LOGAN'S HOME INVASION

LOST IN TRANSLATION

Innkeeper:  I hope the child isn't making too much noise.
Logan:  Don't worry - the noise they make is only one of the two reasons I don't want to have kids.
Innkeeper:  (pause)  You don't like children?
Logan:  Their little voices cut through my soul like broken glass.  Other than that, they're fine.
Innkeeper:  (smiles uncertainly)  So kid no problem?
Logan:  None for me thanks, none of that immaculate conception rubbish either.  If I end up being someone's father I want my five seconds of joy in return for eighteen years of suffering.
Innkeeper:  I don't understand you.
Logan:  I get that a lot - even in America.



FES AIRPORT NOTE

They have two different money changers.  The government one you must produce a receipt showing you got money out of the ATM or a receipt of exchange in order to use them.  The non-government one, you grab your ankles.



CONDOR AIRWAYS

You check in either via telephone (ancient tech) or online.  For online check in, you are required to reserve your seat.  According to the website, if you don't check in two  hours or more before your flight, they threaten you with losing your seat.  Online, the seat reservation is either a 'joker' reservation where they put you in any seat they want for 5 EUR or pick a seat for 15 EUR.  I picked a seat away from everyone else and ended up getting two seats for the ten hour flight. Worth it.

Also, unlike Ryan Air, Condor was very helpful in the terminal and printed off my boarding pass.  Condor Air seemed much nicer to deal with.

If you are too lame to carry standard headphones, Condor Air is happy to rent you some to watch the in flight movies for 3.50 EUR.



AIRPORT NOTES

Sitting and people watching at an airport is a good time.  I lost count of how many people I saw sprinting through the airport, apparently late for their plane.  Even a couple people who completely missed it.  Why more people don't show up several hours early when they have so much money riding on the line is a mystery.



FRANKFORT AIRPORT NOTES

They have two different airports.  One is Hahn which is no where close to Frankfort and the other is Frankfort International Airport.

For 14 EUR, you can take a pretty comfortable bus between the two for the couple hour drive.

While on this bus, I met up with a German girl who is 'from' and has lived in more nations than I can remember.  We chatted until she literally fell asleep.  If I were able to strike up conversations with pretty girls this easily when I was young, I'd have been a menace.



ARRIVAL IN THE STATES

First thing in the states, I told the people at customs I was 'jonesing for a cigarette'.  They informed me smoking on airport grounds was an 'arrestable offence' and this late at night all of the taxis were gone so I'd have to walk off airport grounds to have a smoke.   I made dismaying noises and they all had a good laugh at my expense.

This is good because they were so busy laughing they didn't search my bags.  I had 'a few' extra cigarettes and my meds which might have otherwise been seized.

For those wondering, yes, I intentionally fed them that straight line.



ORLANDO AIRPORT NOTES

Homeland security seems to have taken over the airports and is now making people remove their shoes and hop into the "I can see you naked" machine in order to continue justifying their huge budget.



NOTE ON TRAVEL DISTANCES IN THE USA

For my European friends, a good example why you need a vehicle:  My friend Tim lives approximately 50 KM away from where he regularly shops.  Bit too far to comfortably walk.  Everything in America (aside from in the big cities) is a ways away.



RACIAL PROFILING

My friend Tim was wearing a Ghutra (traditional Arabic head wrap) because he likes it and during the summer it keeps your head cool.

We were approaching a Chinese restaurant to see if it was still open.  As we walked toward it, we both heard a 'click' from the door of Stafford Ballet Academy.

They locked the fucking door in fear we might think about entering.

It wouldn't surprise me if the proprietor was hiding behind the counter, frantically dialing 911.



BIG BAG WEIGHT

Bloated up to 16.7 KG.  I'm going to dump a bunch of stuff very soon.

In the US, it was 36.5 LBS.  I looked shocked and protested - so used to kilos.  "It's in American." she explained.  Yes, welcome back to  the land of obsolescent measuring systems.



PARENTAL IRONY

When I told my parents I was going to Central and South America, they immediately warned me of drug cartels.  In Morocco, one of the cities I visited (Essouara?  The 'Blue City')  actually produces one quarter of all the hash consumed in the world.



PHILOSOPHY

Why was the person who invented 'babble headed dolls' allowed to live?

On idealistic 18-20 year olds and those who 'want to save the world':  "Kind of like watching someone paint their house with water colors.  It's amusing and a little sad.  You know that after the first big rain, most of it will be swept away and that the whole thing is ultimately fruitless."



QUOTES

(From Dave, Tim Van Theemsche's friend):  "If you do meet Logan, you'll know why Tim is the way he is."

Touching!



VIDEOS

Weaving in Fes

And, from America:
Swing Hat
American Dream
Malls explained 1, 2, 3, 4
Sunlight hurts
Tim in native environment



COSTS

Duty free cigarettes (on Condor Air), 39.50 EUR in a 'two for one' deal.  I'd heard smokes were 8 USD per pack.  In Virginia (tobacco growing state) they are 5 USD per pack.

In USA:

Beer, in restaurant, on sale, approx .3 liter, 3 USD
Lunch special (two meals of food), $11

Note, in the USA how they keep the herd fat is they offer insane deals like "If you want half an order (of food) it is $8 - full sized order is $9."  For a 16 oz (?) drink it is 1.49 USD.  Double the size, 1.69 USD.  Americans have no chance.

BEHOLD THE POWER OF CHEESE!

BEHOLD THE POWER OF CHEESE!

I was in a store and they had a big wheel of cheese. In Asia, cheese is fairly rare. I asked if I could try a small piece to see if I liked it. The proprietor happily cut off a bit. I tried it and didn't like it. But I recognized it.

"Yak cheese?" I said.
"Female yak!" He replied.
"You try to milk males here?" I said.



ASIAN PLUMBING SUCKS

When I was in the Republic of Georgia, there was a lot of hubbub about the plumbing. If it was difficult people would disappear and not try to fix it. If they did fix it, they usually left it messed up. The lack of 'skilled workers' was amazing.

It turns out this is an 'Asia-wide' thing.

Pretty much all over India and Nepal the plumbing sucks really bad.

When I first got into the room I'm at, the toilet had a slow leak from somewhere. This would leave the floor wet. If you wanted to take a dump you had a choice. Get naked or wear wet pants afterward.

After they 'fixed' it, water would explode out of the top of the tank when the toilet was flushed. I swear to gods that sometimes it is best just to throw yourself violently to one side after flushing. I had one urinal that would spray you in the crotch after flushing.

Unless the guests complain, such things are never ever noticed or fixed.

Fortunately, after a couple of attempts, my toilet was actually fixed.

I am waiting for it to randomly explode now.



SHOE REPAIR SQUAD

A group of three Indian males wanted me to go down a dark alley with them so they could fix my sandal. After discovering that repeated attempts to lure me down the alley failed, they opted to fix it somewhere more public. Then, they offered to sell me drugs. Yippie.



BEERS

Nepal Ice - not as good as many of the others. I'd avoid it.



THE THREE UNRELIABLE AMERICAN W'S

According to a Nepali gentleman (Nirgel) I was talking to, he said there are three W's upon which - in America - one may not depend: weather, work and women.



ASIAN LORE

According to a man from Nepal, Asians will freely spend money on three things: girls, gambling and alcohol. This explains why the beer prices are insane here.



RESTAURANT REVIEW - THE MAROON RESTAURANT

Owner, Nirjal. He's super cool with very good English skills.

The breakfast is a pretty good value at 180 NRS. It's more food than I can eat. It includes toast (2 s), cooked tomato (Brit style), eggs, sausage and potatoes. Normally it also includes cornflakes or some such but I take an extra cup of coffee bringing the total I get to two. It's a filling breakfast and tastes pretty decent.

The dinners are about 350 NRS on up. I've had two and both I would call 'decent' but not wonderful.

I've discussed 'kickers' and 'draw' items with Nirjal and he may be making a very cheap breakfast to get more clients daily.


RESTAURANT REVIEW - Munchster

Pretty much a fast food place. Chicken burger and fries with small drink, 200 NRS.

The meat was so thin it only had one side.



NEPAL GANGSTER ACTIVITY

From the various locals I've spoken with, loansharking and other gangster type activities appear to be widely done within Nepal. These sort of things are invisible to most tourists but I spend a lot of time hanging out and chatting to locals. These things are of course illegal but done on a very wide scale.

They also have a lot of very strong unions which do sometimes go on strike here. Often, when you hire someone it is completely impossible to fire them. I'm thinking that will help keep the country 'developing' as opposed to 'developed'.

No, I'm not planning on pursuing this line of inquiry. It's all risk and no reward. I just thought I'd make a note of it.



ON LIVING CHEAPLY

When I was initially doing research for the trip, I looked up the average wage made in various countries hoping that would give me an idea of the cost of living. It really doesn't. Although the average person in Nepal might make less than $100 per month it is pretty grim to live like that. You will be in a very depressing area and eat only noodles and drink water. Sad.

The actual trick is to find out how much it costs to live comfortably. Right now, I can live decently on $25-$30 per day. Note that this is only spending a tad over $20 per day but I also have to add in things like the cost of the visa, transport, medicine and whatnot. When you're on the cheap end of the scale it tends to add up very quickly.

Before I went to India, I had a lot of people telling me I could live for under $10 per day. Apparently, they were willing to accept hardships which I do not want to accept or they were not good at keeping track of how much they actually spent or they were full of shit.

In both India and Nepal to live decently - with some comfort I would advise a budget of $30 to $40 per day depending on what you are doing. Don't forget that Asia has a double standard on prices and you will pay between 10% and 600% more than the natives for things. I call it the 'rip off whitey' factor.

If you want to go trekking in Nepal, your daily allowance will need to be increased. According to travelers I spoke with, prices of everything rise with the elevation.

With the exception of constantly sweating, Cambodia is thus far my country of choice for the intersection between living cheaply and comfort.

In order to get to the other countries I may skip over it on the way out but then hit it when heading back. We'll see how my schedule works out later.



TRAVELER'S LORE

By Nepali standards, Indonesia is cheap. Unfortunately for the people of Nepal, the government of Indonesia still has a grudge about World War 2. For a three day visa, citizens of Nepal get to pay $100 USD.


In Bhutan, the minimum salary is much higher than Nepal although the standard of living is much lower. A lot of Nepali go there to make some money and take it home.



QUOTES (AND PARAPHRASING) FROM SMART PEOPLE

Why the quotes? As Sir Winston Churchill said, "It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations." I've learned that people who call themselves 'educated' don't tend to be. Schooled perhaps but not educated. Since the grand sum of my nearly five decades on this planet has highlighted the vast depths of my ignorance I like quotes. You don't have to sit up all night thinking about something clever to say about a topic. Chances are good someone a lot smarter already has said something a lot more clever than anything I'll come up with. Even if I spent two nights thinking about it. So, I study quotes from time to time. Since I do, you get to as well. Lucky bastards.

"To travel hopefully is better than to arrive." - Robert Lewis Stevens, 1880.

"The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page." - St. Augustine.

"One of the gladdest moments of human life, methinks, is the departure upon a distant journey into unknown lands. Shaking off with one mighty effort the fetters of habit, the leaden weight of routine, the cloak of many cares and the slavery of home, man feels once more happy." - Sir Richard Burton. [This is the longest quote I like. Beyond this length, you may as well write a short story rather than a quote.]

"Without new experiences, something inside of us sleeps. The sleeper must awaken." - Frank Herbert "Dune".

"The wise man travels to discover himself." - James Russell Lowell.

"Don't tell me how educated you are, tell me how much you traveled." - Mohammed. [A zinger from Mohammed! Who'd have thunk it?"

“To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.” – Freya Stark.

“Tourists don’t know where they’ve been, travelers don’t know where they’re going.” – Paul Theroux.

“A journey is best measured in friends, rather than miles.” – Tim Cahill

“Travel and change of place impart new vigor to the mind.” – Seneca. [Side note, it's amazing how much stuff Seneca is credited with saying. He must have been a very clever dude.]

“Travel is glamorous only in retrospect.” – Paul Theroux.

"I haven’t been everywhere, but it’s on my list." - Susan Sontag



LOVE POEM




VIDEOS

Temple re dedication parade
Walk through Pokhara Riverside
Monastery
Parade 1
Parade 2
Potato Festival Documentary
Village of the Bored

Monkey Temple 1
Monkey Temple 2
Monkey Temple 3

Frightening Food [Note, this was the special, it was 'decent' and 350 NRS.]



PRICES

Climbing Mount Everest, $200,000 to $500,000 per person. Huge amounts have to be paid for mandatory training classes, government permits and such. After all that money is done, then you can buy gear, provisions and whatnot. It staggers me just how much it costs.

Surf n Turf, 450 NRS

Big, thick steak from Everest Restaurant which is supposedly the best in town, 600 NRS. Note, I have not eaten here.