LOGAN VISITS THE DOCTOR

RANDOM SHIT IN UKRAINE


Went with my buddies in Ukraine to buy a cheap chair today.

The chairs that came with the place I am renting - not comfortable.  The mind can only absorb what the ass can endure or some such.  My ass was unhappy.

So we went to the mall.

It's a nice two story deal that has customers unlike in the USA where they are mostly dead due to Amazon.

Anyway,

The people in Ukraine are not that 'expressive' to people they don't know.  I suspect this is because of the 'bad ole days' (USSR) when if you looked happy it meant you had gotten a new refrigerator from the KGB for informing on your former neighbor or some such.

So when people working in stores see me 'being Logan' they either stare like 'I think he may actually be crazy' or try to keep from cracking up and try to hide it.

But I've studied Paul Ekman so I know.

The poor ladies at the furniture store. 

But, my clowning around often has a positive effect.  People admitting they speak some (or even good) English.

Being able to not take myself at all seriously helps others to open up, just a bit.

Another interesting thing - taxis here show the same attitudes people had toward seat belts in the 1970's (to the best of my recollection).  When I start putting them on, they often say (in Ukrainian or Russian) things like "You don't need that" and "Why are you putting that on" or "What are you doing?  Don't do that!" to which I respond (in English because I'm not that slick) "Hey, I've seen how they drive here.  I'm going to go for that 'double chance to live' thanks."

Turned out our taxi driver spoke a bit of German today.  That was a nice surprise so we did a bit of chatting.



UKRAINE UPDATE (posted to Logan's Voyage Facebook page 3 JUL 18)

I've fallen into a daily rhythm living in this small town in Ukraine.

Every day, I wake up (a needed step), putter around for a bit on the computer then go out for my walk and to get some food.   Get stared at by unsmiling locals who think I may be mad.  In many of the countries once ruled by Russia, smiling is not done outside of friends and family.  Also, the locals might be right.  I've found that (like with many countries) the locals may just be a bit freaked out because they don't get many tourists here.  When you start talking to them they are fine.  So don't take the looks you get while wandering around personally - just chalk it up to culture.  Remember - Russia had to try to teach it's people to smile at others (and not beat up too many gays) for the big month long football thing they had.  Cultural difference.

Come back, shower up, write.  Eventually, dinner comes from an excellent service, MisterAM (https://misteram.com.ua/chernigov)  Which is great because they can bring food from loads of different restaurants.

How do I feel about Ukrainian food?  If you were to put all of the food from all of the countries in a line with one side being great and the other Moldovia, Ukraine food would be somewhere in the middle.  I am not a fan but it keeps my belly full.

Eventually, give up writing and switch to drinking and watching movies or youtube until I go to sleep.  Maybe play some video games.

Once a week I meet up with my good friends - a married couple who live in this town.  We go to the mall so they can buy needed food and I can buy junk food.  I don't cook or want to.

That's about it. 

In a bit less than a month, I will be back in England running the table top RPG which is made into a podcast (https://anchor.fm/ataw for those interested) as well as on youtube (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2TZucbqPpz9Bx8rz57Wbmg/playlists) 

After three months of that, I will find somewhere to go hang out for the winter time.  It will either be in economically fucked Greece or perhaps the south of France.  I'm done with northern Africa and don't want to return to Asia yet again for a long while.

That's my update!



YET MORE RANDOM (LITERAL) SHIT IN UKRAINE

This is the headline hospital story.  For some reason (bastards) I can't understand, tales of Logan's pain and suffering top the charts.  Otherwise, I wouldn't bother telling people about my various physical ailments.  It's something old people love to do  - they don't have much else going on - but nobody cares.

Except apparently people reading this blog.  Watching Logan suffer is like a public execution.  Good clean fun for the whole family.

Warning!


This post deals with horribly disgusting stuff.  If you are offended by such things - well, it's a minor miracle you read this blog at all for starters. 


But this is pretty gross. 


Turn away now.


Still with me?


Right - you've been warned off but yet you are still here.


For the last two or three weeks, my belly has been making increasing loud noises.  Painful gas and my shit has been the combination of a soft serve ice cream server with a high pressure air hose.

That mental imagery is now stuck in you mind.  The next time you have anything remotely resembling that sort of bowel movement, you will think of the ice cream being blasted by an air hose.

It's a thing of beauty and horror.  But mostly horror.  Well, not much in the way of beauty. 

Let's start with a good quote:

Movie:  Formula 51 quote from Shirley DeSouza: "Well, shit in a bag and punch it!"

That's where this story starts out.

Logan attempting to shit into a bag.

I've got some very good Ukrainian friends here - Sergey and Roksana.  They help me out a lot when I come to Ukraine.  This time in particular.  They were the ones that helped me find a place to stay - even did the equivalent of co-signing for me since the landlords were freaked out to have some short stay non-Ukrainian speaking foreigner rent their house.

Way beyond the call of duty.  Amazing people.

So Roksana had gone out and bought me a 'collect your own shit and put it into this small tube' thing from the pharmacy.  I expressed surprise, then concern when I saw it. 

Then the poor lady had to explain to me that 'in Ukraine, this is how it is done' then go into some particulars.

I don't remember how I had to turn in shit in the USA but I remember it all took place at the facility and was not a big deal.  And I was absolutely not scraping my shit into a small cheap sample jar with a plastic knife left over from one of the take outs.

Not a great morning.

And the sample jar did not have a lot to show for it, thus proving my body works against me any chance it can get.  This is why I like punishing it with alcohol and an occasional Q-Tip into the brain.

At the facility I also gave blood.

There was a ton of work for a small sample, but as soon as I left the facility, I found myself rushing to a bathroom in the mall where suddenly UGGG.  Complete with all those sound effects. 

Then again on the way home he tried for another performance but I managed to get the 4.5KM home (I walked from the testing facility for some odd reason) before a repeat performance.

Thanks body.

After that was spent lying in bed aside from typing out this. 

More will happen tomorrow and I'll write about it then.  Some of the blood tests will be done (we hope) before I see the doctor tomorrow so we'll see what happens.

Total cost for two blood tests and one feces test:  About $40/36EUR/31GBP/56AUD.

(It's fun to think that with the exception of AUD I use all of those currencies regularly.  I do hope to visit Oz some day.)

The next day...

You guys are lucky to be able to read it like this.  I had to wait around to the next day to actually come.

Anyway.

Sergey and Rox showed up, we went to a pretty typical Eastern European hospital.  Lots of different corridors with offices built in the most depressing style possible.  While the west calls it 'brutalist architecture', Sergey tells me that here it is called 'Social Realism'.  Funny and depressing.

Paid some money, got an MRI.  I asked the lady if my baby would be OK or not.

Not sure how much Sergey translated.   It is probably best that he does not translate all of the random crap I say.

Anyway, they found a 1mm gall stone.

It's bad but how bad?  The doctor was saying 50/50 a lot when we consulted with him later and prescribed a couple very expensive medicines I should take. 

I asked how much he thought the surgery would be and he estimated around $220 - but I couldn't get it here because I would be flying back to the UK soon.    Plus, there is a fear of doing the surgery here because having a foreigner die on your operating table seems to freak them out.  So I'm stuck.  If they had said "Give us a couple hundred dollars and hop up on this table" I'd have said "Let's do this."  But no.  The changes in air pressure and fear of operating on foreigners - they advised I 'wait and see'.

So I may have to have a surgery in the UK.  If they'll do it.   I'll go consult with a doctor to see what is happening.

But according to Sergey - who was doing the translating and talked to me afterward - the doctor seemed to flip flop a lot in what he was suggesting.  Sergey suggested he might be a shit doctor and advised me to get it checked out in the UK.

So it's looking like I will have to do that.  Google says there is a UK hospital 3KM from where I live so I'll walk my fat ass over there and see how it would work to get treated there.  Does this thing really need to come out?  Will it solve itself?

There are some absolutely horrifying signs I can watch for to see - I am told - that bad things are now happening. 

Itchy skin.
My eyes turn yellow.
My skin turns yellow and I become Homer Simpson.  D'oh.

That is terrifying.  Especially if I start acting like Homer.

The doctor of course said "You will have to change your eating habits..."

I smiled and whispered "I don't think that will happen."

Doctor:  "And you should lose a lot of weight."

Logan:  "It is obvious I lack the willpower to do that."

Doctor:  (Said some other stuff).

Logan:  (Pondering to himself:  I wonder if alcohol will affect this?  Hum.)

Poor Sergey was distraught with my cavalier attitude toward possible impending death.

"I've had a remarkable run." I told him.  This did not reassure him for some reason.

So we'll see what happens. 


Total cost:

Consulting with a doctor
Having an ultrasound
Getting double the dosage of some freaky expensive medicine

Total:  About $100.

CUSCO PERU

CUSCO TO LIMA AND RANDOM MUSINGS

The cheapest airline ticket (around $100) I could find was through 'Star Peru' Airlines.  I expected their website wouldn't work due to slipshod programming and I wasn't disappointed.  They have an office right here in Cusco.  I recognized the street name and staggered (still altitude sick) over to it.

Since they weren't open yet, I stopped by a little artsy place and had some cheese cake and coffee for breakfast.  There were strawberries on top of the cheesecake, so it was healthy.  As I sat around this little art deco place, musings started in my head along the lines of 'where would I visit were money not an issue'?

Every year for half a year, I'd probably be in western and central Europe.

Were I forced somehow to have a residence, it would be somewhere in Germany.

Rich or poor, unless I get hired or bribed heavily, I think I'm done with central and south America.  With the exception of a few diamonds in the rough (Copan, Banos, Cuzco) most of the cities have no more charm than cinder blocks can provide.  Don't get me wrong - I don't mind them if the cost of living is cheap (SE Asia) but here you end up paying quite a bit and wondering 'why?'


Cusco might be the highest I've been in my life.  Aside from Amsterdam.



THE TOUR BUS

As I was wheezing and shuffling around the main square, a tour guide presented me with an offer to get on his double decker open topped bus for 20 sols.  What the hell.  Last day here.

Videos of this trip are below in the 'video' section.   I appologize for the extremely unsteady cam but I suspect the shock absorbers had been sold for magic beans years ago.

En route I was nearly decapitated by a very low hanging wire.  Were it not for moderately fast reflexes and a bit of luck I'd have a tough time with hats.

The truly sad thing is this bus drives the same route several times a day and nobody even though to warn the passengers - much less get the wire hoisted up a bit.  Since I was in South America it didn't astound me.  Glad I didn't say 'it didn't shock me'.  That could have been taken the wrong way.  Oh - so could that.

Moving on.

Two minutes after leaving the first ten minute stop, we did another ten minute stop at a souvenir shop.  Taking a captive audience to an over priced shop where the bus people get kickbacks is a normal tactic.  Normally, the only people who buy anything at these places are the same sort of idiots who think shopping in airports is a grand idea.  We had two on the bus.



PERUVIAN ALCOHOL

Due to being sick, I didn't sample nearly as much as I'd have liked.

The wine I had was excellent.

The beers, however, are cold, wet and infinitely safer than the water.  That's about all that can be said for them.  They're not bad but neither are they worth drinking for taste.



HOW TO SELECT AND USE AN ATM

When going to an ATM, pretend you are a spy who is going to get a hand off.  Be suspicious.  Make sure you're not being sized up for a quick grab and dash.  After using the ATM, make sure you're not followed out.  Get in and out quick - don't linger.  Don't hang out near an ATM if you're not using one.  Tourists tend to have a lot of money compared to locals in most countries.  Don't be a target.

From worst to best, here are the ATM's.

Exposed to the street, no guards.

Inside of an unlocked room.

Inside of an unlocked room with a bored security guard.  This includes ATM's in stores, etc.

Inside of a locked room.  There are ATM's you have to swipe your card at the door just to get in or better still guards have to let you in.

Inside of a bank, only accessible when the bank is.  This is the best because banks tend to have more security to deter people from putting phishing equipment on the ATM.  Also, should the ATM steal your card or give you the wrong bills (or counterfeit) the bank is right there.

I believe it is better to have too much money on you than not quite enough.  As recent history has shown, shit happens.  Your cards will get stolen or compromised and then it comes down to 'do you have rainy day money hidden away somewhere or are you just fucked?'



SHAMPOO

As anyone who has traveled knows (should know) bar soap isn't really good to carry around.  Liquid soap is the way to go.

For some reason, nobody in Peru seems to use liquid soap and it isn't for sale anywhere I could find.

So now I have to make due with shampoo and see if it rejuvenates and makes glossy my pubes.



THE HOSPITAL

The doctor I'd seen in Cusco was insistent that I have my blood pressure checked.  While out wandering around, I came across what appeared to be a hospital.

They had two hefty women at the door checking bags.  In Spanish they demanded to know if I had a camera on me.  Unwilling to admit to or relinquish my camera and not wanting them to be able to search the bag more thoroughly (I could have had a gun in there and they'd have not found it) I began repeating 'photo' and making various outrageous poses as though I wanted them to take my photo.

Rolling their eyes, they let the idiot foreigner inside.

Yeah, boy!

It was a mad house.  Entire families with the 'don't use birth control or you're going to hell' size families all jostled for position.  A kind worker spotted the immense gringo, figured out what I wanted (my Spanish isn't great but blood pressure test isn't hard) and became my personal guide through the bedlam.

It's times like that - when you immediately get a personal guide that being an obvious foreigner is a good deal.

He took me to a much quieter wing and I immediately had three doctors.

The cuff to take the blood pressure was pretty tiny.  When I inquired about it, turns out this is a children's hospital.  I told them I was a 'grande nino' (giant child) and that got a laugh.

They had to use surgical tape on the blood pressure cuff but it worked and showed my BP had fallen 15 points since leaving the high altitude of Cusco.

Excellent.

They all bade me farewell.  No charge.

Afterward, I went and celebrated with empinada kaso (cheesy bread).



TRAVELERS TIPS

Never be the last one back on the bus after a stop.  You might lose your seat, everyone on the bus thinks you are inept - especially if the driver had to look for you and lastly you might just get left behind.


If you are in a poor country, don't buy things which accept credit cards.  Heck, you should only be using your credit card (or debit etc) at ATM's anyway.  There is a huge markup at these 'nice' shops.  Instead, buy things from individuals hawking them well outside of the tourist area.  Not only will you get a better deal but you put money directly into the pockets of the people to whom it makes a great deal of difference.  But mainly, you get a better deal.


Use liquid soap:  With a bar you always have three choices:  Try to dry it and stick it in a bag (lot of work for little result), keep it in a soap dish (inevitably it leaks) or buy them for each place you go (extra weight and waste).  The liquid soap in a plastic bottle is easy to carry and doesn't get disgusting in repeated use.  Also, it doesn't mess up your bag.



VIDEOS

Bus tour 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11



TV SHOW REVIEW

I've been watching 'Jonathan Creek'.  Interesting but as with all British TV (compared to American) painfully slow.

It's like Sherlock Holmes (pick one) except that the audience has a good chance of actually solving the crime.



STRANGE DREAMS

Had a weird dream I was writing a book and when I woke up I felt compelled to write down what I'd written in the dream.  I suspect it's the weird rum here - it causes the spirit of Hemingway to enter your body and make you write.  Not well, but make you write.

If a time travel offered you the choice between death and exile, which would you take?  Exile seems the most likely.  Nope.  Death?  No.  The answer is neither and with a lot of bitching and whining.  And that's after they believe it.

Not the way I'd do it at all.  Kidnap and replace with the double.  Take them to the future and say "Do you want all this or death?"  If they choose death, boom - done.  "But we're not murderers!"  Not unless you count the poor clones.

Instead of just pulling the whole switch in a quick shuffle, we have to interview them and get all touchy feely with their feelings.  Look buddy - I get that you love your wife but no you can't take her with you.  Fuck no you can't tell her you're dead and getting taken off to the future to be a living zoo exhibit while your clone gets the bullet in it's head.  Hell, how do you think she'd feel knowing you are getting loads of adoring students and an elongated life while she gets stuck burying a corpse with half it's head missing?  And that she isn't going to get taken off with you?

Where it all went wrong with me was probably Martin Luther King.  It might have been my off color joke that we were just now getting to him years after the program had been going because he was black.  Probably not funny.  And then there's always the problem of getting him alone.  What an entourage that guy had.  Then, I gotta convince him to go.

I beg him to let us switch him out with the clone at the last moment.  Nobody will know.  He tells me that if he is fated to die and become a martyr he won't base that legacy on a lie.  I bite back telling him he should come with me back to the holy land and see the schmo they built all them churches to.  But I keep quiet.  People only believe what they want to believe.  He won't let me take him.  And that's not the worst part.  The boys upstairs start accusing me of not wiping his memory.  Or doing a botched job of it.  The shrinks are saying that after I meet up with the man they see tiredness and resignation in his eyes.

Keep tellin' them of course I zapped him.  Don't think they believe me.   Did I zap him?  Yeah, sure.  Sure I did.  He was a class act.



PHILOSOPHY

"The worst thing about being an atheist is the inability to effectively blaspheme." - Logan Horsford



PRICES

In Cusco, around 50 sols for a private room seems pretty average.  You can get them cheaper but they are fairly terrible.  Even the 50 sols ones aren't that great.

MORE PAIN

NARRATIVE

After traveling from Nazca to Cusco via 14-17 hours with Cruz Del Sur (they're a good bus line) I arrived in Cusco.

Not only had my back and such gone into spasms from the bus, not only was my leg getting worse but now I had altitude sickness.  I didn't realize it before but the city of Cusco is at about ten thousand feet.  Don't jets normally cruise with their pressurized cabins at that altitude?  The symptoms I was experiencing included dizziness, disorientation, nausea and a growing hatred of Peru. 

I was fucked.

After staggering off the bus, talking with some tourists who were leaving to find out a good place to stay (and I did - being social can pay off) I tried to eat some food.  Nausea trumped hunger.  Off to the doctors.

Like all doctors they wanted to run a bunch of tests on me.  As 'medical tourism' will become more and more of a thing as the USA gets more and more out of control, here are the tests and the costs.  Note I think they were giving me a very good deal because I don't have travel insurance and was having a nice time chatting to the doctors who spoke excellent English.

Blood test.  Cost, 70 sols ($25).  Results back within a half an hour.  Everything looked fine on it - which impressed me as I've brutalized my kidneys for years.

Chest xray.  Cost, 70 sols ($25).  My heart was slightly enlarged due to high blood pressure making it work overly hard.  Not life threatening but certainly need to get that blood pressure down.

EKG.  Cost, free.  Nothing showed on that.

Doctor exam.  Normally, they charge 80 sols but kindly did it for free.

Medicines (various).  Cost, 20 sols ($7), including a drip they wired up to me.

Not sure if my blood pressure is going down but I'm stuck here till Sunday to find out.  The one thing the doctor said that really stuck in my head:  "Sometimes, the high elevation of Peru causes problems for people with high blood pressure."  I took this as "Peru is trying to kill you, bitch, and may do it.  Escape while you can."

All of these treatments were done at "Macsalute", a private clinic across the street from the amazingly crowded 'national regional hospital'.  A big thanks to them and I will write a Sunday followup.



THE LOCK INCIDENT

My room has an external lock with a large, crappy lock.  There is an inner door that can have another lock.  Since the security here isn't especially tight I broke out one of the locks I carry everywhere and locked that puppy up tight.

Then I noticed my bag I carry everywhere wasn't on me.  It had the keys for the lock within.

Well, shit.

I figured this wasn't the first time this had ever happened and owning a bolt cutter - or at least a hacksaw should be mandatory for all hostels.

Naturally, they didn't have anything like that.

After some time went by of the locals discovering how much tougher locks made in the USA are than the crap you can buy overseas and breaking some rocks on them they told me they would get a workman and it would be one, maybe two hours.

In this part of the world, that gives three possibilities:

1.  Nobody would ever show up and I would never see my stuff again.  The room would become a kind of memorial to Logan and never be used again.  In the year 3062, someone would find a way in, possibly through a wall while digging for archaeological treasures.

2.  They would end up tearing off the door and possibly breaking several nearby windows.  Since this is my fault, I would be charged the cost of the entire hostel.

3.  The workman would bring no tools or the wrong ones.  When they eventually showed up with the right tools, I would be charged for several visits of the workman and end up putting all of the children he and his wife can pump out through college.

Instead, I told them "I'll take care of it."

This brought looks of mild astonishment as though they'd never considered a non-Spanish speaking gringo could figure out how to remove a lock.  It's probably best I didn't have lockpicks handy and just pick it.  That would have probably brought the police to deport me to a country where I'd have to pay the 'reciprocal fees'.

After interrogating several unsuspecting locals I found out the name for what I wanted, the district it was in and the word I suspect means something like 'hardware store'.

While there, I picked up a new lock as well.

After sawing off the old one, I then sold the hacksaw to the hostel owner.  She may have bought it just to get it out off my hands.

Holding up a hacksaw and laughing manically does that.



DOCTOR FOLLOW UP

Went back to the doctor.  He said I am getting better but honestly, I can't see it.  I think getting the hell out of this altitude may help a lot.  He prescribed yet more medicines for me to take and said I should get my blood pressure taken in Lima.

Personally, I can't wait till I no longer have medical shit to write about.



WINE

A friendly tout had been trying to get me to go into his restaurant for a couple of days.  I finally went - mainly because it was close to the hostel and the weather was shit.  It's the kind of place with cloth tablecloths.

I resisted the waiters attempt to up sell me and just went with the ravioli.  He asked "Would you like some Peruvian wine with your meal?"

"Do I look like the kind of person that drinks wine?"  Note, I am dressed pretty poorly with my sweater and wrap pants on.

"Yes." he replied.

So I looked at the wine list.  He sold me a small bottle (300ml) of wine (25 sols).

You should have seen his expression when I smelled then tested the cork, checked the wine for 'legs' and sentiment and chewed the initial taste.  Yes, Logan knows how to taste wine.

Weird, I know.

COSTS

Taxi, pretty much anywhere, about 5 sols.
Hacksaw, 20 sols.
Good meal at the Irish pub which tastes so much better than any local food I've come across, 20 sols with coca tea.
Beer at Irish place, 10-15 sols (expensive).
Peruvian wine at a 'fine dining' establishment, 25 sols.
Ravioli, 16 sols.

THE DOCTOR VISIT

DISCLAIMER

I'd first off like to apologize for discussing my medical stuff.

There is nothing that screams 'You are dull as fuck and have nothing better going on in your life if you are sitting around talking about your medical problems with someone who is not a medical professional being paid to listen to your woes'.

Really.

Normally, I try to be very vague about my medical problems if someone asks then I try to quickly change the topic of conversation - simply because I know the only person it's relevant to is me.

The reason I'm discussing them here is twofold:

First, the readers of this blog seem to enjoy when I am in pain, suffering or in hospital.  My only guess as to why is because they find it amusing.  Or they believe I should suffer because I'm doing cool stuff (well, traveling) and this is the yang to that yin and it makes the world more right.

Second, it gives a bit of a view into what getting medical care in other...er...less developed countries is like.

And, I reveal the costs.  Unlike lame travel writers.  As a bonus.



THE DOCTOR VISIT

Sadly, it wasn't Doctor Who coming to visit me.

For about the fourth or fifth time on this trip, I managed to get another case of conjunctivitis.  Note that the eye in the link looks a lot better than what my eyes looked like before I went.

I'd tried some self medicating because doctors usually give me the same thing but after a week it became obvious it wasn't working.

So I consulted with Janet who runs the hostel at which I am staying.

She stuck me in a $1.25 USD taxi and I was off to Hospital Badesda, pronounced like 'Bethesda' - the famous hospital.

Didn't look like the famous hospital at all.

In fact, when we pulled up, I couldn't tell it was a hospital.  (Yes, apparently you can get surgery here but it would frighten me.  Less than a field tent in Africa, but still scary.)

After shrugging and paying off the cab driver (you do a lot of shrugging if you travel long enough) I went in and requested to see the best doctor in the whole town, Dr Proano.

This guy is a general practitioner, not an eye doctor.  But I'm still in Banos and it's an amazingly small town.  Fortunately, the doctor speaks excellent English.  Trying to explain 'conjunctivitis' in Spanish is rough.  Yes, it is the same word but that is no guarantee I will be understood.  Note, you can slightly mispronounce words in Spanish and - unlike Russian - maybe you'll get understood.  But when you're dealing with medical stuff?  Ug.

But he was not only familiar with this affliction but understood my condition.  After briefly checking out my eyes he suggested not only steroidal eye drops but a big damn needle in my ass.

Sadly, that is the only thing he would put into my ass.

I really wanted to get my prostate checked as well.  He waffled on about needing blood tests and such but I think he was reluctant to stick his finger up my ole chocolate whizway.   Mind you, I am not thrilled about anyone double knuckling up their either but (ha!) I figure it's better than prostate cancer.

The doctor didn't think so.

It might be another five or ten years before that gets checked.  I thought it was suppose to be every year.  Ah well.

The only note of discord happened when the nurses attempted to take my blood pressure.

They came up with 110/70.  I told the doctor he might want to retake it himself.  He came up with 170/110.  I'm not sure how wildly incompetent you have to be to fuck up taking blood pressure.  I've personally only ever seen it done and learned to do it myself from just watching it.  I carry my own manual blood pressure taking stuff with me.

So I would make a hell of a nurse.  In Ecuador.  Aside from not being able to speak Spanish.  But I could accurately take blood pressure.

For those who know about blood pressure and are thinking 'holy shit - his is amazingly high' - yes, I'm on three medications to combat it.

I have to buy a lot of pills.  No, I don't have any insurance.  Obamacare is not going to save me.

Fortunately, the locals of the countries I live in don't have much money - or out of  control lobbyists so getting treated isn't cripplingly (ha!) expensive.



COSTS (compare to your home country!)

Consult with the doctor, $20
Eye drops, $7
Shot with a big damned needle into my ass, $8 plus pain

Janeane Garofalo is stalking me

MORE DOCTOR SHENANIGANS

So I called up the VA and told a nurse there "I would like it if I could get sent a list of what all medication I'm on to make sure I am taking the right stuff." "We can't do that." she responded. "So - I'm not suppose to be able to verify the medicines YOU want me to take? So I should accidentally overdose and die and that's OK? Doesn't that kind of line up the VA for a lawsuit?"

She passed the buck immediately and told me that she would have my doctor called me back. I like that the VA can give me my medicine for free but my God, what a bureaucratic mess.

The saddest thing is that my blood pressure - the whole reason I went in - is back up to what it was. My vision is a bit blurry and my hands are shaking just a little. Much hate for doctors right now.

I guess it's kind of a good news, bad news thing. The good news is I have a pretty decent supply of medicine to start me off - the bad news is that it doesn't seem to work very well. Sigh.



WHAT MOVIES WOULD YOU TAKE?

I have about 500-600 gig of movies. They nicely fit on a one TB drive. If I wanted to take the 1TB drive, I'd also have to take the external drive reader and then worry about only having one power converter. I said "Screw that". The hard drive on the tiny, non-expandable netbook is 1/4th of a TB - 250gigs. More than enough space for someone who isn't interested in storing or watching movies. So, I said to myself 'even with all of the other crap on there, I could still get up to 100gigs of movies on there without really filling it up.' After going through my hard drive storage, I came out with like 60gig of movies I decided I'd like to take with me.

So, I selected just the movies I'd bring with me. Some were movies I wanted to see again, others were 'comfort movies' - movies I find myself re-watching in different moods. Because I'm guessing that there is someone out there who is curious as to what kinds of movies I'd take with, I'm making a list. In order to keep it from just being a list, I'm also putting in some comments on some of the movies.

Here's the list for those who are interested:

Doctor Who - 2005, 2006, 2007.
Austin Powers 1,2,3
Back to the Future 1,2,3 - This totally counts as a 'comfort' trilogy.
Basketball
Bourne 1,2,3 - I would have paid good movie to not have the 'unsteady cam'. Unsteady cam is a cheap film school stunt that the director never ever learned MUST be used sparingly. Or hire camera men who don't have the fucking shakes.
Conan 1,2 - Wish there had been a #3.
Constantine - I've heard that the theater opening is just pretty much an advertisement for the DVD from some directors. I think that's bullshit. I can pretty much tell you if there will be a sequel made to a movie. On IMDB they have two figures - 'budget' and 'gross'. If the budget exceeds the gross, no more movies of that type will be made unless something very odd and very extraordinary happens. The chance is so slim that you pretty much can assume it will never happen. Constantine is one of those movies I wish had a bigger gross.
Day After Tomorrow - For some reason I have yet to figure out, this is one of the films I watch when I'm not feeling positive.
Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid - I made a module out of this one. If you ever watch the movies and see how the detective in that (played by Steve Martin) spouts off some 'nobody knows that' stuff, I would like to point out that one of the players I had live DID know that stuff. I had even changed some of it to fit into the campaign better. He would say "Ah- that is obviously referring to the Chinese year of the Rat, which would mean (and correctly calculate the year for the 1920's campaign we were playing in) and spit out the year. Everyone just stared at him and felt a little dumber. I believe that player we called "Doctor John". As he was an awesome player, he suddenly disappeared. Fortunately, I've managed to retain some awesome players since but that use to be the rule - if the player is great, they disappear. If they were average or less you had them forever.
Dogma
Down Periscope
Enemy of the State - Nice spy film.
Eurotrip - This film will help get me through Europe.
Fifth Element
Firefly 1-14 - Of course I have to have Firefly. I still think one of the best reasons to get a dimensional hopper is to find a dimension where Fox didn't suck so bad and kept the show going for five years or more. Then, I would go there and buy them all. For awhile, I would hold onto them and my players would think I am the best GM ever - equaled only by Joss W himself. Then, I'd sell the discs to Joss. He could then watch them and have a good cry or release them to a better studio. The actors would be very confused, however.
Formula 51 - A film that educates you on England. Original title, "The 51st State". Being that Americans were too dim to even know how they should be slandering England, the title was changed for release in the US but kept for release in England.
Galaxy Quest
Hogfather - This one doesn't get a lot of love but it is my 'Christmas movie'.
Hopscotch - Another solid spy movie.
Independence Day
Indiana Jones 1,2,3 - THERE WAS NO FOURTH MOVIE. BURN IN HELL LUCAS.
Italian Job
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
Joe vs the Volcano - This is a nice travel movie.
Kick Ass - Yes, TJ, it made the cut.
La Femme Nikita - Aside from people who hung out back in the 'Swamp House' back in the day, few people have ever seen this. I am going to guess - before he even says anything - that Pete has seen this because he likes to go to the Melbourne Movie Fest and watch all kinds of movies that nobody else liked enough to put them on the 'big screen'. I do watch this in the original French and it isn't a bad one to help with your French language.
Lawrence of Arabia - My favorite scene in this was when Lawrence was telling his superiors he had shot someone and wanted to be relieved of command. I've had days where I've felt like this.
Loaded Weapon
Logan's Run
Mad Max 1,2,3 - Like other American's, I didn't really care for Mad Max 1. I brought that one along merely for completeness.
Matrix - Two and three were, IMO, sucktastic.
Mystery Men - One of the few good Janeane Garofalo movies. She was also good in Dogma but there way too briefly. [And yes, Janeane, if you are reading this I didn't think the other movies did your talent justice. Or sucked. Or both. And stop stalking me, woman!]
Princess Bride - Always a classic.
Queen of the Damned - The only movie where I can honestly say I like the soundtrack as much as - or more than - the movie itself.
Real Genius - Val Kilmer before he got old, fat and rich. I'm just like him except for the last one.
Ronin - Good, solid spy movie.
Saint, The - Another of Val Kilmer's most excellent movies. I think he had three. Top Secret, Real Genius and The Saint.
Serenity - Need it.
Three Days of the Condor - Solid though very old and dated spy movie.
Top Secret
Twister - Another 'comfort food' movie.
Zombieland - You can never tell when you're going to need some of the rules to living among zombies in your daily life.


I may end up getting some more on there before I go.