BACK TO BANGKOK

THE AIR CONDITIONER MAN

During my brief stay in Goa, there was a small problem with the air conditioner. It dripped. No big deal. Since I try to be a good guest, I notified the owner of the place I was staying.

He called out the air conditioner repair man and his assistant. They eventually came toward evening. His assistant was friendly but spoke no English. He also didn't know how to turn off the AC with the remote. For those in suspense about how such a thing may be done, it's the big button. It's almost always the big button.

Within the air conditioner was some sort of computer chip that had the temperature displayed on it. It was working fine. I looked up to see the repairman hitting it with the point of his screwdriver. "I wouldn't do that if I was you." He looked a bit guilty (and inept) and stopped.

The air conditioner had an amazing amount of water in it. The repairman stopped the leaking by putting some gunk in it to block the leak point. Later, it leaked from a new point. I'm just glad that water plus electricity didn't equal more trouble.



A WANDERING RANT ON THE SOUTH OF INDIA

Southern India was far more expensive than northern India. In northern India, you could get a crappy place for about 200 INR and a decent place with wifi for 400-500 INR. In southern India, you could get a crappy place for 600-1000 INR and a decent place with wifi for 1500-2000 INR. Was it worth the added expense? Not to me. The food and such is cheap throughout the country. They can't really crank up the prices on that - nobody would eat there. But they can screw the tourists on lodging as there aren't a lot of other choices.

There isn't really an 'out of season' according to the people who run the hotels and such. When the foreign tourists aren't there, the Indian tourists are. Hence, any delusions I'd had about being there 'out of season'.

For anyone wanting to visit India, here is my recommendation. Start in the south. As you travel north, the trashiness will increase but the costs will dramatically decrease. If you go the other way it's going to be some bad shock. Or maybe all of this crap was just within the fine state of Goa. That's where I hit the 'get me the hell out of here' button.

I'd spent considerable time and money taking hellishly long transportation to Goa. When I got there, it was not as I'd hoped. I went around to some of the beach towns and such to check them out. Trashy and amazingly overpriced.

I figured 'I can go further south. I've heard good things about the far south. It's only a fifteen to twenty hour bus ride away." Then, I had to go up against the Indian rail system. After being sent upstairs and downstairs numerous times by people who looked liked they'd worked there forever and appeared to still not know their jobs, I discovered that if I wanted to I could get put on a waiting list. If I waited for fourteen hours, I could find out if I could take the train. I was only number eight on the waiting list. I just fucking snapped. I'd had enough. It was time to pull the plug on my Indian adventure and good riddance.

The overcrowding combined with severe incompetence and rudeness were highlighted starkly with European prices. It was time to leave the country. Being taught to assume everyone was always lying to you, the crowding, noise, begging - it all became too much after three months. A month or two would be enough for most people I think.



A RANT ON THE WIFI IN INDIA

Some people have said "It's India, you can't expect wifi. This is wrong for a couple different reasons. You should be able to expect it. The trick is that one hotel has to have it and get successful. At that point, everyone else in town will get it. The Asian business model has nothing to do with creativity and everything else to do with ruthlessly copying the crap out of what someone else has done that worked.

When I'm able to find wifi in a room costing 400 INR in northern India and can't find it at a room costing four times as much in southern India it is just because nobody has yet come up with the idea in that town.

In conclusion, you will find that either nearly all of the town (anywhere in Asia) is wifi or not wifi. Very odd.



INDIAN CUSTOMS

On local buses, they have things written like 'ladies only', 'senior citizens' and 'twelve people standing'. These are all lies and should be ignored.


Indians love their mobile phones. On the plane to Bangkok, we'd been given announcements to turn off and put away all electronic devices. Signs were lit up asking us to keep them off.

While the plane was actually lifting off from the runway, a cell phone rung and was answered. Another was dropped and skittered along the floor toward the back of the plane.



BAG WATCH

I tossed my lovely Egyptian pants due to getting the zip on zip off legs. Tossed a couple other minor things as well. The bag weight is down to 18.9 KG according to the airport scales.



FLIGHT TO BANGKOK

Although the rest of the world now allows one cigarette lighter per person, they haven't gotten that memo in India and seized it. How the people in the smokers areas within the airport got hold of lighters I don't have any idea.

Anyway, the flight from Goa to Mumbai was about $40. From Mumbai to Bangkok was about $200. I almost missed the second flight due to incorrectly reading the gate number and falling asleep briefly in front of the wrong gate. I was just that tired by the time I got there. It was hard travel and a lot of buying tickets for 'right the hell now'. In the USA, they gouge the crap out of you to buy tickets for 'right now'. Here, they seemed to cost the same price as if you'd bought them days in advance. Thank god.



LIVING IN THE AIRPORT

During my half day layover in Mumbai airport, I met two people that were living there. Both of these people had made some sort of mistakes that caused this. One guy claimed he had his benefits cut off and became stranded in the airport. He lived there, begging off of other tourists, promising to pay them back. He told me that one French girl gave him 10,000 INR. "I could not eat or smoke (drugs) enough!" he said with pride. Why people give him money is a mystery to me. He was as wacked out of it as I imagine Hunter S. Thompson would be.

The other guy was a German I met. He was drinking rum when I first encountered him and offered me some. I took a pass on it because I wanted to keep as clear of head as I could since I had to fly out. He got drunk, missed his plane and drunkenly explained to me he'd now be stranded in the airport for a couple days.



BACK IN BANGKOK

When I was in the airport, I espied a currency exchange. Being their only customer I passed over some American money and asked for bhat - the local currency in Thailand. While the lady was getting out change a bunch of Indians from the plane bellied up to the desk and began asking questions. "I'm sorry - this gentleman was here first. You'll have to wait until I am done helping him." she said. I resisted slapping the desk and yelling "HA!" to the Indian people. Christ, I was glad to get out of India. That sort of behavior (as opposed to queuing) isn't even seen as rude. I think it is, but they do it habitually.

The first night here, I was just tired. I seem to have gotten some sort of new sir-shits-a-lot stomach virus on my first night. For the last two days, I've been mostly sitting around the guest house. Tethered to the toilet on what I have begun to think of as the 'Asian diet plan'.

So now I am staying at 'Soy 1 Guesthouse' in the business district. It's not a great hostel as far as hostels go but it has a strange interesting energy about it. It's a nice break from the usual tourist area of "Kosan Road". Oddly, I ran into two people I knew from the Republic of Georgia - Beka (Georgian) and Phillip (German). I may end up traveling a bit with Phillip down the road. We'll see what happens.



HOTELS IN CALANGUTE BEACH

Not much in the way of internet here either.

Beachway Resort, AC 1200 INR, non-AC 800
Calangute Guesthouse AC 1910 INR, non-AC 1650
The Grand, 6000 INR though they dropped the price quickly to 2700 INR.
Jerry's Place, AC 1000 INR, non-AC 800
Sunflower, AC 1600 INR, non-AC 1400
Village Nook Beach Resort, AC 1500 INR, non-AC 800 INR



HOTELS IN PANAJI

The hotels there haven't really figured out that travelers like wifi. Finding it in that town is very difficult unless you're spending big money. Some notes on hotels that have no wifi:

Alfonsos, 1200 INR
Hotel Embassy Suites, AC 1500 INR
Mi-Palace, AC 1200 INR
Oravs Guest House - avoided due to early morning construction
Popeye's Guest House, 600 INR for non-AC



FUN WITH AIRPORT SECURITY

To fascinate the man with the metal detector, why not wear a metal cock ring? [No, I don't know where these thoughts in my head come from either.]



PHILOSOPHY

I was chatting to a nice lady named Shawna. She was interested in becoming a cop in England. (Note, I think it was England - I'm writing this while suffering yet another bout of 'traveler's tummy'.) One of the things I brought up was the idea of finding mentors and making connections even before beginning college. It has always baffled me that so few people bother with this. Were I interested in training in a profession, I'd try to meet and chat with people who are senior in that profession. Eventually, you may discover someone who is happy to pass along their advice. When you've reached the top of your chosen field, having keen young people seek you out for your wisdom is a boon.

And it never hurts to get a bunch of contacts and the 'good ol boy' network working for you years before your job hunt begins. When they have a stack of applications sitting on their desk from college people who have just graduated (no experience) and the application of someone that (for example) the chief of police has been mentoring for the last four years sitting on the desk whose application do you think will be taken first? Even if you don't end up working for that particular chief, the cops are notorious gossips. Word will travel on the grapevine. In fact, your mentor may just pick up the phone and have a quiet word with someone else which gets you hired - and you'll never know they had anything to do with it.

Plus too if you are on a case in years to come it could be quite handy to have friends in the forensic labs who are happy to give an 'unofficial rush' to your evidence you need to close the big case.

Or you can wait until you graduate from college and join everyone else who is rushing to do stuff they should have been doing years ago.

The main two hurdles to this seem to be work and shyness. It does take a lot of work to remember all of the names and such, but this sort of thing is for people who are wanting an actual career as opposed to a plug in hours and get money sort of job. If someone is shy, they can choose to overcome that or stay in the lower ranks. Shyness is not a disease. "Fear is just a feeling. You feel hot. You feel hungry. You feel angry. You feel afraid. Fear can never kill you." - Remo Williams.



BURMA NEWS

A few travelers have told me that Burma has a new president who has opened up the country. I'm not sure what all is currently going on there now but I've been told big changes in regards to tourism. Apparently, now you can travel throughout and across the country. More news as it comes to me.



QUOTE OF THE DAY

"Life without internet is life in prison." - Beka.



PRICES

Using the waiting room at the Mumbai airport, 60 INR. Not joking. 300 ml fanta in airport, 1 USD.



VIDEOS

Crappy Dharan Nepal room
Rickshaw travel
Shaky Travel
Shut the hell up
Tease the monkeys Darjeeling town square
Long Island Hotel
Darjeeling railway station
Happy Valley Tea Estate
Tea Tour
Tea Obsession 1
Tea Obsession 2
Toy Train in Darjeeling
Welcome to Calcutta Bitches
Cricket in India 1
Cricket in India 2
Follow up to Cricket in India
A Pousada Guest House in Panaji

ESCAPE FROM THE MOUNTAIN OF DOOM

ESCAPE FROM THE MOUNTAIN OF DOOM

Darjeeling wasn't all bad. The good thing was "I saved a bit of money" over normal India. I was renting a nightmare of a room for 250 INR. The ever wet squat toilet and the scary outside showers weren't too appealing. The room was interesting for it's collection of flying insects.

Because everything in Darjeeling is a climb up or down a steep hill, it wasn't a city I really enjoyed kicking around in. Fat, smoking people dislike hills. Yet another bout of 'traveler's tummy' didn't help either. Not wanting food at all because you are jumping for the toilet every few minutes does make for a great weight loss program. Screw exercise and eating healthy - just eat everything until something pulls the plug! It's like a wonder drug.

There was a great restaurant there named Sonam's Kitchen. The food was pretty decent but what I really liked was how little seating there was. This forced people who didn't know each other to sit together. As a result, I met a lot of great tourists. Also, the people who owned and ran the restaurant were great. I got an opportunity to hang out with both locals and tourists there.

Because of the nightmare that is Indian Rail, I got stuck longer than I anticipated in Darjeeling. The town is not nearly as cool as it looks on paper. I'd personally not wish to travel back there and would advise many places over it. I'd rather deal with the heat of the low lying areas than the extortionist prices people have begun charging to get up and down the mountain. Naturally, it costs more to get off the mountain than onto it. If you're wanting to go there to see the wonderful mountains in the distance, just forget it. The weather alternates between overcast and foggy.

Due to the influence of Ellen and Jonas, two tourists I met, I did indeed visit 'Happy Valley' tea plantation. The tea plantation I visited in Georgia was more interesting and the guide didn't hit you up for a tip afterward. We picked up another lone tourist named Eemay and went off to watch Jonas painstakingly taste tea. I recorded this and when I can get access to wifi, will upload it.

Getting train tickets in India is very complicated at times. Since all of the Indian tourists flooded into Darjeeling it became one of those times. Rather than wait for hours in line and need to bribe the officials at the train station (yes) I decided to just pay four or five dollars over the normal price and get someone else to do it. In retrospect, he did a nice job.

Because I would be traveling for thirty or forty some hours nearly in a row, I decided to go the best possible class. In India, this is 2AC. That means the bunks are two high and it is air conditioned. Below that is 3AC then 'sleeper' and after that is 'the huddled masses'. Anyone who travels last class is either desperately poor, insane or stuck with no alternatives.

I followed the advice of my travel agent. Although the train I would be taking after arrival in Calcutta left four hours later, I had my ticket booked for the following day. Trains which are four hours late are not really uncommon in India. It turns out I need not have bothered but it was a good precaution and I'm sure that sleeping at the shitty rat trap didn't hurt.

Getting off the Mountain of Doom (where Darjeeling lies) was a lot more challenge than I had thought it would be. Due to the masses of Indian tourists desparate to escape the heat of the low lands, other Indians figured it would be a great time to jack the prices of transport up. These costs are supposed to be fixed by the government but hey - this is India. Judging by how many people are constantly trying to sell me drugs, there doesn't seem to be a lot of law around. So they jacked the prices. After wandering around for a while with a young gentleman from my travel agent (who was carrying the backpack - yes he did get a tip because he didn't ask for one) it started to look like I wasn't going to make it off the mountain. Everything was full. Fortunately, I ran into two people from the Czech Republic who were even more desperate to leave than I was, Ivetta and Radim.

Sadly, they had believed their travel agent when he told them lies like leaving at noon for a five PM train would be more than enough. I first met them standing forlornly at a very crowded queue for the jeeps down. It wasn't moving because everything was full. After checking out the situation, I suggested we split a jeep. It was 666 INR each. Yes, Satan lives in TJ. Oh - I shouldn't have put in those last two words. Anyway, that got us off the mountain but was a bit more pricy than the standard 150 NRS to get up. Turns out that Ivetta was great company. Radim couldn't speak any English. Oh, it would so suck to travel without speaking English. Radim, if you're reading this, bless Google Translate and study English!

After all of the hard driving to get off the mountain and rush to the train station we discovered their train was running three and a half hours late. Yes, three and one half hours.

While we were hanging out waiting for our respective trains, I was leaving my bag in their care. I told Ivetta "If I'm not back, avenge my death!" She responded "Maybe you'll have some nice things in bag." Sounded just like Jana when she said that. It was a bit spooky - like Jana was in the train station with me, planning my doom. Maybe it will become a standard thing for all women from the Czech Republic - plotting Logan's doom.



CALCUTTA

So I took a twelve hour train ride from NJP to Calcutta. The train sleep wasn't good at all due to the crappy, irregular tracks. I spent most of the time listening to my audio books.

Calcutta was a bit more green than a lot of the cities I'd been in. But you can't polish a turd, as the saying goes. The beggars were memorable. They don't really have a 'tourist area' - it's just a normal street with a couple more hotels than average.

Most of the hotels were full but eventually I found a craptastic room for 350 INR that made me wish I had mosquito netting. There were no screens in the large windows though they had sturdy bars. I left the lights off and the fan blasting high and hoped the bugs wouldn't find me. The room was just big enough to hold two beds and a table. I had to dust off crumbs from gods know what before getting on a bed. The horrifying bathroom was right across the hall. The walls were of the "we're too cheap to build all the way to the ceiling" variety. For 1300 INR I could have gotten a double air con but again no wifi. I can say 'dump'. On the upside I discovered I really don't care if it is a cold shower when it is that hot.

I questioned Indians on why they have 'foreigner only' guest houses, hotels and such. Apparently, the foreigners complain about the Indian guests playing loud music and shouting at each other all night with the TV's blasting like they've all gone deaf. It's nice to know it's not just me.

In case you didn't guess, yeah, I was the only foreigner at this particular hotel. If you'd like to stay at a very depressing place, be sure to check out the "Tourist Inn".

The only place of some interest in the 'tourist area' is the 'Blue Sky Cafe'. It was packed with tourists. I don't know if it was because of the decent food or the air conditioning.

I did some wandering around the part of Calcutta I found myself in. I even picked up a local guide who guilted me into a 'donation for needy kids' after he had gotten me thinking he was just a friendly helpful man. Bzzt! Wrong. Welcome to India, bitches.

The British left the Indians a lot of public parks and the Indians stocked them with annoyingly persistent beggars. I have no idea why there are so many Indian tourists here, especially given the heat.



LUXURY TRAIN

Because I'd been willing to shell out extra money for comfort, I was on a pretty exclusive twenty four hour ride. I had the luck of sitting with a very cool, educated and friendly Indian family. Even the two twelve year old boys (cousins) were pretty smart. I wasn't that smart at age twelve and some of the unkind might argue I am still not. Because India is a mix of good and bad, I also had the bunk above me occupied by someone I named 'naughty monkey'. This amused the crap out of the twelve year olds. I'm pretty sure they guy spoke English also but he was wise enough not to say anything or I'd have ripped on him to his face instead of just clowning around for the kids. Yes, he was mildly rude to me at the outset so he became marked for messing with by Logan. I was thinking about Johnny Chimpo. It's Afghanastanamation!

The eleven or twelve person family group had booked their train tickets three months in advance. Since that time, the fares had gone up so the conductor collected the difference. I asked if the fares went down would they be refunded the difference? In theory, yes - but in practicality no I was told.

This was the kind of fancy train that sent by people to spray lemon scent on the floors and curtains periodically.

On all long train rides, there is usually a secret smokers area. Since it is illegal to smoke on the train, there is some sort of outlet - often the conductors room. When I inquired about it I was encouraged to smoke in the bathrooms.

Near the end of the journey, teams of railway guys began coming around with a small bowl of mints on a large tray decorated with one hundred rupee notes. This is to show what they were expecting to get as tips. Naturally, my white skin screamed 'ATM' to them and they hurried over to me. The first group got thirty rupees which they weren't happy about and put into their pocket so other people wouldn't get the wrong idea and start shelling out anything less than one hundred rupee notes. Sure, giving them sixty cents might be seen as cheap but it is most of the one dollar I've received in donations from the paypal account I linked on the main page after the readers encouraged me to go through the chore.

In my stress, agitation and urgent need to get off of the train I forgot my 'butt blanket'. This makes me sad as I've wasted about $8 USD. Bummer.



MUMBAI

I was in a foul mood due to both my twenty four hours of confinement and being shaken down for tips when I got to the sweatbox known as Mumbai. I poked around there to see what sort of lodgings were available. While it is true that a place could be gotten for 200 INR it was the kind of place you'd want to bring your own booby traps for added security to. The less throat slitty places seemed to range above one thousand for a fairly crappy place. For a decent place, you're looking at two thousand on up. It amazes me that anyone would spend that kind of money when they could be staying in Europe for that. Yes, I think Europe is better than India - especially if you have to spend the same amount of money in either.

This would go a long way toward explaining why I didn't see any other tourists in Mumbai. It is India's most expensive city. There were some interesting looking buildings and such there but since the cost of a room exceeded my total daily allowance I decided to take a pass. Unfortunate because Mumbai is the last place that has many of the consulates I need when I figure out which country I'm wanting to head for next.

Given the choice between sleazy or completely out of my price range, I chose to immediately flee and head to Goa hoping it would be better. Sure, I'd just gotten off of a twenty four hour train ride and was going to be going for another twelve but what the hell.

Something that deeply shocked me was the wild differences between prices at travel agencies ten meters apart on the street. The first was 800 INR, the second 1500 INR and the third 1200 INR. Baffling. Nothing special was offered in any of the cases other than the 800 INR bus was scheduled to leave at 7PM (which, in Indian tradition became 8PM). The really surprising thing was when I went back for my ticket they told me it will only actually be 650 INR. This shocked me. I kind of expected them to just pocket the difference. I wrote down the name in case anyone needs to book a ticket through them: Konduskar Travels Pvt Ltd. Not a great name but I was impressed. The bus itself was average but on the newish side.

The ride was a hellish twelve hours but unlike Nepal, I actually managed to nod off a few times.



GOA, LAND OF CHEAP BEER

Unlike the rest of India which taxes the crap out of the beer, Goa has chosen not to. That means the beer here is less than a dollar as opposed to over two dollars. The architecture is nice as well. I've dubbed most of the architecture in Asia as 'box of utilitarian crap' but this architecture has a bit of flare to it. And there are a lot of plants.

Since I've managed to score a room with AC and hot water, I may spend several days investigating this city as well as looking for affordable places that offer wifi. For those curious, the initial price was around 700 or 750 INR but I managed to get it down to 630 INR. I tried and tried for an even 600 INR but just couldn't do it. When I did the bargaining, I was hanging out with an English tourist named Karen. She isn't into the whole bargaining thing but seemed surprised that I got the price down. Remember, if you're not into bargaining in Asia you are into getting ripped off. Your choice.

Another note on Goa - due to the Jesuits, pretty much nothing is open on Sunday. Really - it was rough to find an open restaurant. But I did - the belly always can find food. I was chatting with the owner of the hotel who thought that in America nothing was open on Sundays. Maybe when I was a kid this was so, I informed him, but the home of capitalism always is open for business now. These days, you either have to be living in the buckle of the bible belt or some sort of backwater hicksville to not have things open on Sundays.



DEATH OF THE BAG

The strap broke. I managed to do some makeshift repairs with the cord I always carry but it is looking like it's pretty much dead. I am currently checking out new bags for a replacement. I may end up taking one I bought for 150 INR (down from 350 INR) to a tailor for some custom work such as replacing the zipper and adding pockets. I'm going to wait to see if I like it or not first.

Yes, I am sad that the bag is dead. No, I couldn't bring myself to throw out the corpse of it yet. I've had that bag for over fifteen years and I just wore it out through constant use.

Funeral services are yet to be scheduled.



WHAT TO DO, WHAT TO DO

I need to do some research to see if Sri Lanka is cheap and has anything I would like to see. The place I am definite about wanting to go is Indonesia. The tricky bit will be to find out where I wil pick up my visa. If you get a visa ahead of time, you get two months and it can be extended a further four months. Should you get a visa on arrival, you get one month extendable by only one month. And I need to see if I want to go to the Philippines. I know I don't like the cooking I've had from it in the past. What's up with all those jagged chunks of bone in stuff any way? It's like they beat the animal to death with a sledgehammer and stuck it in stew. Yech. All of my nightmares about Filipino food aside, I need to research and find out if I can stay in these countries cheaply. I don't think I'll ever be visiting northern India again but I'd like to find out where I can stay cheaply at a nice or at least decent spot. For some odd reason, I'm thinking I'll eventually end up back in the Republic of Georgia. In addition to great folks there a 360 day visa and the possibility of a job there are hard to beat. But I want to see a bit more of Asia first. I might work on getting an Indonesian visa in whatever country I end up visiting. Then again, I might just go for the visa on arrival. If I want to stay more than two months, duck out into another country to visit then get it there. I may have been (again) making it harder than it needs to be. I would feel silly working on getting a two month visa if I feel ready to leave after a month.

And I'll need to find out if it is possible to go by ship or if I'll be stuck flying in.

Something else I will have to keep an eye out for is Ramadan. This year (2012) it is July 20th to August 18th. And don't forget the week of festivals and clogged travel after it is complete! I hope to be in an extremely touristic area with my rent already pre-paid for that time and just sit still. Eating, drinking or even smoking in public during the day time are frowned deeply upon by the devout as they are going out of their minds from lack of food, water and nicotine.



MY IMPRESSIONS OF INDIA THUS FAR

In regards to the places I've been, "I Never Do It Again" (I.N.D.I.A.). It was interesting but I can live without the needless noise. It is possible to live very cheaply in India but I would like a bit better 'quality of life'. Aside from a few cool people I've met, the food is the only other thing which I love. We knew that before I came to India.



LOGAN'S PSYCHIC PREDICTIONS

When I was in Kathmandu, I prophesied that the people making the new constitution would ask for another extension. I was told this would be impossible - they were required to complete it on the date assigned after four years of extensions. None the less, I said wagging my finger, they will ask for another extension. They will do this because the people who set up the committees for making the constitution were not as clever as I. In the original contract, they'd find that their pay would keep getting reduced until they owed the government money after a few extensions. When people are faced with not getting paid much they will suddenly get it done.

In the "Indian Express" (May 25, 2012) the people working on Nepal's constitution asked for a three month extension.

HA.

Sadly, for the people of Nepal this will mean a lot more strikes. I also predict a 20% chance of a civil war. This percentage may rise if the people start other things which will provide markers they are building up to it. As to what this will do to Nepal's tourism, the phrase 'no lube' comes to mind.



LANGUAGES

I wish to god I was smarter and could retain more but these are the languages I can still remember two words or more in. Note the only one (aside from some English) I can have a bit of a conversation in is German. If I could speak all of these fluently, I'd be a happy camper. And I'd have 'badass' printed on all of my t-shirts.

Arabic
Bosnian/Croatian/Serbian (all the same language but with different names)
Cambodian
Chinese
Czech
French
Georgian
German
Hebrew
Hindi
Japanese
Korean
Nepali
Russian
Thai

The truly sad thing is that there may be others I forgot I can speak. When I get into the country (or speak with it's people) some of it percolates back up. But actually learning a language is rough. A bit too rough for me but with the useful languages (ie spoken in three or more countries) I do try to put a bit more effort into it. I decided to make a list more for myself to look back on.



PRICES

Happy Valley tea, 100g 225 INR on up to five times that price, depending on which 'flush' and so on.

Vegetable au gratin (yum), 175 INR
Plain rice, 48 INR
Soda, 18 INR

Shared taxi off the Mountain of Doom (Darjeeling, Land of Thunder, sits atop it), 2000 INR. Wowza.

Lunch for three at a decent air conditioned restaurant in the train station including sodas, 460 INR.

Tuk tuk charge for about half an hour of riding, 180 INR.

DARJEELING

NARRATIVE

While I was in Dharan, I met up with a bright young man named Ashok who I spoke of in the previous blog entry. He warned me to be careful of which man I chose for the rickshaw. If the man looks slick and has earrings and such, he is to be avoided as he may try to rob me en-route.

Damned if it didn't happen.

I had flagged down some rickshaw driver and another slicker younger man tried to muscle in on it. The old guy looked pretty whipped by life and just kept his head down hoping to be able to eventually feed himself. I was starting to wonder if yelling 'Look, just fuck off' to the young guy was needed when the creepy guy who did my laundry at the guest house popped up. Damned if he didn't make good. He got rid of the young guy. I rode with the old guy without incident. Pretty happy about that.

It was a long, twisted road I took traveling from Kathmandu, Nepal to Darjeeling, India. I don't recommend making that trip.

On the way to the border, I had to take a rickshaw from Dharan. Normally, that would be a quick and easy taxi ride. Since there was a strike, nobody wanted to risk having their taxi set on fire for violating the strike.

I met up with a Christian. There is nothing that is more of a menace than a convert. He wanted to take me home to pray with him, his wife and child they were working on brainwashing. I turned it down. "Have you heard of Jesus?" No, I've managed to live all of my life in America without once coming across that name. What the hell is up with these religious Zealots?

After a lengthy series of rickshaws and microbuses I made it to within four kilometers (an easy rickshaw ride) of the border to India.

For those curious, my route was Bivatnejar to Jogbani to NJP to Siliguri to Darjeeling. Yes, you can bitch about how they're spelled but the towns are often spelled differently depending on which map you look at and so on.



REFLECTIONS ON NEPAL

After Rajistan India it was a welcome and most needed break. The vast majority of Nepali people were friendly and good humored. I like that. That being said, they have a very fucked up non-government government which is full of - if the people I spoke to are to be believed - a lot of people busy lining their own pockets. That sort of behavior does fit in with what I call the 'Asian business model'. It's sad. I'd have stayed around and gotten some more visits to towns were it not for the impending failure of the constitution to be done by it's latest deadline. There are a lot of 'pre-clusterfuck strikes' which will be happening. After the constitution, a lot more to follow is my guess. It's not a good time to visit Nepal.

The strikes make it extremely difficult to travel. Personally, I don't like traveling out at night when I can help it and the strikes have shut down transport during the day. It feels a bit like the original 'Terminator' movie in which the humans could only go out at night because the evil human killing robots never discovered thermal imaging. (If Skynet goes on line, don't tell them.)

If you as a tourist are thinking about going to Nepal, go for the outdoor activities. If you are not into things like hiking, paragliding, bungee jumping and so on, Nepal isn't really for you. Be advised that none of this stuff - even the trekking - is not cheap. Yes, there is nice scenery but they charge you to see it and everything costs more as you increase in altitude.

Kathmandu has plenty of 'creature comforts' but little 'tourist candy'. Three days should suffice. Bhaktapur is worth a visit. For white water rafting, be sure to visit the folks I mentioned earlier in previous blogs for the most safety stuff.

For my experiences, Nepal costs about the same as India.

Would I go back? Only for the people. The rest is either meh or I didn't visit initially due to either lack of interest or cost.



BORDER TOWNS

Border towns are generally scabby places and the one I was in was no exception. The part of Nepal I was in had become 'south east Asia hot'. Go outside, boom, you're covered in sweat.

Since my Indian visa states that I have to be out of the country for two months before I return - and I wasn't - I thought reentry would be more difficult. It wasn't. In fact, I ended up having tea with the superintendent of the security guards. Yes, one of his subordinates not under his watchful eye did make a hand gesture for wanting a small bribe but since he'd already given me the paperwork I needed to take back to his boss, I acted real dumb and he had to either spell it out or give up. He gave up.

The superintendent was super nice to me. He even assigned one of his men to take me over to the currency exchange I'd missed on the way there. That was great since I needed to exchange a fairly large amount of cash. I'd recently made a withdraw in Nepal so had what amounted to a small (very small) fortune on me. I wasn't at all happy to be doing this business at a counter on the street. I think I'd have felt better letting the man just examine my penis rather than have all of the other customers look at my wad of cash and think "If I just kill this fat man, all this wealth could be mine!" At least if they were looking at my dick they'd think "No threat." (If you didn't think the Logan's Voyage blog would stoop to dick jokes, be sure to read the back issues.)

The man who got sent with me also helped me weed out dubious bills to make sure I got only the best bills. This is important when changing money. If a bill doesn't even look like the others, reject it and get a new one. Same if there is any damage to the bill.

I got a picture with the superintendent and he got one with me. Sadly, getting a picture with his other men was prohibited though I'm not sure why.



INTO INDIA (AKA 'ONCE MORE INTO THE BELLY OF THE BEAST')

Trains in India are much better than buses in Nepal. Sadly, just like some of the buses, you often end up near someone who smells like they shit themselves. There is always the asshole who thinks you want to hear their music. I must admit that I wish I had a recording of cats having sex I could put on any time I hear Indian or Nepali music. It sounds as appealing to me. I'd have liked to pay more than 17 IRS for a seat but it was what was available - general third class seating. You never want anything other than 'AC' which is how they say first class. Ever. Really.

So the twelve hour journey I thought I was on stretched into more of a seventeen hour journey. For most of it, I had no food at all. Eventually, I wound up in a town and had a small meal praying not to get 'traveler's tummy'.

After the train, I had to take another train. I asked for 'first class' (mistake - ask for 'AC') and got third class general seating. I don't know if the guy just didn't understand, didn't care or there was no good seating left. Fortunately, I was taken in by a kindly Indian family who was crowded into the seats already. They made room. No English but I was grateful. I passed out my Nepali maps and some small (useless to me) Nepali notes (money) and they seemed happy about that. The conductor came by and they told him they were OK sitting with me. He looked at me with a look that said "Ah, an idiot tourist. No problem." I certainly felt like one.

Eventually, I got to Siliguri. From there, the only way to Darjeeling is by private (read as expensive) vehicle or by the cheaper bus. The buses had stopped running by the time I got there. At this point, my obsessive personality got the better of me. Rather than deciding to just tackle it in the morning, I decided to push on. Big, big mistake.

The normal ride crammed into a jeep is 150 IRS. For this, they toss your luggage onto the roof and get as many people into the jeep as possible. You then sit wedged in together for the next three plus hours. I'd had quite enough of being wedged in with everyone else. After over a dozen hours of constant travel I needed a break. It was time to bargain.

"I want the entire front seat. Nothing in there but the driver, my backpack and I. How much?" The man said 1500 IRS. I laughed at him and told him he was smoking crack. Eventually, he said "This is my last offer." After taking him down from that, we settled on 400 IRS.



DARJEELING, DAY 1

I had heard that "Jammu Kashmir is the Heaven of India." Believe me, when I first got here it was the opposite.

Within the vehicle, we went through a massive amount of scary switchbacks as we alternatively sped and crawled up the mountain. The road was usually wide enough for one lane of traffic. Hence, traffic moved both directions on the road even at that (for India) late hour. I'm just surprised people didn't block off parts of the road with stands selling crap. Perhaps during the daytime.

I've been into more towns than I care to remember and never had as much problem finding a place to stay as Darjeeling offered.

Everyone is at a huge disadvantage when trying to find lodging at night. Avoid it when at all possible. Eventually, I found a manager at a hotel who spoke excellent English and took pity on me. He took me to a hotel.

I stayed at Hotel Chandi, 500 IRS, that normally just housed Indian guests who could put me up for one night. If, I was to vacate by ten AM despite their normal noon checkout. They didn't even have any cold soda stocked despite having a restaurant in the hotel. If you don't stock cold drinks - at least cold water - you are (to use an American phrase) 'leaving money on the table'. In other words, if you sell it people will buy it.

I seemed to have arrived during the two month 'high season'. Everything is booked by groups of Indians. I found out later that there are two different kinds of hotel/guest houses here. The first is 'normal' and the second is 'foreigners only'. Apparently, they don't want Indian business. Nobody seems to know why this is and I don't ask.

At 6:21AM, I was awoken by a couple of bitches who wanted to know if I wished to purchase a scarf. Only to strangle them with and leave their corpses outside of my room as a warning to others... The really sad thing was that they were only the first of the salespeople selling useless shit door to door there. I've never encountered anything like that aside from the house call whore in Laos who at least had the decency to knock softly. I woke up feeling very violent.

Since I was now wide awake (still feeling violent) I went and found a new hotel and had my stuff in it all within a half hour. Quite a difference from the previous night when I was walking around dragging the heavy pack for god knows how long.

This is "Hotel Long Island". There are several huge disadvantages. There is a common shower which is a bit of a screamer (new term - if you see it, you may run off screaming). The hours for this horrifying place are 8:30 AM till 8PM. Otherwise it is locked up. Why, I do not know. There is a squat toilet in my room and flushing is done by dumping water down it manually. Worst of all, there is no internet. It has a minimum booking time of two days so I paid for it and will spend my time looking for something else. The one and only advantage of this place is it is fairly cheap at 250 IRS per night.


My initial impressions of Darjeeling are both good and bad. It is much cooler as advertised. Joy. Some of the clouds are below where I am. The downside is that rather than build on a relatively flat area in the mountains like Kathmandu everything is built on very hilly terrain. Lugging my fat ass up and down hills is not a joyful experience.


Oddly, Darjeeling does have something called a 'mini-train'. This is a very narrow gauge train. They have little joy rides set up with it. This train is apparently nifty enough that it has been designated as a 'national heritage' thing and is given money both by the Indian as well as foreign governments. Despite this, maintenance has failed and part of the route is now inaccessible. Yes, big surprise. Anyway, you can go pretty much nowhere useful on it. It would have been a neat way to get off the mountain when the time came though I'm not sure if I'd enjoy sitting on a mini train going ten MPH for several (3?) hours.



DARJEELING, DAY 2

I'm still waiting for this town to grow on me. Thus far, I haven't found a lot of things that make this a 'comfortable' place to stay. Like a room with wifi. Reasonably priced laundry facilities. Yes, they do have plenty of wifi here but it is all in internet cafes. Not a lot of help with uploading the masses of pictures and videos I'm starting to accumulate. There are lots of warning signs around saying 'due to water shortage, doing laundry is forbidden'. Well, they're close to that though usually misspelled and badly phrased. But this is a moist climate. My 'quick dry' towel doesn't.

It's been overcast here since I've gotten here which means no spectacular mountain views. Just climbing up and down unnecessarily steep hills.

I think I'd prefer SE Asia hot.

It appears that escaping here is going to be a pretty expensive nightmare.



DARJEELING, DAY 3

Have done some exploring. It's not an easy town to learn due to the hills and all of the interesting stuff being far away from each other but I'm finally getting to know it. Although there are no mosquitoes here, there are a whole lot of flies. Because the people are Hindu, they don't like to kill things. I would but I can't catch the bastards. I am talking about flies here, not the Hindus.

The town has not grown on me.

I paid a couple nights more for my 'close to camping' crappy lodging because hey - it's cheap.

I went to check out the train station. After going up and down a few more huge hills I eventually found it. Naturally, it was open though they had 'link failure'. In simple terms, this means that although everyone else in the town is able to get the internet, their link is broken. This happens often enough they have a permanent sign for it. Not joking. When the link is down, nobody knows anything about anything. In fact, they don't even bother to sit behind the counter - they just go on very long breaks. No help. Had to turn to a booking agent. I don't like going to a travel agent for anything but this one came recommended by the locals. He even showed me the online booking prices and his mark up was pretty reasonable - 200 to 300. While this may sound to some like I am blowing a few extra dollars on tickets, the Indian rail system is a mess. They have to bribe people to give them the tickets or the employees claim there are no tickets. Things like that. Very corrupt and disorganized. Makes me wish that they'd just bring in the Germans from Deutsches Bahn to run it. Hell, they'd probably enjoy the challenge and probably put on enough extra trains to handle the huge loads. If you are booking more than one person the difficulty goes up remarkably due to the strange booking system.

After a lot (at least ten minutes) of soul searching, I decided to go first class across the country. It's going to be a couple days of hell (literally, pitchforks and everything) in the train. Don't even talk to me about the bathroom situation. For those interested in the itinerary I've paid for, I'll be going from NJP (whatever that stands for - it's a town nearby) to Calcutta. That's about twelve hours of fun and I'm arriving at 4AM. Once I arrive there, I need to find a taxi to take me to a different train station (Howah). This will be anywhere from half an hour to an hour drive. Then, I am boarding what is suppose to be a very posh train called the 'Duranto Express'. Everything including my food is covered. I then will have a wonderful twenty six hour ride. That puts me in Mumbai. The bus station is close to the train station. I will have to ask the locals where it is and get ones who will admit that it hasn't burned down, been taken over by terrorists or closed. I will then have a bus ride of unknown length and duration into Goa. The cost of the two trains totals to 4675 IRS. Pricy but about a quarter of what a flight should cost.

On the upside, the bus ride is suppose to be scenic. On the downside, I don't know if I'll be in any condition to appreciate it.



NEXT?

If I can't find what I am looking for in lodging here, I may head down to hot, hot Goa while it is well out of season. Sweat my ass off there (my visa expires 29 JULY) then go to Sri Lanka to again sweat my ass off.

I've heard a lot of conflicting reports from people. Some people are saying Goa or Sri Lanka or both are expensive. Others are saying they are not.

I'm going to go there and check for myself. If I can't find a place that I like in Goa and is cheap, I will push on to Sri Lanka. After that, the plan is Indonesia then the Philippines. After that, who knows - maybe head back to Cambodia to stew for a bit. Maybe press on somewhere else. I am running low on cheap Asian countries to hang out in. For all of the people in the Republic of Georgia, yes that is still on the menu!

I spoke to a German gentleman who lives in Bali and he said that the prices were quite low there. Good deal.



WEIGHT

Despite how much I sweat, yeah, I'm still fat as hell. Should I ever lose weight, I know a certain Dutch girl who will be thrilled. Yes, very, very thrilled. She'll be in line for some very disappointing sex.



IDEA FOR INDIAN WOMEN'S T-SHIRT

"If my parents knew I was a girl, they'd have got me aborted." Yes, sad but true. This t-shirt would provide good biting social commentary.



INDIA - COUNTERFEITING

I spoke with someone about the problem with Indian counterfeiting. According to him, the problem is caused by Islamic fundamentalists who want to undermine the economy. The counterfeits are extremely good - usually of the 500 rupee notes. They include the watermark, silver strip in the bill and so on. It is not some guys with a color copy machine. Sometimes, counterfeit bills come out of the ATM. Should you take one into the bank, they will tear it up and throw it into the trash. You've just lost that money. It is a far cry from the USA where such bills are sent to the secret service for investigation.



TRAVELER'S TIPS

"This is my lowest price." or "This is my final offer." This is my translation. "You have finally gotten them down to their first serious offer." If you don't bargain them down from this point anywhere from 10-50%, you are fucking up.


When you are carrying water during travel itself, the water will also be needed when you actually arrive at your hotel. If you are in Asia, do not trust the water out of the spigots for pretty much anything other than showering.



PITHY SAYINGS

"No pockets in shrouds." Country of origin unknown. For those unfamiliar with the word 'shroud' it's what they put a corpse into.

"Life is short - live wide." - Unknown.



REVIEW - RATNA HOTEL PVT LTD (restaurant)

The first thing I did was bargain away the 13% VAT. "I don't need a tax bill." Does anyone actually try to get reimbursed from the government for that shit? Is it ever actually paid from the smaller places? I doubt it. It's just pocketed. Yes, everything is negotiable if you don't mind walking away. The food was OK but not great. I wouldn't go back but it was a decent last meal in Nepal.



REVIEW - SAM'S FOOD CORNER, DARJEELING INDIA

Good, basic food cheap. If you are a non smoker, you won't like the ashtrays and faint aroma of lingering smoke but since I am a smoker, I did my bit and added to the ambiance. The price range of food is about 20-100 IRS.



PRICES (NRS = Nepal Rupees, IRS = Indian Rupees)

Nepali border, 24 hour internet pass, 250 NRS

Baubles from a train vendor, 10 IRS

One liter of water, 25 IRS

Laundry, 20 IRS per shirt or pants. Yes, I think they're on crack after I was having it done in Kathmandu for the equivalent of 30 IRS per kilo. I'm still working on finding a new laundry place.

Xerox of my passport to get a copy of my photo for the police, 5 IRS. Yeah, the place I am staying in is just that petty.

Transport via shared (read as packed) jeep to a town called 'NJV' or something close to that where I will have to go to catch the bloody train, 150 IRS.

MO MO'S AND BEER

The power was suppose to go out at 5 PM. Naturally, it went out at 4 PM. I am typing this by candle light with two small candles stuck to the table. It is a bit... medieval. It looks like a little alter to the great computer gods. Maybe it is...



GETTING OUT OF INDIA

I managed to get a tuk tuk near the railway station for 100 RS, a price which had the driver muttering to himself the whole trip. When you get that sort of price you know you are good at negotiating and they are desperate. The operator at my final destination, "Paul Travel" was quick to let people know that 500 RS and 1000 RS notes are not only illegal in Nepal but they can be confiscated by the authorities. By remarkable coincidence, he also had a thriving exchange where you would get the moderately painful rate of 56 RS = 1 USD. He had plenty of USD's because that is the only thing accepted for the Nepal visa. Naturally, it was Sunday the day before and all of the banks had been closed. The bus would have left well before they opened. Fortunately, I had gotten a lot of my 500's changed into 100's the couple days before. I should have done more but didn't.

On the notes - if you are going from India to Nepal then back to India, just keep the 500 and 1000 notes. Yes, it is illegal. Yes, you should have been more clever and gotten them changed to 100's. But if you didn't, just tuck them deep away so you don't pull a dumbass move and try to spend them somewhere. Despite what the money exchangers are quick to tell you, the cops don't strip search you looking for these illegal notes. In fact, they didn't even ask. And no, the money exchangers are always mysteriously out of 100 IRS notes - no percentage in it.

I waited until the other tourists left, pulled out a wad of Indian Rupees and began to negotiate the exchange rate. Don't get me wrong, I still got fucked. I just got a little lube. Again, everything is negotiable.

When I purchased the ticket from the nice lady, I asked what kind of bus it was and had been told it is a 'nice bus'. Remember, when you are paying for your bus ticket, the only thing you can be absolutely certain of is that you are paying for your bus ticket. Everything else holds as much water as US campaign promises. The bus itself was filthy, the seats didn't recline at all and contrary to what we had been told, of course they stopped to pick up other passengers aside from the tourists. I figured they would - that is their 'gravy'.

You could almost take a zombie flick and replace the zombies with beggars in the way that they assaulted the bus. Even the guys who loaded the luggage tried to get in on the act claiming a "10 rupees luggage charge". I just gave him the level look and said "There is no luggage charge" in the same tone of voice you would say "There is no spoon". He decided to go sucker someone else. It's a way to distinguish the gullible. Personally, it is not that they are trying to shake me down for less than a quarter - in India everyone is constantly trying to shake you down. It wears you out after awhile and you give into irritability.

Rupees given to beggars during my two months in India, zero.

After an extremely painful all day ride, we reached the area close to the border. The 'ass mat' blanket I'd bought is a happy thing for me.

Once the bus stopped, we were assaulted by tuk tuk drivers wanting to drive us across the border. Since I'd done my research, I told them to bugger off. I know that it is only a hundred or so meters to cross the border. Nobody who knew the actual distance would ever pay for it - especially not the large rates they were trying to get. Feed off of the tourists.

The people from the bus company tried very hard to channel me into their predetermined path. Get off the bus. See our money changer. Go to our hotel. I told him 'thank you'.

At last, he got very frustrated and said "You keep saying thank you!" I thanked him again, smiled, nodded and wandered off. Fortunately, he had other tourists he could herd around rather than chase me down the street.

I took care of everything myself. I ended up seeing an 'official' money ex changer. I don't know if he was really 'official' or not - there seem to be a lot of them - but I did get a better rate changing the last of my 100 RS notes into NRS (Nepal Rupees) than the bus company guy was giving.

The bus had only been paid to the border unlike the poor bastards who didn't do their research ahead of time and paid way too much to go all the way to Kathmandu on that bus.

I went through customs ignoring the pleas of the bus people. Sometimes, claiming to be a travel writer has a downside. I had written that on the form without really thinking about it. In other countries, I'd put things like 'circus freak'. If they asked me about it, I would say that I use to be a circus fat man but lost too much weight. Or I was the thin man and developed a taste for fried food. Or I was a ballerina. Or a shaved bear. Possibly fatigue made me put down 'travel writer'. When I checked in to see if they were done with my passport, the guy looked up and said in a coy sort of voice, "So...you are the travel writer?"

Well, shit.

Now, I have to do a bit of backtracking. Tell them I do not work for Lonely Planet. It is just a blog. I also played the gushing "Oh, I'm just so excited to be here" role with as much aplomb as I could muster being that tired. I don't think it would have won me an Emmy.

Travel writers often need extra documentation and paperwork. I'm not sure if it ended up helping or not. They gave me a three month multiple entry visa. The three months I had been expecting and paid for - the multiple entries were unexpected. For those who aren't familiar with visas, multiple entries mean you can go in and come out within the time allotted on this visa. In SE Asia it means something different. There it means your visa resets for the amount of time you'd gotten it for initially each time you go in and come out. Not in India or Nepal.

I went and found a place to get a beer (175 NRS) and some noodles (125 NRS). I really wanted to have a beer since I'd gotten out of India. I tried the 'Kathmandu' brand. It had a distinctive taste. Unfortunately, not in a good way.

The hotel room I ended up sleeping in was about as shitty of room as I'd ever seen. Dead bugs on the floor, no toilet flush handle, no toilet seat, suspicious sheets - the works. But it was dirt cheap (300 NRS) and within sight of the bus ticket office.

Feeling damned gritty after a twelve hour bus ride, I asked the manager if I could get a bucket of hot water. Apparently, bucket showers had not been left behind in India. Sad. He began to ponder if he wanted to get a bucket of hot water sent up to the room. I changed his frame immediately and said "How much rupees for a bucket of hot water?" This got him thinking in a whole new way. The question no longer was 'do I want to get this pussy a bucket of hot water', it became 'how much can I make off of this foolish tourist?'. He said 50 NRS and on general principle I bargained him down to 30 NRS. Yes, it's not really 'fair' to go for people's weak spot (money).

For anyone who has never had a bucket shower before, the bucket is large enough to hold three soccer balls or so and you need half a bucket to make it work. Get a full bucket, you have extra. Add some cold water till it gets to the appropriate temperature. I think it's a miserable way to take a shower but it gets you clean.

When I was emerging naked from the bathroom, the power cut out.

Ah ha! Blog material! First thought. Second thought was a mention of the importance of carrying flashlights. The power came back on while I was rummaging in my carry bag for one. Figures.

Local sources said the bus ticket to Kathmandu should be 300-500 NRS - significantly cheaper than the 500 IRS (Indian Rupees - 1 is 1.6 NRS) the other tourists paid for their ongoing tickets. Research pays. My ticket ended up costing 470 NRS. So, I saved a little but not a huge amount. Some people would argue that convenience is worth it. This way is if you wanted to leave up to three hours earlier. And the bus I ended up on, same comfort level but all Nepal folks and the bus was still only half full.

Buses leave from the border between 4 AM and 7:30 AM, every half hour. Who knows why it doesn't leave any later. Possibly the drivers aren't quite insane enough to go over the mountain passes in the dark - but I wouldn't put it past them...



BUS TO NEPAL

After some irritating dealing with the bus driver and ticket seller, we were off to Kathmandu. There were two 'yellers' in the bus for some reason.

We made a couple unscheduled stops. One was to get the bus blessed by a priest and the other was so that the driver (and Logan) could pee into nature. There were no women on board to be jealous of our ability to do so.

The bus made several other mysterious stops. I couldn't figure out why we stopped. There were no mechanical failures, new passengers or commerce of any sort going on. We simply would stop for awhile then go again.

As we drove through Nepal, I was shocked at how clean it was even in very busy populated areas. It's not the population, it's the mentality of the people.

The Nepalese people seen thus far seem good-natured and a bit shy around foreigners.

Nepal itself is a lot like I've always imagined South America to look. Brown natives, mountains, dry dusty towns, hideous looking buildings and nice nature. Since I've never been to South America that is all conjecture.



BUS DRIVER OF DOOM

When someone passed him or was in front of him, he took it as a personal affront. By Nepalese standards, he seemed 'extremely aggressive'. The other passengers actually looked very wary and frightened at a few of the maneuvers he did. This is another good reason to sit at the back of the bus. What you don't see coming won't scare you to death. Yes, the impact will crush you to death but hopefully you won't have time to get scared.

To imagine driving here, simply make a checklist of everything you would never consider doing on very narrow, steep mountain roads with hairpin and switchback turns in heavy traffic. Now, do all of them. Blind passing uphill around a corner? No hesitation. Play 'chicken' with other vehicles when there is no where to turn off? Regularly.

We passed through a lot of landscape that would normally look pretty but in my mind said only "If the bus driver fucks this up, we are going to roll down this rocky very steep mountain. Anyone who survives that will get to drown in the river."

Doing that sort of driving while being tortured on cheese grater roads for twelve hours is stressful and wearing.

At one stop, they washed the bus. This surprised me because I didn't think these buses ever got washed. They were careful not to wash off the red stuff the priest had lobbed at the windshield as part of the bus blessing.

During the drive (between the screaming) I saw a lot of terrace farming. While terrace farming looks nifty, it screams poverty and hard work to me. It says "My family has been poor for so long that over several generations we've been doing this - and are still poor. We work so hard we had to partially level the crappy soil of a mountain to try to eek out an existence."

Much to everyone's surprise, we arrived in Kathmandu.



KATHMANDU

After some bargaining, I paid 300 NRS for a taxi ride to the Thamel district in Kathmandu. It was a few kilometers away from where the bus dropped me off. The other taxi drivers assured me this is a good rate but I assume everything they say is a lie.

The Thamel district is totally made up of everything Nepalese think tourists want. If you can't find a guesthouse here by just walking in, you are slow of mind. Even slower than Logan - which would mean you can't understand this blog. Hence, I can say that anyone reading this blog is clever enough to find a place to sleep in Thamel. It may not be the right place or right price but there are tons of places here you can crash. You can just do what I did - find some tourists and ask them. A couple of Swiss girls directed me to one nearby.

I ended up at the Chill Out Guesthouse. The girls told me they'd heard other people get a room for 500 NRS so I bargained for that. The rate started at 600 NRS so I thought I could hit that. I did, but then they sprung the VAT and service charge on me so it was back to the bargaining table. Ended up at 550 NRS. Normally, if a place asks for VAT and service charge I just leave. Honestly. It is yet another scam. It means either that you are staying at a place that is posh and you can afford to pay an extra 25% or you are not staying at somewhere posh and they are just trying to rip you off another few rupees. The better places just include all of that shit in their price. Believe me, I do when I write about their prices.

Speaking of prices, going from 1 IRS = .02 (50 IRS = 1 USD) to 78 NRS = 1 USD SUCKS. I got spoiled. It's not like everything is the same price and you just have more money. Oh, no. They jacked the prices on everything so you end up spending a lot of time trying to figure out what you are actually paying.



ALCOHOL

In India, you are not always allowed to go into the store. There are a bunch of bars and the man inside can pass you a bottle of what you want after you give him money. This may be to keep religious types from smashing up their stock. Or theft. Probably religious fanatics. In Nepal, everyone sells booze. This is strange to me because I don't think I can really afford it. Even on my self imposed limit, I have a lot more access to money than many of the natives. I wonder "How can they afford this shit?"



WHAT THE HELL IS A 'MO MO'?

A mo mo is suppose to be this famous Nepalese food. I went and ordered some from a place that assured me 'they were good'. Pot-stickers, people. That's all they are. They were reasonable tasting but if you know what a 'pot-sticker' is, you've had it. Instead of soy sauce, they give you a sauce made from ginger, garlic and tomato. Decent but not 'oh my god, this is a unique food'. Nope.



POWER OUTAGES

Tim Van Theemsche will especially like this. For those who don't recognize it immediately, these are in military times. If you don't get the 24 hour clock, sad for you. Take a look at these times:

SUN 9-15, 19-24; MON 8-14, 17-24; TUE 5-13, 18-24; WED 4-11, 15-22; THU 3-10, 14-20; FRI 3-9, 13-19; SAT 10-17, 20-24.

Note, these times are gospel. By that I mean that everyone has times which are a little different and they bicker over them.

These are the *scheduled* power outages for Kathmandu. They don't include the unscheduled ones. This is pretty rough. I think Americans would freak out if they had to endure any of these sorts of shenanigans. I feel myself wanting to freak out. I thought they had it rough in Rajasthan when they would turn off the power for two hours every day. Turns out they were in the lap of luxury.

The reason this is of special interest to Tim V.T. - by great irony, these are the times when his internet also goes out. He has 'hick internet' and he hates it very much. I'm just happy he hasn't gone on a 'spree'. Yelling things like "Head shot" and "multi-kill" would be a real downer for worker morale at 'hick internet'. I'm not saying it isn't fully deserved, mind you...

During the rainy season in Nepal when they have more water flowing, they do not have these power outages. More water equals more power. More water also equals more water for TJ to drown the employees of 'hick internet' in - so it has it's downside...

Due to these ongoing power outages, you find a lot of places with generators, solar water heaters and so on. Also, during the rainy season when they have more water hence hydrodynamic power no outages.



GODDESS ALERT

Apparently, there is a living goddess here in Kathmandu. She's currently in the form of a little girl but is presented daily for people to see and hopefully photograph. I don't know exactly where she lives and who she is but who knows, I might go pay a visit. Apparently she is found in much the same way as the Dali Lama. When the old incarnation dies, they find a kid born at about the same time, do various tests and there you go.



BEER

This is the only publication that talks about goddesses, women's roles and beer all in the same publication.

Thus far, I've tried three different beers. In order from best to 'what the hell was that' they are: Tuborg (The Borg always win), Carlsberg and Kathmandu (brand).



TRAVELER'S TIPS

Always carry $100 or more in USD. Not EUR, not BPS - always USD. Everyone takes it and sometimes only that. Besides, if you are on the euro, getting a hundred is not expensive. I also recommend a full breakdown - $10, $20x2, $50x1. More takes up too much space, different breakdowns are less useful. All $10's is fine if you don't mind carrying more bills but that breakdown is handy. This is at a minimum. If you say 'but I'm on the euro and everyone takes euros', Nepal doesn't for their visa. There could be other countries as well. This is just your 'emergency cash'.


In most countries, your best bet is to simply ignore the buses and go to the official ticket window and get a ticket. In Nepal, find out what everyone is charging, when they leave and what their bus looks like. Then, go to the ticket window and see what they have to offer.


Negotiating with a cab. [Deep regrets if I've said this before but I still don't have a competent editor. Note that if I get one and he leaves that statement in, it says something.] Find out how much the fare should be from locals. It is actually less - they tend to exaggerate. Round down if you want or accept that or more if you want a cab right now. Business card to where you wish to go in one hand, money you wish to spend in the other. I pulled this off without speaking a couple different times.



TRAVELER'S LORE

I met up with two nice Hungarians named Attila and Ancsa. They told me two funny acronyms:

INDIA:
I
Never
Do
It
Again

NEPAL:
Never
Ending
Peace
And
Love



NEPAL WEIRDNESS

The people of Nepal are short. This makes life painful in many ways for tall or possibly average height people. Knock out doorways, feet sticking off of the edge of the bed, etc. There are bathrooms you won't be able to stand upright in. For men attempting to pee - or getting up after other activities in the unlit stinky place it'll be painful.


In Kathmandu, a lot of the women wear western clothing rather than robes and such. To me, that always speaks more to equality though I am perhaps conditioned to think this. I haven't learned much about a Nepal woman's lot in life yet but they do seem more approachable than Indian women - especially the Muslim ones. We'll see as I meet more.



COSTS (don't you wish other travel literature gave you this kind of breakdown?)

Before I came to Nepal, people had told me 'It's cheaper than India. After all, you get 1.6 NRS to 1 IRS. Yes, however you get a big stack of Vietnamese Dong to 1 IRS and Vietnam is decidedly more expensive. Hopefully, after I figure out a good place to go out of the tourist area the prices will get cheaper. Right now, they aren't. In fact, a bit more pricey than some parts of India.

Ticket from India border to Kathmandu, 470 NRS

Bus stop Snickers bar, 60 NRS

Bus stop can of pineapple juice, 60 NRS

Cheese burger at restaurant Gaia. Bit disappointing. Burgers should not have cucumber on them - ever. Sadly, America still has the best burgers in the world despite our strange motivation to put bacon on everything - even on top of other bacon. Gaia burger, 330 NRS.

One liter of 'Real' fruit juice. Note, 'real' may be the brand name, 155 - 175 NRS

'Axe' brand deodorant, 150 ml, 225 NRS. I recommend the Axe brand not for the smell or whether it works or not but merely for the twist top of the can - works very well under stress in a backpack.

Cheap Swiss Army Knife, 400 NRS

Shower (body) wash, 200 NRS

Nepal cigarettes, 115 NRS. This is for Surya cigarettes. Decent, nothing special. Cambodia is still the place for cheap smokes and booze.

Booze 700-1000 NRS. This is for either a small bottle of imported stuff or a big bottle of cheap (and possibly evil chemical treated) local stuff.


Some hotel and guest house prices from my research around the area. Note that if the place didn't have wifi and hot water I wasn't interested in the price. I can do better. Service tax and VAT are in these prices. Some prices have been 'reduced' but not by much

Hotel Holy Himalaya, 15 Euros (20 Euros for a double)
Hotel White Lotus, no wifi
Imperial, 550 NRS + odd smell in room for free
Kathmandu Guest House (fancy place), $8 single common shower, $40 single with shower
Lhasa Guest House, 500 NRS (battery back up for 24 hour wifi, owner friendly)
Mustang Holiday Inn, 1200 NRS
Sacred Valley Inn, 25 USD
Shangri-La Guest House, 700 NRS

Honestly, the people that pay $40 for a single still strike me as 'wtf are you thinking'. You could be getting a much fancier room in a much fancier country for that. Even if this is your 'big vacation'. I've been in expensive rooms and cheap rooms. Many times, you really don't get that much more good stuff out of a nicer room than a cheaper one. My rule of thumb (other than use a stick the size of my thumb) is 200 IRS for a room with no wifi, 400 IRS with wifi. So, multiply by 1.6 for NRS. Under that is even better.

Prices from "Paddy Foley's Irish Pub"
Domestic beers, 340-360 NRS
Imported beers, 300-600 NRS
Shooters and mixed drinks, 350-400 NRS

SHANGRI-LA

PARENTS AND STUFF

A long time ago (in a galaxy not so far away) I set out on my trip. My parents had two requests:

1. We don't want to know anything dangerous that you've done in the past.
2. We don't want to know anything dangerous you are currently doing.

Without telling them I've been threatened by both locals and tourists they still consider anything outside of the USA as 'remarkably dangerous'. Like western Europe. India is pretty much in the 'oh my god how have you survived this long' category for them.

Fine. I don't tell them things. Anything, actually.

I'm OK with that. I've never had a close relationship with my parents.

Then today, I get an e-mail message from them asking what my schedule is. This is very strange for me. I think the chances of them traveling outside of the USA are about the same as someone mailing me a large bundle of money and it actually reaching me.

So, it makes me wonder 'WTF'...

Note, I had asked them why they wanted to know my schedule but they never got back to me.

For long time readers of the blog, this may be the first time you've heard me mention my family. For those who know me well, the whole 'Logan has a family' thing may come as a shock. I realize that many people hold the believe that I sprouted fully formed from the earth and was bitter and unhappy about it. This may be true. It is also widely believed that I have always looked much as I do now. This may also be true. There are pictures (somewhere) of me much younger but those could have been forged.

One can never tell.



DELHI BELLY

To put it in a very polite fashion, Delhi belly. Impolite, explosive diarrhea. Not a real uncommon thing in a country as dirty as India. Or Cambodia. Or Laos for that matter. Anyway, I've gotten it again.

So, I post on FB:

"Thought: trying to sleep under mosquito netting with explosive bowels is a challenge I wouldn't wish on most of you."

Chris C had the best retort:

"I piciture you getting up in the middle of the night... moaning because yiou back hurts and now the urge to shit is making you move faster than you usually do... the netting gets wrapped around you and you stagger around looking like a cheap halloween ghost in sheet... you find the door and rush through to find you have actually stumbled into the hallway... your moans and groans grow louder as you bump against the walls making a huge ruckus... the angry hippie emerges from his room to see the large ghost flailing about and screams in fright falling to the ground clutching the logan ghost monster which makes the netting drape over the hippie who is now convinced the ghost is eating him... the angry sitar woman rushes to the hippies aid to see the naked logan monster standing in all his... Splendor... she screams and looses same sanity dropping the sitar on the hippie breaking the infernal noise machine and putting her into catatonic shock for the forseeable future. Freed from his netting logan turns around to flee toward the bathroom when his clunch fails and pure consentrated evil explode from logans backside. The angry and noisy neighbors lay smothered in covered like a BAD hot fudge sundae. Logan closes his door and makes his way to the bathroom to shower and roll back into bed... karma finally catching up with evil neighbors..."

A good movie scene!



TRAVELERS LORE

From Sabine

hey.. just read some of your blog!:).. ohh and im quoted!:).. anyway have some information regarding "going to nepal" that i thought i'd throw in your general direction.. use it as you please!... just coz i saw you were writing about it on your bogg.. and i happen to have tried both methods of reaching nepal.. several times!
TAKE THE BUS!
the bus leaves in the morning, reaches the boarder generally by evening late afternoon, you then check into a hotel, and next morning catch a bus to Kathmandu.. ( this is anyway how it turned out when i did it.. time is always relative!)
this is the easy "no hassle" option ( dont get carried away by the no hassle part though.. you still have to spend a lot of time in a small bus seat!)
If you're feeling funky.. then jump on the train going north ( any
train booking wallah will know the name of the station you then want to go to, but i cant remember!).. at the end station get a bus top the boarder, and then from there get another bus to kathmandu.. the good part about this is that the train just is more comfortable.. in the scense that your not "stuck" in the same way as on a bus.. also it leaves in the evening.. meaning that you dont have to "waste" daytime sitting on a bus (again time is relative, and somehow relatively longer on busrides!)..

both options take more or less the same amount of time, cost more or less the same.. but with the bus option you yourself dont have to move as much.. just lean back (!!) and enjoy!.. with the train theres the " sleep might be possible" option..

both the train and bus option still means that you have to catch a bus from the nepaleese boarder to kathmandu.. they leave quite often and take between 8-12 hours... my experience tells me.. the buswallah will most probably insist on 5-7 hours..

If the hostilities continue at kedar guest house you should check amima lodge.. its right on Assi Ghat between the bookshops harmony and indica books.. prices are resonable and the rooms are simple and clean.. the ones ive seem at least!

Off to Kalkatta!.. Hope you enjoy the rest of your time i Kashi!..

oiii.. btw if you go from Durga Kund (rickshaw wallahs will know this place) towards Sankat Mochan there is a grey marble temple on you left hand on the way.. check it.. but most importantly go upstairs inside and to the back, pay the 3 Rps fee and enjoy some pure indian sillyness!!! one of the little hidden things to see!



VIVA NEPAL

Unfortunately, it doesn't look like I am going to get to see the grey marble temple Sabine has spoken of. A combination of the rising heat, Delhi belly, general irritability and being threatened by more people than I am accostomed to in a country has caused me to purchase the bus ticket for the border of Nepal. The bus leaves at 8:30 AM, arrives at 4:30 PM. Supposedly.

Originally, I had been told that the bus ticket was 1000 RS but this was all the way to Kathmandu with a mandatory night stop over. I had read this is not the way to do it so I asked for a ticket just to the border. Turns out that is only 500 RS. I booked it through Chnnu of the "Festive Villa Restaurant". I was told it's a 'nice bus' so we'll see what I actually get. I would like to point out that she didn't try to gouge the ticket price. That is honest and sadly rare here.

For 500 RS, I'm not really expecting all that much. But we'll see.

I went and settled accounts with the lady of the house as her husband is still off buying more land. That was painless and I didn't get robbed there. Happy.

Since my belly is currently fighting with the strange pizza like substance I put into it (Pizzeria Vaatika Cafe - decent but nothing special. Normal size, extra cheese, diet coke, 260 RS) I am planning on sitting in my room the rest of the day.

This comes as quite a disappointment to all of the merchants who would love nothing better than to lure me into their shops.

Tomorrow at 7 AM, I have asked for a tuk tuk to be waiting for me outside of my lodging just to make sure I have one. It will cost nearly double what a normal tuk tuk would (80 RS) but with the heavy pack on avoiding too much walking is not a bad thing. Chnnu booked that as well. I cautioned her that if it is not there at 7 AM exactly, I would go on foot. Since I've never had a tuk tuk booked in advance ever show up on time, I really don't expect to see it.

But I could be surprised. Who knows.

So, tomorrow I shall make my way to the Nepalese border and from there catch a bus to Kathmandu. This is thought to be the mythical 'Shangri-La', but it's probably just another claim to attract tourism. I doubt any immortal beings are still alive today. If I can get a cheap, cold, non-sucky beer and a good steak it would be close enough to Shangri-La for me.

Due to travel, it may be a couple of days before I can update.

Due to the amount of fucked up things that happen to me while I am in transit, it should be an interesting read for you. Less fun for me.



MOVIE REVIEW

The King's Speech

I remember when this was in the movie theaters not too long ago. There were so many people giving me impassioned speeches on what a great film it was and so on. And on. At the time, I didn't see it because it didn't look like my kind of movie. No humor. No explosions. No humorous explosions. But, later I thought hey - this made a lot of awards and hoopla lets give it a chance. See what's up.

No humor, no humorous explosions.

It wasn't a bad movie but it wasn't 'oh my god'. It was about someone put into extraordinary circumstances overcoming adversity. Respectable but we do get movies like that all the time. The fact that it was based on true events, neat, but meh. Who really cares?

I'd give the movie a 6/10. It was good but not earth shattering. I really don't understand why people got so worked up about it.



TV SHOW REVIEWS

'Being Human'

So far, I'm not horribly impressed. They have three main people in the cast. A werewolf who is a socially awkward pussy. He doesn't seem to have any control over it or any real upside. He just freaks out once a month. They have a charming attractive vampire who is 'on the wagon'. Christ, I'm tired of 'sexy' vampires. That cliche plus the 'on the wagon' one - dull. They also have 'the prince is angry with you' cliche from the 'Vampire: The Masquerade' RPG. And last off, they have a ghost who is totally wrapped up in her ex-fiance. She had what appears to be a dull life and spends most of her time pinning for her lost love. Fair enough, that does strike me as the kind of crap ghosts get up to.

But the series thus far has been pretty dull. Not a lot going on. Some threats of menace from here or there but nothing I've really been made to care about. I'm going to try to make it through the first season. Unless it picks up, it gets 4/10. Note, I made it through the first season but it was an effort. I have the second season mysteriously (and slowly) showing up. Unless I am out of other stuff, I won't bother.

Hell, at least on the show 'Misfits' you could look forward to them occasionally brutally murdering a probation worker.



'QI'

Logan watching a game show is as strange of concept for many as 'Logan having a family'. Understandable. Most game shows are pretty much right above 'reality shows' for appealing to the lowest common denominator. This game show is hosted by the extremely clever Stephen Fry. He strikes me as the kind of person I'd love to have a few cups of tea with and chat. This game show has questions that nobody usually knows the answers to. Like Jana's tour guiding, points are not only given for being correct but for having interesting - even if completely false - answers. As a result, I consider this usually to be funny as hell. Of course, some shows are better than others; some shows get me laughing hard enough that people who don't know I am listening through headphones may think I'm completely mad. Which may, in fact, be true.

BURNING GHAT SHAKDOWN

BUMPY TRAVEL THROUGH INDIA

I decided to do something a little different today. In India, this is possible everyday. If you have money. I don't have a lot but if you know how to barter, a little can go a long way.

When I got into country, the nice man at the train station gave me a map for free. This was very nice of him. Through exploration and owning a working compass, I discovered that the Indian folks are worse at mapping than I'd feared.

I'm pretty sure that everyone has seen something like this on a map.It's on my map. The problem is that it should be upside down. My guess is that it's just another meaningless symbol that is suppose to appear on the map to the map maker and so he put it on as is.

I'm not even joking.

Hence, through trial and error and a lot of saying 'WTF is wrong with people', I've discovered that 'south is up' on this particular map. I've shown it to other tourists, pointed at the 'north arrow' and gotten some 'WTF's' from them as well.

Good times.

Don't trust maps in this country.

Anyway, I am staying in the northern part of the city at a place called Assi Ghat. It's pretty quiet aside from the violent hippies that periodically infest the region. I wanted to head south to look at some of the other ghats. In this town, it seems that all of the interesting stuff is close to the river.

I have walked a ways south before exploring but I wanted to go further south than I'd been before.

Hence, I decided to take a boat.

Boat prices are usually pretty expensive but one of the girls at the 'usual tea place' told me about paying only 50 RS for a ride.

What the hell I figured.

So I did the bargaining technique where I took out only the money I wanted to spend and put it in my hand to walk along the banks of the Ganges.

I heard crazy quotes. The highest was 400 RS. That was the 'hello, you look stupid and rich' price. No takers at 50 RS. Just whining. So, after I got free of that group of boatmen, I swapped the 50 RS for 100 RS and tried the same trick with the next group. Got a hit that time.

I had him take me to roughly the middle ghat on my list. Still a bit north of the burning ghat but close enough to walk around some more. For those curious, the actual distance is under 4 KM or so. But the boat was less dangerous than walking the chaotic streets of India. Well, it was in some ways. The last scientific facts I'd read on the Ganges showed that it was pretty much all sewage according to their numbers. It doesn't look nice. Not quite so bad that if you tossed a lit cigarette in that the river would burst into flame, but not anything you'd swim in if you had any common sense. Religion, however, trumps common sense. Many Hindus drink a mouthful of water every day. I'm sure their immune system gets a great workout. For us unaccustomed foreigners, I don't recommend even washing your hands in it.

So, I went on the boat ride. (See videos below).

After I got dropped off where I wanted to be, I got a shave right there Ghat-side (30 RS). I could have probably gotten it a lot cheaper but it's good to be nice to the man with the razor at your throat.

After that, I was feeling a bit peckish. I spied 'Dolphin Restaurant'. A dolphin sounded pretty good right then so I hiked up the many stairs to it. You can't get 'french fries' for 100 RS there. A typical meal is 300-400. Screw that, way too much to eat Flipper.

So, I made my way to the famous Burning Ghat.



BURNING GHAT SHAKEDOWN

I wasn't even on the ghat but I took a couple pics of the wood. Such a lot of wood they have.

I'm not really interested in getting a picture of some guy's grandmother getting cremated. I wouldn't say that it is because of 'basic human decency' - those who know me well may already be laughing - but I just don't have any interest.

Some short guy saw me taking pictures from a distance and came right over. He told me that this was very disrespectful of his religion. He told me the only way to make it right was to come and give an unspecified amount donation to the 'old people's' fund. I was threatened with all sorts of horrible things - seizure of passport, jail time, heavy fines.

Con Man: "Don't you respect our religion?"
Logan: "Your religion? Yes. You? No."

Then, the danger level went up as more people wanted to come over to assist this con man. I just said "Hey, sorry. I'm out." and left despite their protestations that I could not leave.

Nobody tried to stop me. The barking dog had no teeth.

I did wonder if it would come down to a bit of fighting.

The sad thing is that with a con like this, you aren't totally sure if it is true or not. People do a lot of things that - were 'religion' not assigned to it people would say is totally moronic. Since 'religion' is assigned to it, all sorts of sacred emotions get tagged on. Best just to GTFO.

First hippies, now thwarted con men. What next?



RETURN TO THE BURNING GHAT

Those who know me know that I am very stubborn. I came to see the burning ghat, I will see the burning ghat.

I worked my way around the serpentine streets to the opposite side of the ghat. I put my had I'd been wearing into my bag and donned a necklace of flowers (5 RS) and bought a juice box (10 RS). Simple changes can make all of the difference for a disguise. If I had different pants and a shirt that would have helped but as it was the disguise worked.

Making sure not to have my camera in my hand - at all - I wandered around the burning ghat some more. The con men didn't realize it was me. I did keep away from them as I have a pretty unique appearance. But I got to see it.

The best way is to probably surreptitiously photograph the scene from a boat on the water. Note that I'm not advocating trying to get close ups of burning corpses but the scene itself is pretty interesting. Grim, possibly sad but interesting. Death is big business there.

I didn't actually see a corpse. Don't care, seen corpses before. Hell, seen a live autopsy. Don't care. Some people have a lot of problems with corpses. If someone is dead, I view them as just the five dollars or so of chemicals and goo left over afterward. Not really useful.

After that, my peckishness returned.



DRAMATIC RETURN OF THE PECKISHNESS

I made my way to the more reasonably priced 'Sankatha Guest House' and spoke to the owner Malu.

In asking him about the shenanigans at the burning ghat he told me never to give money to anyone there. There are a lot of people hustling foreigners there. Many problems with it. "Fucking police do nothing." he told me. I asked why and was told they get bribed. That's kind of sad in such a solemn and very religious place.

For those interested, rooms there go from 300-900. Hot water, wifi has been broken for two days, TV and in the more expensive rooms, AC.

The food was decent, I had a main, rice and a bottle of water for 130 RS.

I enjoyed spending an hour or two chatting with some nice folks from France.

After that, I went forth to find transport back to my guesthouse.



BIKE RIDE TO THE GUESTHOUSE

In India, you are never really done with being shaken down for money. I negotiated the price for the 3-4 KM ride back to Assi Ghat. The driver really didn't want to do 50 RS but some other guy started yelling he'd do it for 40 RS so he suddenly accepted my less than generous offer.

The amount of cut throat competition for a dollar is fierce.

On the trip, he tried to beg off me. Here are a couple snippets of the things he tried and how I responded to it. I call him 'bike'.

Bike: "I am very poor man."
Logan: "Excellent."

Bike: "It is many kilometers to Assi Ghat."
Logan: "You'd better pedal harder."

Bike: "It is a hard life with no money."
Logan: "That's super!"

Bike: "Do you think...?"
Logan: "Less talk, more pedal."

Eventually, he got the hint and shut up. I played the cheerful "Walking on Sunshine" by Katrina and the Waves. It made him seem more happy and cheerful.

When I got off of the bike and handed him the earlier agreed upon 50 RS, he looked as though I'd just kicked him. When he gave me that look, the thought of kicking him did in fact cross my mind but I opted for tea instead. Yummie tea.

Fucking hate beggars.



SPELLING

I was just pondering spelling. Before the age of the computer, you needed to learn how to spell. They would have 'spelling B's' in school and such to try to test spelling and reward those who did well. And, of course, shamelessly mock those who didn't. Today, if someone is good at spelling you can always say "Gosh, you function as well as my spell check on the computer. So happy you spent all of that time memorizing the stupid spelling we have in the English language!"

Sorry kids, you only need to learn to spell well enough for spell check (or the internet) to figure out what you are trying to write.




VIDEOS

Boat Trip 1
Boat Trip 2
Ride back to Assi
TJ 2 Cows
TJ 4 Cows