HAPPY NEW YEAR, ECUADORIAN STYLE

ECUADOR CUSTOMS - NEW YEARS

Here, in Ecuador, they make paper figures of people or other things.  They put a couple days worth of work into making them.

I'm told that on New Year's Eve, they will be burned in the streets.  The reason is something like getting rid of all of the bad stuff from New Years.  Edit:  My friend James did a story that includes this - check it out:  http://myfivebest.com/  It's the story on New Years customs.  The only thing to add is while burning the effigies, people jump over them for luck.  Rum fueled my waddling over one and I'd say it was lucky I didn't catch my pants on fire.  Guess it worked.

I told the local who was describing this custom to me that in the USA people usually just get drunk, have sex and make many promises they don't keep.  Like losing weight.


Ecuadorian New Years was a lot tamer than I thought.

They have a stage show.  Most people just stood and watched it like they were at a concert, as opposed to dancing around like they were on shrooms.

There were a lot of fireworks, including 'roman candles'.  The smoke was so thick that I nearly choked on it, despite liking the smell of burned gunpowder.  The fireworks were pretty much shot off indiscriminately in the crowd.

Don't think that a huge throng stops cars from going on the streets.  No, there were people so idiotic they continued to drive on the streets despite them being filled with people.  I was actually hit (at a really slow speed) by one such moron.

It was very interesting to see yet another New Years custom.  I got some film but unfortunately my cheap camera doesn't film worth a shit at night so we'll have to see what it looks like after I get it uploaded.

The next day, the mess was cleaned up pretty quickly and the streets were clogged with people attempting to leave.  Glad I'm not leaving for Peru for a couple more days yet, probably departing on the fourth or fifth of January, 2014.  One year till 'hoverboards', six years till 'cyberpunk'.



CACAO

So I tried Cacao aka 'Creme de Cacao'.  For those who don't know (according to the limited information I have) it is a chocolate alcohol drink.

I have no clue why this stuff isn't more popular but it seems to only be made in South America, where the plants grow.  Perhaps it is exported.

No clue why it is not more popular.  Chocolate + alcohol?  It's a win.

Price is $3 per shot (I had two, it's New Years) and I'm told a bottle goes for $15 to $20.  If I could find one in Banos, I'd buy it but they don't carry it here.  Depressing.

If you can find it, I recommend trying it.



MINECRAFT

One of the things I enjoy about Minecraft (once you get past the graphics - which after awhile you cease to notice) is that you always have something to do.  Something different than 'kill monsters to level up and get better shit so you can kill more powerful monsters etc'.

Today, for example, Tim and I went out on a hunting party to gather resources.  Lots of different resources - flowers (for aesthetics as well as dyes), hides for making books, feathers to make arrows and so on.  Also, Tim built up his hidden castle.  I did some underground exploring to find tracks to make a subway between a couple of very distant places we have.

In pretty much every MMO I've ever played, you have a choice between hunting in the 'level appropriate' area or maybe - if the MMO has it and it is worthwhile - crafting.  The crafting is usually limited and overall a money sink.  Rare is the MMO where there is money to be made crafting.

This game has very much captured our attention.  If you haven't played Minecraft before, I'd suggest checking it out.  If you are completely unable to play a game due to only the graphics, you are missing out on a whole lot of interesting stuff.



VIDEOS

Sorry these are so dark but my camera is rubbish and night shots have never worked out well for it.

Banos New Years
Burning 1, 2

LIFESTYLES OF THE RICH AND SHAMELESS

MERA

The couple who runs Pizza Kono invited me to an outing they were having with several of their neighbors.  In the USA, this sort of thing doesn't happen most places.  Not since the days of 'block parties' are people willing to speak to their neighbors.  The most you usually know them is in the half hearted wave once per day thing.  Here, the people actually wanted to hang out together.

I waffled a good deal on this.  They wanted to go at nine in the morning and I am pretty nocturnal, often sleeping until sometime between ten and noon.  When he offered to come get me from the hostel, I knew going was going to happen.  I am loath to give up my 'beauty sleep'.  Clearly, I need all I can get.

During the wee (9ish) hours of the morning, the owner of the hostel banged on my door and announced people were here for me.  Stumbling out of the hostel, I espied an ancient van with my friends and slunk into it.  The van was one of those with 'personality'.  Too much personality.  The side door stopped working.  When it began to rain, I joked that we might get a free swimming pool out of it.  The van ran out of gas later.  It was all kinds of fun.

Whenever we got near a police checkpoint, the driver would pull over and switch places with his wife.  Later I asked why and was told he'd forgotten his license at home.  "You had one job..." I joked.

Once we got to the old campsite, there was talk about moving to a different one as it had begun to rain.  Eventually, this idea was discarded and we all paid our $2 each to use the pavilion area.

I have several pictures of the site here.  It's an old place and I figured it would be good for one, maybe two groups of a dozen people.  During the weekends I was told there were hundreds of people here.  This is freaky to me.  It seemed like it would feel crowded with over 20 but to compete with hundreds of people for the small cooking area and such - absurd.  But it is very popular and they don't seem to have a lot of these places around.

From a distance, the site looks presentable as most do but up close...well, I feel I'd need shots to enter the water and there was enough jagged metal and things that in the states they may have used flame throwers on it just to avoid the lawsuits.  In the rest of the world, they teach you to be more responsible for yourself rather than sue those who let you fall into pits and such.

In almost 1970's fashion upon arrival the men went off to play football while the women prepared food.  I stuck with the women as my interest and ability to play football (or any sport) is on the low end of nonexistent.  I did a bit of chatting and a bit of laying around in a hammock for as long as my back could stand it.

In the end, I was happy I went and had a nice time.  I did feel like a bit of a downer because it was I who ended the party at about four by asking my friends "Don't you have a business to run?"  They did but were reluctant to leave the swimming pool.  I'm still not use to the 'laid back lifestyle' here.

Of Mera (the town) itself I saw little other than the town square - it's a very small place and doesn't seem to have much else of interest.



LIFESTYLES OF THE RICH AND SHAMELESS

On the drive back from Mera, I spotted a very nice compound within walking distance (2-4 KM I'd guess) of Banos and decided to check it out later.

It turned out to be named 'Samari'.

This is the kind of place that if you'd like to drop between $186 and $253 per night (plus tax) you can do it.  This gives you access to the pools, steam rooms, Jacuzzi - sometimes in your own room - but treatments such as massages are extra.

According to the nice lady who gave me a tour of the place, they have thirty seven rooms.  These are usually full so it is necessary to book in advance I was told.  I only saw one family during my time there.  According to my guide, of the guests they usually have, half are locals.  In a country where the average wage is under $5000 per year, this is astonishing.  Would I stay there if I could?  Sure - but I'd rather stay a month and a half in a place I can afford instead...

This place is not conveniently located so any time people want to leave it will be necessary for them to have a taxi called.  I don't imagine the people who stay here would be big fans of walking on dirty streets sometimes lacking in sidewalks as I did.

Pictures of this very pretty place can be found here.

For anyone with the means, here is the contact information:

Samari Spa Resort
Av. de las Amazonas
Via a Puyo Km. 1
Banos, Tungurahua
Ecuador
Tel: +593 - 3 - 274 1855, Fax +593 - 3 - 274 1859.  E-mail: paulinagallegos@samarispa.com.  Webpage:  www.samarispa.com

As I was leaving, I discovered my hat was not in my bag.  I asked my guide about it.

"It is on you bag."

"Er - it's not in my bag - I just looked."

She then showed me.  She hadn't said 'bag' but 'back'.  It was hanging from a strap around my neck and was on my back.  I beamed at her, nodded and said "I'm an idiot.  Thank you!"

Exit, stage right.



HISTORY OF LOGAN - PART 3

Why this was written up:

It feels odd writing about myself but a) some people have expressed an interest and b) a time traveler told me that a lot of history books have gotten wrong some of the stories of my life.  Since it is featured so predominantly in these books it would be less embarrassing if they had some of the details right - hence would I please write up some tales from my history.  I told him it sounded a bit egocentric to write about my past but he assured me future generations would bless me for it and there would be statues and a large temple built to me.  I said the temple might be going a bit too far so they could replace it by naming all children born for the next decade "Logan".  Girls and boys all named Logan.  Although it was an unusual request he assured me they would grant it.  The thought of going into a room and saying "Hey Logan" and having everyone in the room think it's them fills me with a sense of joy at the confusion it will cause.  So I wrote it up.

Some folks feel this will cause paradox.  That is not my problem.  I just want a dump truck full of money which, sadly, I didn't get.  I'd gladly give up everything I own for just a little more...


To continue on with the story...

After we left East Germany the rest of the trip becomes a bit of a blur.  I'm not even sure what all countries we passed through but if I had to guess in order they would be Czechoslovakia, Hungary, Romania and possibly Bulgaria - I'm really not sure.

What I do remember of this leg of the journey was some snapshots:

People staring angrily at us while we were in a restaurant because we were eating 'their food'.  Yes, we paid for it but food wasn't plentiful.  The same thing happened if we wanted to buy something from a store.

Everything was dirty and depressing.   Trash was liberally thrown around though I don't remember it being nearly as dirty as northern India today.

Nobody wanted to talk to us because if they did, the KGB would probably invite them around (via abduction) for a little talk (read as torture).  We were still the 'dangerous western influence'.  I'd like to think that I still am though I believe I may be delusional here.

For some reason hitchhiking didn't work.  This was probably due to the lack of private vehicles and nobody wanting to talk to us.  As a result, we took trains.  While we were at some railway station waiting for yet another train, I was trying to get a nap inside my sleeping bag.  Two staggeringly drunk police officers approached.  One had his gun out waving it about.  They both seemed to be holding each other up.  What to do in a situation like that?  You are kind of stuck in the bag.  If you try to get out you may attract attention.  If you stay in, you are almost completely helpless.  The moments drug by very slowly until the cops finally staggered by.

The lesson never ever to joke with border guards was given.  The border control guy said "Do you have any guns, drugs, pornographic materials, explosives... (etc)?"  At the end of his long list, I winked and said "What do you need?"   That was the first time I ever had a full cavity search.  The man with the rubber glove was not surprisingly gentle and the word 'lube' was not in his vocabulary.  After that a meek 'No sir' sufficed.

It was during this time, both Roy and I began to get very irritated with Hunter.  He was anal.  Really.  It was the little things he was doing during this couple month (?) that were really getting on our nerves but we'd not yet come to the conclusion we had to kill him.  That was still in the future.

Eventually, we made our way from the gloom of the USSR into the light of Greece.  Next time, Athens!



ECUADOR

Interesting fact:  Every Saturday, the current president gets on TV and tells everyone what his upcoming agenda for the following week is.  This is probably a CYOA because the opposition parties may spread lies about him otherwise.

BANOS AND PUYO

BANOS REPORT

Note it is a partial report as I've spent all my time in Banos.  After my money situation eventually gets sorted, I am planning on going to towns nearby.

For those who don't know, one of my readers expressed an interest in perhaps expatriating to Ecuador some day so I looked around with that in mind.

Politics:  The last four presidents got ousted and took off with a bunch of money before they finally came up with one that not only stuck around without taking off with government funds but who seems pretty popular.  Just because this president is good doesn't mean the next one will be so perhaps renting for a few years might be better than immediately purchasing property.  Just in case.

Property:  Depending on where you buy it there is a huge range of costs.  For some reason, Banos is cheap to rent places but freakishly expensive to purchase them.  I have no idea why that is.  Also, there is a big fucking volcano nearby so this gives banks pause in lending money to buy property here.  They will, I'm told, make loans for improvements.  This is odd.  As of three years ago at the time of this writing (2013) volcanoes have gone off so it's not like getting a nice property near Pompeii.   [For those without knowledge of history and too inept to use Google, that seems to have been AD 79.  The cynical may think this just means 'it's due'.]

People:  I'd put people's friendliness within the top ten of the countries I have visited.  [As of the time of this writing, approximately 40 countries.]   You will need to learn Spanish as finding people who speak English outside (and even  often inside) tourist areas is uncommon.  Fortunately, Spanish is so easy, even Logan can learn it.  That's easy.  Also, I like the people of Banos.  They seem to have 'civic pride' and keep their town clean - something that is not seen in many of the countries to which I've recently been.

Crime:  Comparing murder rates, Ecuador is much higher than your native country of Canada, but where isn't?  Well, actually that's a long list.  I'd read that the murder rate here is half of what it is in the USA however Wiki says this is a lie.  [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_intentional_homicide_rate]   The police here seem fairly friendly and helpful rather than in Ukraine where you are expecting them to shake you down for a bribe.

Education:  I'm not sure how old your children are or if you will need to send them to schools here or if you are waiting to expat when you and your husband are old.  Like Logan.  The schools here seem fairly abysmal and underfunded.  Much like my native country.  The good news is that here, private tutors are totally affordable.

Economy/Prices:  Pretty cheap.  Living in a private room (hotel style though it's at a hostel), eating out every meal, smoking and drinking rum nightly I'm spending under $30 USD a day.  That's another nice thing, you get to use USD.   The local currency was seen as too unstable so they just use dollars.  Easy.  Since the Canadian dollar is roughly equivalent to the US dollar [at the time of this writing nearly 1 to 1] you will have no problems figuring out the actual price for things without the need to convert.  There is one important caveat to this however and that is electronics.  Before you leave the land of Canada

Picture above, Toronto during rush hour.

it is important to stock up on anything electronic you will need and understand that your choices in the future will be paying double (or more) for technology that is woefully outdated or going  the hell somewhere else to purchase it.  On the good side, getting around via public bus (moderately comfortable) is dirt cheap - about a dollar per hour of drive time.

Climate:  Though I've not yet experienced the entire country, I've been told that traveling anywhere you can be in a totally different climate within a few hours.  Personally, I like the climate of Banos.  In the day time it is nice and warm - maybe even a bit hot - in the day time and cool enough at night to sleep with all the windows closed and blankets on the bed.  During the winter it rains a bit more but not like the rainy season in SE Asia.  Assuming you have an umbrella it is nothing to worry about.  As Canadians, you may feel like you are missing snow but this feeling will pass as you admire pictures of famous Canadian hockey players on the internet.

The shocking example above is known as 'Canadian Porn' and is a picture of Wayne Gretzky.

Public Services:  Unlike places like Nepal, the government hasn't shut off the electricity for several hours a day due to incompetency.  In fact, in the month plus [as of the time of this writing] I've been here, there has never been a power outage.  The internet has been off so briefly that it is easily discounted.  There are only two strange things about the services within this country.  First is that you can't flush your toilet paper down the toilet.  I have no clue as to why this is.  Could it be small pipes?  Not enough water pressure?  Strange recycling?  I have no idea.  But you get to toss your used toilet paper into a bucket and save it.  It is disgusting.  Can't imagine a lot of people get into 'dumpster diving' as a result.  The second thing is there is no assigned 'trash day'.  Due to the 'mañana' attitude of all the Spanish speaking countries I've been to they don't have a schedule.  Instead, the trash truck drives around playing a strange tune and when you hear it you grab your trash and go out to meet them.  Weird but it seems to work.

My overall impression of Ecuador is very positive.



PUYO SHOPPING

I traveled to Puyo to look for pants.  The Ecuadorians don't seem to like my 'wrap pants' and I dislike wearing things that draw too much attention.

Before heading there, I'd been warned repeatedly that Puyo is much more hot and humid than Banos.  After I'd stressed a couple times that I've not only lived through the hot and humid south east Asia but also lived in several deserts, people relented.  Puyo is a bit more hot than Banos but I failed to pass out from heat stroke during my brief visit.

The bus dropped me off at a bus stop which seemed to be well outside of town - or in the middle of the countryside.  Fortunately, there were several taxis nearby and the charge was only a dollar for the fifteen or twenty minute ride.  I suspect New Yorkers would slit each others throats to get that kind of deal.

The taxi driver dropped me in front of a red store selling clothing.  They didn't have what I wanted so I wandered around trying to find clothing in 'extra American fat' size.  Subsequent stores kept sending me back to the red colored store.

I'd even managed to find a tailor but for some reason in this country they only make suits.  I could get a pair of suit pants for $30-$40 but not only would they clash with the sun bleached t-shirts I wear but they'd wear out pretty quickly.  Getting someone to make something cheap out of more rugged cloth seems impossible.  This is confusing because the tailor shop was not only empty but there was no evidence of any projects in the works.  No business is better than the 'wrong sort' I suppose.

Being in Puyo made me grateful I'm staying in Banos.

Since traveling, I've seen plenty of 'no personality' cities.  Were you to remove all of the people from Puyo and replace them with Thais or Cambodians, the city would look just like any of the 'no personality' cities there.

Puyo seems to be mostly a marketplace - and not a very good one for Logan.

It is interesting just how far behind their computer stuff is.

At the time of this writing, a quick search on Amazon shows I can buy 32 GIG drives for about $20.  Proudly displayed on the shelves of Puyo were 4 GIG drives.  Quite a difference.  [Yes, I realize 4 GIG drives are also available on Amazon.  Not sure what kind of insane person buys those.]

Eventually I became convinced there were not enough fat Ecuadorians to warrant anything like a 'big and tall' store and having grown tired of pawing through the bins of 'Salvation Army' used clothing I set off walking.

The only restaurants in town seemed to be Ecuadorian.  Since I have the same opinion of the local food here as I do Cambodian (it is not something I look forward to but will happily eat it if I am starving to death) I kept my eyes open for any kind of foreign restaurant.  Since it was a few minutes before noon and lightning has a habit of striking dead anyone who opens their restaurant for business before noon, nothing was open.

Fuck it.  I can wait until returning to Banos to eat.

Turns out the route I'd picked by chance was in the direction of the bus station so I just kept walking.

Like all bus stations everywhere in the world, this one was built on the most beautiful of land so that the town could be showcased in the best light for new arrivals.  Or the opposite.

So, I got back on the $2 bus for an hour and a half sixty kilometer ride through roads clinging to the mountains.  Tufts of cotton clouds dotted the mountains as did fields built onto steep enough surfaces that the sight of a farmer tumbling by would take no one buy surprise.





PRICES

Taxi, $1

Approximately 250-300 ml of juice, $1.75.  (Why it is almost double the taxi fare I have no clue).

Map, free.

THE DOCTOR VISIT

DISCLAIMER

I'd first off like to apologize for discussing my medical stuff.

There is nothing that screams 'You are dull as fuck and have nothing better going on in your life if you are sitting around talking about your medical problems with someone who is not a medical professional being paid to listen to your woes'.

Really.

Normally, I try to be very vague about my medical problems if someone asks then I try to quickly change the topic of conversation - simply because I know the only person it's relevant to is me.

The reason I'm discussing them here is twofold:

First, the readers of this blog seem to enjoy when I am in pain, suffering or in hospital.  My only guess as to why is because they find it amusing.  Or they believe I should suffer because I'm doing cool stuff (well, traveling) and this is the yang to that yin and it makes the world more right.

Second, it gives a bit of a view into what getting medical care in other...er...less developed countries is like.

And, I reveal the costs.  Unlike lame travel writers.  As a bonus.



THE DOCTOR VISIT

Sadly, it wasn't Doctor Who coming to visit me.

For about the fourth or fifth time on this trip, I managed to get another case of conjunctivitis.  Note that the eye in the link looks a lot better than what my eyes looked like before I went.

I'd tried some self medicating because doctors usually give me the same thing but after a week it became obvious it wasn't working.

So I consulted with Janet who runs the hostel at which I am staying.

She stuck me in a $1.25 USD taxi and I was off to Hospital Badesda, pronounced like 'Bethesda' - the famous hospital.

Didn't look like the famous hospital at all.

In fact, when we pulled up, I couldn't tell it was a hospital.  (Yes, apparently you can get surgery here but it would frighten me.  Less than a field tent in Africa, but still scary.)

After shrugging and paying off the cab driver (you do a lot of shrugging if you travel long enough) I went in and requested to see the best doctor in the whole town, Dr Proano.

This guy is a general practitioner, not an eye doctor.  But I'm still in Banos and it's an amazingly small town.  Fortunately, the doctor speaks excellent English.  Trying to explain 'conjunctivitis' in Spanish is rough.  Yes, it is the same word but that is no guarantee I will be understood.  Note, you can slightly mispronounce words in Spanish and - unlike Russian - maybe you'll get understood.  But when you're dealing with medical stuff?  Ug.

But he was not only familiar with this affliction but understood my condition.  After briefly checking out my eyes he suggested not only steroidal eye drops but a big damn needle in my ass.

Sadly, that is the only thing he would put into my ass.

I really wanted to get my prostate checked as well.  He waffled on about needing blood tests and such but I think he was reluctant to stick his finger up my ole chocolate whizway.   Mind you, I am not thrilled about anyone double knuckling up their either but (ha!) I figure it's better than prostate cancer.

The doctor didn't think so.

It might be another five or ten years before that gets checked.  I thought it was suppose to be every year.  Ah well.

The only note of discord happened when the nurses attempted to take my blood pressure.

They came up with 110/70.  I told the doctor he might want to retake it himself.  He came up with 170/110.  I'm not sure how wildly incompetent you have to be to fuck up taking blood pressure.  I've personally only ever seen it done and learned to do it myself from just watching it.  I carry my own manual blood pressure taking stuff with me.

So I would make a hell of a nurse.  In Ecuador.  Aside from not being able to speak Spanish.  But I could accurately take blood pressure.

For those who know about blood pressure and are thinking 'holy shit - his is amazingly high' - yes, I'm on three medications to combat it.

I have to buy a lot of pills.  No, I don't have any insurance.  Obamacare is not going to save me.

Fortunately, the locals of the countries I live in don't have much money - or out of  control lobbyists so getting treated isn't cripplingly (ha!) expensive.



COSTS (compare to your home country!)

Consult with the doctor, $20
Eye drops, $7
Shot with a big damned needle into my ass, $8 plus pain

WELCOME TO TACO BELLO

OTAVOLO, ECUADOR

For those coming on Sunday, be advised everything is closed.   Fairly hopeless for shopping.   Some of the things do open up after noon but in general it's a dead day.



WELCOME TO TACO BELLO  (Otavolo)

This place is owned by Carlos whose been running it for the last year and a half.  Carlos used to be a private investigator in California and has retired to his native Ecuador.   He's one of those friendly, charismatic outgoing individuals and speaks great English.

You can get a reasonably good - though small - margarita for $3 and a shitload of food  (enough for three or one American) for $5 if you order the 'Fiesta Platter'.   Here's some pics of exactly what you get.  The lighter (used for size comparison) is normal sized but I can't tell you how big that is.

The food is pretty decent.  The free nachos and big thing of guacamole were FREE.  The guacamole was excellent but the chips were only so so.

The downsides:  The restaurant is closed on Tuesday and sometimes unexpectedly.  No hours are posted.  No clue why this is.

Other pics of Taco Bello are here:  1, 2, 3, 4, 5  Note the guns were 'for display only' according to Carlos but I wasn't handed any of them to check out.  If you are the kind of person who faints at the sight of a gun, you might want to skip this place.



ON TO QUITO

Getting the bus to Quito was surprisingly easy.  Showed up to the bus station, was told 'get on the bus', bought a ticket on the bus and off we went with no waiting.  Good deal.

Quito was a pretty average city.  Nothing special unless you want specialty food or shopping.  I came here because I needed new frames for my broken glasses and got them within an hour of arrival.

Sadly, this is one of those towns where you are warned to keep your bag on your front to discourage pickpockets.

In this country, rather than lodging in the big city being cheaper it is more expensive.  I'm not sure why that is but I've seen it in other countries as well.  It's a strange phenomena.   I wasn't digging staying at a $15 per night place and fortunately either them trying a 'bait and switch' or just incompetence saved me from having to do so.

I'd checked into and paid for a hostel room and dumped my gear.  I was told the key had been taken by someone for some purpose and I'd get it later.  No idea why they can't own more than one key to the room but whatever.  Went off to take care of my glasses issue and grab some food as it had been awhile since I'd eaten.

I even managed to find a quirky cool little cafe with the best tiramisu I've had in years.  ['The Cheese Cake Cafe'.  Address:  Juan Leon Mera E4-434 y av Colon.]

This is a sign they had hanging up in there:

When I got back to the hotel, I was told alas, the room had already been reserved.  "But I've already paid!"  I protested.  No avail.  They showed me up some very rickety metal stairs to another room which smelled strongly of paint and was harassed by the sounds of construction.  I responded with "No."  Much discussion in Spanish ensued.  Eventually, I was given back my money.

So glad I was already done with my business here!  I grabbed a very expensive $12 cab ride to go to the further away bus station.  For some reason, the cab driver keeps his wife, baby and two children in the cab with him as he works.  No fucking clue what's up with that but I'm guessing it's a 'cultural difference'.  I demanded and got the front seat.

A four dollar bus ride and I was in Banos.  More on Banos later!



ECUADOR RESTAURANTS

In many of the restaurants by the time you get your food you forgot what you ordered and perhaps why you were there in the first place.

Many of the restaurants have pictures up of what they serve.  When I look at many of the pictures I think "Not hungry enough to eat THAT."

Depending on where you eat, you can find a meal in a restaurant for under $5.  If you are eating fancy $7-10.  Talking the possibility of cloth napkins on the table.  They still bring you paper ones to use, but the cloth ones may actually be on the table.

Although Central and South America are famous for their coffee, I've yet to have a decent cup.  Usually when you order coffee, they bring you boiled water and a jar of instant coffee.  No clue why this is.  Even 'coffee houses' have served me mediocre or shit coffee.



ECUADOR LOCALS

You've got those of Spanish, Indian, black and various mixes.

The attitudes of the locals varies wildly.  Some are friendly, others standoffish.  Some give you a 'hard look' but sometimes you can crack that with a goofy grin.  Sometimes not.  Pretty normal attitudes generally ranging toward friendly.  I'd probably do better if I actually spoke fluent Spanish but unfortunately I can't download stuff like in the Matrix.  If I could, lots of languages would be step one.



STRANGE MEMENTOS

Heard about an American tourist who was popping into different countries just to get a stamp in his passport.  He wasn't interested in seeing the country or staying there - he just wanted a stamp.  This is baffling.  I've got an old passport hidden away (at a friends) which has stamps from countries that no longer exist.   Czechoslovakia, Yugoslavia, the DDR (that use to be East Germany) and so on.  You can't get those stamps any more.  In the last couple decades, I looked at that passport all of twice.  Hope that tourist gets his money's worth...



PLANNING AHEAD

Prior to my sea voyage, I ran into an American who needed to take heart medicine.  Problem was it was freakishly expensive where he was.   He was bitching about the price and said that a friend of his had told him medicine in Panama was really cheap.  "Was that all the research you did, this one friend?"  Yes.  "Didn't stock up while you were in the states, just in case?"   Nope.   Expensive fail.



ECUADOR MEMES

A couple Canadians who read the blog asked me to check out Ecuador as they were thinking about expatriating here.   Aside from visiting for six months (minimum) to a year before doing so I'd warn anyone that some of the memes of Central and South America might drive people from Western civilization nuts.  Things like amazingly shoddy or stupid business practices.  Nobody ever has any change.  Noise pollution.  Litter.  Loads of semi wild animals roaming around.  Beggars.  Things like that.  Personally though, I am digging on Ecuador.  Much better 'value for money' than places like Panama or Costa Rica though I fear it may eventually go that way here.  It's not as cheap to live as say Thailand or Indonesia or Cambodia but Spanish is easier to learn - and more useful - than Thai, Indonesia or Khmer all put together.



STRANGE LOGAN TRIVIA

The only pairs of corrective glasses I've had break have both been on buses.  Not sure what it is about buses and my glasses but two of them so far.



TRAVELER'S TIP

Secure your shit before leaving your room.

Yes, this is the 'Pacsafe'.  I may buy an additional one at some point.  They give me a warm fuzzy feeling that my computer may actually still be in the room when I return.



WHO IS JIM GALFORD

He is a writer.  Like published books and all that.  He is close to what I consider a professional writer.  When he finally gets around to making audio books of his books so that I can steal them, he has hit the big leagues.  You can check out his books on Amazon here.

Having Jim as a friend on Facebook is always a lot of fun because he has a lot of really messed up stuff that happens to him within his regular job.

Having a 'Jim Galford' experience can be defined as something really messed up you have little control over.

I had one today.  I was getting tired of having shit on my bathroom floor.  Literally.  The toilet floods.  So, I asked if it could be cleaned up.  I knew in the flophouse I'm staying repair would never happen.

They offered me a new room instead.  Tried out the new room.  Fine except it was noisier and no wifi.

I went back to my old room.  Apparently, I'd rather have shit on my floor than no wifi.

Yes, I will be looking for a new place to continue staying here but the perks of this place (1.70 USD liter of beer delivered to my room when I want, quiet, friendly staff) will be difficult to beat.  Oh, and it's $7 per night.



CONVERSATIONS WITH LOCALS

Local:  "Just because you put 'o' after a word does not make it Spanish.
Logan:  (long stare)  "I don't believe you."
Local:  (sighs)  "OK.  What is your name?"
Logan:  (in Spanish)  "My Spanish name is 'El Logano'!
Local:  (shakes head)



STAYING AT CHEAP PLACES

Honestly, the worst thing about staying at cheap places is that locals also stay at cheap places.

I've yet to find a country where this is a 'good thing'.

Locals are usually worse to live with than people who are traveling.

As an example:

Staying in the hotel I fondly refer to as 'exploding toilet' when suddenly I hear loud arguing in Spanish followed by prolonged loud screaming.  I figure we've got us some 'domestic violence' going on.

The owner of the place later comes to the door and starts informing them she is calling the police.  And she really does.

The problem?  In Ecuador the police time ranges between twenty minutes and 'never'.

So another guest and I buy beers and sit out in the hallway drinking and smoking.  I softly chant 'Jerry!  Jerry!  Jerry!'

We're hoping the police show up and maybe drag the people off.

They don't show at all.

This makes us sad.

The kicker?  It wasn't just a man and a woman - they had a small child with them.

Sad.

The lesson to be learned?  If you can afford to stay in a place more expensive than what the locals can afford to stay in, I recommend it!  Sadly, I usually can't.



VIDEOS (Note - these should have been with the 'At Sea' blog but due to shitty internet they take a long time to upload)

At Sea
First Island
Another Island
Die Crabs Die
Island Princess
Making Port



COSTS

Bus from Otavalo to Quito, $2.  Taxi ride from the bus station to a hostel, $6.  That is weird but seems standard in big towns.  If you completely avoid big towns, transportation would be basically free in Ecuador.

To get lenses made for glasses is pretty expensive here at about $150.   Not sure how much it was in Cambodia but I'm thinking cheaper.  Maybe half or my memory something something.  Frames are about $25.

(Quito)  Indian (ie India, not South America) meal, including chicken massala, rice, drink and nam bread, $7.

FROM CARTAGENA TO ECUADOR IN ONE GO

WRITERS NOTE

Sometimes I put stuff in brackets [] which is showing from the point of view at the time of writing rather than at the time of experiencing - just to be clear.



NOTES ON CARTAGENA

Didn't seem all that different from Central America, honestly.  The prices in Colombia, Panama and Costa Rica all seem to be jacked up but the terrain looks the same and you don't get more for your money.


While it's not difficult to find men smoking the reasonably priced (USD 2-3/pack) cigarettes, I haven't seen any women smoking.  Not sure if this is a 1970's 'women don't smoke' thing or if they just have more sense than the men.  And Logan.


While in a store, I got to watch some guy try to pass a counterfeit bill.  The lady proprietor freaked the fuck out on him.  She screamed at him as she tore the bill up into confetti.  She then gave it back to him and took away the soda he had been trying to buy with it.  He left chagrined which makes me think he knew it was a fake.

Foreign currency doesn't really seem that difficult to fake with some resources.  My favorite currency is still the plastic stuff I've seen in a few (3?) countries.  Wears well while looking good.  Harder to fake.
It's sad to think the US will probably never evolve up to that.



IT'S MY RACKET

Still mourning the one I lost to evil airport security, I purchased a new mosquito killing racket.  It's electronic.  Some of the locals saw it and commented on it.  I used my best Bond villain voice and said "Mosquitoes muerte!" and did a bunch of evil laughing.  They laughed for a short time then stared at me as though I was mental since I continued the laugh past it's natural stopping time.  Good times.



CARTAGENA CARNIVAL

Went and checked out their version of 'Carnival' here.  Holy shit, it is not for me.  It was a bunch of people sitting around drinking and listening to loud music.  Yes, I hate Spanish music as much as Asian music.  On top of that, much like the Indian tradition of Holi, they go around with cans of what I suspect is a shaving creme like substance spraying each other down.  Not sure when that gets fun.  There is a tradition that people are suppose to threaten to spray you down unless you give them a small coin but most people didn't get the briefing on that and just spray each other down.  Fortunately, I missed out on that part of the 'fun'.  Sometimes, paint is used.  Yes, like house paint.   Again, doesn't seem like 'fun' to Logan but whatever.  In addition to worrying about the people who were drinking liters of 'stupid', I was also warned repeatedly by multiple people about pick pockets and bag snatchers.  After checking this out, I decided I'd rather sit around quietly at the bus station for an extra few hours.



DID I REALLY GIVE COLOMBIA A FAIR CHANCE

No, I don't think I did.  Having said that, I would counter with "Do I want to spend Europe money to see South America?"   Oh fuck no.

I would also like to say that despite Colombia's reputation for good coffee, I never had any.  The locals always said "You can get special coffee at X or X cities."  I responded "So unless I go to certain cities in Colombia, I can't get decent coffee in a country known for coffee?"  They claimed of course I could but I didn't find that to be true.



OFF TO THE BUS STATION

The cab driver took the most convoluted dangerous route I've ever seen.  It was a trash strewn maze of unhappiness.   [No, sorry, unimpressed with Cartagena.]

Eventually, we reached the 'terminal transporte'.  This place was no where as horrible as the rest of the city had set me up for.  Of course, it would have been tough to freak me out - been to India, bitches.

After paying off the driver, I settled down for my five hour wait for a twelve [ha - turned out to be much longer!] ride.  Livin' the dream.

As I sat there contemplating life, it seems that my wanting badly to get a 90 day visa for Colombia was a complete waste.  Live and learn.  Colombia turned out to just be a port of entry (literally) into South America for me.  Since I'm now doing land travel, I shouldn't be hassled for my 'proof of onward travel' - just have some sort of itinerary rather than a shrug and say "No clue, dude."

Looking around this bus station I was again struck at what kind of weird shit they attempt to sell.  Some of the stuff makes a lot of sense - things you can eat or drink.  Some makes some sense - tampons, soap, stuff that you may have forgotten to pack.  But other things like a giant gaudy delicate seashell which lights up when plugged in - who the fuck is going to buy this shit?  I mean, I can see some escaped mental patient eventually buying one sure - but at a bus station?

A lot of people say I am down on everything but I'm really not.  For example, I was blown away by how well the security guards and police at the Cartagena bus station spoke English.  Very admirable.

There was a bunch of locals eating at a four stool sit down kiosk (like in the movie Bladerunner) so I decided to risk it

and eat there.   Being that they didn't have a menu, I just ordered the same thing as the guy next to me.  He looked a bit freaked out like I was saying "I will eat this guys food." but the proprieter understood.  It was a good meal for 6000 COP (about 3.50 USD) and more food than I could eat.  [And best of all, I didn't get to rip ass later.]

Despite the otherwise modern appearance of the bus station, they do have four or so wild dogs which wander around and beg for scraps.  I'm not sure why they can't just put a bounty out on dog heads and pay off people to get rid of them.  Them, and children.

You do get searched and frisked here before getting onto the bus.  It is literally the worst frisk I've ever seen in my life.  I'd learned to do a quick frisk years ago.  It's not that hard but this one was closer to a back rub.



THE FIRST BUS OF DOOM

It was Brazil-something or other.  Avoid this brand.  I don't know what it is about their buses but it caused everyone quite a bit of discomfort.  For me, I was cramping up, having leg spasms and all sorts of fun.

Here is a picture of what Logan looked like while he was traveling

Doesn't he look happy?



MEDELLIN

Because it is 'more fun', they have two different bus terminals.  One if either you are coming from the north or going to the north, the other for the south.  To get from one to the other, you can either spend 12,000 COP on a taxi or 1700 COP on a bus.  The bus driver drove so aggressively I was having wild thoughts like "Surely, he's not going to try THAT in a BUS!"  Oh yes he did.  I'm thinking he would have been good in Speed for the driver, though less pretty.

Northern bus terminal had a great information kiosk with people who not only spoke English but were willing to go with me to where I needed to be.  The southern bus terminal had nothing to recommend it.

The bus bathroom sells you a small box of toilet paper for 200 COP.  When you remove the paper from the box and unravel it, you've got about six sheets worth.  Try it at home.  Not enough by a long stretch.  If there is anything that long time readers of the blog have learned it is that you always pack three things for any trip - toilet paper, water and something to eat that won't spoil if you forget about it for a few days.  Water because you can wash with it and use it to brush your teeth.



BUSING ONWARD

I've noticed I'm having trouble focusing my eyes and my hands have started to shake from the trip.  If I weren't so stubborn and poor, I'd probably stay in this town for a couple days to recover.  I wondered if I'd suffer physical collapse at some point.

If my count is correct, Colombia is the 36th country I've been in.  Oddly, it will also take me 36 hours to escape Colombia.  [Note, the actual count was closer to 40 something.  But it sounded profound at the time.  Possibly due to Logan's deteriorating mental state.]  The total amount of money was approximately 111 USD to cross Colombia.  Guessing a flight would have been more and again, if you fly in they usually want proof you will leave the country.  They are the evil airlines who are on the hook for getting you back to whence you came from should the country ask hence they are more stringent about asking.

Had to pull out my sweater and make a ring for my ass as I'd gotten too much of a pounding on it from the bus.  The bus had me worse than any cowboys.

During one of the stop overs, one of the inexperienced travelers wandered off.  The bus drivers, talking amongst themselves said that if he didn't make it back on time it wasn't their problem.  Why people wander off and think the buses will wait is a mystery.  Don't do it.  When the bus driver is climbing onto the bus to get going, my goal is to be the guy right behind him.  Being stranded in some foreign town with all your stuff on a bus that may or may not deliver it to your destination - fucking scary.  And what if the bus continues on past your destination?  Where will your shit be?  When you get off the bus, move like you have (as they say in the military) 'a sense of fucking purpose'.  Go fast - bathroom, food, drink, smoke then spend your time loitering near the bus.  Maybe those people who are paying a lot more for private tour groups can afford to be like stupid children but I won't try that crap.

One of the frustrating things is they like to show movies dubbed into Spanish because people are lazy.  Even worse, they don't start them promptly so you have to watch the first part of the same movie more than once.  I've seen most of the French film 'The Intouchables' TWICE and will have to download it should I ever want to see the fucking ending.

The Logan Luck (TM) again struck.  Sitting next to me was a guy who was from Ecuador and behind me a girl who offered to translate for me several times.  The guy even ended up going out of his way to make sure I got to the right counter at the border to check out of Colombia then he pointed out where to check into Ecuador.  Thank you Christopher and Anna!

Unfortunately, the other side of the Logan Luck (still TM, bitch) struck and my glasses broke while being cleaned.  Cheap Cambodian glasses.  Hence, I will have to get new frames for those later - if I can find a glasses store.  [Note, haven't yet but everything is closed on Sundays where I am.]



ECUADOR AT LAST

Getting into Ecuador, you get 90 days at zero dollars.  Good deal - they obviously want to promote tourism.

After crossing the border, I had to get another taxi (they don't make it fucking easy here) to a town called Tulcon.  It was 3.50 USD and from Tulcon the bus to Otavalo which was 3 USD.   On this bus I was tortured with some horrible Mexican movie from the 1970's.  They use to make horrible movies like this in the USA but fortunately, someone got them to stop and they're not seen any more.  Here, some of the passengers were excited to see it.  This makes me think entertainment options may be limited in Ecuador.

From Otavalo, another taxi to the Hotel Korea which was 1 USD.  Seriously - a buck.

Once in Ecuador, keep your passport handy.  You've got not one but two military checkpoints to get through.  They check your passport pretty closely for the stamp and such.


After I got to Otavolo, I had two beers (provided to my room for a total price of $1.70 each - fuck yes) then I passed the fuck out.



PHILOSOPHY

Whenever I go to an 'old town' part of a city and think it looks pretty cool, it always makes me a bit sad.  It tells me that either the city has lost the civic pride it once had or peaked and then hit decline on their building making skill awhile ago.


Note, if this blog is discovered in a couple thousand years, do NOT attempt to start a religion using it. There is already enough silliness in the world.



MEMES

When arriving at a new place, I use to ask myself "Why do they do things this way instead of this other (clearly, in my mind) better way?"  After reading four books, I've come to the conclusion it is due to which memes their culture/town/society/country/group has downloaded.

I've noticed that when I mention "I've read these books" often people have enough curiousity to ask "Which book" but it ends there.  My guess is that they are checking to see if it was a book they were forced to read during school.  The short answer is "No, you've not read any of these books."  I can make a statement like that and will predict I'm over 80% correct which is good enough for me.  But for those who are wondering "What does Logan read since he doesn't waste his time with music", the four books are:

Snow Crash  (Rather lengthy discussion of memes, their possible origins and so on as well as an adventure story)

The God Virus (Religious people avoid this - it will make you question things.  For non-religious or irreligious people this is an interesting look at how religion affects you - even if you are not religious.)

Because I Said So (Fun read.  Deals with all the stuff both wise and amazingly stupid parents stick into their children's heads.  Unfortunately, as adults, we still believe the stupid stuff without questioning it.)

Civilization:  The West and the Rest  (Why are people in much of the world barely eeking out a living or having trouble doing simple business things while western civilization has bought us things like the helicopter?  This book gives half a dozen factors why parts of the world are doing so well economically and others lead a more hand to mouth existence.)



EL BANKO RIPOFFO

Still waiting to see if my bank clears up the $400 that the other bank said they gave me and didn't.  My bank tells me 'it can be up to 10 working days'.  Any time someone says 'it can be up to X working days', rest assured - it fucking will be at least that.  You never seem to get an answer early.  By tomorrow (MON) I will either know or be stressed out more.



TRAVELERS TIP

If your room has an external lock, do not use the one issued to you by the hotel.  I suspect I may have gotten ripped off 100 USD in a hotel by getting careless and lazy.  Use your own lock and hide any valuables as best you can in the room to at least slow down the thieves.



COSTS

Taxi from hostel in Cartagena to bus terminal, 15,000 COP.

Bus from Medellin to some town near the border of Ecuador I can't remember the name of, just under 100,000 COP.

Cab ride from where the bus drops you off to the border, 7000 COP.  For locals that is per taxi load - for gringos, possibly per person.