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Saturday, April 12, 2014

ROBOT SEX

ARTICLE FROM THE FUTURE - DWINDLING POPULATION

I was reading an article from the future about what is starting to kill humanity off.  Sadly, I didn't get a good look at the date on the news piece but had to quickly scan it to get the gist.

It showed Ted, a pretty normal looking guy coming home after a long rough day at work.  As he walked in, a pretty young lady entered the living room.

"Ted, you're home!  And just in time to - I just finished with the laundry!  It's still warm from the dryer!  Lets make love on it!"

A couple more delighted squeals from other young women who wished to aid with this noble endeavor as a smiling Ted dropped his briefcase and hurried after the young lady.

Hyper realistic sex toys have met robotics.


I think the company that makes them was called - will be called Sextel.  Is this the adult version of Mattel?  Sex + Intel?  I don't know.  Best to get stock in both Mattel and Intel I suppose.

From the commercial and news story - they seem combined in the future - these are selling like hotcakes.

705% more sex
87% less drama
67% less bitching

In law robots sold separately.  Apparently, not popular models.  They do sell some, usually bought as gifts by angry live ex-girlfriends.

The writer of the article was concerned because people weren't having babies any more and women were getting more ignored.

Will this be in the distant future or will I receive one for a birthday?  Stay tuned!



URBAN FANTASY

I've been reading a lot of the 'Urban Fantasy' genre.  Usually, books written by women are much different than those written by men.  Here are some examples of how:

a) Women always use knives.  Not sure what the fascination with knives is all about.  Even when a sword would be more efficient - or brass knuckles - no.  Despite the creativity often shown in the setting, for some reason women prefer knives.

b)  Ignore any book with a cover which looks like it is actually a 'romance' book.  It is.

c)  Women writers seem to love to populate their worlds exclusively with good looking men.  Even the evil ones.  The protagonist seems to be inwardly extremely horny but outwardly restrained.  Sadly, we have to constantly hear about how horny they are.

d)  Even when the female protagonist should be acting on a clear course of action, they are constantly inwardly distracted about the most inconsequential things.   "I must stop this evil ritual to save the world!  Did I leave the oven on?  Oh Dustan is so hot!"  While I personally have no experience in how women think it makes the protagonist sound necrotic and flighty.  If women do actually think like this, it would go a long way toward explaining why I am a bachelor.

e)  If there is a vampire in the book, chances are that you have been fooled and the book is actually a 'romance novel' dressed up as 'urban fantasy'.

This one is for both male and female writers - the hero or heroine will either figure out the good solution by luck or somehow intuitively stumble across it at the last possible minute as the author attempts to keep readers turning the pages.



MOVIE TALK

What the hell is up with Hollywood?

Just got done watching yet another remake of 47 Ronin.  They have to put the year after these so you know which one you are talking about!  47 Ronin (2013).

You might have gotten it confused with the 1941 version.  Or the 1958 version.  Possibly the 1962 version.  But Logan, these are all old movie!  They haven't done anything recently, have they?

Discounting the 1994 version and the 1993 and 1995 TV episodes, absolutely not.

Well, OK.  Surely there can be nothing wrong with a small budget tastefully done film though?

Perhaps, but in the most recent (2013 version) they wasted an awe inspiring $175,000,000.

Did you know that was very close to what it cost to make part one of the Hobbit?

Either the executives are so old they remember with great fondness one or more of the original much lower budget ones and are thinking 'this can make me money' or they are have window lickers with no common sense working at Universal.

Even Logan who is in no way connected with the movie industry could have been asked:

"Hey, we have 180,000,000 dollars we want to toss at a movie.  Would the Hobbit (part 1 of 3) be a good choice?"  Sure.  "Would another remake of 47 Ronin be a good choice?"  Nobody gives a fuck about 47 Ronin aside from possibly some people actually descended from them who live in Japan.  Nobody else.

"But Logan, we're going to have Japanese fantasy monsters and mythology intertwined in this movie!"  See above about nobody giving a fuck.  I've seen them and thought "Sorry - these may be causing death and devastation but they look pretty sissy to me.  The scariest part of meeting one would be the shame of being killed by something like that."

Looking at the gross the movie made bears this out - $38,000,000 and change.  Can Universal suck up a $140,000,000 loss?

Sure hope they don't want a 'bailout' - the US Government is the kind of place that just might give them one.



UKRAINE AND THE EVIL CAT

Evil Cat would have made the kind of university teacher that people remembered throughout their lifetime.  Maybe with fondness, maybe not.  But memorable.  Universities have lost out by not having him on their staff.  However, the stereotypical retiring academician would probably freak out having this guy around.

One of his great strengths is that he can explain complicated shit easy enough that Logan can understand it.  As those who know Logan will say, Logan is a simple creature.

I'd asked him why countries like Poland were able to get their shit together when it appears that countries like Ukraine will never (ever) be able to do so.  "They're all Poles."  Here in Ukraine, 30% (or so) of the population is ethnic Russian.  This is why they have a lot of bad shit happen.

For example, they can't agree on one language for the country.
Some people still want to go back to being Russian - but they don't want to move.

But just as interesting is the fact they have so little interest in just getting along with each other in a civilized society.  They regularly do stupid stuff like blocking in each others cars, drive like idiots, steal light bulbs out of the hallways of their own buildings.

Heck, even their elected officials in parliament like to have a good ole fistfight from time to time.  Think about that.  How often do other governments have a brawl between their elected officials?

I'm thinking the country won't change for the betterment of the citizens.  The citizens won't change for the betterment of themselves.

This doesn't really distress me - I'm just a visitor.  The difference between this country and others is interesting.  Finding interesting stuff is why I travel.

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PICTURES

{{2011}} London, GB | Rail N Sail | Amsterdam, Netherlands | Prague, Czech Republic | Budapest, Hungary | Sarajevo, Bosnia | Romania | Chisinau, Moldova | Ukraine: Odessa - Sevastopol | Crossed Black Sea by ship | Georgia: Batumi - Tbilisi - Telavi - Sighnaghi - Chabukiani | Turkey: Kars - Lost City of Ani - Goreme - Istanbul | Jordan: Amman - Wadi Rum | Israel | Egypt: Neweiba - Luxor - Karnak - Cairo | Thailand: Bangkok - Pattaya - Chaing Mai - Chaing Rei | Laos: Luang Prabang - Pakse | Cambodia: Phnom Penh | Vietnam: Vung Tau - Saigon aka Ho Chi Minh City

{{2012}} Cambodia: Kampot - Sihanoukville - Siem Reap - Angkor Wat | Thailand: Bangkok | India: Rishikesh - Ajmer - Pushkar - Bundi - Udaipur - Jodhpur - Jasalmer - Bikaner - Jaipur - Agra - Varanasi | Nepal: Kathmandu - Chitwan - Pokhara - Bhaktapur - (Rafting) - Dharan | India: Darjeeling - Calcutta Panaji | Thailand: Bangkok - again - Krabi Town | Malaysia, Malaka | Indonesia: Dumas - Bukittinggi - Kuta - Ubud - 'Full Throttle' - Gili Islands - Senggigi | Cambodia: Siem Reap | Thailand: Trat | Turkey: Istanbul | Georgia: Tbilisi

{{2013}} Latvia: Riga | Germany: Berlin | Spain: Malaga - Grenada | Morocco: Marrakech - Essauira - Casablanca - Chefchawen - Fes | Germany: Frankfurt | Logan's Home Invasion USA: Virginia - Michigan - Indiana - Illinois - Illinois - Colorado | Guatemala: Antigua - San Pedro | Honduras: Copan Ruinas - Utila | Nicaragua: Granada | Colombia: Cartagena | Ecuador: Otavalo - Quito - Banos - Samari (a spa outside of Banos) - Puyo - Mera

{{2014}} Peru: Lima - Nasca - Cusco | Dominican Republic | Ukraine: Odessa | Bulgaria: Varna - Plovdiv | Macedonia: Skopje - Bitola - Ohrid - Struga | Albania: Berat - Sarande | Greece: Athens | Italy: Naples - Pompeii - Salerno | Tunisia: Hammamet 1

{{2015}} Hammamet 2 | South Africa: Johnnesburg | Thailand: Hua Hin - Hat Yai | Malaysia: Georgetown | Thailand: Krabi Town | Indonesia:
Sabang Island | Bulgaria: Plovdiv | Romania: Ploiesti - Targu Mures | Poland: Warsaw | Czech Republic: Prague | Germany: Munich | Netherlands: Groningen | England: Slough | Thailand: Ayutthaya - Khon Kaen - Vang Vieng | Cambodia: Siem Reap

{{2016}} Thailand: Kanchanaburi - Chumphon | Malaysia: Ipoh - Kuala Lumpur - Kuching - Miri | Ukraine: Kiev | Romania: Targu Mures - Barsov | Morocco: Tetouan | Portugal: Faro

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