AND OVER TO UKRAINE
I wasn't feeling particularly good on the day I left. Upset stomach and all of that.
The people on British Airways were kind enough to let me destroy the first class restroom. I've never been a fan of contortions but fat people on airlines...
Arrived in Kiev, Ukraine. It was about then I realized I'd totally forgotten to research to find out where to go.
Just touched down in a city - no schedule, no hotel reservations. What would you do?
I said 'Fuck it'. Go with the flow.
Went to the information desk. "What's the bus into the city?"
"Bus three two two." She had me repeat it to make sure I got it. Went outside and asked around. Found the bus. It had no numbers on it and nobody knew what I was talking about. "City?" Da. Cool.
Got on it.
Always ignore or politely get rid of any taxi drivers within the airport unless you are in really unusual circumstances. They are there to rip you off. Since I'd arrived during normal business hours (close to noon, two PM something like that) the bus was fine.
Got on it, paid my $4 and sat back to see where I'd end up.
Main train station. My escape. Cool.
While there, I picked up a Ukraine sim card. It was cheap enough that I've already forgotten how much it costs. Now I have internet, ho ho ho.
Looked up a hostel, found one that looked pretty good just a few blocks from the train station. Drug my baggage over there and - it's closed down awhile ago. Just nothing to change it on the internet. Questioned the locals, even talked to the lady who bought the place. My Russian still sucks horribly but I am starting to remember what little I know of it.
Hostels are often fly by night places.
Eventually, I found a place that offered a really horrible shared room for $4 and a solo room that you couldn't open the door all the way for $12 and a larger miserable room that had it's own bathroom and stank for $22. After staying there for a night, I determined that it would not do to stay there for a week or ten days while the US Embassy worked out my passport woes.
Went exploring early the next morning. Never book a place for multiple nights when you first get somewhere if you have time - get up early and try to upgrade your situation.
Checked out a chain (Ibis) which wanted $70 to $90 per night. In Ukraine. Crazy, crazy.
Went to a fancy hotel and bargained the price down to $34. It's more than I can really afford (price started at $50 and it is 'high season') and eventually I may move to a place Sergey suggests well away from the city center which costs $23, but for right now, this will do.
So on day two I got a $4 taxi out to the embassy - which was closed.
I'd forgotten the second biggest holiday in all Slavic countries, May Day.
Those who watched old footage of the Cold War (which I lived through and even worked in) will recall big military parades when missiles would replace the Soviet leader's penis and be rolled out for inspection. That May Day.
Still a big thing, apparently.
Well, shit.
So now it is Monday. I have been told to try back on Wednesday. Maybe they will be open and back then. Cool.
I hate staying at expensive places and I'm not much into Kiev either. Looking forward to visiting my friends here then GTFO back to Lviv and then checking out Uzhhorod.
In conclusion, it is possible to land on your feet traveling by the seat of your pants - but the more expensive of country you are in the riskier it is. I would never do this in an expensive country.
TTRPG OLD WAR STORY
One of the stories I like to tell is about a newbie vampire (not a bright player at all) who shifted into a wolf - and fumbled the roll.
Me: "Good news and bad news - you've shifted into a wolf but you're stuck like that for the adventure."
Him: "No problem!"
And it wasn't - until he came up with what he thought was a brilliant idea and wanted desperately to communicate it to the rest of the party.
Party: "What's the matter, boy? Is little Timmy trapped down the well?"
Him: "I want to write with a stick in my mouth!"
Me: "Tell you what - you're in a super unfamiliar form. It's really awkward for you. But I'll make you a deal. You can stick a pencil in your mouth and write in the dirt outside. If any of the players can read it, then your character can seamlessly communicate."
The other players were of no help, rolling in laughter and suggesting the wolf try 'interpretative dance' to communicate. No - the stick didn't work.
OLD EGYPT STORY
Desert story. OK - this is a real life story (maybe it can be used in a game) that happened to me back in the early 90's.
I was in Egypt with two fellow travelers. Two of us had decided that the anal ways of the third traveler were getting to us and if he died, we were strangely comfortable with that.
At that time (maybe now, didn't try last time I was in Egypt) it was possible to ride horses in the literal shadow of the pyramids.
The guy renting the horses asked us about our horse riding skill. I told him I'd ridden a bit - while no expert I was comfortable on a horse. My friend Mustafa had never ridden before but was agile. The other guy we were thinking about maybe killing (I hadn't mellowed back then) Hunter claimed to be a 'great rider'.
So we got on the horses and were ambling along. Mustafa seemed comfortable and he asked the guy in Arabic (he was fluent) if it were possible to make the horses go faster.
The horse master renter guy had a stick with a bit of string tied to it and a knot on the end of the string. He flicked it and I swear, it sounded like a gunshot. No idea how.
Suddenly, the horses were at a full gallop. I enjoyed it (fuck cantor, walk or gallop are the only good speeds) - Mustafa had his arms spread way too wide clutching the reins but seemed to be doing fine.
Hunter was obviously uncomfortable at this speed. He attempted to slow down the horse by giving it plenty of reign, moving his weight a bit forward, lowering his head and lifting his rump. In short, things a jockey wanting to win the Kentucky Derby might.
Mustafa and I both began chanting 'die' as Hunter's saddle began to be displaced with the weight as Hunter began to slide off the right of his horse. Big, head sized rocks zipped by. Eventually, the horse became so overbalanced with the 'great rider' it had to slow down.
Mustafa and I were both disappointed. At that point, Hunter decided that traveling by himself to a different continent might be better. Everyone was happy.
I wasn't feeling particularly good on the day I left. Upset stomach and all of that.
The people on British Airways were kind enough to let me destroy the first class restroom. I've never been a fan of contortions but fat people on airlines...
Arrived in Kiev, Ukraine. It was about then I realized I'd totally forgotten to research to find out where to go.
Just touched down in a city - no schedule, no hotel reservations. What would you do?
I said 'Fuck it'. Go with the flow.
Went to the information desk. "What's the bus into the city?"
"Bus three two two." She had me repeat it to make sure I got it. Went outside and asked around. Found the bus. It had no numbers on it and nobody knew what I was talking about. "City?" Da. Cool.
Got on it.
Always ignore or politely get rid of any taxi drivers within the airport unless you are in really unusual circumstances. They are there to rip you off. Since I'd arrived during normal business hours (close to noon, two PM something like that) the bus was fine.
Got on it, paid my $4 and sat back to see where I'd end up.
Main train station. My escape. Cool.
While there, I picked up a Ukraine sim card. It was cheap enough that I've already forgotten how much it costs. Now I have internet, ho ho ho.
Looked up a hostel, found one that looked pretty good just a few blocks from the train station. Drug my baggage over there and - it's closed down awhile ago. Just nothing to change it on the internet. Questioned the locals, even talked to the lady who bought the place. My Russian still sucks horribly but I am starting to remember what little I know of it.
Hostels are often fly by night places.
Eventually, I found a place that offered a really horrible shared room for $4 and a solo room that you couldn't open the door all the way for $12 and a larger miserable room that had it's own bathroom and stank for $22. After staying there for a night, I determined that it would not do to stay there for a week or ten days while the US Embassy worked out my passport woes.
Went exploring early the next morning. Never book a place for multiple nights when you first get somewhere if you have time - get up early and try to upgrade your situation.
Checked out a chain (Ibis) which wanted $70 to $90 per night. In Ukraine. Crazy, crazy.
Went to a fancy hotel and bargained the price down to $34. It's more than I can really afford (price started at $50 and it is 'high season') and eventually I may move to a place Sergey suggests well away from the city center which costs $23, but for right now, this will do.
So on day two I got a $4 taxi out to the embassy - which was closed.
I'd forgotten the second biggest holiday in all Slavic countries, May Day.
Those who watched old footage of the Cold War (which I lived through and even worked in) will recall big military parades when missiles would replace the Soviet leader's penis and be rolled out for inspection. That May Day.
Still a big thing, apparently.
Well, shit.
So now it is Monday. I have been told to try back on Wednesday. Maybe they will be open and back then. Cool.
I hate staying at expensive places and I'm not much into Kiev either. Looking forward to visiting my friends here then GTFO back to Lviv and then checking out Uzhhorod.
In conclusion, it is possible to land on your feet traveling by the seat of your pants - but the more expensive of country you are in the riskier it is. I would never do this in an expensive country.
TTRPG OLD WAR STORY
One of the stories I like to tell is about a newbie vampire (not a bright player at all) who shifted into a wolf - and fumbled the roll.
Me: "Good news and bad news - you've shifted into a wolf but you're stuck like that for the adventure."
Him: "No problem!"
And it wasn't - until he came up with what he thought was a brilliant idea and wanted desperately to communicate it to the rest of the party.
Party: "What's the matter, boy? Is little Timmy trapped down the well?"
Him: "I want to write with a stick in my mouth!"
Me: "Tell you what - you're in a super unfamiliar form. It's really awkward for you. But I'll make you a deal. You can stick a pencil in your mouth and write in the dirt outside. If any of the players can read it, then your character can seamlessly communicate."
The other players were of no help, rolling in laughter and suggesting the wolf try 'interpretative dance' to communicate. No - the stick didn't work.
OLD EGYPT STORY
Desert story. OK - this is a real life story (maybe it can be used in a game) that happened to me back in the early 90's.
I was in Egypt with two fellow travelers. Two of us had decided that the anal ways of the third traveler were getting to us and if he died, we were strangely comfortable with that.
At that time (maybe now, didn't try last time I was in Egypt) it was possible to ride horses in the literal shadow of the pyramids.
The guy renting the horses asked us about our horse riding skill. I told him I'd ridden a bit - while no expert I was comfortable on a horse. My friend Mustafa had never ridden before but was agile. The other guy we were thinking about maybe killing (I hadn't mellowed back then) Hunter claimed to be a 'great rider'.
So we got on the horses and were ambling along. Mustafa seemed comfortable and he asked the guy in Arabic (he was fluent) if it were possible to make the horses go faster.
The horse master renter guy had a stick with a bit of string tied to it and a knot on the end of the string. He flicked it and I swear, it sounded like a gunshot. No idea how.
Suddenly, the horses were at a full gallop. I enjoyed it (fuck cantor, walk or gallop are the only good speeds) - Mustafa had his arms spread way too wide clutching the reins but seemed to be doing fine.
Hunter was obviously uncomfortable at this speed. He attempted to slow down the horse by giving it plenty of reign, moving his weight a bit forward, lowering his head and lifting his rump. In short, things a jockey wanting to win the Kentucky Derby might.
Mustafa and I both began chanting 'die' as Hunter's saddle began to be displaced with the weight as Hunter began to slide off the right of his horse. Big, head sized rocks zipped by. Eventually, the horse became so overbalanced with the 'great rider' it had to slow down.
Mustafa and I were both disappointed. At that point, Hunter decided that traveling by himself to a different continent might be better. Everyone was happy.
