SO WHAT'S UP WITH BURMA?

WORKING UP TRAVEL PLANS

Right now I'm upset with the Chinese government. Apparently, they're still feeling a bit touchy from having taken over Tibet. This means you have to get 'special travel permits' to go through Tibet. The only way you can get these special travel permits is to go through a travel agency. You can't buy just the travel permit. Oh no. You must book a vehicle AND a driver AND a guide! I can't afford all that shit. So, I'm working on figuring out a way to get from SE Asia over to Tibet, preferably without flying.

It might be possible to do a very wide swing all the way around the Tibetan 'issue' and then come in from the north into India and circle back to get to Nepal. But it looks like a serious amount of ground to cover and having traveled a lot, I know what that means. Also, China and India don't seem to get along well - I'm not sure if there would be a place to legally cross the border there.

I decided to do some research by actually going to the Chinese consulate and asking questions. They had a couple clerks who may have been hired more for looks than any sort of critical thinking skills. They were certainly not hired for their English speaking ability though they did have some. After talking to them (and making notes, and pictures, and hand signs) for awhile the story I pieced together was not good. Despite Vietnam and China actually sharing a border which does allow traffic, tourists cannot get in that way. They are required to fly in. The way you get your ticket is to go buy an airplane ticket then bring it to the Chinese consulate. The visa is issued only for the duration of the stay in China with 30 days being the absolute maximum. What a gyp.

So, fuck that. I may in the future figure out some clever way into China or meet up with a diplomat who is happy to help me out getting in. Don't laugh - I've met the brother of a Nigerian diplomat already who offered to help me get into the country but that's a ways off.

I'm thinking about going back to Cambodia. Hopefully the 'squirting' sensation I experienced most of the time I was in Phnom Phen won't be affecting me in the town of Kampot. I've read they have $5 guest houses I can 'lie low' in and may do so for a month or two while the winter wears off.

Apologies for my Russian friends who are currently freezing their asses off, especially the ones that live in Siberia. I'll say the same thing to you that I did in person. "Move." Negative fifty Celsius? Who puts up with that?

Anyway, while I'm having a long sit in Kampot I will think about what to do next. It is possible that I will get bored and go to other places in Cambodia. It is also possible I will try to escape to India and Nepal. To be honest, I still need to do some research into those to make sure that the places I can stay are massively cheap. I need to save a ton of money. Who knows - if I find a place that 'doesn't suck' I may stay there for a year to save money.

We'll have to see what I find and find through research.

I've noticed that the type of research I've started doing has changed substantially from when I had started the trip. Here is what I'm doing now. In the under developed countries, only the really expensive places use things like hostelworld.com and such. The places I'm wanting to use never would find their way into that. Hell, even the Burma embassy can't keep a working e-mail address. Yeah, I did try to e-mail them. Anyway, I've been checking wiki travel to find out what kind of price range I find under the budget 'sleeping'. After that comes the part that will make my travel mentor Adam yell 'What the fuck is the point then' and possibly vomit in rage. I look under the budget eating places listed to find out what kind of foreign (to them) food they have. I've discovered that I'm not a big fan of (for example) Vietnamese food. Sure, I could eat it once a week or so. Same with Cambodia or Lao food. Thailand food, say three times a week. A significant amount of eating. But I do like variety. The major type of food I've been eating in Vietnam I would classify as 'shitty Mexican'. Not great by any stretch, but I like it better than Vietnamese food and it's not too much more expensive. When I started my trip, I would always try to eat the food of the country that I'm in but my attitude on this has softened substantially. After eight months I'm to the 'fuck it, eat what I feel like eating' rather than trying to keep the moral high ground of eat like a native. I don't like a lot of what they eat - why punish myself? So if a town I'm thinking about going to doesn't have a lot of food I'm wanting to eat, I'm not going to be going to visit for a prolonged period of time. If at all. Yes, I realize that wiki travel has only a sliver of what is actually there but it does give at least a hint of things to come.

I'm not sure about Indonesia and the Philippines. I had been thinking about going that way but island hopping isn't going to help me save money and they do have some really expensive resorts down there so I'm not sure if that's the way to go. Right now, all I'm interested in is saving some money while being reasonably comfortable so I can work on my book.



SO WHAT'S UP WITH BURMA?

After some fairly exhaustive web research I've done on line, this is what I've come up with. "It's a shithole, avoid it." Apparently, land entry is verbotten (forbidden) unless you are just visiting the town itself for a visa run. Since a lot of the countries in SE Asia make you go out to extend the visa. Why? Because of bureaucratic shenanigans. Some of Burma's borders are closed. If you are able to get in there, you need to hire a mandatory 'guide'. They have terrorists blowing stuff up. This is because the military was in charge, some elections happened that people say were rigged and at the end to everyone's huge surprise the military was still in charge. Quite surprising. It would be quite impossible for me to enter the country through one border and exit through a different one, hence making it useless to me. Despite these obvious 'what the hell is wrong with this picture' and a hefty amount of bureaucratic bullshit to get into the country, the government is claiming on their webpage they want a lot of tourists this year. Want in one hand...

So, it's looking like Burma has taken itself off of the table. I'm not sure about their neighbor Bangladesh. More research required for there.



WHERE I'M AT NOW

Right now, I am staying in a building that would qualify as a 'guesthouse'. It's $12 per night. I have hot water showers and air conditioning. The room is of decent size. They provided me with two chairs (my fat ass broke the first, just like Adam's toilet seat) and the second probably isn't far behind. It's decent. I went looking for a new place though because I'm not real comfortable here. The reason isn't because I have to walk down a couple floors any time I want to go outside to smoke - I can live with that. I walk a ton anyway - it's just more exercise sorely needed. I don't like it because a very extended family lives here. It's literally their home. So, I get to hear them argue loudly with each other. Wander by them when they are in partial states of undress in the main room which is the only exit to the street. For those who think that sounds good, let me just say that seeing an eighty year old pair of breasts trumps any cold shower. I get to hear babies cry. Other places have yappy dogs. Before I did some fairly serious traveling, I had sort of a romantic view of 'home stays'. Now, I think "Christ save me from this." Most places I've stayed in it is not the guests which are loud and obnoxious. It is the people who work there - or worse yet live there. They are the ones with the loud pets or who like talking loudly on skype or playing music. Just give me silence where I am staying and I'm happy. Yes, the party hostel is an exception but if you know what you're getting into when you go there, you can live with it. But the majority of the time when I'm not hanging out with others give me silence.



VIETNAM ATMS AND BANKS

Although their currency is nearly worthless, they don't let you take much out of an ATM. 2M VND seems average with a few machines peeking at 4M. That's not much - $200. With my ill planned bank hitting me up for a huge amount of money ($30 or so) every time I make a transaction, I try not to make small ones. Yes, I think the people who pay $1.50 per withdraw and get $20-$40 at a time are amazingly stupid. I went to a bank looking for a bigger withdraw and got hit for 4% fees. Not good - bring the money you will need for your trip to Vietnam.



WHAT'S NEXT

I've researched the area I am going to be going to in Cambodia. It's actually not that far from me. I then decided to research areas around where I am (HCMC) to see if there was somewhere else I could go hang out for a couple weeks here. Nothing looked decent. At all. So, I could stay in HCMC where I am feeling swarmed by people and touts or head across the border into Cambodia. I'm thinking I'll be going back to Cambodia. Not planning on coming back to Vietnam. The people were OK but nothing I really want here. I just want to find the kind of place that has $5 per night rooms. Maybe upgrade to a $7 per night room and get some extras. Ooooo! We'll see. I'm going to sit and ponder stuff in Cambodia unless I decide I can't stand it then I'm going to either head back to Thailand or just pop over to India. I'm not sure. If anyone has any ideas or words of wisdom, I'm interested.

Note that I'll be here at least through Thursday, possibly till Friday as my eye doctor appointment (the thing I've been waiting in HCMC for) happens on Thursday afternoon.



AMAZINGLY STUPID, BUT ENTERTAINING

Heck, that could be the name for the blog.

This bizarre video spliced from a freaky movie. Thanks to Chris C. for sending it to me.