PRAGUE TO MUNICH

LOGAN INTERACTS WITH THE LOCALS

When interacting with the locals, diplomacy is key.

PRAGUE

Visiting Poland makes me anxious to go back.  Now that I know of 'Milky Bars' I know it is always possible to eat cheaply there, thus making it affordable.  And the people - super friendly.  Want to go back.

Went to Prague to meet up with Levan, his new wife Alena (spelling?) and his new son, Sebastian.  Who I am flipping off in the picture above.  With his dad on camera.

Hello nice people who get little sleep (note the stroller)!

I got to hang out a bunch with Levan.  We tried to do some gaming with his group but the store was closed that day to non-Magic The Gathering players (some 'Grand Prix Tournament') so instead we attempted to reenact the 'Trail of Tears' by wandering through Prague.

Fortunately, there were beer stops, just like the original trail of tears.  Or they had 'bear stops'.  I'm not really sure.  I don't think either party had as much fun as was hoped.

Anyway, Prague is a fairly hip, fairly expensive city.  Pictures don't give the full impact.  For normal (as opposed to Loganesque or long term) tourists, I recommend it.  Go and explore.  It is beautiful - European to the core.  Not difficult to travel or navigate.

While in Prague, I got to visit with Jana and her brother Jan.  Yes, their parents had some sort of strategy naming them.

This is a picture of Jana with a stroller because Logan is a dick.

Everyone seems to be doing well.  Levan and Jana even came to see me off.  I thought that was sweet of them.  Also, it seems that in this part of the world, the bus you booked may not be the one that arrives.  Check it out closely.

Damned comfortable bus.



MUNICH

Holgar was waiting for me where the DB (Deutsches Bahn) bus was suppose to go, but didn't.  Fortunately, they'd left their wifi on and we coordinated.

This is Holgar.  If this were not an inanimate picture of Holgar and indeed was the real person, he would say 'hi'.  Since you are looking at a picture, don't expect a lot.

Well, fuck you too, Harry Potter...

Enough already!

So far in hanging out with Holgar, I've discovered that a large number of Germans like to go down to the river to hang out or swim.  It's a stone beach with no chairs so not really my thing though I'm grateful to have gotten a glimpse into what locals here do.

Also, I'd like to state that Europeans seem to have absolutely no qualms about walking a kilometer or three to get somewhere.  This may be alarming to Americans who drive their garbage to the curb.



HITCHES

I've encountered my first hitch in the 'Live and Staggering' tour thus far.  The guy I was suppose to stay with Sept 7 to Sept 10 is unable to host now.

We'll see if I can find someone else who wants me over.



ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE INTERNET

When you are describing the USA to someone and say something outrageous, you have proof at hand to back it up.

In the USA, you don't eat until you are full - you eat until you hate yourself.

BOOK REVIEWS

Charles Sheffield - "My Brother's Keeper"

An interesting book with the worst ending ever.   This counts as science fiction, mostly due to the complexities of the human brain or the incompetence of modern doctors.

It's a twisting story that takes place on earth in the 'not too distant future'.  The part that frustrated me most is it feels like it should be part of a series.

5/10


"Your Fathers, Where Are They?  And The Prophets, Do They Live Forever?" by Dave Eggers

This audio book is in the 'what the fuck did I just listen to' category.  Normally, I'd have stopped it long ago but some mysterious force sucked me in and literally compelled me to watch the whole slow motion car wreck.

Saying anything about what it is would be a spoiler so I'll just go with 'consider it a weird radio drama'.

5/10


Tuskers (Volume 1) by Duncan McGeary

Pig apocalypse.  Yes, really.

It was interesting enough to keep me along for the ride but yet another 'wtf did I just read' book.

Since it is volume 1, I'm guessing eventually another volume will come out.  I'd read it but I'm not going through great lengths to get it.

5/10



MOVIES

From the Uprising Museum in Warsaw, Poland a neat exhibit they have.

Because it is cheap (for movie makers) and picturesque, Prague has a lot of movies made in it.  Here, you get to watch background extras go round and round.



COSTS (Prague)

Bus, Prague to Munich, 4-5 hr trip, 750 CZK
Two coffees, two terribly dry blueberry cheese cakes that taste of sadness, 215 CZK
Beer, 25-40 CZK
Food, cheap, 100-200 CZK (go for the lunch specials, they are usually closer to 100 CZK)
Public travel for half hour, 24 CZK


COSTS (Munich)

Day pass for transport, 6 EUR
Beer from grocery store, 1 EUR
Sandwich and bottle of water from stand up eatery, 6 EUR (note, near Marien Platz)

DRUNK IN WARSAW

OUT DRINKING

While in Warsaw, went out with Pawel to do some drinking.

The evening started out fine.  We went to a friend of his bar and did a couple flavored shots and had some mixed drinks.  Everything was going fine until Pawel announced we should go to his which he would be closing down in a couple hours.

Then it all went to shit.

Normally, Pawel's friends aren't allowed to hang out behind the bar.  Even after this night, he said I was welcomed back there as I increased business.

Unfortunately, my charm worked against me.  People wanted to do shots with me.  I was invited to various tables but didn't go.  I think I was asked to join a secret society.  More shots with customers.  Fucking tequila?  Shit.

I fell asleep sitting behind the bar.

Pawel woke me up while he was closing down the place.  He woke me up when the place was getting closed down.  Put into a taxi.  Stopped at a gas station to take a shit.  Drunk like every bad movie you've seen.  Got put to bed eventually.

Felt like the guy would after a night like this.  Er...now that I watch the video again, probably not actually.

I've not been this drunk in decades.  I was too drunk to smoke.  Hollywood drunk.  Not good.

Next day felt a little under the weather but not too bad.  Was OK with going out and doing stuff.  My host thought I would "dying till after midnight" but I was up a couple hours before him.  He was impressed.

The night did fulfill the "Live and Staggering" title.

We later went to their summer cabin for a couple days.  Despite my buddy Pawel getting sick as a dog and being in bed for nearly all of it, we had a great time.

I wanted to thank Pawel and Ola - the consummate hosts.

THANK YOU FOR AN AWESOME TIME IN POLAND!

WIZZAIR

This is is useful webpage if you must deal with the dread Wizzair.

(Cancellation fee would equal the fare itself - a rather high cancellation fee.  Plus they may charge me for the 'call center fee'.  Hence, I would actually owe them ten euro to call and cancel my flight.)

Never book a plane ticket before finding out the exact prices of accommodation.  What someone else calls a 'good deal', you might consider pretty rotten.



MILKY BARS

In Poland, they have something called 'Milky Bars'.

Sadly, there are none like this.

They are a Polish institution and have been around for years.  When fancy developers try to close them to use the property for something more profitable, the locals freak the hell out.  So, they don't.

Essentially, they are cafeterias where you can get some cheap solid meals.  Even poor people get vouchers to eat there for free.  In the USA, we don't do this because 'fuck poor people'.  Everyone in the USA has a feeling that deep down, if the poor person wanted they could become 'not poor'.

And that's working out super for us.

Anyway, the 'milky bar' gives you a solid meal for under $3.

For prices in USD, at the time of this writing, divide by four.

I asked, 'What keeps everyone from just eating at those instead of restaurants?'  A few different factors - perceived social status, selection, taste.  Right across the street from one of the ones we visited was a full restaurant.

If you'd like to read more on this interesting staple of Polish life, here is a wiki article.

Logan's final analysis - go to at least one or two but bring someone who speaks Polish because nobody will speak anything but there.



COSTS

Dinner for three, nice upscale restaurant, Warsaw, 150 zloties.
Lunch for two, Prague, 440 crowns including tip.

LIVE AND STAGGERING: ROMANIA TO POLAND

LIVE AND STAGGERING: ROMANIA TO POLAND

My host Sorin had gotten back in from partying and dancing the night away with his wife Diana (oh, the lives those without children live!) an hour before it was time for me to leave.  The original plan had been for him to take me to the train station, but he was partied out.  He called me a cab and went (staggered) downstairs to make sure I got it.  Don't get the wrong impression about Sorin and Diana - they are amazingly gracious hosts.  They are also very experienced at hosting having taken in over one hundred couch surfers.  The whole concept of having that many strangers in ones home (sometimes unsupervised) is baffling to fear fed Americans.  Again, turn off the news gang - it's not doing you any favors.  After working non-stop, constantly on call for a month I suspected it was just time to cut loose for them.  I got sleep instead.

At the deserted, mostly abandoned and under construction train station I bought a large bottle of water to keep me company on the journey.  As I walked toward the station, a couple guys in a car stopped to warn me that three guys had taken an unhealthy interest in me.  "Great.  I'm going to get stabbed and robbed before I can even wake up." I thought.   Even at my peak I couldn't take three - it was the odds the old USSR liked.  It was odd getting this warning because I hadn't sensed any malice in the area.  While I'm by no means infallible, I do have a pretty good nose for these things.  Nothing ended up coming of it but it is a hell of a way to wake up.

In retrospect, it was probably three gypsies.  Romanians dislike gypsies.  Not as much as police in the USA seem to dislike blacks but...

I hope Morgan Freeman never gets gunned down.  Who would explain over complicated movie plots to me?

Getting a seat with high visibility and starting a cigarette (possible weapon or distraction and I like to smoke) I blearily glared around me.  One of the ladies who works the ticket counter came out to tell me which train I needed and which specific cars to use.  They drop some of the cars off at different places.

Because that's not confusing at all.

The toilets within the train are disgusting.  I did see the cleaning lady making her rounds but it appeared she was only checking to see if the bathroom itself had been stolen rather than anything to do with cleaning.

I did try to take a pic but it did not come out.  Apparently, my camera even has limits of disgusting shots.  I did find this meme though.

On European trains, it is often fun to sit near the door and watch people try to figure it out.  Often it's something like 'push this button, wait for two seconds and the door opens'.  The first time they came to use the door they get a free pass.  Time to figure out the door.  After the third time of them getting unexpectedly caught in the door or needing to try to figure it out all over again you begin to get the feeling they may be retarded.

And they are so much fun to watch.

Aside from the dungeon like bathrooms (I've actually seen nicer dungeons) the train was fairly modern.  Like buses, they've been squishing the seats closer and closer together as people get fatter and fatter.  Wonder if it is some sort of 'press'.

A 'duck press' for those who don't know what it is.  Apparently, the rich like to squeeze the shit out of their fowl.

Indeed the train was climate controlled.  It was set to 'sweltering' and the first class cabins were even worse.

Once we crossed the border into Hungary, the formerly happy smoking area within the dining car became non-smoking.  Strange.

More importantly, for my trip, the train was inexplicably delayed for an hour.  I got to see some other foreigners go and complain to the driver.  They had clearly not traveled often.  Complaining does nothing.  According to my ticket, I had to travel back in time fifty minutes to make my connecting train.  Rather than speaking aggressively to the conductor, I politely inquired the next time he passed by about my lack of time machine problem.  By careful use of body language and his hands, he conveyed to me that it was not his fucking problem.

It turns out later that two other trains had a head on collision.  Twenty people or so were injured but nobody was killed.  I doubt the angry foreigner found out about this but they must have felt like an asshole.  Unless they were the 'look, I don't care if we have to drive the train over people' type.

Drive over all these people so I am not late!

Avoid Budapest train station ticket office.  If you need a ticket, buy it online.  Yes, this is the actual advice the only English speaker was giving the hoard of people trying to get in to the ticket office.  Rather than having lines inside and queuing like regular folk, they kept everyone outside and employed pushers to keep the people out of the ticket office.  Yes, I got pushed and pissed.

Fortunately, I found some nice volunteer (?) customer service teens who directed me to a different 'lineless' office.  They told me my ticket would still work on the next train.  Do I need a seat reservation?  Not at all.  If they tell you that you don't need a seat reservation, howl and scream till  you get one.  Really.

Otherwise, on the train you will probably need to change seats several times and may end up lurking in the aisles or connecting areas between the car like a troll whose bridge has been destroyed.

Fucking goats...

I was so out of it I needed to go back and ask the customer service guy four different questions - or the same one four different times.  I forget which.  My hands were shaking and I was covered in sweat.  And I stank.  Ah, the world of budget traveling.

I feel and smell homeless while en-route...

Since I was in this state, I completely forgot about the whole seat reservation thing.

After a few hours layover I was back on the train watching locals and tourists alike dislodging reservation-less people from their seats and feeling resentful.  By some miracle, I didn't have to move or lurk.  Possibly they thought I couldn't stand.

Generally, there was a lot of beer drinking (but no smoking) going on.  Several patrons got sprayed by a badly open beer can.  It was that kind of crowd.

One of the locals I spoke with told me the train station was not a good place to wait.  There were no chairs inside.  Apparently, homeless people had been using them to avoid freezing to death.  They took out all the chairs because, 'fuck the homeless'.  She advised the bus station.

Which turned out to be closed for several hours so I dug my sweater out of my backpack and put it on my sweaty body for the long wait.   The bus station in Bratislava is a major transportation hub.  Although buses are in and out of there 24/7, they close the building and businesses within for many hours daily.  Because, fuck tourists!

Some Polish night hitchhikers trying to get back home after going to some music festival joined me.  They had a bottle of wine but no way to open it.  They were impressed I carry a professional corkscrew.  Professional alcoholic!

And I blacked out for several hours.  When I awoke, it was daytime.  Of the hitchhikers, the two girls went to try their luck on the road, the guy got a ticket to Prague.  Afterward, he discovered there were no buses going from Prague back to Poland.  I advised him to start a new life in the Czech Republic.  He seemed less than enthusiastic with this option.

Since people in Europe don't watch CNN, they have no fears about hitchhiking.  Not everyone is interested in making your skin into a suit, apparently.

At least in Europe...

Eventually, Polski bus arrived.  This has the most uncomfortable small seats of any Western European bus I've ever been on.  Yes, it is cheap but your ass pays for it.

And that got me without incident to Poland where Pawel picked me up.

More in the next exciting edition!



TJ'S GUIDE TO LEVELS OF THINKING ABOUT MOVING OUT OF THE USA

Level 1 we have talked about it.
Level 2 we have also surfed the Internet looking at nice places to live.
Level 3 we have researched the legal requirements to move to another country.
Level 4 we have been saving money for a year exclusively for the cost of moving.
Level 5 we have our passports and both have applied to companies over seas to see what our chances of getting employment are.
Level 6 we have spent a few weeks living and traveling out side of the United States to see what life is like elsewhere and done all the previous items listed.

Do you agree with his levels?



WHY DO AMERICAN (US) RESTAURANTS SERVE FREE TAP WATER?

I had thought it was due to the laws of hospitality, crossing of the plains and such during the colonization, take over and destruction of the indigenous people.  I was wrong.  Again, the answer seems to have been religious wackjobs.  Check out this article here.



FEELING OLD YET?

Mad Max 2, The Road Warrior.

As of the writing of the blog, this guy is now forty three.  Holy crap.



STUPID SAYINGS

"You've got some big shoes to fill here."

Tired of people using that 'old chestnut' (a different subject entirely) on you?  Feel like smacking them in the face with a wet pimp stick?

Try these helpful comebacks instead!

>>> "You've got some big shoes to fill here." <<<

"Don't worry, I've brought my own."

"Not as big as the ones at Clown College!"

"Are you saying my predecessors' most memorable feature was his/her freakishly large feet?"

"There is a uniform that comes with this job?"

"So when someone leaves your company, they are stripped of their clothing, pushed out the door naked and the next person has to wear the same clothing?  Can I bring an extra set of clothing in case you are unsatisfied with my performance?"



BOOK REVIEW

D6 Caverns and Creatures by Robert Bevan

A collection of short stories.  See previous blog for his other book.  I found this one to be even better than the first book.  The characters are really hitting their stride.  Some very funny parts.

7/10



COSTS

Taxi ride from train station to main bus station in Bratislava at night, 15 EUR
Using the toilet in the bus station, Bratislava, .25 EUR
Small sandwich and juice, 3 EUR

BULGARIA TO ROMANIA

BULGARIA TO ROMANIA

Although I was made to be very comfortable - and welcome - back at Kosto's apartments (the same apartment I'd rented before), honestly being in the same small town was kind of a drag.  I resolved to go somewhere new next time I'm in Bulgaria.

Unlike the USA, trains are still used as transport in Eastern Europe.  I resolved to use them while I could as they are freaky expensive in Western Europe.

From Plovdiv to Sophia (capital) there is a small local train.

While waiting for that at about two in the morning, I asked a couple cops where I could take a leak.  They showed me to the pay bathroom which was closed.  For some reason.  They then gestured to a nearby wall.  "If you don't care, I don't care." I retorted.

Eventually, I reached the under construction Sophia train station.  It looks like they are going for a 'cubist concrete' style.

I was trying to figure out how to get the train for the next leg of my journey (Sophia to Bucharest) and asked one of the ticket sellers.  She didn't speak any languages useful for a traveler.  Eventually, I was shown a TV monitor they had conspicuously set up.  Hey, I didn't have any sleep last night.

The only important parts are the first column, what train you have and the last - what platform it's on.  Red box means you'd better run.

Er - to catch the train.  Not because you're going to be hunted down and killed like a common snow leopard.

That's HIS job.

My platform came up as "83".  Quite a trick considering there were seven platforms.

I only wish I was joking.

It turned out later (after getting the police in on helping me to find out what the hell was going on) there are indeed eight platforms.  The eighth is handwritten on a piece of paper and not labeled on the "this way to platforms one through seven".

Turns out that I was, once again, not picked for wizarding school.

So platform eight?  Great - what's the three?  Oh - your local language symbol for west.  No, that's not freakishly confusing at all.  Thanks so much.

The 'west' thing is important because they load multiple trains on the same tracks (despite some other tracks not being busy) because that is not at all confusing either.

Is this why buses have been buttfucking the rail industry?

Possibly that and they haven't caught on to the 'offer free wifi on your trains'.

So we went through the border.  Though it took longer than perhaps it should have, it was one of the relaxed border crossings where the border guard came on to the train, collected the passports and returned them later.

I eventually arrived in Bucharest, got the local train to Ploiesti (we're still talking Romania here), called my hosts and they collected me from the train station.  Thanks to the nice couple that let me borrow their phone!



MY HOSTS

In the LHI tour I didn't put up pics of my hosts.  I regret that.  So, this time I am doing it.

Here are my hosts in Romania, Sorin and Diana.

These guys have an interesting job - they work for a casino!  They're high falutin' managers which means that if I go with them to their work, they leave me at the bar with as much free booze as I can stomach.

That's a nice deal.

Since the bartenders aren't doing much (summer is the slow season), we sit around and talk.

Ma-ki-hel, Logan, Kat-a-leen.  (Spelled phonetically, sorry I don't know how to spell it but it's better this way.)

Getting back to my hosts, they are super nice to me.  I consider a week to be about the max I should freeload off someone.  Last time I was in Romania, I ended up staying with them for a week.  This time they said I should come for two weeks.

Nice folks.  They treat me super well.  And, best yet, getting to meet them in yet a different town!  Yea!

Hope to visit them in a few more years.



HOW MUCH DO PEOPLE IN THE USA LIKE BACON?

Apparently, enough to be fucked by it...

BOOK REVIEWS

Note on 'graphic audio'.  Those are audio books where they put in sound effects and such.  These are designed for people who have no fucking imagination.  I find such things - as well as multiple 'cast members' to be extremely distracting.  Hence, I avoid that shit.  I figure these things are a symptom of people who have been raised on TV and are incapable of forming pictures in their mind.

"Libriomancer", "Codex Born" and "Unbound" by Jim C. Hines

Pretty decent urban fantasy.  The most interesting part is the type of magic (see title of book) used.  By drawing on the collective belief and emotions of the people who have read books, the magicians can literally reach into a book and draw forth what they want from the book.  This reminds me a bit of the book "Geekomancy" which did partially the same thing, using the collective belief/love of people to get the magic but this puts a new slant on it.

The story, heroes and such are really nothing new.  The big powerful organization is way too busy to deal with what seems important to the hero.  He even had a 'turn in your badge and gun' moment with one of the bosses but was later reinstated because he is too damned good.  The hero also suffers from not being very clever and hella reckless.

The author became upset when I mentioned that with the hero getting into that much trouble (and being an extremely fast reader and great researcher) he would bother to learn a bit of 'trade craft' (spy stuff).  Apparently that isn't ever going to happen.  I would encourage anyone who is constantly put into life and death situations to bother to learn some of this.   Eventually, you just end up shaking your head wondering why this guy is still alive and hasn't gotten the people close to him killed.  If these characters were either overconfident or suicidal nihilists it would make more sense.

Note, I don't recommend contacting this author.  Normally, authors I talk to are not so overly sensitive.  No doubt there is more to the story than I know.  Perhaps he just discovered someone had raped his dog.  (If so, my condolences to the dog, contact PETA.)  I've no idea, but it is not often I need to 'unfriend' someone.

[Note, if this sounds overly harsh, rather than bitching about someone posting on your wall within that thread, delete the thread (it's your wall) and send them a PM.  If they do it again, unfriend and block them.  This isn't rocket science.]

Nothing new here but it is not a bad series either.

5/10


Books by F. Paul Wilson:  "Cold City", "Dark City", "Fear City" - early Repairman Jack books.

While these may look like three different book titles, take my word for it, they are all pretty much one long book.

Prequels are usually shit (the "Amber" by Zelazny ones come to mind) but these were different.  These were written by the same author, unlike the ones mentioned above which I begin to suspect I may be holding an illogical grudge against.

Normally you cringe when protagonists do stupid stuff.  Like in the "Libriomancer" series I reviewed above.  However, in these books they talk about the protagonist in his early formative years.  He's a bit hot headed, morally conflicted, completely inexperienced and getting some training.  Yeah.  This is exactly the right place for him to mess up without the audience screaming "Are you stupid?"  Quite a refreshing read after "Libriomancer".

This guy's story is not unlike "The Equalizer" from the ancient days of television that anyone born post internet has no idea exists.  It's not really a new concept.  In the later (sprawling) series, he solves problems.  These books are how he gets started.

Part of the appeal of the series is the guy leads a very 'off the grid' lifestyle.   While Logan leads a fairly off the grid 'alternative' lifestyle, this guy is completely off the grid.  No last name, no social security number, all payment under the table.  Good stuff.

I'd recommend these books.  They are easy to read and were made long after the author had 'sharpened his quill'.  Maybe that expression is too old.  Authors get better as they get older.  This was made fairly recently.

It may suck you into the series.  Without giving any spoilers (hate those people) I can say that there is more going on than some guy getting paid to rough up people for cash.  The series is eventually classified as 'urban fantasy'.  Enjoy.

7/10



LOGANISMS

"Cold McDonald's french fries taste like...broken dreams..."

"Electricity is what separates us from cheetahs."



Costs (Romania):

Bottle of hard alcohol, about 10 USD
Bulgarian 'fast food' (think BBQ), about 1.5 USD (yeah, not bad)

ATHEISTS IN FOXHOLES

ATHEISTS IN FOXHOLES

"There's no atheists in foxholes!"

Liar.

I'm going to guess that this statement is not meant to be taken as it stands.  Simply having someone crawl into a foxhole it would be stupid to have them suddenly undergo some sort of religious conversion.

"Oh, but you have to get shot at!"

OK - do you mean that someone has to literally be in a foxhole getting shot at for them to suddenly try to tilt the pinball game that is god through prayer?  If so, that saying not only seems really crazy specific but it is difficult to prove or disprove.

I'm going to guess that the statement actually means "When it looks like you're going to die you will suddenly start dry humping the leg of a god."

Which seems really stupid to me.  If I believed in a god, I'd guess that his divine plan probably revolves around me getting shot and my corpse violated in unspeakable ways.  He's mysterious like that.

So I'll assume the actual intent of the statement is more along the lines of "If you think you will die it will suddenly be come to (not on) Jesus time."

Which is complete bullshit.

As anyone who has been following my blog (http://logansvoyage.blogspot.com/) knows, I've thought I was going to die many times during my four plus years of wandering the world.  Any thing from getting maliciously stalked in Bosnia to having an emergency operation in Republic of Georgia to collapsing not once but twice on a gritty hotel lobby floor in Malaysia.  Earthquakes, revolutions, revolts and so forth have been events that I've witnessed.

Thinking back on it, I've actually lost track of how many times I thought "Well, shit.  I might die here."

Not once did I go creepily religious.  It could be stubbornness or not wanting to spend an eternity with religious types in an ill defined 'heaven'.

My thoughts when this sort of stuff happens are usually along the lines of "Well, shit."



HOT DAYS

People love to caution me when it gets a bit hot but after living in the tropics, the jungle and a bunch of deserts, I just smile and nod at them.  A 'scorcher' in Bulgaria is a totally different thing than when it happens in say Indonesia.

So I was out wandering around and  decided it was critical to get new shoes.

Being a fat guy, I am super proud of having worn a literal hole in my shoes.  Yes, I realize it may be through flattening the shoe with enough force to make diamonds but still, proud.

Since the bottoms had literally gone out from my shoes, my feet were cooking.

I went to a shoe store and managed to find some different sandals.  Of course, they were too small for me but still felt more comfortable than having my feet baked.

Shop keeper:  "These are leather."
Logan:  "Doesn't matter if they are plastic or leather.  The quality is not good.  They will probably wear out in two weeks."
Shopkeeper:  "They are made in Bulgaria!"
Logan:  (pause)  "One week?"

Yes, that is an actual conversation.



LOGAN'S GUIDE TO SURVIVING HOT CLIMATES!

Stay inside, run the air conditioning and drink chilled alcoholic drinks.

If that is unavailable (it usually is with my lifestyle), here are some extra steps.

Drink an assload of water.  More than that.  Those big liter and a half bottles?  You'll probably go through three per day.  More if you're doing much.

Watch your pee.  If it isn't mostly clear, drink more water.  Seriously or you might get sick.

Unless you are English, avoid direct sunlight.  English people will sunburn but due to their culture they must be sunburned to show other English people they "got some sun" when they were on vacation.  This is the only reason many go on vacation.  English people (the white ones) are usually either pasty white (beginning of vacation) or suffering heat stroke and second degree burns (end of vacation).  Assuming you are not English (or insane) stay out of direct sunlight.

If you can't, always wear head protection.  If you don't, you deserve what is coming.  Seriously.

Watch the locals, do what they do.  They've been surviving in this shitty weather longer than you have and may have some tricks.  Vary your schedule to match the locals.  It's tourists trying to see everything they can in as short of time as possible that are at the most risk for getting sunstroke and dehydration.

If you are stuck out in a desert with little in supplies, try to team up with Bear Grylls or some other famous survivalist.  Be nice to them and they may drag your useless ass out of there.  If you can't find them, try to make your inevitable death look like a bizarre murder to irritate the local police.



BOOK REVIEWS

"Redshirts" by John Scalzi.

Aside from the weird ranty stuff he goes on about after the primary novel is done (a bit of WTF), I found this witty and a bit funny in a couple places.

Recommended for fans of Star Trek.


"The Time Portal" by Joe Corso & Deborah McCarthy

Though I hated the reader in this (it sounded like he had a faint lisp) and there were several eye rolling moments in this, I powered through for as long as I could.

The book built up a guy who was a jewel thief recruited (for some reason) by the CIA.  After a big explosion he developed special sight which allowed him to see time curtains.

After going through one somewhere in the USA (I forget where) he ended up in jolly ole England and immediately set about working on creating time paradoxes by shooting a pistol around and giving a king a flashlight.

Eventually, I just gave up on the book.

2/10


COSTS

Buying new shoes, 45 lev.

FIVE BOOK REVIEWS

MORE AUDIO BOOK REVIEWS

Plovdiv is a quiet town.  No invasions, earthquakes or revolutions - unlike some countries I've lived in...  I'm stuck here for two more weeks.  It's nice and relaxing but after over a month in a place I chafe to move on.  Plus, walking about ten kilometers a day (with many rest breaks and  pain) I've seen pretty much all of this town.

Hence, not a lot else going on but listening to books



"Necromancing the Stone" by Lish McBride

Oh no, not this asshole again.  I thought I'd had enough of this bad guy last book.  Guess you can't keep a good necromancer down...

"You can't keep a good necromancer down" might be a good title for a book.

I enjoyed this book as much as the first.  The only frustrating thing is that the publisher wanted to wait and see how these books did before the author got commissioned to make more of them.  Instead, she went into another series.  So, Sam, the main character of this book and the previous one "Hold Me Closer, Necromancer" (see previous blog entry for review) will have to wait a bit (or indefinitely if sales are 'soft') before doing more with the story.  That was irritating.

6/10.



"No Easy Day" by Mark Owen

The firsthand account of the mission that killed Bin Laden.  It was OK but honestly I liked his second book a little better.

5/10



William Lee Gordon - "Here Comes Earth 01 - Emergence"

Normally, I'm not a huge fan of sci-fi books.

Movies, great.  As everything is often resolved in ninety minutes you don't get so bogged down as in a book.

The books break down to one of two camps.  The techno babble crowd or the blaster crowd.   The technobabble crowd will often go on and on with this crap for pages like anyone is following (or cares to follow) their made up futuristic gobbledygook.   The blaster books are pretty much ones that could be set just as easily in pirate times but instead of a blaster, they've got a one shot flintlock.

This book is quite a bit different.  It covers ground that has been covered in many other books but I've never seen this approach to it.  The basic plot is "Aliens come to earth and want to take some earthlings back to their planet to get a look around and see if they want to be part of their team."

Anyone who actually reads (or listens to) this book will say "Yes, that is the non-spoiler plot".

My only complaint is the varying point of view.  The author rotates between about five different people.  I'm not sure of the exact number because hey, I've lost track.  To me it is interesting as you get to see the events through different filters but the jumping around happens often enough (say every short chapter) that I've given up trying to keep track of who the fuck is who.  Really.

But the writing - and perhaps even more importantly - the big questions brought up during the course of the book is fascinating.  These are things that a lot of people wouldn't consider.

To put it in Star Trek terms to simplify it a lot, "Hey, you want to join the Federation?  Yes?  Boom!  You're in and now everything is wonderful."

Would that honestly really ever happen with humans?  Oh hell no.

The author explores why emotional humans getting hold of advanced tech may not be the best thing initially for the humans.  And a whole lot of other questions.  Like "what kind of idiot aliens would want to get humans involved with the rest of the galaxy?"  Seriously - you'd have to not know human nature very well to want to get humans as a whole involved.  Even a small group of humans would be quite  a disruption.

Honestly, this is one of the more interesting science fiction books I've read in years.  I know there is suppose to be a second book but it doesn't seem to be around yet.  That makes me sad.  And hungry.  Hungry for more of the sciencey words to get stuffed into my melon.  So I will have to wait.  It appears this could be a large series.

And yes, given the chance I would expand my tourism to the rest of the universe.

7/10



"Critical Failures" by Bevan

The beginning of this book is much like some we've seen in the past with the "Guardians of the Flame" series.  Shitty GM with shitty players all playing a shitty game system (yeah, I'm talking to you, D&D) send the players into a fantasy world.  The stereotype that they are all losers with serious anger, maturity and social issues is in full swing.

The first book of Guardians of the Flame was pretty good and (IMO) quickly went to shit in subsequent books.

Thus far, it is not possible for me to tell if this book series will go to shit or not.  Despite there being three books which have been out for awhile, only the first comes in audio format.  No idea why.  Tweeted the author but these people fail to instantly answer every random question I put to them.  Odd, I know.

If more audio books are made (the reader did a pretty good job) I will listen to them.  There were some good humor moments in the book but they were only now and then.  An average book.

5/10.



SEAL TEAM SIX

Some professions have much better stories than others.  From my days of being a cubical monkey, very few interesting stories have arisen.

Cops have good stories which usually revolve around the stupidity of 'perps'.   And, sadly, paperwork.

Special forces also have interesting stories.

The book kept me entertained.  It was a mix of a few different factors - wanting to complete the mission, getting dicked over by politicians, getting entangled in emotions, etc.

5/10



REPOSTING OF THE LOGAN SCALE

As I've done a bunch of reviews and some people may be too lazy to read the previous blog entry, here is the scale I use again.

Logan's movie (and other media) scale:

1 - Logan has many, many interests and this didn't trip any of them. Normally though I don't send hate mail to the director or writers for making such a piece of shit. Normally.

2 - It's a shitty movie I might have stood for over a half hour of but I'm glad to have escaped it.

3 - Here is the turning point. I either watched about 75% of this trash before turning it off or perhaps made it all the way through and feel disgust for having gone that far.

4 - The movie was watched in it's entirety but was just 'bad'.

5 - It's a movie. While not especially good or bad it did manage to suck an hour and a half out of my time and kept me entertained enough. It did it's job but no more.

6 - Generally enjoyed the film, book, etc.

7 - A very good movie, book, etc.

8 - This can be re-watched now and again.

9 - Very rewatchable. Undeniably a great movie. To me, at least.

10 - I will probably be seeing a lot of this movie. If I kept stuff, it would definitely be in some sort of collection.

BOOK REVIEW TIME

All I have been doing lately is wandering around Plovdiv (Bulgaria) and listening to audio books.  That's why there are so many audio book reviews.  Fear not, in less than a fortnight I will be back on the road.



Logan's movie (and other media) scale:

1 - Logan has many, many interests and this didn't trip any of them. Normally though I don't send hate mail to the director or writers for making such a piece of shit. Normally.

2 - It's a shitty movie I might have stood for over a half hour of but I'm glad to have escaped it.

3 - Here is the turning point. I either watched about 75% of this trash before turning it off or perhaps made it all the way through and feel disgust for having gone that far.

4 - The movie was watched in it's entirety but was just 'bad'.

5 - It's a movie. While not especially good or bad it did manage to suck an hour and a half out of my time and kept me entertained enough. It did it's job but no more.

6 - Generally enjoyed the film, book, etc.

7 - A very good movie, book, etc.

8 - This can be re-watched now and again.

9 - Very rewatchable. Undeniably a great movie. To me, at least.

10 - I will probably be seeing a lot of this movie. If I kept stuff, it would definitely be in some sort of collection.



BOOK REVIEWS

Note:  People may think I only run into good audio books.  This is completely untrue.  For every book I review, two to five got deleted after half an hour or less.  Annoying readers, stories that didn't immediately grab me, etc cause rapid deletion.  I'm just reviewing the ones I liked rather than hearing the usual message of "Oh, it gets better if you stick with it longer."  For me, this is bullshit.  Most people don't really know the meaning of "Life is too short" unless they've experienced a lot of personal loss or are going to die from some sort of disease soon.  I'm surprised I'm still alive so my time is too precious to spend on garbage.  There are also some things I just don't like - 'graphic audios' where they put in the sound effects anyone not brought up on a constant diet of TV should be able to use their imaginations to get.  Multiple readers I find distracting.  Give me one talented voice actor.




Gun Machine by Warren Ellis

Reader, excellent.  Story - kept me engaged.  This is not too common so I thought I'd mention it.

I didn't read the wiki (etc) before reading it.  Normally, if the reader sucks or some element of the story/setting/characters doesn't grab me in the first few minutes, it's gone.  Life is too short and there is too much out there to read to wade through something hoping it gets better.

I really have no bitches about the book other than the same one critics gave (everything gets rapped up quick and neatly at the end) but it is not a serious gripe.

Recommend checking this book out.  It is NOT a genre I normally enjoy but in this case I listened to it in a day.


"Day By Day Armageddon", Book 1 by J.L. Bourne

This was a page turner though the very ending (and beginning of book two) was jarring.

A bit of a 'WTF?'

To discuss the book would be to give spoilers however I can say it is a world collapsing survival type book.  Pretty well done.  A page turner.

The second book gave a screeching halt to my reading.

Suddenly, there were zombies.  No explanation - almost as though the author decided "Fuck it, zombies are big right now - I'll just stick them in without explanation."

I thought more than once "Am I reading the wrong book?  What happened to the first cool character and his friend?  Who the fuck are these jokers?"

And that was the end of what started as a very promising series.


"Crooked Little Vein" by Warren Ellis

Audio book

After too many establishing shots of pathetic excuse for a human private eye, this book goes down the 'what the fuck did I just read' humorous rabbit hole quick fast and in a hurry.

There is shit in here I would have been proud to think up for the old HC campaign within.  My saying for table top gaming was 'If it causes the players to need therapy later, you have succeeded as a GM'.

This is right down there with that.

One thing that impresses me thus far is this author seems to have written only two books (which were big enough to get audio books) but they are of strikingly different genres.  Writing in just one is hard enough.  Mastering more than one, badass.

Just like the old coffee commercial, this was good to the last drop.

Highly advised.

9/10


"Ghosts of War" - by Ryan Smithson

This is a book about what happened in Iraq to a brand new 19 year old soldier who went over there.

There are only three types of people who are able to ask 'what's it like':

a) spouse or very close friend

b) people who have been over there (known as 'comparing war stories')

c) people who have seen there own bad shit back when they served

So, if you don't fit into any of these three categories this book is a good way to get a sample of what's it like. I'm enjoying it though the reader (who is the author) is not an actor - hence less smooth than audio book 'performances'.

The guy is 'hella' philosophical at times but overall I liked it.

6/10.


"No Hero - The Evolution of a Navy SEAL" by Mark Owen

Pretty decent book, good reader.  Nothing really special here but enjoyable.  This is the same author who wrote No Easy Day.  NED was a best seller and I'm going to get hold of that and review it.

6/10.


"Hold Me Closer, Necromancer" by Lish McBride

Catchy title.  Book Lumsie would have approved of.

There are aspects of this that felt very 'young adult' (we can't go to any authority figures, we're immature, etc) but oddly the main characters were all about 19-20 years old.  Odd.  Remembering all the odd stuff I had been through and done by that time, various espionage training, dealing with gangsters, blowing stuff up and shooting stuff down - it seemed these guys were extremely inexperienced at life.  Or I just had an abundance of weird shit going on with me.  I don't know.  But they did seem like nice people.

But aside from that, I enjoyed the story and the book seemed to go by very quickly.

7/10.

SEMI-POPULAR CULTURE

Since I'm currently not wandering around - and nothing special is happening in the town - this is a blog entry about various forms of entertainment Logan has been doing while he waits for August first!



MOVIE REVIEWS

The Age of Adaline, 2015.

Unfortunate name of the film.

There are some of the normal tropes one would expect to find in a "I live forever" movie.  The woman (immortal) has the Sherlock Holmes look at someone and know a bit about them thing going on - which is nice.  Her money is in long term stocks - great.  She speaks a few languages.  Her daughter now looks like her grandmother.  She makes out of date references.  (I don't have the stocks thing going.  Sad.)

Generally though it is a love story.  Which makes Logan sad.

You'd have thought this would have tipped me off.

There are some gaping plot holes in the story.  Early on (organization) tries to (spoiler) her and she escapes.  The logical thing to do for (organization) is to keep an eye on her daughter.  This is not complicated stuff.  Naturally, she keeps in contact with her daughter.  Illogically, they don't manage to find her.  It's a whole lot of WTF.  Also, the writers seem to think (organization) will give up on chasing someone they believe to be an immortal after a couple decades.  Because they obviously don't keep written records.

Also, she gets her new ID's from some nerd who works out of his own house.  This guy is clearly not a professional and I wonder how the hell he is doing this without getting busted.  At his house.

Generally, with fake ID's you get what you pay for.

She also decides to go on a date with someone who is either persistent or a stalker - depending on your point of view.  I'm thinking he's going more toward the creepy stalker type.  But, he's rich and women forgive rich guys for a lot of bad behavior.  See Fifty Shades of Gray for more information.  After just a couple weeks he is expressing love.  Rich and good looking apparently works.

One of the little romantic flourishes they do in this movie is offer to take each other to "some place they've never been before".  I keep hoping "bum fight" but apparently, it's not romantic enough for them.

I do like her 'move every decade' thing.

Though Highland did have some WTF plot holes, it was still twice the story.

I understand that she's still emotional and all but I'm wondering how much involvement with regular folk you'd want after a bunch of decades.

Sadly, wild coincidence meets the plot when the immortal meets up with (spoiler) who just happens to be (spoiler) and what do you know!  Riiiight.

Wild coincidence continues to rear it's ugly head when they play Trivial Pursuit and (ola!) all of the questions seem to be from the time period the immortal was alive during.  Which is to make the audience think since she was alive then, she would know.  Like people alive today know all of the trivia that is going on right now.

Harrison Ford is in the movie though, which is neat.  Sadly, not even he can save this rather lackluster movie.

"Even my stupid looking glasses can't save this horrible movie!" - Harrison Ford.

It is funny that - if you think about it, the (spoiler) ends up tagging the same (spoiler) that his (spoiler) did.  This is usually something people might vomit about or morally object to.  I'm guessing not a lot of people think in these terms though.

Unfortunately, rather than staying (spoiler) she became (spoiler).  I'm thinking "This is not a fucking happy ending."

This movie also highlights the importance of doing background checks on all your lovers if you are an immortal.

Because hey - they might just be The Kurgan.  You can never tell.

4/10


Comedy movie "Spy" (2015)

They were making fun of the hotel room the lady was in and I was thinking "Hey, that's pretty nice!  Look how big the bathroom is!" and so on.

Sigh.

There are several good laugh out loud moments in the film.

I'd thought that this might be one of those movies that only makes it through the first ten minutes before being deleted forever but I liked the action, the jokes and even the story.

This scene wasn't in the movie at all.  But, ever since my traumatic childhood incident I have been careful NOT to spoil movies for others.  Why this picture?  Because when I googled 'spy 2015' it came up for some reason.  Totally different movie.  Weird.  But, it fits in that it is wacky.  And Spy was a wacky movie.

8/10 - bumped up from 7/10 for the number of actual laughing out loud moments.  I am not an 'easy audience'.

MMORPGS

(If you don't like MMORPG's, skip this entry)

I've been looking around the internet to see what MMO's are out that don't suck.

Only ESO doesn't suck - but I've played the shit out of it.  Oh, but they have so much new stuff, yada yada yada.  Yeah.  It's the same game of kill shit, level up and get gear.

Oh but Logan, all games are like that!  Well, unless they have good crafting systems are more 'sandbox' than 'theme park', I suppose you could be right.

A picture of a theme park game.  Eh, close enough.

But there are several good games, I'm told, on the horizon.

Which is the problem.

They are always on the fucking horizon.

"Well, yes, most of the released games suck so much ass that you will want to kill yourself for having spent money on them after a mere couple months but in the future - IN THE FUTURE!"

I've been hearing that rubbish for about fifteen years.

They've put in a new twist called 'early access' now.

That means you can pay money to get access to a half completed buggy piece of shit.  Which people do in droves.  I suspect simply because there aren't enough good finished games out there they haven't already played the hell out of.

With all these games that are going up on Kickstarter, I'm wondering what their motivation for upkeeping and updating the game after it is released is.  You've paid for the game, they released it.  It will be buggy as all new MMO's are.  I suspect they'll fix the biggest of the bugs but after that, the product is 'done'.

Good luck with paying for half (well or much less) completed shit.

We'll see how this goes.

There are several games which I looked at on various youtube videos.  It's amazing how well they get reviewed and when you go over to look at Steam, they basically warn you that you'll be bathing in dog shit if you buy this game.

"Don't do what Johnny Don't does."

But in the future!  Oh, in the future we'll have flying cars and games which don't suck!

Picture is inaccurate only in that both these bitches aren't texting.

So what am I looking for in a MMO?

Well, I've done the kill stuff level up, get better gear, kill bigger stuff quite a bit.  Theme park style games are where you go to the area you'll hunt in when you're characters around level twenty then over to here when you hit level twenty five and so on.  Been there, done that.

I still feel Minecraft is a landmark game though many can't get past the graphics.

Open worlds are nice when you have the option of going to anywhere and hunting anything.  Better still if it has a good crafting/gathering system.  I would like it if you can build stuff and change the terrain around.

Games which look interesting then I become wary of are ones which have forced PVP.  An example of that is the partially completed alpha buggy you can pay twenty dollars to get in on it 'Reign of Kings'.  In addition to forced PVP, you can also tie a rope onto someone's ankle, drag them around, stick them in a cage and torture them.

Which all sounds fine until you consider this could be done to you.  Over and over and over.

Possibly by this guy.

Reading up on their reviews, it looks like as with every other forced PVP game I've heard of, they have gotten the cream of the crop in terms of scumbags.

Other than what looks to be an Ultima Online 'hey lets grief the new people till they quit' type of community, it doesn't look too horrible.

I am hoping they address two of the big problems I brought up a decade and a half ago (bet they don't) about being able to build/destroy stuff.

If destruction is free, your shit will be destroyed and looted pretty much as soon as someone finds it.  Which apparently is happening in 'Reign of Kings'.  Regularly.

If you can build stuff which doesn't have any real purpose other than 'being pretty', you get large waste lands of 'pretty buildings' which serve no purpose.

We'll see how it plays out... IN THE FUTURE!  Oh, the future.



LARPING

How to write a character background for LARPing.

by Logan Horsford (player of Lumsie) with a special thank you to Kyle Kent.  He reviewed this article and gave valuable feedback and insights to it.  Thank you, Kyle.


Before starting, realize that the entire purpose of a 'character history' is to inspire plot to use parts of it in an ongoing game.  Histories filled with deeds of no current relevance are just poorly written fiction.

It's all about plot hooks.  If you can't write things that fire the imagination of the plot team, just submit a 'hi, my name is' badge instead.

1.  Since you are probably not a professional author, brevity is your friend.

Even if you are a professional author (such as Jim Butcher, who has played NERO), your initial character history turn in should be a double spaced paragraph.  Double space it so plot may easily write notes or comments.  Note that some plot people want to read longer histories.  The safest course of action is to ask them ahead of time but generally it will be a page or less.

Rather than using descriptors, use bullet points.

(Note, I wanted a picture of bullet points using real bullets.  Apparently, nobody else on the internet has yet come up with this idea and my current lifestyle doesn't do well with the whole 'hoarding ammunition for funny pics' thing.  So, use your imagination.)

If the plot person wants more information, they will ask for it.

If you don't see anything enter game within three events, tell them you are going to approach your character history from a different perspective and you will write up something different.  Obviously, your first effort wasn't good enough to warrant getting bumped up to get in game after three sessions.


2.  Most character histories follow a tired pattern.  Don't.

The normal character history is "My character's parents were killed by [fill in creature] and the [fill in over powered object that your low level ass is never going to get hold of] was lost.  I am now seeking revenge on those creatures and to find the bauble.

As an addendum to this, be sure that whatever you write will be fun for the plot team.  If it is something that has been done before, it probably won't get run.


3.  Writing character histories is ongoing.

Update your character history as you go.

You don't have to flood the plot team with information all at once.  When I first started playing Lumsie, the only part of my character history I knew was that both of my parents were dead.  Twist - they were still moving and talking.  Undead.  Dad was a liche, mom was a vampire.

Later, it was revealed they were from an evil kingdom named 'Fa'.  Still later, this kingdom is in a different dimension.

Had I submitted the fact that my character could travel at will through dimensions, was a product of cloning, had been to the USA with a bunch of clones and watched the film "The Highlander" in a theater at the outset, any reasonable members of plot team would have said "Yeah, no."  But since it was brought up a little at a time over a period of years, everything in Lumsie's history ended up getting played out in game.

You will have to get a feel for how often to update your character history.  If you go to events outside your home chapter and plot doesn't 'happen to you', it won't need to be updated often.  Otherwise, every three or so events where your character has plot happen is a good amount to keep it updated without becoming a nuisance to plot.  Be sure to let the plot team know what direction you would like your personal plot to head in.  They may or may not accommodate this.


4.  Do not connect your character history with current plots

Keep all organizations generic.  Let plot choose to plug it in to already existing things.   This allows them to have more creative control and no other players can get pissed at you for getting in on what they thought was their proprietary character history.  Don't try to specify levels, gear and so on for NPC's.  Don't put in too much detail - that is for plot to do if you have an idea that grabs their imagination.

If plot has published anything about the world, you can get a village name (like 'Janis Falls') to be from.

5.  Anything you write should use a minimum amount of NPC's.  If your plot stuff can get done by one person, it is much more likely to happen than if it takes three.

There was a character named "X" (he had a much longer name but everyone just called him X) who was being hunted by the sorcerer tower that had trained him for some reason.  Due to matters of honor and custom, they would only send out one guy at a time to duel him in hopes of killing him.  This was a brilliant bit of writing and only used one NPC at a time.


6.  If you want to have other PC's in your narrative, be sure to talk to them about it beforehand.  Unless it is hearsay (I heard Tempest the dragon passed this way or I saw the Drakes go through town) people may rightly object to you dragging them in to your poorly written fiction.


7.  Why are you with the adventuring party you are with now?

If the reason is mercenary, met at a pub or old family retainer, skip the background and hope the plot team comes up with something more creative than you can.

Mercenaries - not so cool as this looks.  Plus, due to safety, no actual mounts in LARPs.  Ain't that a bitch?

Side note, avoid being a mercenary at all.  The nature of the world makes nearly everyone a mercenary as it is - you are being dull.  "Oh, you need to hand me some coins to go...or I could just get my cut like everyone else."  It's annoying and over used.

Ignore this section if you are traveling alone.


8.  Don't write yourself as an evil prick.  You will be playing with these same people for years.

Lumsie was a completely evil person - but only to NPC's.  He would execute them, enslave them, turn them into undead, torture them for his amusement and taunt them.  To the PC's, he was the soul of kindness.  Back in the days of ward keys, people would often leave theirs with him knowing he would keep it safe and not burgle them.

If you play an evil person in game, people will assume you are an evil prick outside of game - even if it is subconsciously.  Since Lumsie was the kind of character who would do his best to help his fellow adventurers and was a fun person to hang out with, people assumed Logan was nice.  I've been invited to stay (and have done so) at people's homes who didn't know me but had heard of my character.


9.  Do the twist.

Old timey people doing an old timey dance.  You can use them in your character history and say they were killed by 'good taste' if you want.  You're welcome.

Lumsie's parents not dead but undead.

A good plot twist may inspire plot to actually use your stuff in an ongoing game.

The best twists are done over a period of time and should not be so convoluted as to just be confusing and ignorable.


10.  Write someone you can play for a long time.

An example of what not to do is the 'mysterious guy who sits in the corner and broods'.  Those tropes only work in the books either because they are setting the ambiance of the scene or the main characters have to go talk to them.  Being the brooding lone guy in the corner with his face hidden under a hood is only fun for the first hour.  After you realize that nobody cares it gets boring and lonely pretty quick.

I remember walking into a tavern and finding four of these guys - one per corner.  I laughed my ass off as each tried to out brood and out sinister the others.  Nobody else noticed or cared.

Avoid is using a published character history as your own.   Years ago, we had 'Link' from 'Legend of Zelda' playing.  He'd pretty much just copy-pasted the whole history.  It's good for a chuckle and that's about it.  Do you want to play a stale joke for a few years?

Some plot teams won't allow the remarkably uncreative to steal names from popular media.  If you can't think of a name, grab a Scrabble game and give it a good shake.

I'm no longer allowed to play scrabble with children.  Or adults.

11.  Write it like a TV show.

If a character story arc isn't finished in three events, chances are it never will be.  Realize this limitation and write for it.

Just like your narrative, your goals should also be updated as you go.  Good plot teams may also come up with additional goals they see in keeping with your character.


Derek J - an expert LARPer and chapter owner - also adds:

Sadly, most character histories are just bad, if not completely wrong for the campaign that the player is introducing it to. It is best to work with a plot member that you think is skilled at creating interesting stories to aid you in writing your history. If you have a history already, work with a plot member to integrate it.

Do not just write a history and submit it to plot without working with them to integrate it into their game. Do some follow up on their thoughts of your history, how it can be reflected in the game, and how your character can become intertwined in the history of the campaign. Character histories are not a one way conversation from player to plot.


LARP biography:

Logan has played NERO for over a decade and has done more events than he can remember.  He has played NERO on more than one continent.  During his time in NERO, he has run rogue plot, assisted with many aspects of running events, written four in game books and compiled NERO terms from around the USA.

This picture will make sense only to some.

Logan is semi-retired from NERO and spends his time traveling the world like some sort of TARDIS-less Doctor Who.  His exploits can be read about at http://logansvoyage.blogspot.com/



TWITTER

Did you know you can subject yourself to one hundred and forty character rants from Logan?  His Twitter handle is Logan9a.  Go follow him there if you want to hear random short crap which spews forth from his gob.  At the time of this writing, he has done over nine hundred tweets, mostly to various celebrities who have no way of defending themselves from it.

EUROPEAN INVASION: LIVE AND STAGGERING

EUROPEAN INVASION:  LIVE AND STAGGERING

A huge thank you to Carolyn N. and all the other people who worked on the title of this 'Home Invasion' tour name!!

For those who don't keep up with me on Facebook, this massive tour through Europe will be kicking off on August 1st.

It's looking like seven countries (one of which I've not spent any time in before!) and I'll be staying with a lot of friends.  Epic fun coming up.

But until then, honestly, not a lot is going on.

In Plovdiv, Bulgaria I'm just burning time hanging out in a very nice apartment (with it's own washing machine) and bitching about the shoddy state of video games and shows from the TV.  Although I despise watching television itself, I do obtain commercial free shows and watch them on my computer.

Doesn't make for outstanding blogging.

Until either something interesting happens here or the journey starts, don't expect a lot of space filling blogs.



MORE ON AMERICANS AND CELCIUS

By Joseph Osborne

For the benefit of Logan's non-American readers, he is correct, Americans don't arbitrarily hate the Celsius scale. . .they just get frustrated with trying to mentally convert it or figure it out. They are raised on Fahrenheit, so they don't know what those numbers mean, and sometimes try to do vague conversions or estimates in their head and get confused or frustrated.

Why the US hasn't adopted Metric is something you could write books on. Really short version: the process was beginning in the 1970's, but it got politicized and Ronald Reagan's administration hated the Metric system so they actively stopped any metrication in the US. Since then there's been no real government or cultural drive to adopt it. It's been slowly leaking in some places, such as beverage packaging in liters and milliliters, but it still has strong opposition in some corners who see it as a partisan political issue and somehow unpatriotic to use.

Also, in the spirit of his Celsius guide, I give you an adaptation of that. Celsius as it applies to Kentucky weather:

40 = Hottest days of summer. Everyone knows it's hot, and everyone is complaining. Will probably be like this for a few days in July or early August.
30 = Normal summer midday temperature. Its kinda hot, we're used to it.
20 = Nice fall or spring day, or a very mild summer day. Everyone is talking about what a nice day it is.
10 = Chilly early Spring or late Fall day. Wear a coat.
0 = Typical winter day.
-10 = Cold Winter Day. Wear gloves and a scarf in addition to your coat.
-20 = Coldest Night of the Year, will be like this on some nights in January or February. Leave the faucets on a bit so the pipes don't burst.
-30 = Equivalent to all time record low temperature recorded around here.

Thanks Joseph!



BARBERS

Outside of India, Bulgaria I got the cheapest shave ever.

According to a barber I spoke with, Bulgarian barbers do not offer straight razor shaves because Bulgarians are too 'macho' (his word) to shave.

I was able to get a machine shave for 2 LEV.

That's approximately $1.14.  They don't expect to be tipped either.

And people say "Why don't you want to lug a heavy electric trimmer around?"



CLASSY

The next time you want to impress your friends with a scholarly quote, wait till they say something (doesn't matter what) and say "Well, you know what Sir Thomas Beecham said..."

(Give a second as they wonder who the hell it is then continue.)

"Always try everything once except for incest and folk dancing."

Then sit back and grin at them like a maniac.

Since it was a quote of a knight of the realm, that makes it classy.

And here is a link to it so you don't think I'm just making shit up.     Now, go be classy to your friends or boss!



DRUNKEN RAMPAGE

For those who want to see my drunken posts of 140 characters or less harassing the rich and famous, my handle on Twitter is Logan9a.



AN INVITATION

If YOU (yes, you) have an article you want to put into the blog, let me know.



VIDEOS I FORGOT I'D MADE

These are from Indonesia - the small island:

Julias
Norma 1
Norma 2  (Why do I have two?  Who knows.  My eventual editor can sort it out or make a montage.)



COSTS

Meal - about 6-12 lev depending on what you want.
Beard trim (machine, not straight razor), 2 lev.
Plastic bottle of boot leg wine, 6 lev.
Glass bottle of legal wine, 12 lev.