CHANGES

CHANGES IN AMERICAN CUSTOMS

There have been a lot of big changes just in my brief lifetime.  While many of them (the rise of the computer, gay acceptance, etc) are daily hammered into us, here are five which are less well publicized.


CARRYING THE BRIDE OVER THE THRESHOLD

While some have claimed it's "So the bitch can't escape" the actual answer seems a bit more complicated than that.

I mean, there are easier ways to make sure the bride can't run off...

In the olden days there were a lot of kidnappings and some how having the man's hands full of woman - instead of weapon - prevented it.  Doubtless if your bride was a midget, you'd have an easier time of things.  Yet another reason midgets are superior.

Plus, you'd have the whole 'Mad Max' thing going.

Evil spirits might enter the bride unless she was carried over the threshold.  That was a problem back then.  These days who wouldn't want a 'demon in the sack'?

Being out of your mind insane - or better still possessed - while having sex is probably a huge turn on for most men.

Carrying a woman over the threshold also highlighted her modesty - she didn't want to appear to keen to lose her virginity.  By her husband grabbing her and carrying her in, he was asserting his manly dominance and she was just the helpless party.   According to a study, seven out of ten people have had sex by the time they're nineteen years old.  It is unknown if the other three are lying.  Hence, your chances of carrying a virgin are pretty slim.  In this age of women still working to get liberated women may or may not have had as many or more sexual partners than the men.

Lugging your bride over the threshold also sought to escape the bad luck that would befall the wife were she to trip over the threshold while entering her new home.  Honestly, if her husband fell on her, her luck would probably be worse.

Especially if these two were trying to carry each other...

These days you might trip over one of her children from a previous hookup while entering the house.  Which brings us to -

BASTARD

The dictionary definition of a bastard is 'a person born of parents not married to each other'.

Back in the eleventh century (a couple years before even my time) the term 'bastard' had more severe connotations.  It was a big deal.  Even William the Conqueror was sometimes called William the Bastard.  Presumably when he couldn't hear it.

Free room and board for calling the king 'a bastard'?  Who wouldn't be excited about that?

In popular culture and usage, the word's primary definition has slowly changed to become a mild insult.

The reason is that in the USA there is one divorce every thirty six seconds, your chances of knowing or being a 'bastard' are pretty good.

"If the divorce rate is 50%, when two people say 'I do', one is lying." - Logan Horsford.

To get away from a lot of bastards, you might need to take a -


ROAD TRIP

Back in the 1980's, Americans would regularly take road trips.  European's apparently haven't had this custom since their early 1900's as gas prices seem to be double or triple the USA.

In the USA, you'd typically pile into a car with several friends and drive off to somewhere else on a fairly flimsy premise for anywhere from a couple hours to a whole day.  Heck, they even built special roads back in the 1950's which helped out with this.

For longer road trips, things like the iconic Route 66 became popular.

Soaring gas prices have ensured the last most people have heard of 'Road Trip' was the mediocre movie released in the year 2000.

Of course, you might not need to take a road trip for something special when you can just do some -

DRUGS

One of the earlier conversations I overheard a group of adults discussing was drugs.  They were discussing them in hushed, serious tones.  Apparently, one of the older boys had been caught with some...marijuana.

In the 1970's, many non-hippies believed that doing any sort of drugs would inevitably lead to snorting cocaine off a hookers ass

Love the internet.  You want a picture of someone sorting coke off a hookers' ass?  You got it.

Eventually, drugs would cause you to spin out of control and exhibit bizarre, anti-social behavior.

Like dressing in garb from the ninetieth century.

Back then, drugs were bad, but today have gained a lot of social acceptance.

But paling in comparison to drugs are all of the other -

DISTRACTIONS

Drugs aren't the only wildly addictive thing.

Statistics for texting and driving are pretty shocking.  Not enough for people to stop it - clearly causing several hundred dollars in damage to your (or your parents) car is preferable to any delay in seeing a message that won't really influence your life.

Screw my life and the lives of others.  I'm entitled to be able to do this!

While it's a great ad campaign, you're going to have to wait until a specific person runs over a kid.  Will that stop them from texting while driving or will they want to immediately text "Ran over kid LOL, FML."

Because anything is better than having a conversation with the person you are actually...with.  It's a new way to live 'in the moment'.  Not the moment you are actually in but one that obviously can't be delayed.  Look at the bright side - if you were actually with the person who was texting you, you would probably ignore them in favor of anyone else who sent you a text.

Does anyone else consider it  boorish behavior when people ignore you to yammer on their cells or text?  This is especially tragic since many people haven't seemed to figure out that cell phones enable speaking to a person who is at a distance.  Hence, you don't need to yell.

They are taking away time we have together.  Time we will never have again.  Then again, with people like that, perhaps it is not a bad thing.

With all of the electronic devices yammering for our attention, multitasking has become a popular enough buzz word that even spell check recognizes it.

Despite corporations banging on about how they want people who can do it and people believing they can, studies have shown this to be a myth.  Hence, when you think you are paying attention to someone talking to you in a restaurant but 'just checking something real quick' you are lying to yourself and being rude to the person you're with.  Or you are trying to signal them that spending time with anyone anywhere else would be preferable to hanging out with them.

PRICES (ODESSA, UKRAINE)

Carton (10 packs) of cigarettes, approximately $15  (for US readers, that's a buy 1-3 packs and get the rest free)

Glasses:  These vary widely between $15 and $100, including everything.  Eye exams are free.

Dental:  Getting a teeth cleaning is a bit pricey but everything else is cheaper here.  People regularly travel to Ukraine for 'dental tourism'.  Cleaning with free X-ray, approximately $50.

Beer:  1 liter, approximately $1.50.

Hot dog, very small building on the street, grab and go, about $2.

Note that imported goods are much more expensive, especially when the local currency plummets in value as it is now (29/3/14).



CONTACT INFORMATION

Questions or comments?  Follow me on Facebook (look for the Logan Horsford that looks like me) or twitter @logan9a

BJ ALLEY AND SATAN

FORWARD PLANNING

Did some preliminary studying of the potential route I'm contemplating after I get done in Odessa.

Some people will say "Why does he concentrate so much on room costs?"  Because that's pretty much your major cost.  You can eat crap from grocery stores deli counters or food stands to decrease your expenses.  The room cost is the big one though.

Varna, Bulgaria.  It's looking like the room cost will probably be between $12-16 per night.  Unless I'm really taken with the town or find something cheaper when I'm there, I won't be there for long.

Thessaloniki, Greece.  Clench yer butt cheeks folks.  I've heard a lot about their recession and down turn in the economy.  Apparently, this news hasn't reached the hotel or hostel industry.  For an eight bed dorm it's about $20 per night.  Clearly, I will only be there for a couple days.  Not sure if I want to go to other places within Greece or not.  More research on Greece will be required but the total time there will probably be a week or two.

Ohrid, Macedonia.  I'm calling it that because the 'former Yugoslav etc' is hard to pronounce.  It gets very reasonable quick but of the cities close to where I'm contemplating going, only in Ohrid.  About $16 for a private apartment or room.  Unfortunately, it's within the 'schendigan agreement' lands so that limits the time within the country were I to find a 'good deal' on rent.

Next up to study, Albania.

What my goal is would be to have a cheap country I can hang out in for a few months to let my funds regenerate.  Was thinking about Egypt but they are shooting tourists there AND one of the future potential presidents of the country has failed to answer me on Facebook so I'm thinking wait till it calms down.  If I can't find a good country to sit and regenerate money, my backup plan is to get back to SE Asia so I can undergo the wonderful rioting within Thailand.  So happy there, I'm sure.

My travel mentor suggested I head straight over to Macedonia then Albania saving Greece with it's three month in three out till later.  This may be a very good idea.  It also puts me close to Turkey.  If I'm feeling too poor by the end of this, I can flee back to SE Asia for six hundred dollars or less.



WORDS FROM A DIFFERENT DIMENSION

New word of the day:

Cockbarrow.

In a world in which some sort of cheap and easy way existed for men to enlarge their own penis, this would be the wheel barrow men would push their penis around in.

News story:

May White, 22, was accused of killing seven men by whistling at them.  The stunning blond would find someone pushing a cockbarrow and whistle at him.  The man would get an erection, the cockbarrow would explode and his body would be instantly drained of all blood.  When asked why she had done it, Ms. White angrily responded "They were all such dicks!"



ROAD WARRIOR PICS

Courtesy of Evil Cat

Master blaster!

Mel is not happy with me.

At least I have a helmet!



BJ ALLEY (A story from Logan's distant past)

Giving you fair warning.  I even consider this next post offensive.  If you feel you have the capacity to be offended, are religious in any way or Korean you might consider just skipping to the next section.

Note that the names (aside from Bill whose actual name I couldn't remember) are real.  However there are so many people with the same names or the actual people are dead I figure it doesn't matter.

I'm calling this story 'Violations' because several things were violated.  Freedom, religion and even the principles of good story telling.  Many asides and little jaunts will be made.


The setting was Korea of the late 1980's.   Korea was a very different country then.  The first sight you had landing at the airport was huts sprouting television antennas.  The people were poor, the prices were cheap, hookers were either $10 for a quick in and out or $20 if you wanted to spend the night at their place.  And in to this den of iniquity was dropped a young Logan with money to burn and the self control of Charley Sheen.  I would like to note that Korea has changed massively in the last few decades.   Hell, even their internet is about four times faster.


Cast of characters

Sergeant George S Nelson.  One of his most awe inspiring features is that he spoke just like Elmer Fudd.  I'm not joking and neither was he.  He worked in S2 (intelligence) section and was my bosses boss.  By some strange twist of military logic, he was also in charge of the military police (MP) on the base.  I think he wanted to take me under his wing and mentor me but at the young age of eighteen, the voices in my head were louder than his and I figured I knew everything about everything.  He would often take me downtown to investigate the various sleazy bars to make sure they weren't in violation of any codes.  He never told me what the codes were but his fast paced walk from bar to bar to check in on things had two different interesting side effects for me.  The MP's at the locked gates figured I must be a young officer to be hanging out with such a senior (E-7) sergeant.  They would salute me, I'd salute back and was careful to never wear my uniform off base.  Sgt Nelson never bothered to correct  their mistake and tell them I was just a private.  As a bonus, every bar we inspected gave me a free drink.  After a few bars, I eventually became too drunk to continue the inspection and the sergeant would leave me to wallow in the whore pits.  How I miss the whore pits.


Hubbard.  He was a strange, perverted man.  The story which most speaks to his character was when we had a new lieutenant show up at the base.  "Take me to my driver, Horsford!"  Yessir, I replied.  We walked out toward the vehicle Hubbard sat in.  I was alarmed and the officer angry when we saw the look on Hubbard's face.  It appeared he was getting a blow job in the vehicle.  The windshield wipers slowly went back and forth.  As Hubbard thrashed around more and more, the wipers sped up.  Eventually, he started to convulse and the sprayers went off.  During Hubbard and the trucks' orgasm, we discovered nobody else was in the vehicle and Hubbard had both hands on the steering wheel.  As the officer stared in horror I simply gestured toward the vehicle and said "Your driver sir!", spun on my heel and left.


'Bill'.  I don't remember this guys actual name.  What I do remember is his fanaticism.   Not sure which flavor of Christianity he subscribed to but he loved talking about how he didn't drink, smoke or fuck - like it was a good thing.  It saddens me that in today's 'anti-bullying', politically correct era these sorts of people who preach their religion non-stop can't get punched in the face.

One night, Hubbard decided he'd had enough of Bill's religious rantings.


As the MP's sat around the locked gate, they saw eight people head toward them.  One, a young man they believed to be a young officer walked a bit ahead of the group of people who were all holding on to a wildly struggling spreadeagled man.  They couldn't understand the muffled grunting and pleas as the man had his mouth well duct taped.  The officer gestured to the gate as he approached it.  They opened it and the entire company passed out into the town.

Once we got Bill off base and told him that if he attempted to escape we'd beat him to death and stash the body he calmed down.  He must have told himself he'd just have to ride this one out then he could put us all on report later.

Fair enough.

We took him to a bar and ordered 燒酒.  He didn't know what that was either.  It was soju.  For those who don't know, this is strong (40-80 proof) alcohol.  The taste is vile to anyone not from Korea.  Perhaps even to some Koreans.  It is so bad that soldiers often had Kool-Aid powder mixed in just so they can choke it down.  We ordered a more expensive one that had Codeine (an opiate based pain killer) added just to give it an extra kick.

We told Bill to drink his or we'd give him a beating.

"This Kool-Aid tastes like shit!" extremely sheltered Bill exclaimed.

Hubbard slammed down his hand on the table and looked around wildly.  He hissed "Don't let the Koreans hear you say that!  If they think you don't like the drink they'll slit all our throats!"

Bill believed him and downed his.  And another.

With strong alcohol slamming into his virgin system along with the codeine, he was now docile.

The rest of the group began wandering off.

Hubbard eyed me across the table.  "We should take him to BJ alley."

Bill had no clue what that meant.  I happily nodded and we hoisted Bill up and took him there.  My memory does not recollect how many more bars we stopped by on the way there.

Eventually, we made it to the notorious 'blow job alley'.  Bill was leaning drunkenly against the wall.  Sadly, it was the same wall I was urinating on.  Too close to him.  Much too close to him.

Hubbard was deep in negotiations with the mistress of the whores, the 'momma-san'.

The actual momma-san was more hideous than this.  She was missing tufts of hair.  One eye was droopy and pussing.  She had the stumps of five or six blackened teeth remaining in her crooked mouth.  Her body looked like  a worn out punching bag.

Hubbard:  "How much, momma-san?"
Momma-san:  "Ten dollar, any girl you want."
Hubbard:  "I want you, momma-san!"

Momma-san made a squack of surprise.  I faced back to the wall to make sure the right amount of urine was going onto Bill and to make sure none of that horror would become lodged in my brain.

As I finished up, a young woman came and opened up Bill's fly and popped his cock into her mouth.

"Uh!  What's going on?" shrieked Bill.

"Relax," I responded.  "They're real friendly 'round here."


Bill was downtown nearly every weekend after that.  Like many sheltered people who get a taste of the 'bad life' he went completely off the rails.  Drinking, smoking, drugs, whores.

I began to suspect I might be a bad influence.

For religious types reading this, fear not.  I got a thank you card from Satan.

DINNER

Folks in Odessa have often told me that restaurant food sucked.  I was anxious to try a home cooked meal to compare.  Fortunately, a couple friends of mine were very gracious and had me over to their home to try an actual Ukrainian meal.

These were the friends

Roxanne and Sergey, caught in what they may consider to be not their best photo.  Really nice people and both speak English which is good as I still haven't learned Russian.

And this is what we ate:

Meat with some sort of seasoning on it then fried

Vegetables with a zesty tasting sauce, served at room temperature.  I didn't think I'd like it but ended up eating all of it.

And potatoes with 'pig fat' (British 'crackling', American 'pork rind') and a bit of onion on top.

The meal was very good.  After dining with them, I had to change my opinion on Ukrainian food.  It's good unless you are dining at a restaurant.

Thanks again to my hosts!



VIDEO

Odessa Interiors

UKRAINIAN POLITICS

UKRAINIAN POLITICS

For those who want a lot more information than Logan gives, I've gotten some information from my travel mentor who I have dubbed 'Evil Cat' in order to respect his privacy on line.

This is a copy/paste of some things he'd said on Facebook concerning various facets of 'what's going on here and what led up to it'.  Know that this is the kind of guy that major newspapers and such have requested interviews of but hey - he doesn't give interviews.  In short, he's probably one of the more qualified (through university, personal research and living there) and erudite people I've heard discuss these things.

David Holt:  Here's something you don't always see. Soldiers patrolling without any markings of nationality. These guys were photographed at Simferopol in Crimea securing the airport. The BBC reported that they might be pro-Russian militia.


Logan Horsford:  That's quite possible. I've heard rumor that the Crimea wants to form their own 'break away state' or some such. Lets ask Murlka Kisha (who is much better informed on these things than I) who they are. Are they goons for hire? Ukrainian military that couldn't afford uniform patches? Thugs?


David Holt:  The rhetoric from Moscow is similar to what was heard before the invasion of Georgia in 2008. The major difference now is that Ukraine knows that Russia is willing to invade, because of the example in Georgia.


Evil Cat:  Russia has no such pretext in Crimea...lack of political representation (as claimed by ethnic Russian speakers in Crimea) is a far cry from being bombarded by artillery and the ethnic cleansing instituted by the Georgians in 2008...Politically so far the Crimean parliament has been dissolved and referendum is slated for May 25 (Same date as Presidential elections) to vote for increased autonomy for what is already the Crimean Autonomous region. The vote was carried by the ProEU-Maidan supporters, the ethnic Tatars of Crimea, AND the moderate ethnic Russian bloc.

It is the vocal yet small Russian Nationalists who were defeated on a call for separatism. However it is a marriage of convenience on the referendum vote..The Tatars are not such supporters of the Maidan/EU bloc, they are looking for increased autonomy for themselves. Maidan/EU supporters are willing to give the Tatars more autonomy if it keeps Ukraine whole...The moderate Russian bloc know that economically the EU is the better bet but don't wish the Ukrainianization that they fear will follow if the Nationalists win the presidency and parliament...so they are willing to wait to see at least see what the outcome of the elections and referendum will be

There is only a small minority of ethnic Russians who wish to return Crimea to Russian rule...in the 3 years I was in Sevastopol I never met anyone whole supported Russian Rule... Independence and pro Russian policies? Yes but not rule. People basically want to keep the Russian Naval Base (40% of the economy) and keep the Russian 'nature' and history of the city.The 60% ethnic Russians in Crimea do not want to be dictated to by Nationalists in Kiev.

As for these armed sentries at the airport they are either Ethnic Russians formed into a self defense militia...or possibly marines from the Russian Naval Base on emergency deployment and requested by the Pro Russian Mayor of Sevastopol....In Simferopol (the administrative capital of Crimea) they will be either self defense units or anti-Nationalist soldiers from the Ukrainian Army...remember centralised control of the armed forces is in force in Ukraine but perhaps rather sketchy in the Autonomous region of Crimea.

Up until 2 years ago there was no civilian airport in Sevastopol...they renovated a soviet era airbase...the fear will be that Kiev will send military units by air to suppress Sevastopol thus the pro Russians are making a show of securing the airport....its the only way into Sevastopol quickly from Kiev


David Holt:  Thank you for that excellent detailed information.

I don't believe that the Russians have anywhere near the pretext for invasion that they had in Georgia in 2008. It would be like comparing apples to oranges.

Russia is, however, taking many of the same steps they took prior to that invasion. They've offered dual Russian citizenship to ethnic Russians in Ukraine ("protection" of whom can act as a pretext for invasion), and they've declared large scale military exercises in Russia's Western and Central military districts.

The message that invasion is at hand is very clear. Hopefully the threat of invasion is the only objective. A display of power, rather than the prelude to an exercise of power.

Russia invaded Georgia in 2008, directly across the Black Sea from Ukraine and under alarmingly similar circumstances. They tore the place up, destroyed Georgia's military infrastructure, and generally shat all over the place.

What they do not have in Ukraine that they did have in Georgia was a clear pretext for invasion. Russia has a reason to invade Ukraine, but lacks a justifiable pretext. At the moment.


Evil Cat:  The main motivation behind the Georgian conflict was the Russian desire halt Georgia's move towards NATO under Saakashvili. Russia only 'invaded' the Ethnic Russian parts of Georgia that were already autonomous regions within Georgia and were former autonomous Republics within the USSR...its not like they invaded the core Georgian SSR. ...and Logan if you don't recall anytime since WW2 maybe you missed Hungary in 56, Prague in 68, and Afghanistan in 79...these invasions were based on an 'invitation' by fraternal communist parties for military assistance and intervention.

The current Russian exercises are for the domestic Russian audience who have been whipped into a anti fascist frenzy with by the bias media in Russia...as if Russia is ready to go!...If the referendum somehow managed to produce an separate independent Crimea then that new government would 'invite' Russia to provide security...not technically an invasion then..It would be difficult for Ukraine to dislodge the Russians since Crimea (under a democratic mandate) would have extended an invitation to Russia...The rest of the world probably would not recognise Crimean independence but Ukraine could not stop it without a war...that they would lose and cannot afford.


I'd then asked Evil Cat what would happen next.  He said it's anybody's guess but believes we won't find out until May when they have elections and such.

According to Dave Holt, I am everywhere.  Thanks for putting me in this now very awkward picture, David.

And I'm apparently the 'man on the ground' here.

Poor Bogart looks like "Even after I have been dead for close to sixty years I'm still forced to be in a picture with Logan?  And he's upstaging me?"



LOGAN'S VIEW

I don't know much about politics but have begun to suspect that Ukraine's position may have become untenable.  They are wanting to get Russia out while 'maintaining good neighbor relations' with Russia.  They want to be friendly with the EU while not joining.

What a difference one month makes!


Ukraine for Ukrainians seems to be what may people want here.

But if you don't have a strong military and are wedged between two giants I'm not sure if that is realistic.

It may come down to 'pick one and commit'.

But the Ukrainians are so internally divided if a vote was held tomorrow there may be a three way split.

And the crappy leaders they have put into power and will put into power don't seem to be helping matters.

It will be quite awhile before this stuff is resolved.  I will make a prediction that the election will not suddenly make everything better.  In fact, I predict that there will be a kick off of some sort of new trouble as two thirds of the country won't be happy with the vote.

Well, shit.  Here comes Russia!



FUCK CNN

While I was eating, a Russian guy was watching CNN on his computer.

Logan: "You realize it is the worst of all American news?"
Guy: "It is my favorite. They do great disinformation."

On CNN, they were making various statements that I will now translate:

"The situation is complicated."
Translation: CNN doesn't understand the situation.

"The president should have made a more bold statement."
Translation: We don't know what he should have said but this one was barely news worthy.

"...in the Baltic Sea..."
Translation: We don't know geography. Black Sea, Baltic Sea - it's all the same, right? Hell some of our viewers can't even find Canada on a map - that is so far away they're not going to know any better.

IMO if you watch or listen to CNN, you deserve it.

Here is some new ramblings that didn't make it on to Facebook for those who think the blog has fast become a recap of the stuff I've previously released on Facebook.  Which may be.

Revolutions last a long time.  Months or even years.  If one can stay in the press for a whole month, they're doing pretty well.  I believe a lot of press agencies love nothing better than to help stir up trouble - for as long as it does their circulation good then they piss off to what is new and interesting.  This leaves the people like those from 'Arab Spring' to try to sort out the pieces.

Unethical.

ENDORSEMENTS

From Kevin DeJaynes:  Logan you are the type of guy who would invite someone over for a fun night of drinking after shave and playing pin the tail on the "almost fresh" corpse of a dead hooker. When the building catches on fire after an unfortunate accident involving the last bottle of aftershave, a prison shank and a flame thrower made from a super soaker squirt gun, a gallon of jet fuel and a butane torch you would get caught red handed by agents of the local law enforcement. You would then be taken for questioning and after three days of interrogation you would be released because 9 on the people who questioned you committed suicide via auto erotic asphyxiation. Soon afterwards you would publish an article on your blog stating how much 7 bottles of aftershave cost. Its a special kind of insane my friend, a special kind.


Another one from Kevin DeJaynes:

Logan Horsford is a world traveler, not because of some noble sense of adventure, not because he has a need to enrich himself by experiencing other cultures and not because he was gifted with an endearing wanderlust. No Logan travels the world because he feels the need expose all of civilization to his depraved and immoral outlook on life. Be warned Earth, something wicked this way comes and its name is Logan.


If you would like to write something like this, send it to my Facebook or put it in the comments on the blog.  If I like it, I'll stick it in the blog and give you credit.



FOR SOME GOOD READING

Check out THIS article.



MEME

At last, a meme which has been saying what I've been trying to tell people for years:

It's good advice.