TIBILISI TRIP

DEDICATION

I'd like to dedicate this wall of text to Adam who was concerned that text was going to be replaced with my slick videos.



GEORGIAN CUSTOMS

Kelecki: This is a short supra, only 2-3 hours, given for a funeral. The drinking is faster. The food is different than what is norally served and includes fish and sometimes beans. When the rice (plau'ed) is served, it means the supra is ending, time to go home. As a side note, Georgians believe that bodes should return to the earth from whence they came hence cremation is very bad here.



COUCH SURFING WEIRDNESS

I had chaged my couch surfing location to Batumi, Georgia. Since I've done so, I've received four messages. Two were of the normal 'lets meet up for drinks sometime' variety. One was fro a lady who lived in the kind of country that the wages of Georgia looked like a big step up. She wanted me to find her family jobs and a place to live. The fourth was from some guy who claimed to be an 'experienced traveler'. He wanted me to figure out his countries visa policy with Georgia and find him a cheap place to stay in Tbilisi for five days. Apparently this 'experienced traveler' had never heard of embassies, consulates or the internet. I told the first two messages to look me up at the Batumi Hostel and told the last two (in as classy way as possible) to fuck off. I never heard from any of them again. I'm really not sure if the difference between getting no messages when I was in Virginia vs strange/going nowhere messages in Batumi is better but at least I know their message system is working.



GEORGIAN CUSTOMS

I was talking to Irakli who didn't feel I understood Georgian customs. Au Contraire, Mon Frère. Because I choose not to live under a certain custom does not mean I do not understand it. For example: If a Georgian man wants to drink a lot, he will buy a bunch of alcohol and invite lots of people over to help him drink it. Drinking by yourself is unheard of in Georgia - aside from clinically troubled people. For me, I don't really have enough money to buy a lot of people alcohol. I also prefer to often drink alone. If I make an ass out of myself, it is in private. Unless I get drunk an write a blog or something. I really have no opinion on which way of living is better or worse. I don't think it's for me to decide. I do have a very strong opinion on how I will live though. By my own code and my own customs. If I find a custom in a different country I like, I can strive to adopt it. Otherwise, when I leave the country unwanted customs will fall off me. Some won't even affect me when I am in the country.



LEAVING BATUMI

David had taken off with his girlfriend so it was just Irakli and I. I didn't really have any goodbyes for him that losing something like fifty straight matches in Backgammon couldn't say so I kept it brief. I didn't really feel like I got to
'click' with any of the last batch of guests. I did feel I was pretty burned out on hostel work. The whole concept of working at a hostel now would cost a lot more money to whoever had me there than it did going in. Adam knew that when he advised me not to work at a hostel but just own one, but I still think it was a valuable work experience. I met a lot of great people through the hostel and my Facebook friends page grew considerably. Who knows - some day, maybe I'll get a chance to visit some of them in their own countries. Maybe even run into some on the road. But I'm Really not interested in owning a hostel at this time. In the future, who knows.

In short, I had Irakli call me a cab and I hopped into it and took off when it arrived - just as I've seen lots of travelers to the hostel do.



TRAIN TO TBILISI

The Ukranian rail system is better than the Georgian one. The lower seats still have the nifty secure 'roll my fat ass off of this bunk if you want my shit' storage I loved from the Ukrainian train. I was disappointed that the bottom bunk was seats - not really a bunk. It was pretty hard and about one step up from sleeping on a shaking park bench. Also, be aware that you have to get your plastic bundle of sheets and such from the conductor - they aren't laid out on the beds prior to your arrival.

There were the usual mix of people on the train - the noisy young people, the old people who lug huge bags that don't fit down the isles of trains and expect others to help them, the strange, the creepy and the harried.

In my compartment, I was careful to book a bottom bunk as I don't think my fat ass could climb to the top. Two rather heavy ladies joined me in the compartment. I was very curious as to which would make the climb. Honestly, I wanted to catch that on video but I figured it would be indiscreet. But damned funny. So, I just went to bed and slept. Chivalry died with equal rights, despite claims to the contrary. In the morning, I discovered that the ladder to get up to the top bunks is well camouflaged.

Surprisingly, just after departure, the TV's in all of the cabins switched themselves on simultaneously and began to blare loud, annoying music. The conductor was going around with a remote lowering the volume. He turned ours off. Thank God. I have no idea why that is there on a sleeper train.

The doors of the rooms also lock from the inside. This did give me a nasty shock because the ladies decided to lock the door while they 'freshened up'. I had bad visions of them slashing up my pack with knives yelling "Don't give us the top bunk? Die bastard!"



IN TBILISI

As we were headed into Tbilisi, we went through a lot of really run down area - the footprint left behind of the USSR. I wouldn't mind going back there on foot sometime to take a bunch of pictures to send to the folks making Fallout 4 of new 'post apocalyptic' stuff they can use for the game. Hell, I'm surprised Hollywood hasn't used that stuff for some scenes. My guess is that it is too dangerous to work in and around.

I was told to get to Friends Hostel, it would be 7-10 GEL. Accurate. It wasn't easy to get the cab driver to find/acknowledge this street. Cost me 10 GEL and I even was out of it enough to toss in a 2 GEL tip. Dumb it was, especially since the 'foreigner tax' had already doubled the price.



FRIENDS HOSTEL FIRST IMPRESSIONS

They have a good sized common room downstairs. Upstairs is a large dormitory room with perhaps fifteen beds in one room. They have a couple private rooms that seem to be very booked. They have the kind of gear lockers I like - the ones that fit the entire backpack in. Unfortunately, the first one I tried only appeared to lock but didn't really. Fortunately, I'm the kind of person that checks. I think the worst thing I've found in the hostel thus far is they have their computer hooked to big speakers. Instead of headphones. This is a horrible move in my opinion, but I just got here. But that sort of thing won't keep me staying as long as I'd thought I was going to. A day or three before I move on. But I appreciate the complimentary bed they graciously are giving me while I'm in town. [This hostel is owned by the same guys who own the Batumi Hostel.]



BREAKFAST IN TBILISI

I went to a restaurant, determined to have eggs. I was trying for something simple like a cheese omelet. They told me that would be half a GEL. Per egg. That's still pretty good but any mention of 'cheese' caused them to try to default to the 'cheese plate' at 10 GEL. Not a chance of that. So, I eventually managed to get scrambled eggs and some sort of potatoes which sucked. The scrambled eggs were fine - they were so greasy that the plate could have been used for a demonstration of 'friction-less surfaces'. Apparently, this country hasn't heard about the war against cholesterol. Since that was the first egg meal I'd gotten in a couple months, I ate it and liked it. God knows it slid down my throat easily enough.



EYE DOCTOR EXAMINATION

My eyes had bothered me a bit so George took me to the biggest hospital in Tbilisi. It looked like a pretty run down 'County' hospital in the states. The doctor wanted me to do a lot of stuff like pinch my eye lids as part of the treatment because he saw some inflammation in the lid. Since this directly contradicts what I've been told by American eye doctors, I'm not going to be doing that shit. I've got a prescription for some fairly expensive (40 GEL) crap to put on my eye. The pain pretty much went away a couple of days ago. I had just wanted to see if my iritis was acting up. Since it isn't, I'll try a bit of 'wait and see'.



PLANS

I have no idea how long I'm planning on staying in Tbilisi [food is expensive here!], where next I will go in Georgia or anything. I'm keeping it loose but attempting to stay here at least 11 more days till the end of Ramadan. I'd like to avoid running into a lot of alcohol, nicotine, sex, food and water deprived Turks if I can. Better to see them happy and satisfied.

My buddy and local guide, George (one of the six approved names for men in Georgia) will steer me toward some interesting stuff so I put myself in his hands.

I have also been contemplating Adam's words when he said that 'traveling doesn't do you any good if you miss all of the good stuff'.



GIVE ME THAT OLDE TIME RELIGION

According to one woman I was talking to on a marshutka (like a short bus) she said that prior to Christianity, Georgians worshiped either wine, or a god of wine. Hard to understand her. If this is true however, it gives a lot more weight to the whole Supra thing and would help explain why it is as it is. I'll have to check into this more later.



COSTS

Second class to Tbilisi, 23 GEL
Eye doctor consult, 34 GEL



VIDEO TIME

Rather than having the videos embedded into the blog, I'm just going to have links so that it loads faster. I tried to look at my own blog and on the shitty internet they have in Batumi, it took forever to load. Videos are just an extra thing I'm doing when I am out and about but the typing is still the main thing. Extra warning! All of these videos are extremely low quality. If you want to bitch about the quality, you can save yourself the hassle (and my 'I told you so') by not watching them. I'm just putting them up for completeness.

Tbilisi shot

First steps into Friends Hostel

Introducing George!

Some strange buildings in the distance - what could they be? (Warning - found out my camera doesn't do well in low light - at all).

RESTAURANT QUEST BATUMI

RESTAURANT QUEST

Logan goes out to find a restaurant and gets more than he bargained for! [Note this is a seven part video because it would have been paused for too long and my current computer power is insufficient for video editing. Send me a film crew and I'll do better.]

Part 1:


Part 2:


Part 3:


Part 4:


Part 5:


Part 6:


Part 7:





BATUMI TRAFFIC JAM

An example of common traffic snarls when bad traffic laws and drivers get together.

REPUBLIC OF GEORGIA VS A BANANA

BATUMI BEACH BASH

I was walking along the beach here in Batumi (Republic of Georgia) and decided to make a video. The quality isn't great but it's done with my camera. I hope you enjoy it!





BAZAAR BATUMI

Heading to the bazaar in Batumi, Georgia. This is part one.


Because I mixed up the 'off' button with the 'pause' button, here is part two.




REPUBLIC OF GEORGIA VS A BANANA

STICK AND BUCKET DANCE

MORE TRAVELER TYPES

RUGGED INDIVIDUALIST

By the very name of this type of person, they are a solo traveler. Eighty or ninety percent of the time they are men. This person is defined by not only have they been everywhere but want to do so on their own. Even showing them something close by isn't really appreciated. Quote: "No, I'll find it myself - thanks."


JOINER

Dislikes traveling by themselves, will join others groups. They either set out to travel by themselves and decided it wasn't for them or more commonly got ditched by their group and are attempting to get into a new one. The reasons for wanting to join up with others compulsively is usually based in fear. Note, this is not the kind of person who joins up with others to go do a museum or go swimming - this is the kind of person who is trying to join up with others for long stretches. Quote: "Mind if I tag along?"


COLORFUL CHARACTER

This is a person who has literally seen so much they seem to have stories (interesting ones, mind you) about lots of different things. You usually won't know it's a 'colorful character' unless you pick up small hints dropped along the conversation or question them about their background. Quote: "Back in '97..."


DO GOODERS

Idealistic young people who believe they can and will change the world. Usually involved with programs like TLG ("Teach, Learn with Georgia"), Peace Corps, etc. These are the people who usually set off wanting to do good and make a difference. By the time they're done with their six months (TLG) to two years (Peace Corps) they are anxious to get the hell home. Some may want to stay but others have a burned out look to them. Quote (from the ones stuck in Muslim countries): "Do you know where we can get pork?"



MORE ON HOSTEL OWNERSHIP

I wouldn't allow people to use Skype within the hostel (the voice part) because 1) People who are on skype typically disregard those who are reading, studying where to go to next and so on. 2) People on Skype often idiotically like to raise their voice because the people they are talking to are 'so far away' 3) Nobody builds life long memories of good friends they met in a hostel talking to people elsewhere on Skype. If people use cell phones, we like to send them outside as not to bother the other guests. (Note, none of this applies if people have a private room. They can use skype, phones, fuck, whatever there. The hostel I am currently working in is very connected though with no private rooms and you can hear stuff all over it.)



INTERVIEW

Since Irakli didn't want to do an interview, he decided to do one of me. Unedited, unscripted and unrehearsed.




STICK AND BUCKET DANCE

I've been reading too much Pratchett lately.

BATUMI HOSTEL VIDEO

ELVIRE

I went to the Nobel museum (which should have been named the 'Petro-Chemical history of Batumi with some stuff on Tea thrown in for good measure' - though it wouldn't fit in on the name plaque as well) with a lady from France named Elvire.

For anyone to travel by themselves requires a certain level of 'mental toughness' - often it seems more so with women. She was unique in that she was both married and traveling by herself. She said that she preferred to travel without her husband on vacation. Also, she is no casual tourist. She has been (solo) to both North and South America as well as Europe and Africa. She has a long list of countries she's been in from each of those continents. She even met her husband in South America and has been married to him for six years.

I asked her what was important for a woman to know when traveling by herself. The most important thing Elvire said was knowing how to say 'no' in the language you were going to in order to put a stop to the (often clumsy) sexual advances of men. You could even get a fake wedding ring and say you are married.

She said that people are a lot nicer to her when she's traveling on her own. She enjoys hitchhiking a lot and says she has twice the chances of getting a ride as single women will also stop for her.

Elvire very much seems to enjoy traveling alone and I wish her continued happiness from this!



COMPETITION? NO

I had gone over to Bbeach Hostel in Batumi to check it out at the same time I was escorting a couple of guys over there, since we ran out of room at our hostel. It is much larger, dirtier and louder was my initial impression. When I reported a lack of toilet paper in a restroom (at a very unfortunate time) I was told it was the cleaning ladies fault and nothing more was done about it. I've talked to a couple of people from Poland who told me they got a quieter night sleeping on a public beach than they had spending it there. Another guest reported that the place was filled with Georgians and he didn't like it - nobody spoke any English. Note, English isn't this guy's first language - but it is the international language of travelers.

This reinforces (like it needed it...) my opinion that hostels need to be clean and quiet for sleeping. Also, if you let the locals stay there, your international crowd will dry up.



GERMAN SAYING

"Der wegg is das ziel." AKA "The way is the goal." Thanks Phillip. An excellent reason to more closely consider Jordan for the next destination... More on that later...


I LIKEA DO THE 'CHA CHA'

After hearing about the alcohol content of Cha Cha as well as how it is made (distilling that which is left over after making wine), Grega from Slovvenia remarked "Cha cha sounds like the 'crack' of alcohol."



BATUMI HOSTEL VIDEO



I recently made a short video with a walk through of Batumi Hostel. I didn't talk during the first half of it but eventually I started to babble. The volume is faint but remember, this is a standard camera - not a video camera. It was also quite a nightmare uploading this short video. With the crappy wifi found at the hostel, twelve hours to upload it...

I hope people enjoy it!



TURKEY

Turkey gets cold November to March. Be out by the end of October.

In Istanbul, be sure to check out Harmony Hostel. It has been recommended by others.



COSTS

Prescriptions filled for about a month and a half, several meds, 110 GEL.
Business cards, 20 GEL for 100, 60 GEL for 300. Felt the guy was on crack and I'd get them done elsewhere.

VIDEO EXPERIMENTATION

VIDEO EXPERIMENTATION

I've tried some videos with my camera. It is interesting because I've noticed that the sound cuts out if I zoom in or out. I apologize for the video quality but I don't have a camera man and the roads aren't pretty - nor is the driving on the Sarpi videos.


THE WHITE ROOM







SOME SCENES DRIVING TO SARPI FROM BATUMI

PARADISE

TRIP TO PARADISE

I was with several American Peace Corps volunteers and showing them around the city of Batumi. I took them over to the lemonade factory. Note, this is not 'lemonade' as it is thought of in the states - at all. Think of it as 'flavored sweet sodas' and you're on the right track. I've really enjoyed several of the flavors of soda and this time we were fortunate enough to meet George and David - the sons of the owner whose name eluded all of us who went on the tour. George and David were kind enough to show us around the factory. I've been in modern American factories (of various products) and this one I felt was very interesting because everything was hand done - from the mixing of the soda, the washing of the bottles (recycling here), applying the labels with glue and even filling the bottles and putting on the bottle cap. I thought this was a very interesting tour and was grateful to be able to go on it. I hope to get to show other tourists this (should they be into it) in the future.


Peace Corps volunteers


Heading into the lemonade factory

Manually sticking on the labels




Remember bottle caps in the Fallout video game?



Washing out the old bottles - by hand



George - son of the owner and guide on our trip











The finished product - I like it and the price is very right


The men who make it happen, standing under the sign for the business


Detail on the men who make it happen, the owners two sons, the owner and his brother


I wanted to extend my warm thanks for making us feel very welcome and giving us a guided tour of your factory!



FOOD

When people throw out food, the food dies. Since the food has no sin, it goes to Heaven. Because Americans throw out half the food they produce, America feeds Heaven the most. That means God loves it. [This may be considered silly but it strikes me as silly as an invisible man who lives int the clouds and needs our money.]



GEORGIAN CUSTOMS, FOOD

I am told that it is very unusual to see a Georgian eating by themselves. They will do it but prefer not to.



GEORGIAN CUSTOMS, ALCOHOL

Large Supras (including but not limited to funerals, weddings, birthdays, etc) wine rather than cha-cha is the drink of choice. It is not unheard of to have cha-cha instead, just rare.



GEORGIAN CUSTOMS, WOMEN

Unlike in Azerbaijan, at Supras (and social gatherings) women are seated at the same table as men.



GEORGIAN CUSTOMS, BIZARRE SAYINGS

If a young woman cleans off her plate, she is told she will have a handsome husband. [This strikes me as odd because in fact doing so could cause the opposite. Unless their husband has interesting tastes.]

In both Azerbaijan and Georgia, a dropped fork indicates you will have guests coming. This is a very weird and silly saying that oddly enough got proven just after we were told about it. A fork was dropped and later unexpected guests joined us in the amazingly difficult to find without a guide 'White Room' restaurant. Needless to say, we were all impressed at the statement after that. So, if you are feeling lonely, merely drop your fork. If it doesn't work, move to the Republic of Georgia and try it again.



GEORGIAN CUSTOMS, SCHOOLS

Oddly enough, there are no sports teams or anything like that. This confused me and I asked how which schools to be in awe of and which schools to shun were figured out in Georgia. I was told the usual method of determining such rankings was through street fighting. I am not kidding. They also have allied or friendly schools who help them give 'what for' to disliked schools.



ANOTHER RECOMMENDED BOOK

I recommend reading this for both men and women. I have no idea if they have it in other languages but it is worth the read time...





PHILOSOPHY

While I was camped out in Batumi Hostel, I met up with a dutch guy who I call Alex. He had a large, hard bound book that he was writing in and pasting post cards and whatnot into. He was putting no small amount of work into it. I related to him the story of Henriëtte (who I call 'Harry Potter') and how she had followed either her grandfather (or great grandfather) from notes in his diary about his travels during world war two. I said that perhaps some day, his kids or grand-kids will follow him on his travels - so make them interesting and keep accurate notes. He said that he would like that. I told him that it is a better memento than most people leave - which is their couch. Personally, I think that leaving some heirloom like that is a lot more interesting - and potentially life changing than say another silver tea set or some shit. What is sad about this is that I've come across a lot of travelers who have been traveling for years. They have some vague memories of their travels and nothing written down to show for it. They have only excuses as to why they don't write things down. "I'm no good at writing." "It takes too long - I'd rather be doing things." "I'll write it later." It's the same bullshit over and over - and it is tragic.



YUMMY

Have vampire problems? Are your vampires rotting corpses who have a thirst for blood? Are your vampires easily mistaken for zombies? Are your vampires just not 'glittery' enough? Try this product to keep them away!
Thanks to experienced vampire killer Jana (yeah, she got the punks from Twilight, don't you fucking worry) for pointing out the logical connections!



WIT ISN'T WORTH IT

I was told it would be expensive, but I wanted to check to see what was expensive. I went down to the post office and got a quote for how much it would cost to send the $5 notebook filled with my notes to the Czech Republic. Twenty six GEL. Currently, that is $16.25 USD. Fuck that - I'll wait till I get to a different country. The people at the counter of the post office told me it would be cheaper to mail it in Turkey.



STRANGE PROBLEMS

A guy I met in the hostel named Gilad Polak (Israel) does 'adventure therapy'. While I thought in itself that was an interesting profession, he also told me something more interesting. His donkey got eaten by a wolf. I must admit, that's a new problem.



POLAND

From listening to an American who lived in Poland until a couple months ago and a guy currently living in Poland, it turns out that Poland is about the same price as Georgia, with the possible exception of the capital city being a little more. Even on that point they were not in complete agreement. This is exciting to me as it may put Poland onto my future travel plans.



AZERBAIJAN

Listening to Peace Corps volunteers who got sent to this country talk about it, it isn't really striking me as one I'd like to visit for a couple reasons. First, they follow the 'do unto others' philosophy when figuring out visa costs and lengths. For example, it is costs $50 to get into your country for their natives and they can stay for 2 weeks, that's what you get going there. That may sound fine on the surface but it kills their tourist industry. Which apparently isn't set up at all. I've heard for an American to get in, it is expensive and you don't get long. With the exception of one guy who requested it, none of the Peace Corps people seemed thrilled to have been stuck there for two years. In the Peace Corps, you request a general region and then they send you an invitation letter to where ever they need you regardless. You have the right to refuse the invitation but unless you give some sort of good reason, you probably won't get another invitation to a different country. And, you are stuck there for two years. It doesn't sound good to me.



COSTS

Baklava: I went to a store and asked how much a piece was. 1 GEL per piece, I was told- or I could buy it by the kilo. How much per kilo? 25 GEL. Cool. How many pieces per kilo I asked? 22. WTF.

Horse rental (in some part of Georgia I'm not in), 40 GEL per day.

Pack of weird cold medicine you put into hot water that works really amazingly well, 1.5 GEL

Knife sharpening from a street vendor, .60 GEL

Decent cigarette lighter with a built in flashlight, .50 GEL

Eye drops (natural tears variety, thumb sized container), 6.5 GEL



TOP TEN READER COUNTRIES

The top ten countries reading the blog within the last thirty days are in order of readership below. I see Jordan is number six. Note that if the border to Syria is able to be crossed (twice...) then I will be coming to your country soon. By that I mean Jordan.

United States, Georgia, United Kingdom, Finland, Australia, Jordan, Canada, Ukraine, Germany, New Zealand



YOUTUBE

In case you didn't catch it, the German forklift safety video - with English subtitles.

TOO MUCH PASSION

Everyone knows that Georgians are passionate people. I got to witness what happens when that build up becomes too much. There was a man angrily strutting back and forth on the street yelling at the top of his lungs. He would occasionally slap someone (not nicely) or go into a courtyard where I could not see. From there, the sound of a lot of slapping, yelling and crying would emerge. This went on for about an hour or more. Nobody called the police. Although one cop was walking by and talking on his cell phone, he took no special note of this event. He just kept walking. I'm not sure who all this guy was slapping around (though at least one older lady was a target) nor why it was happening.

It did attract a fair sized crowd. Like in Ankh-Morpork, everyone here seems to enjoy a bit of street theater.

The next day, he was wandering around like normal and nobody treated him any differently than they had prior to the incident. The people staying at the hostel were worried that this sort of thing was normal for Batumi (and possibly Georgia). I assured them this was the first time I'd ever seen it, though the witnesses reactions as they stood around observing this display told me it was not unusual.

This highlighted a major cultural difference to me. In America the police would have been called in. There would have been at least three squad cars. They might have used a taser. The man would have definately been arrested and brought in to jail. His neighbors (in America) would have thought of him as a big, out of control baby and ostracized him after the event.

Here, it is perhaps seen as a venting of built up passions. Pity about whoever he was slapping around, I suppose. I guess they weren't considered important at this time.



BATUMI BELLY BASH

When men are feeling sweaty and hot, they often take off their shirt. More often than not, everyone wishes they would keep it on. In Batumi, they kind of go half way. There are two main kinds of shirt in this, either the button up or the pull over (the head). If the shirt is a button, all of the buttons are left open. If the shirt is a pull over, it is raised to a level above the belly. Inevitably, the belly which is displayed is about the size of mine. For those who haven't seen my belly, it is like a pale mountain rising from the plains. Made of pudding. Vanilla pudding.

English travelers have told me that the only people in England who wear their shirts tied up to expose their bellies were homosexuals.

Either way, men's bellies are on display in Batumi!
Note, this is not an actual Georgian belly but rather a picture of what a belly looks like, should you not know.

The women here are not to be left out though. Many favor wearing tight shirts in order to accentuate their breasts. Unfortunately, this often has the effect off showing off a huge beer belly. I'm not sure why this is considered 'sexy' but it is common enough that it must be.

When there is a concert in Batumi, you still see this but apparently it is the only night they let out lots of the 'beautiful people' to wander around.



BOTANIC GARDENS

Went to the Botanical Gardens with Sam


The security guards at the Botanic Gardens

She really, really hates these flowers!


So did I enjoy the botanical gardens? Well, I enjoyed hanging out with Sam. The trees and such seemed well kept. But I am not really into trees and bushes. And hills. I really fucking hate hills. With how hot it is outside it is a real sweaty bitch to wander around without shade.

When we first got there, Sam was using her Russian to try to talk to the guards but swore off using it for the rest of the day after seeing Logan's 'fast talk' skill without it. And a good time was had by all.



FROM FACEBOOK

Ever been curious about just how big a stack of money is? About how much the US actually owes in a visual format? Thanks to Matthew H for this beauty.

ROLL YOUR FAST TALK...

ROLL YOUR 'FAST TALK'

Last night, I got drunk enough that I allowed myself to be persuaded to go to the casino by one of our Turkish guests. Turks really seem to love the casinos here. And the prostitutes. The fact that going to a casino told me that I was pretty drunk but unfortunately not quite drunk enough. We had a guy from Turkey, Poland, Germany and myself (American) head to the casino.

It sounds like the beginning of a joke, doesn't it? Well, the casino was but it wasn't the funny kind.

The first thing that happened was that passports are required to gain admittance. I had known this while back at the hostel but had purposefully left mine behind. Perhaps part of me hoped I would not be granted admittance. Unfortunately (in this circumstance) I am really good at fast talk. I managed to talk my way in - and avoid the bag search entirely. As one of the guys was busy getting hassled over a multi tool he tried to bring through on his belt clip, I finished up convincing the security guards they didn't need to bother searching my bag which had a couple things in sure to cause consternation to the guards. Like a knife.

After we got in, we went around and watched the desultory gambling going on. I still remember the old fashioned slot machines. The noises and lights they had along with the clink of coins added to the festive party atmosphere. Gone. You give your money to the cashier and get a paper ticket you can feed into the slot machines. Gone are the happy clink of tokens or coins. Slot machines these days are all ugly computer games. It is difficult to tell if you are even winning. So, it is quiet and dull.

The card games, dull. The whole casino, dull.

For those of you wondering how much money the casino got from me, the answer is "I didn't visit the cash window to get money". Zero. I lack the strange obsession for gambling that many people seem to have. They use words to describe it like 'fun' but I have about the same amount of fun just handing over my money to a casino employee and finding a quiet corner to stand in for a couple minutes. The end result is the same, monetarily.

After leaving the strangely subdued and amazingly dull casino, we went to a bar, had a beer at 1.5 GEL then most of us called it a night. Well, me anyway.



PICTURE TIME!

We lost two guests down this hole in one of the rooms until it was noticed. It has since been replaced with a new floor. Ironically (or due to shitty construction) the 'soft spots' on the floor are in exactly the same area as before.


Yes - some people really do eat like this. I decry anyone who says "Oh, Logan loves to smoke!" I do like it but not THIS much!


Constipated?


The ragged edge - detail...


Katino, the wonderful woman who runs and cooks the White Room restaurant.


We had a dozen eating here but the room was too small to get everyone in the picture. This is the famous 'White Room' restaurant.




DU HAST

Thanks to Chris A for this interesting link.

TEA OF THE MONGOLS

NOTE: CLICK ON TITLE OF THE BLOG TO GO TO PHOTOBUCKET TO SEE ALL OF THE PICTURES!



ICE RINK

I went over to an ice skating rink today. The lady I 'spoke' with was one of those that should stay away from charades for the rest of her life. She would lose. She kept trying to tell me that the ice rink was open - despite the lack of ice and the amount of water on the floor. Oddly enough, it seems to be closed during some of the hottest times of the year - when people are most interested in getting into somewhere cool. No sign of a Zamboni in there either.



GEORGIAN DRIVING

I watched a guy back up through a busy intersection the wrong way on a one way street. He nearly hit a family and Lasha in order to ask him directions to somewhere. I said "What kind of driving is that?" He said "Georgian driving!"



TEA OF THE MONGOLS

I found out a lot more about tea produced in Georgia than I thought I would.

All tea in Georgia was apparently set up by Lao Chin Chow - a Chinese guy brought over to do that.

I went to "Chak Vis Chai 2007" which was established in 1896. A backpacker named Adam and I went over there to see it.


Adam


When we first got there, it didn't look like we were going to get past the gate and security guards. Fortunately, Adam is able to speak some Russian so he was talking to the guards. Eventually, it was suggested that the security guards call to the director. Surprisingly, the director showed up so fast that I think he was already on his way when called.

The director's name is Chamil Bulatov ("Bu-Lot-Ov"). He is a very cool person who exemplifies Georgian hospitality. Not only did he take Adam and I on a personal tour of the factory but he presented us with several kilograms of tea upon our leaving and had us drink tea with him.

Chamil Bulatov at his desk


The main product this place makes i pressed tea that goes to Mongols. They are the only place that makes the pressed tea in blocks in the correct way. There are other places that make fakes, we were told. Here, the blocks of tea are pressed for forty five minutes - others are pressed for less. They make it in the big pressed bricks (larger than a large book or a laptop computer for those who have never seen a print book before) because it lasts longer. These bricks are a mixture of green and black tea.

Chamil Bulatov with a 2 KG brick of pressed tea


Closeup detail of a brick of tea


Ever wonder what 100 tons of drying tea looks like?


There are a lot of business opportunities for tea and ownership of fields in the area of the factory (Chakvi, Georgia - not found on the internet much) but the average businessman doesn't know about them. Or, the average businessman isn't interested in this as a business because it takes 2-3 years before you start to see a return.

The factory can even make pure black tea for about $1.20 per kilo if the amount of interest in this tea increases. From personally trying it, I'd say it beats Lipton. Also, there are no chemicals in the tea at all.

Despite the pirate bandanna I was wearing, the director asked me if I was a businessman. I said "No, I am a pirate." For better or worse, I know the word in Russian as well. That sparked an interesting line of inquiry.

I felt a bit sorry for Adam. I would say something Loganesque and he'd start laughing then Chamil would become curious as to what was said and want a translation. By the time it got put into Adam's extremely rough Russian, it was admittedly less funny. Then, I'd start the cycle over again.

Tourists are welcome to come see this (call a day in advance) though they do not have active work going on in June through August presumably due to the heat.

For any international business people wishing to contact Chak Vis Chai 2007 (the factory) the international phone number is 995593090660 or local number 593090660.

Director Chamil Bulatov and Logan


I would like to thank Director Chamil Bulatov for his hospitality and Adam for his Russian. Both allowed me to have an interesting insight into tea. And Mongols.



HOW TO PREPARE TEA MONGOLIAN STYLE

Director Bulatov was kind enough to share with us the recipe for how to make tea in the Mongolian fashion.

Add 30g of tea to 1 liter of cold water.
Bring it to a boil for 2-3 minutes.
Leave it standing for 5-10 minutes.
Strain the tea out.
Add one half liter of milk.
Bring mixture to a boil again.
If desired, add a dash of salt (or let guests add their own).
Add 15-30g of butter.
Bring mixture to a boil.
If desired, add pepper to taste.



COSTS

New (manual) blood pressure machine to replace stolen one, 28 GEL

Kahlua (only one store in Batumi has any) 60 GEL
Lets pause for a moment to put 60 GEL (two good drinking times worth of Kahlua) into perspective. For 60 GEL, I can buy any one of the following:
60 bottles of cold soda (.5 liter) one at a time, more bottles if I buy in bulk.
42 packs of ramen noodles
3 cartons of French (knock off?) cigarettes, etc.
So, although I do like Kahlua very much, it is a 'lets see how we do money wise and buy it later after a bunch of frugal living thing'.

Small thing of cold coffee I really dislike the taste of but was programmed by Starbucks to buy cold coffee when I can find it, 2 GEL

Turkish cafeteria food with 330 ml can of Fanta, 11 GEL



FROM FACEBOOK

Thanks to Kevin M for finding this gem.

STING IN BATUMI

STING IN BATUMI

While typing this, I was listening to a very old Sting singing a couple blocks away at a concert. I didn't have tickets and couldn't see anything from the street. Due to the president of Georgia being in Batumi (this is current rumor) there are 2-6 (unarmed) policemen at every corner. So, I decided to return to the hostel and type up some of my notes.

[Note: After Sting and the concert, they lit off fireworks. Being in a seaside resort town is rough. Oh, yeah.]

This stuff following starts a couple days ago:

I was out wandering around and saw a guy (still alive, I believe) being hauled off in an ambulance. From the green leafy stick in the injured man's stretcher (possibly in the man himself) and everyone looking up, I am presuming that he either fell/jump/was pushed. The only floor that didn't have people staring from it was the fifth which also had an open door. If he did drop from the fifth floor and survived it (after falling onto a tree) that is pretty impressive. What interested me is how the police were handling it. A wailing woman who I presume was a relative of the injured man was allowed to wander off. The landing area was wandered around in by lots of civilians - not roped off. The crowd eventually dispersed and I wandered off. I didn't take any pictures of the crime scene as I didn't want to attract the attention and irritation of the local police.

While I was out wandering around, I found a place that served 'haga puri' that Lasha had recommended. Despite the small restaurant, the loud music emanating from it and an uncooperative lady behind the counter who would have certainly failed any game of charades she had ever played, I managed to get this dish. It is a boat made of bread with a big thing of butter in the center as well as some cheese and a half cooked egg. I tried a few bites, paid and left.

Last night along with Sam, Fish, Santa, Iraq-Lee and Lasha we were playing a very strange game. I'm not sure if it was 'cops and robbers' or 'mafia'. There were the same number of cards as players with all of them being face cards except two which were aces. These were shuffled and then every person got a card. Hence, two people were 'mafia' and the rest were civilians. One person said "Everyone close your eyes." There was a pause then they said "Mafia open your eyes." Pause. "Mafia close your eyes." Pause. Everyone open your eyes. In this way, the two mafia people know who each other are. Then, the players launch into a big speculative conversation about who the mafia are. Eventually a vote is taken and someone must show their card. When the card is shown, the person is out. It could be a mafia that is killed or a civilian. If the civilians are whittled down to the same number as the mafia (who could tie any vote two against two) then the mafia wins. If not, the civilians win. It is an interesting game but I am not in a hurry to play it again.

Disclaimer on all of the Georgian customs, proverbs, sayings, etc - these are ones I have been fortunate enough to learn from my hosts and I could have messed up in translation and such but I got them as close as I could.



GEORGIAN CUSTOMS


When the Tamada (toastmaster) is chosen, sometimes the rest of the Supra (party party, so to speak) drinks a toast to the new Tamada.

The purpose of the Supra is not to get drunk but to talk to each other.

How to know when to drain your glass every drink - see what others are doing.

Iraq-Lee "Good drinkers are as famous within their community as good footballers are in Georgia."

If you don't wish to follow the Tamada's rules, you must leave the Supra.

During the Supras, the old attempt to teach the young toasts from the older generation.

Outright drinking contests are very rare.

A good phrase for the traditional third toast: "People are not dead so long as people are alive who remember them." - Iraq-Lee.

You aren't suppose to sip on your drink until it's time to drink.

If someone is leaving and you do a toast to them, this indicates it is time for them to leave. Timing on this toast is important.

The mother is the most important person in every Georgian man's life.

There is a correct and incorrect format for Supra toasts. You don't toast something like "I like women" but you could toast "To all beautiful women".

In a Supra, there are special poems which in themselves are toasts.

The only songs which may be sung in a Supra as toasts are special 'national songs'. These are sung with three voices minimum and are sung 'A cappella'.

If you want to instantly pick a fist fight with a Georgian man, insulting his mother, sister or girlfriend will make it happen. [No, I haven't done such a thing, I am merely recording customs I have learned about.]

Georgians respect each other and don't say bad things to people they don't know very well.

I had asked Iraq-Lee's girlfriend, Kate, about women's roles during Supras. She told me that if the Supra was close friends, the women take turns toasting along with everyone else. If it is a big Supra with strangers they just say "I agree" and drink. Generally, she said, the Supra toasts are for men. During a 'friends Supra' people just generally toast whatever is on their minds without regard to what toast has gone on before.



BEST QUOTES OF THE SUPRA

Iraq-Lee talking to Santa on women's rights: "I'm sorry you are a woman."

From Sam who is a stand up comedian came up with "Sexism - it's like racism light."



GEORGIAN PROVERB

A drunk man is a truthful man.

The son is a mirror of his family.



GEORGIAN SAYINGS

"Pants friends" are friends since you were small kids.



INFORMATION BOOTH

The number I got from the information booth for a doctor was disconnected or no longer in service. The only place to stay they are really willing to tell you about is a hotel a friend of theirs owns. In other words, beware of the information you get there.



SANTA IS COMING TO TOWN

Actually, she's already here. A lady from Latvia is here and I can't pronounce her name but it sounded like 'Santa'. I said 'Santa'? She said "Others do call me Santa." After making sure she was OK with that, I decided to call her 'Santa' as well. Talk about a memorable nickname!



BATUMI HOSTEL

I am extremely happy today as I have been hired at Batumi Hostel. My wage - free bed for as long as I want to work here. Pretty much the only work I'm doing is chatting to people as they have someone else who is going to be doing the cleaning. I can't imagine a better set of circumstances for me.



SOME ON BATUMI

This is an interesting CNN story on Batumi (the town I'm living in) for those interested.



NOTHING TO DO WITH GEORGIA AT ALL

Something I was told about is 'the German Houdini'. One guy doing a girl from behind while his buddy is hiding in the room. While the girl is suitably distracted, they switch and the original screwer goes outside, knocks on the window to get her attention and waves. [Aside from the possible prison time, I can see this one going very, very wrong.] Thanks to Fish for enlightening me on yet another very strange sex thing that undoubtedly has been pulled.



COSTS

Concert in which some trumpeter I've never heard of and with 'very special guest of Sting) I believe the tickets are 400 GEL. Naturally, only scalpers have them now as you'd have had to buy them months ago.

'haga puri' (small) 5 GEL, large 8 GEL

Fairly expensive restaurant food including potatoes, meat kabob, weiss beer, 15 GEL

Side of mayonnaise, .9 GEL

BATUMI AND BACKGAMMON

HANGING OUT IN THE HOSTEL

Hanging out with Karolis, Vytas (AKA Vyts) and Tadas and talking about the lack of crime in Georgia. Vytas told us about someone stealing less than half a bottle of water from him in Tbilisi. We were all moved by his tragic tale of loss.


I'm not sure of the proper spelling of his name but it is pronounced "Iraq-Lee". He is one of the four owners of Batumi hostel. He came in to visit for a week. Last night, we finally had a Supra and he was Tamida (toastmaster). In the past Iraq-Lee has described his English as 'not very good'. Last night, I thought he did an impressive job as Tamida. This leads me to wonder 'In his native tongue, this guy must be a really amazing toastmaster'!

For the readers, sorry not more dramatic stuff is going on right now but this is my 'hunker down and try to save money' period. I'm thinking I'd like to do this until say mid September then go through Turkey, (possibly Bulgaria), Greece and into Egypt to winter. Fuck snow. I have zero clue what to do after the winter is done.



BACKGAMMON NOTES

Backgammon in Turkish is Tavla ("tau-lah").

For those keeping track of regional rules differences in Backgammon, it seems to be a regional difference for Georgians that 'in your own house' you cannot kill then move with the same piece. By own house I mean that area your pieces go to before getting moved off the board. The Turkish folks I have played with thus far have assured me that attacking then moving with the same piece is OK. That's also how I'd learned to play from Kevin originally. This situation doesn't present itself often but it is interesting finding out about these regional differences.

In addition to at the hostel where I've been playing Lasha when he has time (and he's a tough opponent) I've started playing backgammon at a Turkish coffee house/hang out. I played a Turkish guy (older guy) named Abdulla three games to five points each and managed to take him. He is a lot more knowledgeable than I am in the game but I am lucky with the dice. The downside of that place is that the chair I was sitting on that day was a low plastic stool. By the time the games were done, my back and legs were on fire so I had to hobble off slowly. It was probably more funny to watch than do it.

Every time that I've been there, I've had to fight (very politely) to buy my own drinks. I've had people ask why I do so instead of letting other people buy them for me. This is because (assuming I get to stay here for awhile) I'd like to make it a hangout rather than just mooch off of people.



TURKS AND GEORGIANS

From conversations I've had with them, they seem to have a mutual dislike and distrust for each other. I'm not sure why. Probably historical stuff.



SHOES

I'm working on wearing my flip flops more as they are more comfortable and I've noticed that I'm already starting to wear out my walking shoes I purchased in the Czech Republic. Personally, I think it's probably a good thing that I'm already wearing out shoes - it shows I'm making an effort to walk more.



COSTS

Train ticket to Tbilisi:
First class 40 GEL
Second class 23 GEL
Third class 13 GEL

White room, 8 people eating a lot, beer flowing - 50 GEL

In Turkish restaurant - tea .5 GEL, coffee 1.5 GEL, Fanta 2 GEL

Haircut (not gotten yet but priced) 5 GEL

New cloth strap flip flops as the plastic strap plus walking a long, long way in the old ones was destroying my feet, 9 GEL

Baklava from a Turkish restaurant, mediocre, four bites, 3 GEL

TLG DOESN'T LOVE ME

CLICK THE TITLE FOR PHOTOBUCKET LINKS



WHEN DETERMINING WHAT TO BRING ON A LONG VOYAGE

A good question to ask yourself is 'how hard is it to replace'? As an example, when I was in the states, I had a bunch of extra cigarette lighters when I was in the states. I hated to throw them out so I stuck them in the pack. This is an item that you don't care about the brand (or really, the quality so long as it makes a bit of fire) and they are dirt cheap in most places. Not a good thing to pack extra as they're widely available. A different example is deodorant. When you're sitting in the states, you've got your favorite you always buy. Realize that it is probably not going to be available (or if it is it could be expensive) in other countries. Just dealing with the loss of that particular brand will allow you to pack much lighter. Also, you get the pleasure of experimenting with new stuff as you go.



THE 'GREAT' UNDERWEAR QUEST

For those wondering if the underwear I purchased when I was with Oleg are working out - they seem to be so far. I'll let you know if they disintegrate in the wash. We might have a winner.



MORE DUTCH

I met a guy from the Netherlands named Wander Apoteka. That's like 'wandering drug store'. I consider 'wander' a great name for a traveler, and he has been to a lot of different places. He's also a really tall (2M+) and thin guy so if you see anyone like that, ask them if their name is 'Wander'.



THE DOCTOR IS...OUT...

Lasha didn't know of any English speaking doctors in Batumi so I decided I still had a couple cards to play. I went to the information center. I figure they'd have a list of English speaking doctors. This city is trying to become a tourist center. I figure there is nothing that would ruin the reputation of a city more than having something like a tourist get sick and die here. So, I went there to request their list of doctors.

They reacted in much the same way as you would if a stranger approached you with a carton of eggs and demanded you make a pyramid out of them.

They suggested I go to a clinic called 'Medina' via 'marshuka' (a small bus with an insane driver common in Georgia) because they are 'sure' they would have an English speaking doctor. It is an expensive private clinic. I asked if they could just phone 'Medina' and ask but at first I was told this was impossible because 'there was no money for the phone'. This means it is a long distance call and they can't call it on their office phone. I really had no desire to go for a ride on a crowded marshuka for an hour on her being sure of anything because I was very unsure of her. The fact that she had not one but three phones sitting in front of her was a bit of a sore point with me as well.

I gave the lady a level stare and then quietly asked 'What would you do if a tourist was seriously ill?'

I got stared back at for awhile as this question oozed it's way slowly through the ladies brain. She may have been struggling with the fact that she had a book lying out she obviously wanted to get back to. I say obviously because it was in front of her.

I began to relax into my chair and make myself comfortable.

I'm not sure if it was me looking like I might become a fixture in her office that prevented her from reading her book or if she just figured out the answer on her own that finally got her mobilized. Or it could have been the fact that I pulled out a small hard bound book and began to take furious notes (for this blog) and she got the wrong idea from that. I'm OK with people sometimes getting the wrong idea.

She passed the problem one level up to her boss.

Her boss somehow magically added money to her cell phone. It made a chirping sound to let us both know money had been added to it. Her boss also asked me what the problem was.

Now, in America, when someone comes to you and says they need a doctor you don't ask why. It is considered personal. What if the answer was something like 'genital warts'? Not good to hear about. [Note, I am excluding nurses and such from the people who should mind their own business on this one. Also, I had specified a 'general practitioner' when I had originally talked to the inept lady at the information booth.]

At heart I am a bastard sometimes (or more) and I was thinking about saying explosive diarrhea that I could feel getting ready to burst even as I talked to her but I told her I was looking for immunizations for Africa and Asia. The boss seemed satisfied with this answer and went away. [Note she made various promises to find a local English speaking doctor in Batumi as well but this never occurred. Since I seem to have gotten an answer I am OK with that.]

Through use of the newly charged cell phone, the local 'information lady' (who seems to be an expert in marshuka routes but little else) had me call and talk to a cardiologist in 'Medina'.

He told me that of course they couldn't help me in Batumi - they had nothing like that here. That's OK - I figured it might happen but I wanted to check. He did give me the name and number of an Irishman working in Tbilisi who might be able to help me.

Lasha said I can use his phone to call. More on this later.



TLG DOESN'T LOVE ME

So, while I was feeling frustrated and irritated anyway sitting in the information office, I decided I should knock another irritant out of the way and asked about teaching Georgians to speak English. The lady knew a different information booth I should go to about an hour away. I asked if this would be a local call. She grudgingly admitted it would be though the walk would be 'good exercise'.

The Erik Cartman retort was stifled quickly. It was painful, but I did it.

Keep classy, I told myself.

I smiled.

Well, that was the intent. I swear to God, it was the intent.

I think what she saw is all of my teeth. She may have thought, "Oh God, he is so fat - I'll bet he's killed and eaten a lot of people, now he is going to do it to me too."

She grabbed the phone and began to dial.

After talking to the lady from TLG to find out the possibility of me being able to teach Georgian policemen English (cool) I discovered that they had absolutely no desire for me to do so. I wasn't even looking for money - just pitch in for an hour or two every day for awhile. Make new friends, that sort of thing. Nope. The only people they have an interest in are those that signed contracts for six months or a year. What the fuck.

So, I don't think I'm going to be teaching the kids or the cops German here.

Especially since TLG never responded to my e-mail.

Christ, I hate bureaucratic crap.



PRICES

Mediocre baklava, per piece: .8 GEL

Box of noodles that fills up my tiny (inner, obviously) belly, 1.2 GEL

HEAVEN AND THE SWISS

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The German group includes the following: Kai, Oliver, Max, Hardy and Vitik (who is actually from Poland traveling on his own).
Note - my memory of exactly who I was drinking with on a given night may be a bit scrambled...

Prior to drinking, we were feeling a bit peckish so we went to a nearby restaurant with the German group to have a Weiss beer. While we waited for our food, a beautiful aerial display of fireworks was set off. According to Lasha, no permits are needed in Batumi to set off fireworks. Hence, whenever some person or organization feels like it, they light them off. This makes for a lot of interesting - although noisy - stuff to see in the city.

After the restaurant, we needed alcohol for a really good drunk. We went to another 'mom and pop' restaurant and were discussing the different options. The owner of the store insisted we taste some vodka from an unlabeled bottle. Naturally, everyone did. I don't think it had anything to do with the different brands we were considering (I think it was Cha Cha - homemade vodka) but we certainly bought alcohol shortly thereafter.

We took our two purchased bottles to the hostel. Lasha, master of hospitality, produced another bottle and a half. There were no survivors.

After a night of drinking,
morning came and I hiked off to find some breakfast. I went to the grocery store. Although it was open, they were unable to do any business for several hours at this busy store - because the cash register was broken. One broken cash register manages to stop the steady flow of customers and the line that is usually at least two deep. If I was the owner, I'd be strangling kittens and farting fire with rage. Maybe he was. The lack of charred felines told a different story. So, I went to one of the hundreds of small 'mom and pop' grocery stores that exist on nearly every block to pick up what I thought were two containers of drinkable yogurt. One was, but the other was an unholy fusion of apple and pineapple. I discovered that not all things with 'apple' in their name really go together.



LASHA FINALLY TAKES A BREAK

Well, I finally think I convinced Lasha that taking a break now and then is OK. Everyone else from the hostel (including Lasha) took off to go clubbing. I'm hanging out in the hostel to keep watch over it and tell any hopeful people that come it is full. I don't think anyone will come but it's still important to have someone around rather than an empty building. I personally would hate to be forced to stay in the hostel 24/7 so I'm glad to give Lasha some free time. Ironically, while I was 'running' the hostel (and by that I mean sitting on my ass watching South Park) one of the other hostel guests told me about a possible job opening that will come soon in a new hostel opening in Batumi. I recalled Adam's words in my mind about keeping yourself open for new opportunities so I said I'd be happy to meet with her and see what's up. I don't know if it will go anywhere or what the offer is but if I end up getting a free bed, food, etc out of it I don't see that as a bad thing. We'll see what happens.



SPECIAL CAMEO APPEARANCE

I got to meet Lasha's friend "So-So" (AKA Joseph). He is a really funny guy who speaks great English. He has a problem in that he has a really big vineyard and a lot of wine that he wants to move. I discussed my ideas with him on it such as 'harvest festivals' and things that tourist and 'tourist workers' would be interested in. We'll see what comes of it.



THE GREAT UNDERWEAR QUEST CONTINUES

I was doing my 'daily constitutional' ie wandering around, usually lost. I was working on talking to people about trying to find a new watch. The one I brought with me is pretty bad and getting worse. I ran into a great guy named Oleg. He is a retired sailor who now runs a small shop in the bazaar which sells children's shoes. His family (or village) owns a vineyard. He offered to help translate for me. After checking a couple of nearby places and not finding what I needed, we went for a ten minute walk (or more) to a different part of the huge sprawling bazaar. Note, this is not the 'big bazaar' - just a local one. After we at last found a watch I asked him where we could get a beer. I had no interest really in drinking a beer but I wanted to thank him for spending so much of his time helping me out. He showed me the place but absolutely refused to let me buy him a beer.

He insisted on buying me one instead.

He even asked if I was hungry. Seeing where this was going, I quickly denied any hunger urges at all least he make me feel more in debt by buying me food as well. Afterward, he took me back to where I came from and gave me the gift of a bottle of wine from his village.

This is the kind of over the top hospitality that makes this a country I'd highly advise travel in.





THE MAD SCOTS

The insane Scottish group consists of Annaka, Hannah, Rebecca and Chris (a guy). With them travels Lilly from England who they were working on converting.


Annaka said that she could really use a weiss beer. Fortunately, I know a restaurant nearby that serves it (cheaper than you can get it in Germany) so I took the group there.

We had a round of beer.

Although I was suppose to be going with Robin (Switzerland) and Stefan (Germany) to the White Room at 17:00 the Scots exercised some sort of mind control on me and I found myself ordering another weiss beer at 16:30.

As I was cutting my visit short with the Scots (and as of yet unconverted English) and making my way out of the restaurant, Robin tracked me down. So, I went back to the hostel with him and picked up Stefan. We went to the White Room. They liked it a lot.




SOMETHING FUN IN BATUMI
I'm guessing this marks the place you're suppose to do it. Or you can be a dick and just keep slowly walking your girlfriend by it...



HEAVEN AND THE SWISS

Switzerland if Logan ran it - or 'another reason Logan is not allowed to run countries'.

While at the hostel in Batumi, Georgia I had the pleasure of meeting Robin from Switzerland. From conversations with him as well as some demented dream I had (which I would guess is sent by God) I managed to piece together the following.

Everyone knows that Switzerland is famous for their knives. The quality and popularity of their ingenious knives is known throughout the world.

Most people have heard of 'William Tell'. Although people think that he used a bow to shoot an apple off of his kid, it was actually a crossbow. William Tell apparently off'ed some guy in the 1500's (read as assassinated with a crossbow) that pleased his countrymen mightily.

What is not known widely is about is the following: God really hated a schmuck named Gessler. Gessler is the guy who threw his hat on top of a pole and told the people to bow to it. This really pissed God off. [It was due to Tell disobeying this order that Gessler imprisoned him then forced him to shoot the apple off of his kids' head or both of them would be put to death.] So, when Tell bumped this Gessler off, God told Tell that he would reward his country - in four hundred years. [People often say it is a divine mystery why God would wait four hundred years while others believe he is a huge procrastinator.] You see, not many people talk about Tell's son. He lived! And more over, he got married and had kids who had kids and so on. The line broadened and changed name several times. Eventually, a person named Wenger was born. It was four hundred years since the Tell's Arrow shot and then the prophecy was completed. God showed Wenger in a vision (as well as some other guy but whatever) what he wanted done. Due to Tell pleasing God so much (God really hated Gessler), Wenger was able to make a device whereby God would know the new chosen and by their carrying of this device they would be permitted into heaven.

And so the Swiss Army Knife was born.

It is usually the duty of the godfather of the child (or his parents or other relatives) to give the child his first Swiss Army Knife. Thereafter, he will bring shame to his family name should he loose, damage or use the saw from the knife.

Without it, God shall not recognize a member of Tell's country and put him in the long line to Heaven. Without this knife, he must take a number just like everyone else.

Should a Swiss person lose his knife overseas, he will not be admitted back into the country because if God doesn't love him, they sure don't.

And this is Robin (who is Swiss) proudly displaying his badge into Heaven. Robin's father is named Walter which is eerily enough William Tell's son's name.



PRICES

Drinkable yogurt, 3 GEL
Shitty juice, 1.4 GEL
White Room for five, everyone stuffed, 34 GEL
White Room for three, everyone stuffed, 21 GEL
Cheap digital wristwatch (which I immediately hand the band cut off of), 10 GEL
German weiss beer, 4 GEL



FOR THOSE JUST JOINING US - PLACES LOGAN HAS BEEN THUS FAR

United Kingdom, Netherlands, Germany, Czech Republic, Slovakia (very briefly), Hungary, Bosnia, Serbia (briefly), Romania, Moldova, Ukraine, crossed the black sea via ferry and Georgia.

LAND OF BACON

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BATUMI

Batumi is a very easy town to navigate. If you head north or west, you will eventually hit the ocean. While wandering around, I do get a few long, unflinching stares from Georgians. This is probably because I don't quite blend in. Other than America, Land of Bacon, I'm really not sure where someone my size would fit in. A friendly 'hi' or 'hello' usually changes the stares to shy smiles. These are, I think, an openly curious people. No, pretty girls don't look at me like that. Ever. Anyway, Batumi seems to me to be a well laid out city. Rather than the 'spaghetti pattern' used in some older towns - where the roads follow ancient wanderings of chickens or some such - Batumi is laid out on a grid. I have no idea how 'prepared for western tourists' the transport hubs are - I suspect they're not - but the road signs are in both Georgian and English. That helps immeasurably. Despite hordes of 'do gooders' and others descending upon Georgia to teach English, it doesn't seem it has really paid off in people who can speak English yet. I was told that due to school being out now it would be quite impossible for me to find a part time job teaching English so I'm just hanging out and talking to people. I haven't yet started contacting Couch Surfers in this area to meet up for cups of coffee and such but that time will come eventually. As Adam would sagely point out, I have plenty of fucking time.

Although I had a mild stomach pain for the last couple of days, it seems to have succumbed to the Georgian cure of bubbly mineral water and a light diet. We've gotten enough new people into the hostel today that I suspect there could be heavy drinking involved tonight. It's a dirty job but someone's got to do it.

This is not a culture that appreciates a good fart. I'm pretty sure there are a couple (which I can't remember) that take the passing of gas after a meal as a sign of appreciation of a good meal. One day I shall find them and they shall make me their king.

The police presence here seems strong but unlike other countries I've been to, they seem relaxed here. There was one whose body language told me that as I prepared to cross the street he was thinking of giving me a jaywalking ticket. So, I reversed directions and went back to the sidewalk. He shrugged and wandered off.



THE 'GREAT' UNDERWEAR QUEST

To my fat brothers and sisters - pack extra underwear. I found a shop (not the bazaar) that sells XXXL. They're not. And at 10 GEL for a try, I was leery.



BEWARE THE ORTHODOX CHURCH

I was hanging out with Andrew from Australia and we went in to check out an orthodox church. Some random guy in there told me (via sign language) that wearing shorts in the church was forbidden. Despite two women wearing them in the same church. The church itself was a fairly typical one and had nothing that really stood out from other churches so we left. Strange rules that don't apply to all equally.



GEORGIAN CLEANLINESS

Compared to other countries in Central and Eastern Europe, Batumi (Georgia for those who have failed to note where I am yet) is quite clean. There is liter around but the Georgian people seem to be diametrically opposed to the Czechs (in Prague) too littering. Oddly, there aren't nearly enough strategically placed waste bins around to throw out all of the garbage so I'm guessing they take it home with them. It does make for a cleaner city than many.



GEORGIAN BODY ART

The Georgian people have a high tolerance and disregard for such things on foreigners but will mock other Georgians who sport piercings and odd hair styles including the Sleeztak. [For those new to my blog, the Sleeztak is a hairstyle that makes the hair on your head into a point - like a penis. And yes, it makes you look like a dick.]



DRINKING IN GEORGIA

It doesn't look like I'm in what I have termed the 'Kahlua zone'. This 'zone' includes countries where you can easily buy Kahlua. I suspect that if I found a specialty liquor store I could indulge. I might at some point. However, I am following Adam's sage advice on this. "When in Rome, get drunk what the Romans do." [Note, I have left off the part where he added 'because it's cheap you silly bastard' because it doesn't sound as good.] So, I'm sticking with vodka, beer and wine (which are really cheap) right now. It's still a lot of different stuff to drink. My beloved Kahlua will have to wait.



STARBUCKS IT AIN'T

When I was in a grocery store, I found a can of chilled coffee. I always liked the Starbucks variety:
and the stuff they had in a much shorter can (1.6 GEL) so I said 'what the heck' and tried it. Take a pass on this - it was watery and not very good.



TRAVELER'S LORE

When I get to Turkey, one hostel I should check out is in Dalyan, Turkey called "Bauhans Youth Hostel". It's about 23 Turkish lira per night ($14) to stay. This includes breakfast. They also have a swimming pool, pool tables, and all kinds of stuff. The downside is that they are strict on the 'no outside food/drink' thing because that is where they make their money. They serve dinner for about $10 per person (but it is suppose to be good) and sell water, beer and such at a markup from what you can get it fro the grocery store. Sounds like kind of a good news/bad news thing but it could be good for a few days.


From Turkey, it is possible for me to get into Northern Iraq. This is where the Kurds live 'Iraqi Kurdistan'. They apparently really like Americans there and you can get a free stamp (visa) for Iraq. This probably pisses off the other government of Iraq but I'm thinking it could be an interesting way for me to visit it at some point. Go hang out with the Kurds and see what's up.


In Iran, the people of this heavily oppressive government blow off steam in quite a wild way. According to Gary (Ireland) two married people host a party at their home as it is impossible to do it at a hotel or some such without being discovered. The party involves homemade alcohol, drugs and sex - a normal teenage romp in the USA but I'm suspecting the kind of thing that could get you stoned to death there. I found this interesting but personally am not eager to attend one due to the high risk.



FUNNY YOUTUBE VIDEOS

Thanks to Lasha for sending me this and this.



PRICES

Reading light that straps to my head, 12 GEL

Train to Tbilisi in a 2 person coupe, 23 GEL (seems low, maybe a special deal)

The hostel named 'Why Not', 25 GEL/night

Turkishs in Tbilisi, 30-50 GEL, +20 GEL for scrub and massage

Open air Ethnographic Museum for English tour guide, 10 GEL to see homes of Georgia's past. Located in Tbilisi