Wednesday, November 19, 2014



After living for a couple weeks in a house sized compound within South Africa, I can say this may be the most paranoid country I've ever resided in.

Just as in the USA buying a house that didn't have window screens would be highly suspect, buying a house without an electrified fence, spikes and other defenses in South Africa is simply not done.

In the USA, having your windows open would let in the bugs.  In South Africa, it would let in thieves and murderers.  Which seem to be common.  Or at least thought of as common.

Typical home

Everyone has a story about a friend of theirs who was carjacked, robbed, shot and so on.  If someone wants your cell phone and pulls a screwdriver on you, you'd better hope it is the right model or they may stab your ass anyway.

A couple blocks from nice homes hidden behind loads of defenses are shanty towns which utilize the age old corrugated metal roofs and walls made from mud, shit and snot.

There are certain directions I've been repeatedly cautioned not to walk toward unless I want the 'full South African experience' - which includes getting robbed then stabbed.

At some point, I'm hoping to interview people (on camera) about this interesting and extremely diverse country.


I improperly called it a 'transvestite party', it was actually a 'drag party'.  There are a lot of little nuisances I am not yet familiar with.

Who says Logan doesn't admit when he is wrong?


Well, I can't say I've never been on South African TV any more.

Before everyone says "We want to see it" please read the story below.

My wonderful host Guy took me to his work.  He'd gotten permission for me to sit through the creation of what I would term a 'corporate TV show'.  In other words, something for people of a particular company to watch.

It was quite interesting to see the TV show put together from the control room.

Also got to see a couple people 'melt'.  Another way to put it kindly would be to say 'they were very uncomfortable on camera'.  There were also a couple people who 'worked' the camera.  Very interesting.  None of them were professionals, they were corporate.

Found it fascinating.

Compared to American studios of which I have no experience I've been told the South African variety is very small and budget conscious.

After a lunch (payment for my upcoming debut) I got to play the part of a 'security specialist' who was talking about how and why people do piracy in an effort to stop it.  Ironic, considering.

Although I've been told this show will go out all over South Africa, I was playing the 'informant' part - darkened room, voice distortion and so on.  I was instructed not to be 'too animated'.  Hence, they didn't really get the full "Logan experience".

It was my first experience  with the autocue.  That is the 'teleprompter' which shows you what you should be saying.  Guy seemed happy with my reading and we didn't have many takes.  Pretty much when I messed up, I'd just pause for a couple beats then do it again.  A couple days ago I got to see how things are edited and figured that would be easy for the editor to splice together.

We'll see if Guy comes up with something in the future for me to do which we could put up a youtube clip so people can see what Logan looks like on South African TV.

After the filming I got to go have a long chat with their editor.  She was very nice and excellent at conversation.

Overall, it was quite a nice day and for that I must again thank my host, Guy.

While all of this was going on, I kept thinking "How many tourist to South Africa get to have THIS kind of amazing experience?"

I am one lucky fucker.


You hire someone under contract to paint for you for a year.  After a year, the contract is up and you let the person go.  A couple weeks later, you realize you need something else painted and hire someone else.

Then you get sued by the person who use to work for you and taken to court.  Why did you not hire them back?

In the USA, the employed usually have no rights at all.  That's on one end of the scale.  Here, the amount of worker 'protection' they have makes me think a) why would anyone ever consider hiring someone here and b) it is probably cheaper to just have the person killed rather than pay an extra six months salary after getting sued because you let them go.

But wait, there's more!

In South Africa, the people who clean your home, garden and so on are simply termed 'domestics'.  Living in shantys (aka shanty towns made from corrugated metal and snot) they make under twenty USD per day.

And they damned well better get a muther fucking bucket for Christmas or there will be 'trouble'.  Serious trouble.

They will become surly.  They will complain to the organization that (over) protects workers.  They will whine for money.  They may even get legal action going against you.

What is this 'bucket'?

It is literally a bucket full of non perishable food.  Because this is so fascinating (and demeaning) I got a picture of it which includes the price and contents.

Here's yer bucket, bitch.  Now, STFU.

Wow, it was a bit of culture shock to me.


Bucket to keep your poor workers off your back, about $25

1 comment:

  1. You know... I can't help but feel you blogging about it will somewhat undermine their efforts to protect your identity...



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