LOGAN ON SOUTH AFRICAN TV

SOUTH AFRICA

After living for a couple weeks in a house sized compound within South Africa, I can say this may be the most paranoid country I've ever resided in.

Just as in the USA buying a house that didn't have window screens would be highly suspect, buying a house without an electrified fence, spikes and other defenses in South Africa is simply not done.

In the USA, having your windows open would let in the bugs.  In South Africa, it would let in thieves and murderers.  Which seem to be common.  Or at least thought of as common.

Typical home

Everyone has a story about a friend of theirs who was carjacked, robbed, shot and so on.  If someone wants your cell phone and pulls a screwdriver on you, you'd better hope it is the right model or they may stab your ass anyway.

A couple blocks from nice homes hidden behind loads of defenses are shanty towns which utilize the age old corrugated metal roofs and walls made from mud, shit and snot.

There are certain directions I've been repeatedly cautioned not to walk toward unless I want the 'full South African experience' - which includes getting robbed then stabbed.

At some point, I'm hoping to interview people (on camera) about this interesting and extremely diverse country.



CORRECTION

I improperly called it a 'transvestite party', it was actually a 'drag party'.  There are a lot of little nuisances I am not yet familiar with.

Who says Logan doesn't admit when he is wrong?



LOGAN ON SOUTH AFRICAN TV

Well, I can't say I've never been on South African TV any more.

Before everyone says "We want to see it" please read the story below.

My wonderful host Guy took me to his work.  He'd gotten permission for me to sit through the creation of what I would term a 'corporate TV show'.  In other words, something for people of a particular company to watch.

It was quite interesting to see the TV show put together from the control room.

Also got to see a couple people 'melt'.  Another way to put it kindly would be to say 'they were very uncomfortable on camera'.  There were also a couple people who 'worked' the camera.  Very interesting.  None of them were professionals, they were corporate.

Found it fascinating.

Compared to American studios of which I have no experience I've been told the South African variety is very small and budget conscious.

After a lunch (payment for my upcoming debut) I got to play the part of a 'security specialist' who was talking about how and why people do piracy in an effort to stop it.  Ironic, considering.

Although I've been told this show will go out all over South Africa, I was playing the 'informant' part - darkened room, voice distortion and so on.  I was instructed not to be 'too animated'.  Hence, they didn't really get the full "Logan experience".

It was my first experience  with the autocue.  That is the 'teleprompter' which shows you what you should be saying.  Guy seemed happy with my reading and we didn't have many takes.  Pretty much when I messed up, I'd just pause for a couple beats then do it again.  A couple days ago I got to see how things are edited and figured that would be easy for the editor to splice together.

We'll see if Guy comes up with something in the future for me to do which we could put up a youtube clip so people can see what Logan looks like on South African TV.

After the filming I got to go have a long chat with their editor.  She was very nice and excellent at conversation.

Overall, it was quite a nice day and for that I must again thank my host, Guy.

While all of this was going on, I kept thinking "How many tourist to South Africa get to have THIS kind of amazing experience?"

I am one lucky fucker.



HIRING PRACTICES IN SOUTH AFRICA

You hire someone under contract to paint for you for a year.  After a year, the contract is up and you let the person go.  A couple weeks later, you realize you need something else painted and hire someone else.

Then you get sued by the person who use to work for you and taken to court.  Why did you not hire them back?

In the USA, the employed usually have no rights at all.  That's on one end of the scale.  Here, the amount of worker 'protection' they have makes me think a) why would anyone ever consider hiring someone here and b) it is probably cheaper to just have the person killed rather than pay an extra six months salary after getting sued because you let them go.

But wait, there's more!

In South Africa, the people who clean your home, garden and so on are simply termed 'domestics'.  Living in shantys (aka shanty towns made from corrugated metal and snot) they make under twenty USD per day.

And they damned well better get a muther fucking bucket for Christmas or there will be 'trouble'.  Serious trouble.

They will become surly.  They will complain to the organization that (over) protects workers.  They will whine for money.  They may even get legal action going against you.

What is this 'bucket'?

It is literally a bucket full of non perishable food.  Because this is so fascinating (and demeaning) I got a picture of it which includes the price and contents.

Here's yer bucket, bitch.  Now, STFU.

Wow, it was a bit of culture shock to me.



PRICES

Bucket to keep your poor workers off your back, about $25

LOOKING FOR MORE INTERESTING SHOWS

TV SHOW REVIEW - WALKING DEAD

TJ strongly urged me to watch this despite my hatred of both 'zombie' and 'vampire' shows. So it is on his head. The only 'zombie' type movie I've seen recently that's been worth a shit is Zombieland. I think it was mainly the rules and comedy I liked in that. Note that part two may come about in 2013. I will check that out then.

It appears they have hit several things that have been done to death in this series though I hope it gets better as I go. [8.8 on IMDB? Hell, it must get better! Or standards are lacking...]

*Guy wakes up in the hospital and (big surprise) the rest of the area/planet/universe has gone to shit. Despite this, things like water and some electricity are still working. Apparently, we can fire all those people who work at those places as they are totally unneeded. Despite the world going to shit and everyone dying, somehow this asshole laying totally unprotected in a hospital room was overlooked.

*Little girl zombies. Sure, kids are creepy - especially British children whose eyes shine blue if you shine a direct light on them at night. I had gotten this off of the Simpsons - though when I said it to an older British gentleman, he just nodded. Hence, I figure it's true. Anyway, they like to have little kid zombies figuring it to be creepy - and they like to have them killed to show that 'there is no border they won't cross' - including violence to children. Whoopie. Been done to death, if you'll forgive the pun. Saw it (I shit you not) in the opening scene.

*The hero starts out as bumbling and stupid. I can see that in some of the places I've been ad with different sorts of professions other than a cop. Even the most stupid cop - when confronted with something strange and possibly dangerous would say - get dressed and put on shoes and get some sort of weapon (preferably a gun) before going exploring. The hero in this seemed to rely on his hospital gown as adequate protection. Hell, I'd have gone with a fucking toga made out of the bed sheet if I was really hard up. For his light source, a single book of matches. Here I was only 19 minutes into the first episode and I was rooting for the zombies against such a lame dude. They have lots of emergency flashlights and such around. If they didn't want him to have one, having him do a frenzied look for emergency supplies and finding nothing but an empty box would have told me 'at least he's trying' as opposed to 'what a douchebag'.

*Rather than go through an obviously empty hospital looking for supplies that would aid him (something some of us do even in hospitals that have staff in them...) his first thought is 'there is obviously some danger outside - I've been given sufficient warning and foreshadowing - lets get out there! Douchebag.

*If some fast spreading zombie mojo is in the air, why do these idiots head for high population areas?

*They also had the 'over the top racist guy'. Me? I'd have just stuck a bullet into his head rather than listen to his shit. Redemption? I'd feel better about myself popping a cap in him than working to redeem that individual.

Now, to be fair, half way through the second episode (yes, I did make it that far - I am shocked as well) they did have one innovative thing.

*Zombies figure out who to attack by their sense of smell. [I would have tried doing something when there were few zombies around - like attacking one to see if it responded since I smell like a zombie.]

I could only make it halfway through the second episode before hitting the 'delete' button. Just too fucking painful for me. For myself, I desire a protagonist who isn't an idiot. To follow the stories of some people that don't get killed through wanton stupidity. Have some humor. For this crowd, I kept thinking "Holy fuck - how did they survive this long?"

Sure, this might have had some good ideas in it for a game, but I'm going to let someone else go through the onerous duty of watching this crap to dig through the series for the.



LOGAN'S TOP FIVE TV SHOWS AND WHY

Leverage - clever people doing clever things.

Castle - I'm a fan of Nathan Fillion from Firefly/Serenity

Lie to Me - I think this one may have been cancelled, but I liked it a lot.

Dr Who - Been a fan of this show for years, since the '80's.

Burn Notice - Clever people doing clever things but what really makes this a great show is the voice over in which the main character explains his actions to the audience.