TIBILISI TRIP

DEDICATION

I'd like to dedicate this wall of text to Adam who was concerned that text was going to be replaced with my slick videos.



GEORGIAN CUSTOMS

Kelecki: This is a short supra, only 2-3 hours, given for a funeral. The drinking is faster. The food is different than what is norally served and includes fish and sometimes beans. When the rice (plau'ed) is served, it means the supra is ending, time to go home. As a side note, Georgians believe that bodes should return to the earth from whence they came hence cremation is very bad here.



COUCH SURFING WEIRDNESS

I had chaged my couch surfing location to Batumi, Georgia. Since I've done so, I've received four messages. Two were of the normal 'lets meet up for drinks sometime' variety. One was fro a lady who lived in the kind of country that the wages of Georgia looked like a big step up. She wanted me to find her family jobs and a place to live. The fourth was from some guy who claimed to be an 'experienced traveler'. He wanted me to figure out his countries visa policy with Georgia and find him a cheap place to stay in Tbilisi for five days. Apparently this 'experienced traveler' had never heard of embassies, consulates or the internet. I told the first two messages to look me up at the Batumi Hostel and told the last two (in as classy way as possible) to fuck off. I never heard from any of them again. I'm really not sure if the difference between getting no messages when I was in Virginia vs strange/going nowhere messages in Batumi is better but at least I know their message system is working.



GEORGIAN CUSTOMS

I was talking to Irakli who didn't feel I understood Georgian customs. Au Contraire, Mon Frère. Because I choose not to live under a certain custom does not mean I do not understand it. For example: If a Georgian man wants to drink a lot, he will buy a bunch of alcohol and invite lots of people over to help him drink it. Drinking by yourself is unheard of in Georgia - aside from clinically troubled people. For me, I don't really have enough money to buy a lot of people alcohol. I also prefer to often drink alone. If I make an ass out of myself, it is in private. Unless I get drunk an write a blog or something. I really have no opinion on which way of living is better or worse. I don't think it's for me to decide. I do have a very strong opinion on how I will live though. By my own code and my own customs. If I find a custom in a different country I like, I can strive to adopt it. Otherwise, when I leave the country unwanted customs will fall off me. Some won't even affect me when I am in the country.



LEAVING BATUMI

David had taken off with his girlfriend so it was just Irakli and I. I didn't really have any goodbyes for him that losing something like fifty straight matches in Backgammon couldn't say so I kept it brief. I didn't really feel like I got to
'click' with any of the last batch of guests. I did feel I was pretty burned out on hostel work. The whole concept of working at a hostel now would cost a lot more money to whoever had me there than it did going in. Adam knew that when he advised me not to work at a hostel but just own one, but I still think it was a valuable work experience. I met a lot of great people through the hostel and my Facebook friends page grew considerably. Who knows - some day, maybe I'll get a chance to visit some of them in their own countries. Maybe even run into some on the road. But I'm Really not interested in owning a hostel at this time. In the future, who knows.

In short, I had Irakli call me a cab and I hopped into it and took off when it arrived - just as I've seen lots of travelers to the hostel do.



TRAIN TO TBILISI

The Ukranian rail system is better than the Georgian one. The lower seats still have the nifty secure 'roll my fat ass off of this bunk if you want my shit' storage I loved from the Ukrainian train. I was disappointed that the bottom bunk was seats - not really a bunk. It was pretty hard and about one step up from sleeping on a shaking park bench. Also, be aware that you have to get your plastic bundle of sheets and such from the conductor - they aren't laid out on the beds prior to your arrival.

There were the usual mix of people on the train - the noisy young people, the old people who lug huge bags that don't fit down the isles of trains and expect others to help them, the strange, the creepy and the harried.

In my compartment, I was careful to book a bottom bunk as I don't think my fat ass could climb to the top. Two rather heavy ladies joined me in the compartment. I was very curious as to which would make the climb. Honestly, I wanted to catch that on video but I figured it would be indiscreet. But damned funny. So, I just went to bed and slept. Chivalry died with equal rights, despite claims to the contrary. In the morning, I discovered that the ladder to get up to the top bunks is well camouflaged.

Surprisingly, just after departure, the TV's in all of the cabins switched themselves on simultaneously and began to blare loud, annoying music. The conductor was going around with a remote lowering the volume. He turned ours off. Thank God. I have no idea why that is there on a sleeper train.

The doors of the rooms also lock from the inside. This did give me a nasty shock because the ladies decided to lock the door while they 'freshened up'. I had bad visions of them slashing up my pack with knives yelling "Don't give us the top bunk? Die bastard!"



IN TBILISI

As we were headed into Tbilisi, we went through a lot of really run down area - the footprint left behind of the USSR. I wouldn't mind going back there on foot sometime to take a bunch of pictures to send to the folks making Fallout 4 of new 'post apocalyptic' stuff they can use for the game. Hell, I'm surprised Hollywood hasn't used that stuff for some scenes. My guess is that it is too dangerous to work in and around.

I was told to get to Friends Hostel, it would be 7-10 GEL. Accurate. It wasn't easy to get the cab driver to find/acknowledge this street. Cost me 10 GEL and I even was out of it enough to toss in a 2 GEL tip. Dumb it was, especially since the 'foreigner tax' had already doubled the price.



FRIENDS HOSTEL FIRST IMPRESSIONS

They have a good sized common room downstairs. Upstairs is a large dormitory room with perhaps fifteen beds in one room. They have a couple private rooms that seem to be very booked. They have the kind of gear lockers I like - the ones that fit the entire backpack in. Unfortunately, the first one I tried only appeared to lock but didn't really. Fortunately, I'm the kind of person that checks. I think the worst thing I've found in the hostel thus far is they have their computer hooked to big speakers. Instead of headphones. This is a horrible move in my opinion, but I just got here. But that sort of thing won't keep me staying as long as I'd thought I was going to. A day or three before I move on. But I appreciate the complimentary bed they graciously are giving me while I'm in town. [This hostel is owned by the same guys who own the Batumi Hostel.]



BREAKFAST IN TBILISI

I went to a restaurant, determined to have eggs. I was trying for something simple like a cheese omelet. They told me that would be half a GEL. Per egg. That's still pretty good but any mention of 'cheese' caused them to try to default to the 'cheese plate' at 10 GEL. Not a chance of that. So, I eventually managed to get scrambled eggs and some sort of potatoes which sucked. The scrambled eggs were fine - they were so greasy that the plate could have been used for a demonstration of 'friction-less surfaces'. Apparently, this country hasn't heard about the war against cholesterol. Since that was the first egg meal I'd gotten in a couple months, I ate it and liked it. God knows it slid down my throat easily enough.



EYE DOCTOR EXAMINATION

My eyes had bothered me a bit so George took me to the biggest hospital in Tbilisi. It looked like a pretty run down 'County' hospital in the states. The doctor wanted me to do a lot of stuff like pinch my eye lids as part of the treatment because he saw some inflammation in the lid. Since this directly contradicts what I've been told by American eye doctors, I'm not going to be doing that shit. I've got a prescription for some fairly expensive (40 GEL) crap to put on my eye. The pain pretty much went away a couple of days ago. I had just wanted to see if my iritis was acting up. Since it isn't, I'll try a bit of 'wait and see'.



PLANS

I have no idea how long I'm planning on staying in Tbilisi [food is expensive here!], where next I will go in Georgia or anything. I'm keeping it loose but attempting to stay here at least 11 more days till the end of Ramadan. I'd like to avoid running into a lot of alcohol, nicotine, sex, food and water deprived Turks if I can. Better to see them happy and satisfied.

My buddy and local guide, George (one of the six approved names for men in Georgia) will steer me toward some interesting stuff so I put myself in his hands.

I have also been contemplating Adam's words when he said that 'traveling doesn't do you any good if you miss all of the good stuff'.



GIVE ME THAT OLDE TIME RELIGION

According to one woman I was talking to on a marshutka (like a short bus) she said that prior to Christianity, Georgians worshiped either wine, or a god of wine. Hard to understand her. If this is true however, it gives a lot more weight to the whole Supra thing and would help explain why it is as it is. I'll have to check into this more later.



COSTS

Second class to Tbilisi, 23 GEL
Eye doctor consult, 34 GEL



VIDEO TIME

Rather than having the videos embedded into the blog, I'm just going to have links so that it loads faster. I tried to look at my own blog and on the shitty internet they have in Batumi, it took forever to load. Videos are just an extra thing I'm doing when I am out and about but the typing is still the main thing. Extra warning! All of these videos are extremely low quality. If you want to bitch about the quality, you can save yourself the hassle (and my 'I told you so') by not watching them. I'm just putting them up for completeness.

Tbilisi shot

First steps into Friends Hostel

Introducing George!

Some strange buildings in the distance - what could they be? (Warning - found out my camera doesn't do well in low light - at all).

DANCE, DANCE DANCE

DANCE, DANCE, DANCE

So I walked across town to see Elena's (lady I met via couch surfing) dancing thing. So, I wandered over that way. I was working on avoiding spending money on a cab. Since I didn't know how long it would take to get there and such, I wound up showing up an hour and a half early. Elena seemed surprised I walked that far (me too) and seemed pleased I showed up. After that, a series of mis-communications. I asked if there was a place I could hang out. I was tired from my walk and hoping to be told about a chair I could go sit quietly on in the building somewhere while waiting for the time to tick by. She said 'perhaps after the performance'. So, I was banished from the nice cool building into the park across the street. She had mentioned various tourist stuff on the other side of the park I could go see but I was more interested in sitting quietly, even if it was outdoors. So, I waited around until it got close to the show time.

Eventually, it became time and I went in and sat down. I got a lot of curious looks. The show came and went. It was a lot of people who were in very good shape doing graceful things. What I was really looking forward to was the after the show time. While I do occasional cultural things for the experience of having done them, I'm not what anyone would call a cultural connoisseur. I was pretty much there to be able to have a nice chat with everyone after the show.

In America (note, I realize I'm not in America - this is why people keep speaking Russian to me) I've been to some plays and such in the past by invitation. After the play is the hang out time while the actors unwind and eventually everyone - actors, their friends, their acquaintances, the strange guy who doesn't speak a language anyone can understand, all go out to sit and drink somewhere.

This doesn't seem to be the case here. Apparently, it is a time for close friends and family only.

So, I was dismissed from the building and decided to wander off to see what else was going on in the city.

The answer was 'not much'.

So, I retaliated by sending out yet more couch surfing 'coffee or drink' invitations. I will find a way to talk to more people...

In later talking to other Ukrainians, they tell me the culprit may be American movies. When the girl takes the hero out, they invariably have sex. I'm not really planning on having sex in the Ukraine (or anywhere else for that matter) so I was frankly floored by this. I can see how people might be leery. I just want to talk to a table full of people and I'm happy. Sigh.

I suspect also there could be a cultural difference. For example, when I hung out with Diana and Suramon (the dark wizard) in Romania, I met their families, their friends, their business associates. I was made to feel very welcome into their lives - taken to run errands and so on. Here, it is a lot more segregated. I had asked Sylvia who runs the hotel about it and she related a story of how a lady from elsewhere who lived here never ever got invited out by coworkers for a drink or whatever after work despite getting on well with all of her co-workers.

I can respect that sort of cultural difference, but for me, meeting up with more people is what I'm here for. Fortunately, I've got a lot of the world left to look for where it is the opposite way.



SERGEY, ROKSANA AND DAVID

I met up with a couple - Sergey and Roksana who were both reporters. He covers politics and sports, she does human interest stories. She wanted to do a story on me as apparently, I am the only person in Odessa who does not own a cell phone. Interesting and weird. Sergey said he might have someone who could use a native English speaker to help teach the kids English. We'll see what comes of it. They were both nice folks.

David is a guy from Belgium who knows a bunch of languages (even by European standards) and learned Russian just for this trip. He is wanting to see the world and decided to start with Europe. Cool guy.



LOST IN TRANSLATION

Due to poor translation skills, side dishes are widely called 'garnishes' on restaurant menus.



NOTEBOOKS

I've finally gotten another one filled up so I will be sending Jana two this time, as soon as I find the post office tomorrow. I've been told it is close and no problem to find. We'll see how it goes.

In the Ukraine, they have a system for sending packages. First, you take the stuff you want sold to a little old lady who has string, tape and brown paper. She makes a nice envelope for you. The cost is about 9 UAH (a buck). Then, you take it over to the mailing counter in a different room within the cavernous post office. Cost to mail two notebooks to Jana, about 45 UAH.



NEXT JUMP

It looks like as far as couches to sleep on, Sevastopol (Ukraine) sucks. I'm going to probably look up people who might be interested in hanging out when I get down there.

I've got my train ticket down there ($21, second class sleeper. Yes, Pete, I specified a bottom bunk) for Saturday. Sadly, it leaves close to midnight.



COUCH SURFING

I'm also going to start working on Istanbul afterward to see if I can spend more time with locals. As of the time of this writing, I've sent out about 100 couch surfing requests to people in Istanbul. I've gotten a couple snooty letters back from people who didn't like a form letter. Tough. There is an amazingly low response rate on this. I haven't been keeping track of the exact numbers, but this is how it seems to go. Send out fifty requests. Five come back to 'maybe', depending on the time. Once I narrow down the time, I might have one or two that can accommodate me. Anyone who sends out ten or less expecting results will probably be disappointed.



COSTS

Siberian dumplings (a kind of ravoli which supposedly had three different kinds of meet in them) and baked in sour cream, 49 UAH. It was 300g of food which I couldn't finish and rated as 'OK'.



TOMORROW

I was told about an orphanage - I'm going to go check it out. Nike could always use more workers - right?

THE BIRDS AND THE BEES

PLANS

I'm spending a week wandering around the city of Odessa. After that, I'll probably head down to Sevastopol, Ukraine. I'm not sure when yet though I should probably start sending out CS invitations and stuff. After that, probably Istanbul. I've heard that although Georgia is indeed cheap, it is dull dull dull (also mentioned by Kenmal from Turkey who is staying at the same hostel).



ODESSA

I've been wandering around Odessa with this song (start at :26) stuck in my head. Now, you can have it stuck in yours.

From a distance - it was closed by the time I made it over there - I got to see a stage where they were having a dancing contest for kids.



SAILING ADVICE

I'm putting this in here partially for my notes and partially in case someone else wants to go sailing - for free. From what I've learned from Adam (owner of the hostel) it is not all that difficult to get aboard with zero experience. They look for those people - because they don't have to pay them. You stand watches and stuff. I can do that.

So the reason they hire crews is to move around the yachts and such for the various races that the rich participate in.

Antigua sailing week, starts in the last week in April. The month before that, you need to be in Antibes in France where they only have one hotel and apparently it's horrible and expensive. The yachts and such stack up there and then all sail across the Atlantic. Two-thirds of the are going to Antigua. That is the beginning of the Caribbean season.

Buy yachting magazines. They have information on when the races are on. Crewing companies who advertise in them though usually want experience.

You can also deal with 'Bare Boat Chartering'. Basically, this is where a bunch of people (or one guy) rents out a boat with no crew and sails it around. The job of people looking for work with this is to go get it from whatever harbor it was left and bring it back to where it should be, etc. For this, Adam advises to head to Turkey, Greece, etc - every major marina - where they rent boats.

In September, boats in California (San Diego or LA) are headed to Mexico and (via stops) eventually for Costa Rica or the Panama Canal.



NOTE ON UKRAINIAN CURRENCY

I've been told it's as useless as tits on men outside of the Ukraine. Get that shit changed to Euros before leaving. Please, God, let me get it changed before leaving!



ANOTHER AMERICAN CUSTOM

The BBQ. Here a typical American BBQ's hot dogs. [Thanks to Christopher B for finding this traditional picture.]



COSTS

Weird throat spray with honey in, 20 HUA

Olympus camera I didn't buy, 1000 HUA

Samsung 5x zoom, 2gig memory card, case, 800 HUA which I did buy because my piece of shit has finally given up the ghost after consuming some batteries really amazingly fast and I'd feel like an absolute twat doing all of the traveling I'm doing without having a camera. It's not a beautiful thing but it is light, uses a LI battery and such. I'm hoping the 220v power doesn't fuck me later, but I suspect it will.

Juice box to celebrate spending 800 HUA on a camera, 4.5 HUA.



INTERVIEW WITH DAKSH ON INDIAN CULTURE

[Disclaimer - these are all paraphrases and the best I could do from my notes. I really could use a film crew following me around.]

India is between it's traditional culture and westernization. It has rapidly become westernized due to getting a lot richer as of late. Also, TV and the internet give easy access to how things are done in different countries. In addition, Indians living in America come back to India and tell people there what is going on in America. The generational gap may be one of the biggest things pushing the new change. People are beginning to question why they should continue to do things as they have in India.

Twenty five years ago (or so) - the father and mother had the children get married when they were under ten. Until the kids grew up to approximately age 21, they stayed at their own homes though they would be permitted communication and such. When the kids became 21 or so, they would then live together.

Twenty years ago (or so) - Arranged marriage, the couple got married at age 21 and saw each other for the first time on the night of the wedding.

Year 2000's or so - the mother and father choose the spouse, asking the kids if they liked each other first but no pre-marital sex.

Today - if the couple is certain they will marry they can have pre-marital sex. If they decide to break it off early however, it could get messy.

Because you have no history in an arranged marriage, you have a lot of discovery to make. Everything is 'new and shiny', so to speak.

Something that can be a real problem is if one of the people in an arranged marriage has a 'true love' outside of it. This happens a lot.

Dowries are optional today.

Daksh has a very organized mind - it was interesting to speak with him.



THE BIRDS AND THE BEES

You always hear about the birds and the bees but when I've seen birds having sex it is usually the hopping 'frolicking' sort. Today (before I'd replaced my camera) I saw something different. One bird was standing on the wings of another and pretty much pinning it to the ground while going at it. I'm sure in bird speech he was saying something along the lines of "Take it bitch!" or "Take it you dirty bird!". I'd never seen that before in my life. When he was done and hopped off the other bird nearly get stepped on while recovering. My comment was "I thought that bird was going to get fucked...Again..."



COUCH SURFING

One of the options you can take during couch surfing is to just sign up to 'meet up for a drink' - it could be tea, coffee, a dozen shots of vodka, whatever.

So I had sent out some invites for getting together for a drink. One girl said that she had a bad experience with couch surfing and didn't even want to get together for a drink. I'm thinking that's a profile she should delete.

In order to put people at their ease, I like to have a neutral meeting site and let them choose where we are going. Unless I am feeling in some sort of danger going to where they want, I'm good with where ever. Outdoor cafes on main streets to me seem safest.

I'd sent out about a dozen or more invites and got two people writing back interested to meet. I'd detailed the first meeting in the previous blog, the second was with Julia and Vlad.

BTW - I would suggest writing people for getting together for a drink as a 'low risk' way to get acquainted with couch surfing.



JULIA AND VLAD

[Note all quotes are paraphrased. I attempted to pull what I could out of my increasingly beer soaked notes. I have also put a J: for Julia quotes and a V: for Vlad. If they both said it or if I'm not sure who said it, no letter appears. Things surrounded by brackets are from me.]

J: The best thing in Odessa is the (sense of) humor and attitude toward life.
V: The best thing in Odessa is the mix of cultures - Greek, Italian, Bulgarian, Polish, Jewish, Russian, etc.

They do Bruderschaft (Brotherhood) here as well.

In April, only in Odessa they have an April Fool's day celebration. This is even a holiday from work.

Almost all of the bureaucratic structures are corrupt. This is because they have uncertain futures so they're getting what they can now.

In Odessa, every family has Jewish roots. Much of the humor are anecdotes where in Jewish people are the brunt of the joke.

J: Old people love Russia for the stability it gave. Their futures were assured. Plus, the propaganda helped. Morality was higher - they didn't think about their own money - they thought about their country. People who didn't were ostracized. They had children's organizations called "The Pioneers" which taught kids to respect old people, etc. Nowadays, it is more anarchy.

(Under communism) people's lives weren't as good but their security was better.

[Where is Ukraine going?] Every election brings a new government. Nobody is talking to the people. The government is doing what they want.

The European Union has too many bail outs.

Ukraine should go it's own way while being a good neighbor with the countries in the region.

In western Ukraine, more people speak English. They work in the European Union as there is no work in western Ukraine.

[A weird custom in the Ukraine] After a party, when everyone gets ready to go home, you must 'na-ken-yah' [spelled phonetically as my keyboard rebels against Cyrillic]. This is a last drink - regardless of your condition. You must drink one last drink to respect the owner. It's vodka. It doesn't matter if you are on the verge of throwing up - you have to have this last drink before going.

Getting drunk is a sign of weakness.

As of last year, drinking in public places is forbidden [by law].

Hitchhiking within the city usually costs money - about what a taxi does. Hitchhiking between cities normally does not. This is seen by people as a legitimate way to make some extra cash.

V: Saying "the Ukraine" does not mean a 'suburb of Russia'.

Odessa was the southern capital of the Russian Empire.

Due to the USSR, people here want to speak and write in Russian.

Kiev is more than 1000 years old - although [due to being bombed all to shit] the buildings are new.

Georgia may have the best wine in the world.

Moscow is (or was recently) the most expensive city in the world mostly due to the prices of real estate. Also, the food and such is expensive. In Odessa, a one room flat is about $300 per month. In Moscow, $1000 per month.

People in Moscow are cold and uncommunicative. Nobody seems to be from there. Everyone goes there just to earn money. The people are self centered. Other cities [in Russia] are different than this - like St. Petersburg.

Three to four times a year, Odessa has some sort of festival involving knights.

Visit Balaclava in Sevastopol. It has an 'English seashore' and was built during the Crimean war.

To get from Odessa to Simferopol (the capital of the Crimea) you have to take a night train (8 hours, 100 HUA). From there, you take a bus to Sevastopol (2 hours, 25 HUA).

Always bargain in the bazaar.

[Julia and Vlad were one of those fun young couples that has a lot of energy. If you wanted to go walk around the city and have them explain everything to you, I'm sure they'd totally be up for it. They were also OK with sitting around and talking once they figured out I was a crippled bitch. They know a lot of stuff about their city and as a bonus (to me) they had useful information on Turkey as well. It was a pleasure to hang out with them!]



TRAVELER'S LORE - ISTANBUL

(This information came from Julia and Vlad who had spent several months in Istanbul).

Beware of restaurant scams in Istanbul - they do 'bait and switch' scams. It is very common and a meal can end up costing quite a bit. Like a hundred euros. Eat at the small and shitty looking places and on the streets.

Visit the eastern side of Istanbul - it is a lot cheaper (inc restaurants and hostels). Take the ferry there - it goes every twenty minutes and is less than a dollar.

The buses in Turkey sound magnificent - take them instead of trains. They have good roads and a good bus infrastructure.

In Turkey, you bargain everywhere - even restaurants.

JOURNEY TO A BREAK AWAY STATE

ENTER CHISINAU, MOLDOVA

Being that this is not the first time I've been to a foreign country, I carefully avoided all of the taxi drivers at the train station. They charge extra. I went wandering till I found someone and showed him the address I had written of a hostel. We haggled a price. He got under way and I had to change my mind. We haggled a new price. When he got me to where I was trying to go, he tried to argue for more. We had a heated debate until he gave up and shooed me from his cab. Later, I realized we were arguing over a dollar. Doh.

Before coming to Moldova (or Transnistria) bone up on your Russian and Romanian skills. Or get phrase books made. The amount of English spoken is pretty slight in Moldova, less still in Transnistria. If you don't prepare, you can practice your sign language and play the 'guess what I'm saying' game. I play this game a lot.

After dumping my pack in the hostel (and locking it to the bed) I went out to search for food - my one abiding pastime. I found a restaurant near where I am staying that I got to play the 'select some random shit off the menu because it's not in a language I recognize game. I ended up with Borst. I had no idea what it was and went through a lot of confusion when I was asked what color I wanted it. I chose red because it seemed interesting. It was a lukewarm red soup with meat - probably chicken - in it. Kid of sucky.



RETRO CINEMA

Later, when I was wandering around, I went to a place called the 'Retro Cinema' cafe. They had a beggar there who spoke excellent English. He wanted money. I said to him "You're dressed better than I am!" He got the look on his face like "Well, shit - you got me there." and shuffled off without another word.

I got amazingly lucky at Retro Cinema and met up with two people. Doron is a real estate tycoon from Israel who owns properties here in Moldova. Vadim is a banker and helps out Doron with his local dealings as Vadim is from Moldova. They were talking in English and I shamelessly got into the conversation. We all ended up sitting at the same table and talking. These are some really friendly guys.

Vadim knows interesting facts about Chisinau such as the building across the street from the bar/restaurant/beer garden we were at was where the first mayor of Chisinau - Karl Schmidt - administered from. Back in the 1960's and 1970's (?) Chisinau was 60-70% Jewish. Vadim also told me that the tap water is heavily treated here and has a lot of chemicals in it. I immediately stopped asking for tap water to try to build up 'good bacteria' in me.

Vadim also gave me the address and name of a contact of his (Vadim is a 'fixer' in so far as he knows a lot of people who can get things done but I believe all of his businesses are legal) who would be willing to cash in my BAM (Bosnian money). I was pretty excited about this.

One thing that Vadim told me about was the restaurant "La Placinte". It serves 'traditional Moldovian food'. Later I sought it out and the one I found was only a bakery - no interest in eating there so I moved on to another restaurant owned by the same guy called "Andy's Pizza". What was even more interesting than the rather mediocre food that Andy's Pizza served is the story behind the business. Vadim told me that a few years back when the president was still in power, he gave Andre (owner of Andy's Pizza) the choice between giving the president (or his family - not sure) half of the business or being framed for drugs and losing everything. It was an offer he couldn't refuse. I'm told this sort of thing is normal in communist countries. To this day, the ex-president still owns half. Given that they put corn on the pepperoni pizza, this is probably a fitting punishment. Having lived in NE Illinois for so long, I became a pizza snob. Considering Andy's was packed, I think financially he's doing OK.



QUEST FOR THE BOSNIAN MARK CASH IN

I'd asked the lady who runs the hostel what time Chisinau opens. She said 9AM. The next day, I was up and moving at 9AM to go find the currency exchange guy Vadim had directed me to. Everyone else in Moldova had assured me they would have nothing to do with the imaginary country of Bosnia or it's filthy money. I headed over to the corner I'd been told to go to and found not one but three currency exchanges there. The first two were no help and refused to deal with me. Seeing that I was running out of options on the third one, I showed the guy Vadim's name and phone number hoping for a 'oh, Vadim sent you!' Instead, the guy called Vadim. They had a conversation then the currency exchange guy took me back nearer the corner and into a grocery store. Hidden in the back of the grocery store - yet another currency exchange. It didn't open for another two hours. So, I wandered around seeing stuff and drinking a weird juice (25 MDL) and eating a weird roll bread thing (4 MDL) for breakfast.

I was absolutely baffled at just how many currency exchanges are in Moldova until I got told that one of their big exports is labor - and everyone sends money home.

They have a big open air bazaar along with a plastic roofed one that sells electronics. The water and stuff trapped in the plastic would occasionally spill on people passing under it, bringing back fond memories of Derek's best NERO event ever where the 'caves of chaos' were set up.

By chance, I ran into Doron wandering around. I hailed hi and he invited me for coffee at McDonald's. So I went. I don't really count coffee as eating there.

After we chatted for a bit he wandered off to do more business on his properties. I went back to the store as the guy should be there. He wasn't and the lady who worked the store part had no idea where he was.

So, I decided to hang out in front of the store. I watched a couple of birds swooping down and squawking loudly. I couldn't figure out what was going on till I examined the humans on the side walk. It turned out that one of them was - rather painfully for the bird - holding one by the wings. He would the repeatedly strike it to make it squawk as well as piss off the other birds. This was a source of great amusement for him and his buddies. I'm sure they were all supporting PETA. I got a picture of the man with his unwilling pet.

Eventually, Oleg, Vadim's friend showed up for work. I managed to get taken through the wash by getting my 170 BAM converted to 50 EUR and 10 EUR worth of MDL's. Not good at all and there was haggling and phone calls involved but it only increased it from it's original offer of 50 EUR up to 60 EUR. Nothing close to the 100 EUR I was going for, but better than using it as emergency toilet paper. Considering what a pain in the ass it is to dump, I'm feeling lucky to have gotten that. It really teaches me a good lesson of get everything changed to EUR before switching countries.

If I were staying here longer, I'd buy a better map than the one provided by the hostel. It looks like it has undergone heavy repairs, a fair amount of doodling and the creators of the map included large advertisements which obscure many important areas and part or all of various street names. I carried it around for a couple days because the hostel owner had gone through such trouble to get it for me. I didn't want to hurt her feelings. Eventually, I quietly returned it claiming I've memorized the city.

I'm also wanting a better compass. Who the fuck wouldn't mark which direction was north? Really? I go through phases where I think it's the red arrow. Later it's the green arrow. Still later it's neither.

I decided it would be nifty to go watch 'Pirates of the Caribbean 4' in 3D at the local movie theater. It would be kind of cool when someone said "Have you ever seen this move?" to be able to say "Yes, in Moldova." I went to the movie theater a couple different times during the same day and got to listen to a lady trying to tell me Russian is an 'international language' and that is why the movie is dubbed in Russian. Holy hell. Talk about stripping the personalities from the actors. I don't watch any movies that are dubbed - subtitles are much better. Apparently, all of the movies in this country are dubbed. I'm so out of here.

On 'international languages' - because a large portion of the population of the planet speaks a language (like Chinese) it doesn't mean it's an 'international language'. There is only one 'international language' and you're reading the blog in it. Welcome to 'being educated'. Unless you are a native English speaker - then 'welcome to being lucky'.



MISCELLANEOUS STUFF I LEARNED ABOUT MOLDOVA

Half of the country is communist, half is democratic. Due to the weird way that they have their system set up where you need a certain percentage of the vote (I think 55%) for the president rather than just a simple majority, they have had no president for the last two years.

They don't stand in line or 'que' well. They are actually quite petulant about it. If you aren't crowded in close to the person behind the counter you are trying to get help from, others nearby may assume you just don't want help badly enough and will cut in front of you. It worked better after I learned I needed to fill the space and throw others evil 'I'm fucking busy here' looks.

Chisinau is pretty much a gritty, newly emerging city - or appears to me to be that way economically. The amount of English spoken here is pretty bad. My daydreams of heading into the outlying villages to teach English went the fuck away after I got bored with their main city in just a couple days.

In the last few countries I've been in, I've asked men (when women were not present) what is best about your country and often the men said 'all of the pretty women in our country'. This is interesting. I have yet to encounter any country where someone says "Our women are hideous. Women from country X are much more beautiful." Not sure what. For me personally, pretty women are not a huge draw. Unless I'm getting directions from them, they pretty much ignore me. So I care about them...why?



THE MOLDAVIAN RESPONSE

Since I have to ask for directions quite a lot, I've had ample opportunity to study what I term the 'Moldavian Response' to a request in English for help.

Response 1: Put up hands palm outward, wave wildly while shaking head and hurrying off. I call this the "Don't talk to me, I don't want a file with the KGB!" response.

Response 2: Tell you anything you want to know - in either Russian or Romanian.

Response 3: Tell you what you want in English - usually horrible English but getting the point across is all that matters.

Response 4: Take you to the place you are trying to get to. This small percentage is what makes these people special.



MY FIRST 'BREAK AWAY STATE' - TRANSNISTRIA

It's looking like tomorrow (Wednesday) I'm leaving Moldova and headed to Odessa. I wanted to head over to Transnistria to check it out before I went.

My good luck was in full swing as I met a guy named Stan on the bus over there. He was literally sitting right next to me so that I didn't have to do my 'American thing' of yelling over a few rows to talk to him. Or maybe it's a 'Logan thing'. Either way.

This guy works for the New York Stock Exchange (NYSE) and was knowledgeable in lots of areas, especially those dealing with his country of Transnistria.

Some facts he shared with me in no particular order:

Transnistria is pretty much owned lock stock and barrel by the ruling party (or relatives thereof) via the 'Sheriff' company. They own everything from the internet access, phones, grocery stores, etc. They make an assload of money.

Stan told me that this is a 'garden area' due to it's temperate climate. Because of this, the Soviets decided to make a bunch of factories here. I don't get that, but whatever. The Soviets then sent all of the raw materials here to be processed at the factories. A few years ago, whoever was in power as president said something along the lines of "We don't need these factories - we can buy it from China for less." Economically, this is a WTF are you thinking move. Apparently, things cost double from China, the quality is shit and all of those jobs were lost.

Moldova use to be one of the richest countries in Europe and now it's one of the poorest. I asked Stan why and he told me 'mismanagement'. The people in power are trying to get personal wealth, not help their country.

Sadly, Stan had to get off the bus in the city center. I wanted to be able to leave the city so I had to ride the bus on to the bus station so that I would know where it was. When I got to the bus station, I also took a picture of it so that I could harass locals into telling me where it was by pointing at it and being insistent they tell me. I figured if I was really lucky, I'd be tailed by the KGB and get assigned an agent who spoke English so I could make him into my unpaid tour guide. That didn't happen.

Transnistria was a lot like Chisinau in a lot of ways. It might be a bit cleaner - perhaps it's enforced. I know when I was there to make sure I was on perfect behavior. They still have secret police! They also have soldiers in camouflage and a hell of a lot less people speaking English. Part of the reason they 'broke away' is because of the language thing. They stubbornly stick to Russian here. Note that I didn't expect everyone to speak English. According to Stan, young girls were my best bet for English. Boys didn't want to study English - they could get a job in the factory instead. Huh.

After getting some MDL converted into rubles (yes, they call their money rubles - I think they want to be Russian) I went looking for food. I found a pretty upscale looking place with cloth napkins and such - but not at all expensive.

Naturally, the menu was in Cyrillic. Well, shit.

I made my fingers into horns and mooed until she pointed at something. I enthusiastically agreed and she went away to get it made. At least she didn't roll her eyes at me.

I'm just hoping fish don't moo around here.

I ended up with an extremely tender and tasty stake. With a black hair in it. I hope the hair is free. It also came with some sliced pickles, sliced tomatoes and black bread. Cost, 41 rubles.

Oddly enough, they did stock Kahlua there. Huh!

For something to do, I decided to set myself a task. I would find and buy bandanas. It wasn't easy until I found out the Russian word for them was...bandana. After that, no problem. Got two for 15 rubles each. I should have probably bought more.

I then decided to go through one of these Sheriff grocery stores. It looked like a normal grocery store - other than the fact they were playing Christmas music in May. I picked up two drinkable yogurts and a think of Eastern Europe toilet paper. There is no roll in the middle - it's toilet paper all the way through. Good for carrying (along with one I purloined from the train) in your pack for those "Oh shit" moments. I don't remember 'drinkable yogurt' in the states but it is popular here. And not very tasty. I'm not sure why I keep buying that shit but there it is.

So I had those three items in my clutches and was headed through the express line. Turned out to be three items maximum. I know because I picked up a cigarette lighter from their impulse items selection and the lady wouldn't ring it up. She made it clear that three items meant just that. I wonder if that would fly in the states. Probably not. We have more choices and like to go through the ten items or less line with two grocery carts of shit.

Despite a series of inaccurate directions from the locals, I eventually managed to make it back to the bus station.

Total, I think I spent less than $20.

I would like to point out you must buy your return ticket in rubles. Period. it's not expensive.

Sadly, I discovered that I still had some rubles on me after I left Transnistria so I got to go through the pleasure of having my pants pulled down during getting them converted back. I'm glad I didn't convert much, I probably only lost four dollars of my eight. All is well.

Sadly, as soon as Stan had to take off, the place got a lot less interesting. Honestly, I was tempted to just turn around and leave at the bus station but I decided to stick it out and explore.

I really need not have bothered. There isn't really anything to see there. I think the somewhat nerve wracking border crossing was probably as interesting as it got but even they directed me (just me) to an area where I could smoke. The same guy who helped me with my smoking problem even recognized me when I was headed back and winked at me.

I probably walked four or five kilometers. For me, this is a pretty good walk. While I was walking around, I found a couple old guys with a scale who were charging half of a ruble to weigh you. Their main customers are fat girls who are busy trying to fit into clothing they shouldn't be trying to wear. Anyway, I discovered I weigh 126KG/277LBS - down from the 300LBS I had started at and I suspect some of the fat has turned into heavier muscle. I'm good with that.

I saw a decent bit of Transnistria but felt that I wasn't really seeing anything interesting. It was much more interesting through Stan's eyes.

So, I left Transnistria after spending just a few hours there. Bah. If I'd gone out to meet up with Natalya and talk to college students there, it would have probably been much more interesting. It is sad that vague plumbing problems kept it from happening.

As a side note, they don't have physical walls keeping people in Transnistria but from what Stan was telling me, there are social walls. It is believed that the rest of Moldova is 'disgustingly dirty' and people say 'why would you want to go there?'



FUCK THE DENTIST - AGAIN

I finally decided to go to the dentist to see what is up. I decided not to fuck around and just took a cab to one that I had looked up on the internet. The lady at the dentist spoke English with the skill of someone who had been forced to attend class but hadn't really wanted to. I told her that I wanted to get quoted on how much it would cost for an x=ray of my full mouth plus a possible difficult molar extraction. I always opt for the 'difficult' so that they can't fuck me on the bill later. After deliberating with the other lady, she said she'd look first and afterward we'd talk. I agreed. She wet to work tapping on my teeth as though one of the would slide open a concealed door to reveal hidden treasure. After this had gone on for awhile, I stopped her and said "Are you hoping for a scream of pain or something?" "Da" she said. "It's not going to happen. You're just starting to irritate me." She agreed and suddenly went right back to it. I swear she did.

I countered by closing my mouth.

"What are you doing?" I asked. I believe this showed a remarkable amount of self control. In the states, I would have said "What the fuck are you doing, you crazy bitch?" but I am a guest here so I wanted to truncate my answer. She explained that she was tapping the teeth again. I demanded to know if they could do an X=ray. "Not here" she admitted. Really? A dentist office with no X-ray machine? i swung my legs off of the chair and announced "I am outta here!" Fuck it, I'll get that shit checked in Odessa.



BACK TO THE BAR...

Afterward, I headed back to Retro Cinema (Mihai Eminescu 55, tel 22-54-48). Note, they have no English menu. This country is ill prepared for tourism. A menu that doesn't include the international language is about as useless as wet toilet paper. If you think about how little real work that is to put on there and how much income it could net, it is sad.

I tried the trick of making horns with my fingers and making cow noises again. The beef here wasn't as good.

I went there to have a glass of my favorite wine "Izabela (rosu, demi dulce)". It is a light and fruity wine.

I'm not sure wy cigarettes are so amazingly cheap here but in preparation for me flipping countries tomorrow, I bought a couple cartons. $20 for two cartons. Wow.



COSTS

Apple juice in a restaurant, large glass - 18 MDL

Borst soup, bread (yeah, they charge for that shit) and two apple juices - 70 MDL

A pack of smokes or a soda - your choice, 10 MDL. That's a buck, people.

A Greek (kind of, not really) restaurant with upscale prices - grapeleaves, 400 MDL. It was sucky.

Smaller soda than you can get from a vendor from an upscale restaurant, 16 MDL

Retro Cinema - glass of wine (nice wine) - 20 MDL

Retro Cinema - Greek (not really) salad - 28 MDL

Retro Cinema - shots (50ML) range from 30 MDL for Pina Colada, 35 for Kahlua, 60 MDL for Absinthe.

Retro Cinema - deserts I don't understand, 18-29 MDL

Taxi to anywhere in the city - for locals according to Vadim 35 MDL. The most anyone has tried to charge me was 40 MDL. I stormed off angrily and walked for a kilometer to another cab before realizing he was trying to rip me off a buck. Doh!!

Andy's Pizza - Pizza 'supreme' (it's not) - 52 MDL

Andy's Pizza - 310g banana split, 35 MDL

Andy's Pizza - Tiramisu Sunday 260g - 40 MDL (I eventually broke down and had one - awesome)

Andy's Pizza - Tuborg beer 9which tastes like Coors - aka 'watered shit') 22 MDL

3D movie, horribly dubbed in Rusian, 40 MDL



COUCH SURFING STATUS

So far, I've had two great experiences and the rest were either 'sorry' with words around it or set up and then fell through. Aside from one which I aborted. My current opinion on it is that it can indeed work - but you have to send out an assload of invitations.

I've sent out twelve requests for Odessa - we'll see if any of them come back with anything.



CUSTOMS OF MOLDOVA

When you are looking for something a store doesn't have in stock and wish to ask the salesperson about where to find it, assume the question (regardless of the actual one you are asking, along the lines of 'do you know where I could find this?' to actually be "Do you have any hidden under the counter or know anyone who if you will refer me you will get a kickback?" If you assume this, it makes their next answer of ignorance make more sense.

INCIDENT AT THE ROMANIAN BORDER

TRAVELER'S TIPS

A group of cheerful Canadians I ran into in Belgrade who were on their way to Bulgaria to do nature activities taught me this important traveler's tip - if you have a group of people and don't bring a deck of cards, you may end up playing the 'hand slap' game. For two hours.

Always carry a roll of toilet paper! Really!

Always have hidden money and a back up plan for more money.

If there is a chance you will visit Romania, tell your banker - specifically - that you intend to visit Romania.



WELCOME TO FIRST CLASS, BITCH

The train... Dirty. Dingy. Graffitied. One of the seats is broken. One of the micro sized tables is broken. The luggage rack is missing some bars. Someone has stolen some of the cheap mirrors from the walls. One of the curtains has been ripped off of the window and lies atop the luggage rack. The windows haven't been cleaned in my lifetime. Welcome to the first class compartment of the train. Although the outside is clearly (clearly!) labeled second class (as was the whole train), the conductor assures me that this is the first class compartment. I asked him if he was sure. Without so much as glancing around he told me he was.

The bathroom is worse. You know why the toilet seat can be raised? It is because men are notoriously bad shots. If you are on a bumpy train, it gets worse. The toilet seat in the first class bathroom is bolted down so it may not be raised. Or presumably added to someone's collection of stolen toilet seats. There are no paper towels, no toilet paper, no running water.

At one of the stops, a guy came in and stood in the cabin looking at me. I nodded happily at him and waved him toward a seat, motioning that it was fine for him to sit down. Smile and nod. He eventually said "I am Serbian customs official." I smiled and nodded some more. A uniformed cop then came and stood behind the customs official in the door. I nodded happily at him. After staring at me for a long time, he asked for my passport. Sleep deprivation is not a good thing for border crossings. This non-uniformed official was also the first guy to ask if I had anything to declare. Is that your bag, he asked. After assuring him it was he asked what was in it "Clothes and stuff." I told him. I had remembered that Matt L. had used "and stuff" to cover a severed hookers head that he was toting around in his luggage. I figured "and stuff" was safe to cover my medicine, computer, etc.

I had also gotten a 'register with the police/authorities' card from Serbia. It was not examined in the same way as it's Bosnian counterpart wasn't. I suspect the requirement for this document is another old hold over from the communist days. According to Romanian customs officers, you need to register with the police only if your stay exceeds forty days.

After leaving the Serbia customs official shaking his head and sighing at me (with much the same expression Pete often used at me) the train rattled and ground its way over to the Romanian border.



INCIDENT AT THE ROMANIAN BORDER

A couple of the Romanian customs officials came into my 'rustic' cabin. After inspecting my passport, they took to pulling out the seats, presumably to see if anyone was hiding under them. We found a cracker from the 1950's. I wasn't sure who would be sneaking into Romania and so I had guessed Gypsies (aka Rom). Usually, everything bad is blamed on them.

There was also some guy with what appeared to be a sniffer of some sort. A box with a long tube coming out of it that could presumably sniff out things. From his body language he had either become very bored using it or the sniffer was just to freak out the uneducated smugglers. I still have no idea what this box thing is for.

I then heard from the next compartment a woman doing the weeping, pleading talk. I couldn't follow it but I guessed (correctly as it turned out) smuggling. What confused me is that although they had found something they didn't immediately haul her off the train. This was confusing to me. Eventually, they did haul off the tearful woman who was clutching several large rectangular shaped cloth bundles. She looked like the stereotypical Russian grandmother (Babushka).

Customs then decided to move everyone away from the car the grandmother had been in. I got moved back to second class. Second class was better than first class by a good way. My guess is some idiot hooked up the cars in the wrong order. Since it appeared the train was going to lose not one but two cars, everyone got a bit more squeshed together. I got stuck in with three people who spoke no English - or any other language that I spoke.

And then we waited.

And waited.

For hours.

Those who say train travel is 'romantic' (or 'cool') haven't done it in central or eastern Europe.

This meant that I've missed my train connection and would be late to Sam's. Sam, in Romania had given me his phone number to get into contact with him. The phones in this part of the world don't take coins at all - they take calling cards. Calling cards that you have to buy from certain vendors only. Not the kind of thing I can do at the border.

There was more talk (from the snippets I got and talking to other travelers) about customs maybe unhooking the train cars but it didn't happen.

I kept waiting to hear a single gunshot and then be told it was OK to move the train on. But, perhaps I have romantic ideals of the 'good old days' of communism. Speaking of communism, being that i am old enough to remember being there and stuff going on at the time, my only thought about the communism that people are seeming to remember with 'such fondness': Restricted travel and they had to build a wall (and land mines etc) to keep people in - not out. To enjoy their wonderful communism.

So, as the passengers were sitting around bored out of their minds, I was talking to a Serbian guy who had managed to injure himself with his earring somehow. He actually knew what the old woman had gotten busted for - cigarette smuggling. I was baffled. Apparently, there is a big price discrepancy and some people use this sort of 'smuggle 4-6 cartons of cigarettes, spend hours of work and risk possible arrest in order to make a minimal profit.

And for this I got to stand around for over two hours and miss my connection. I can hear Travis yelling to the customs inspectors in my mind: "Are you fucking kidding me?"

Since I hadn't spent hardly any time in Serbia, I decided to ask the Serbian guy a couple of questions about it. I asked him 'what is best about Serbia'. His initial answer was 'nothing'. I pressed and he eventually came up with a tennis player people rather liked and the fact they have many pretty girls there.

Eventually, I saw the same old woman (grandmother is a term I reserve for old ladies I don't want to hit with a car) who had been hauled off weeping hours before being allowed to reboard the train. She looked smug. Either her crying had affected the customs officers or she was actually a witch and had cast some sort of spell on them. Either way, the train soon was cleared to leave.

Here's the really amazing thing - all of the people back in the nicer second class cars then stampeded back to their shittier first class cars. Un-fucking-believable.



TIMIOSARA, ROMANIA

At last, I'd made it into Romania.

I haven't slept since Bosnia. Just keep that little fact in mind. Couldn't get any sleep on the trains, none for me in Belgrade. No sleep. For over twenty four hours. [Note, this clock eventually got up to over forty some hours.]

The train station and area around it reminded me a lot of the first class cars on the train. The danger level during my six hour layover was a bit higher than usual.

The cops (or are they armed security guards?) traveled in groups of six.

And my bank card seems to have stopped working.

And the nearby currency exchange refuses to change over my Bosnian Marks (BAM).

And I don't have much money.

I need money to get the next ticket to continue on to where my couch surfing contact Sam is. Oh, this is going to be a rough one.

Fortunately, I had an ace in the hole. I had a hidden away $100 bill. I'm not sure what I would have done without that. Seriously. I used it at the currency exchange in order to get money for the ticket and such. It was a close call. [In fact, now that I have no more ace in the hole I should probably try to buy some more American money just in case this shit happens again. While money from a particular country might not work and my ATM card might again not work, US cash hasn't yet fallen to such a level that people laugh when you pull it out. Maybe soon, but not yet.]

I'm not sure why my card had stopped working. I guess when I told them 'activate it for the whole world' they read that as the 'whole world except Romania'.

So - train station. After midnight. Most of the services I need - closed. No where to buy a telephone card. I even learned the words to buy one but everyone who I was told does sell them assures me they don't. So, I can't call Sam. Super.

So I'm hanging out at the train station waiting with some of the other people that are waiting on trains. Also, I am waiting with luggage thieves, beggars, homeless people and a few over the top insane ones. Super.

And nobody at the train station seems to speak English. Only one lady spoke a little German but it was a very little. She was very nice and wanting to be helpful though. Everyone else was of the 'you are in our country, learn Romanian' who worked at that train station.

The danger level was high enough that as I sat on my piece of cardboard I had found shivering in the cold with both my jacket and sweater on that my mind wandered back to a time twenty five years ago when Roy, Hunter and I were traveling together. It was just after the wall had come down (just after) and we were in some train station of a country that either still was communist or had just literally thrown off the yoke. For some reason that escaped my mind, I had climbed into my sleeping bag while we all sat around waiting. At that point, two drink cops wandered up. One of them had his pistol out and was gesturing around with it. The police were in uniform and staggeringly drunk. You know, when you are in a zipped sleeping bag confronted with armed men who aren't necessarily noticing you but might at any second, your options don't look real good. You are in a big cloth tube. You can try to slowly and silently try to move the zipper down but that shit takes a lot of time. You can try to struggle out of the backpack hole but it's really obvious and may attract attention. You will probably just freeze up and wonder if any motion you make might attract attention. You might want to pull your sleeping bag slowly over your head to decrease your chances of getting noticed. But you won't want to because you want to see. You want to know right away "Am I completely fucked?" So you will probably do what I did and just lie there and look at the drunk men with firearms and wonder what will happen next.

The train station in Timisoara felt just a bit - just a portion - like that. There was a fair bit of danger. It could have been the gang of twenty something years old that had a guy trying to beg from me to see how much (or in my case) how little money I had. It could have been the men screaming at each other and throwing empty beer bottles provocatively close to each others feet. It could have been that I was over thirty hours (by the time a fair bit of waiting had gone by) without sleep and my paranoia level was tweaked.

At the train station, they had a 'waiting room' where there were chairs against all of the walls in the square room. No other furniture - nothing in the center of the room. Everyone sat in really shitty chairs along the walls. Everyone was asleep. I went in there eventually when I was so tired and cold that I didn't mind the noise of many people snoring or the smell of a lot of people sleeping. Including many homeless people who apparently used this as a shelter.

It's even a bit more gritty than the train's first class cabin.

I must have dozed off because the next thing I know, one of the three witches (as I'd named the cleaning crew) was poking at me and babbling at me. Attempting to tell her I didn't understand in five different languages, no effect. Eventually, I got the point that they were kicking everyone out of the room to clean it. At 03:15 hours. Checking my watch, I discovered that I had literally gotten about 7 minutes of sleep. Groovy. So, the three witch cleaning crew service mopped the floor. Their mopping did absolutely nothing to help the floor, but the smell of the disinfectant was strong enough to temporarily block out the smell of 'humanity'. Unfortunately, some guy who was lost in his own world playing music and falling off of the chairs in turn as well as a guy and a girl who were the only ones talking in there managed to keep all but the most stubborn of sleepers awake.

Aside from the train I entered the country with, I haven't seen graffiti on any of the others. That strikes me as 'odd'.



CLUG AND SAM

After the endless night, the train to Cluj showed up. I was told this train had been designed by the French. It was aesthetically very nice although the seat hurt the backside much more than the Soviet train design did. It was like the French guy had never ridden a train but designed them based on what they should look like from the outside.

So, I eventually got to Clug, bought a phone card and called Sam. Apparently, taxis are pretty cheap here. You can go across town for a few dollars - no big deal. So, I went over to Sam's place.

Sam owns a two bedroom (one is an office) apartment on a quiet street in Clug. His apartment is one of the neatest I've ever seen. A place for everything, everything in it's place. I am working on not fucking that up. Sam is a super nice guy who is studying to be a doctor. Lots and lots of medical books around. He even has a balcony I can smoke on. I've got to say, it's a really nice experience for my first time using the 'Couch Surfing' website.

I borrowed Sams call for several 'What the fuck is going on with my card' calls to the states. Apparently, Romania is automatically blocked as a potential scam country. The nice lady I eventually got through to couldn't provide me with a list of the 'automatically blocked scam countries' but assured me that if I could give her the names of any countries I might be visiting, those countries would not be automatically blocked. Hopefully. I then gave her a list of about thirty countries - everyone I thought might conceivably be visited any time soon. She noted down these. Hopefully, that will keep me from being fucked again.



ROMANIA SAYINGS

"Expect the unexpected."

"The impossible is nothing."



More later, I'm off to eat lunch with Sam!

NO SWIMMING, FAT BOY

BOSNIAN SAYING

"A smart guy takes notes, a dumb guy remembers."



BOSNIAN SLANG

If the Bosnians wish to be more obscure (from Croats, Serbs, etc) they say many of their words backwards. It is common enough to have become slang. Sexy would become Yxes, for example.



SMOKING

Smoking is as common here as in 1920's to 1950's America. Smoking in restaurants, smoking while eating, smoking while preparing Logan's food.



POOL PRICES

5 BAM - 3 hours in the pool area.
7 BAM - Access to pool, sauna and gym.
20 BAM - Massage for 25 minutes on back and arms.
35 BAM - Full body massage for 45 minutes. This is the one I wanted. Fortunately, they have a set rate rather than charging for surface area.



NO SWIMMING, FAT BOY

After arguing with the ticket selling, non-English, German, French or any other popular language speaking lady who kept denying she sold the daily pass for the tram until she sold me one (and she is the only one who sells them), I made my way onto the tram.. Mirza had kindly circled the stop I needed to get off in order to get to the swimming pool. It was at this point I noticed that none of the tram stops were labeled. At all. Nothing. Nada. I suppose the thinking (if any) was that tourists would never go out there and the locals would know which stop they needed. Fortunately, a nice lady on the tram told me which stop I needed to disembark at. Before we reached it, someone claiming to be a ticket inspector asked to see my ticket. Having read about the scam involved, I asked to see his laminated plastic ID card. He grumblingly produced it so I showed him my hard won ticket. Never has a ticket been so scrutinized but in the end he had to admit defeat. The prospect of fleecing a foreigner for 40 BAM (or so) had really appealed to him. He took out his wrath on some argumentative old woman and his squad removed her from the train, possibly for later execution. I smugly stayed on the train and disembarked at the large, obvious swimming pool.

It was closed.

When I say closed, I meant to me. Apparently, they were having some kids doing a swimming match. I inquired whether my shorts I had brought for swimming would be sufficient to enter their pool but they weren't. In order to get into the pool, it looked like an investment of 40 BAM for regulation shorts and (believe it or not) a swimming cap would be required. Fuck that. I have no interest in buying what would essentially be single use clothing. Also, the swimming trunks would be tight enough that it might cause distress to those viewing me. And mental trauma. The shorts I had brought would have been kinder, but they wanted to make some money.

I said it was OK, I could skip the swimming, how about the massage? In honor of the kids doing their swimming thing, the massage place was closed as well. What if one of the kids needed a rub down after their competition? Will no one think of the children? Or the fat guy? So, it was all for nothing.

As in the USA, I got to see a lot of parents trying to live vicariously through their kids.

After glowering dubiously at the hairdresser they had in the swimming place, I decided to wander around this neighborhood.

I'd be very curious to have one of those walking counters to see how much walking I actually do - I'm sure it's right up there.

I got to see a lot of the 'soviet style block homes' as I looked for a cheap place to eat.

After wandering through a pretty grim neighborhood, I found a place within some sort of shopping center that sold food. I'm not clear on what the shopping center actually sold. The food I ate there was probably the worst I've had in Bosnia.

I asked the German only speaking waiter what one of the selections was. He said what sounded like 'hoon'. I asked 'hund'? This means dog. We eventually got it sorted out that it was chicken. Not fish is fine with me. I would have been OK with dog. The last time I ate dog was in Korea. Before animal lovers get their panties in a twist, the dogs served in Korea were raised for that purpose. It's not like when you ordered dog that a little kid would come out crying as the family pet was butchered. Though, honestly, I'd be strangely comfortable with that.



COUCH SURFING

I think on Monday I'm going to try to get a bus or train ticket out of here. The problem is that I have no idea where exactly I'm going. I have a couple of people who have said they are willing to host me in Couch surfing but others are wary because I have no references or 'friends' on Couch surfing. I did point out to a couple of these people that everyone starts off with none - don't they? I didn't see an option to 'get free friends' when I signed up but I may have missed that. So, they'll just have to suck it up and try Logan out. I think (aside from my snoring which I can't control) I'm a pretty good guest. Note, I've only been contacting people who don't have a 'shared sleeping space' - ie in the same room because I know that any lodging I got there would just be for a single night then "Logan I like you but your snoring makes me want to stab you in the eye".

I even had one guy tell me I should put up more information on the site - I asked him if he had seen the numerous references to my blog. I think this constant, nearly daily stream of consciousness stuff gives a pretty good indication of who I am and what I'm about.



PETE MAY BE RIGHT

I like Europe but the prices in Asia (inc India) probably got it beat hands down. If my money gets down to a certain spot, I'll probably jet off immediately to India and find somewhere cheap to sit for awhile. Or Thailand. Or where ever.



SARAJEVO

The city of Sarajevo - what I've seen of it reminds me of a race track - an oval. The racetrack itself is the street car tracks. On the curves at either end are shops and such. One end is the tourist area of the 'old town'. Not a lot of Americans here that I've discovered - believe me. The other end of the racetrack has the place where the Bosnians seem to shop and such as the prices aren't jacked for whatever tourists come here. The straight aways between the two curves, residential. By residential I mean predominately depressing concrete Soviet block housing with only one window per room, even for the corner apartments so that nobody gets a better deal than their neighbors.

With the women here, I've noticed a lot more of them have 'normal people shapes' rather than the 'fashion models' of Prague. No doubt they are missing the effects of the 'Czech Stairmaster'.

With the men, the point of hair in the middle of the head seems popular as does the Mohawk, when they have a 'non-standard' hair style. Those who are balding are saved from this fashion indignity.

Health wise, the food here sucks. It tastes good but no nutritionist in the world would call it at all 'healthy'.

In some of the guides I've read, they talk about the air pollution being a problem. I've seen it in a couple limited areas but overall it doesn't seem that bad.

The people themselves fall into one of two different classifications much of the time - either cheerful or 'withdrawn and bitter'. Perhaps that should be whether they have a job or are among the half or more unemployed but it doesn't seem to work like that.

The people who don't speak English or German seem to fall into one of two categories most of the time - either the type that try to 'talk to you in Bosnian regardless and hope you will figure it out' or the 'I am angry you haven't learned our language that isn't in the top 40 languages spoken in the world'.

How would I describe the mood here? In some ways, it is just like every other European city. They have people busy wandering around on mysterious errands, coffee shops, bars, metal and glass buildings, old women with strangely colored hair, men with sunglasses and baseball caps, serious looking kids, old men who walk even slower than Logan and look like they're ready to fall and break a hip given the slightest provocation. Beggars, banks, cars, commerce, etc. The war has come and gone leaving little trace but some old bullet holes in the walls. This country, like every other former communist country I've been to has lots of the pre-fab slap together buildings that I've been told were suppose to be temporary housing.

But the mood of the people themselves? Wary? Waiting? Helpful and good natured? Despite this country having over half of it's population unemployed, brightly colored balloon sellers ply their trade selling 'Sponge Bob' balloons.

Maybe this is a place of good natured people frustrated by the government? I think that whatever the 'mood' of the people, it is something subtle. Although I'm told revolution must come, it doesn't feel close.

[In writing this, I realize that if it comes within the next couple weeks or a month, I'll look like a complete tool.]



THE MUSEUM

While I was nodding off on the tram headed back to the old city, I saw a big building labeled simply 'museum'. Since I didn't feel like falling asleep and getting pick pocketed, I hopped off of the tram. It turns out that the museum is across the street from the famous Holiday Inn where reporters during the war really got a close up look at the action. Kitty corner to the museum, the bunker like American embassy - where even Americans seem forbidden to go - squatted.

Unfortunately, I had forgotten about the strange European hours. On what should have been their biggest day of the week when everyone would be off work to be available to take their kids to give them an infusion of culture (like it or not) the museum was.... Closed. Closed at 1 PM. What the fuck.

So, I got back onto another over packed street car. In most European countries, street cars are a good way to see the city. Not so here - they are packed with people.

So, I got off in an unfamiliar part of town and went to visit a really large mosque.

In Bosnia, God is closed for business on Saturday as well.

I'm guessing that not a lot will be open tomorrow (Sunday) so I'll probably just wander around.

On Monday, the big plan is to visit the dentist and see how much that will cost me. Maybe even go get a ticket out of here...