CAPPADOCIA HUNTER

TURKISH BUS RIDE

The big Turkish buses are pretty state of art. They have some climate control for everyone. There are also TV's to keep everyone from visiting with each other and forming friendships. Note that everything is dubbed (often badly) into Turkish.

While I was on the bus, I was hoping that the connections and such would be better once I reached western Turkey. In fact, they became a bit worse as I am now in competion with lots and lots of tourists.

When you're at a bus stop, it is important to pay close attention to the staff of the bus. There isn't a lot of notice when they are ready to take off. Don't let the bus leave without you.

At the bus stop, they had a choice between a grab food fast from a kabob dealer for 5 TRY or you could spend 15 TRY for one main and a side of rice from a desultory caffiteria. I noticed nobody ate at the caffiteria. I wonder if the other restaurant owners want to burn down that guys shop.

The buses are a pretty smooth ride, though being in the bus seat for so many hours made my back feel like it was on fire. If someone had a film of me in the seat and played it in fast forward, it might look like the torture scene from the Princess Bride. It might have been Niechie who said 'That which does not kill us makes us stronger'. If it were true, I'd be remarkably tough. I'm not. I suspect Niechie was talking about somthing else - or more likely - talking out of his ass.

Eventually, I arrived in a different town. I got reassured by three different people I was indeed in Kayseri. I alwayys check with several people as the language barrier and a healthy dose of stupidity can often get in the way of me knowing things. Whenever I am trying to get information - be it directions, where I am, anything I always interview several people who are not within sight of each other until I get a consensus of at least three.

As I was writing this, I was listening to the five AM call to prayer. I am so happy I am aegnostic. At least there is a chance of sleep.

I had to wait two hours for my connecting bus to Goreme.

Cut to...

What has taken you seconds to read for me has been a troubled and oft interrupted sleep. Visions of the past and perhaps the future are under laid with the strange fluting music of the spheres. Alderaan's not far away.

I get a bit strange when sleep deprived.

I kept a close eye out for Goreme as it was not the last stop on the route but I need not have bothered. The giant stone penis shaped rocks were a big tip off.



ARRIVAL IN GOREME

The first thing I thought when I arrived in Goreme was 'holy fuck, I've wandered into a rocky version of Disney Land'. Talk about masses of tourists, this place is as rotten with them as many of the larger cities in western Europe. The noise of rolling luggage across cobblestones torments my soul.

I wandered over to the tourist information office (conveniently located) and inquired after 'Star Cave'. They called and told me that I'd be picked up. I thought that was nice but was a bit surprised when I ended up 'riding bitch' on a scooter.

The guy who is working the desk is named Ramazon. His happiness with me ebbs and wanes depending on if he believes money is forthcoming. The room is 20 TRY (rather than the 15 TRY on 'wiki-travel', hence I updated it and added other...notes...) and includes a breakfast the which could be excelled only by stale cereal and old milk. Or some mysterious piece of bread that I can buy at a store along with a box of fake juice.

The laundry service is decent though it is the most I've ever paid to have my clothing washed at 15 TRY. It needed it. Badly.

In addition there is a sign up asking people to not bring in alcoholic beverages as they sell them here. In their defense, I did purchase a rather nice bottle of wine I really enjoyed.

As far as the ambiance here it is as Adam said - pretty nifty and extravagant. Not bad for a 20 TRY bed. It isn't very clean however and without the Aussie who owns the place, the other half of the hostel equation is missing as well.

Food is a bit expensive here in 'tourist land' and the hostel has no kitchen I may use. That's OK. I'd rather burn to a different country where buying prepared food is cheap rather than eat anything I've cooked.

As I'd seen several scooters around, I asked Ramazan how much it cost to rent them. He responded that it is 'not my job'. This immediately put the sleep deprived, filthy Logan to a 'well disposed' mood toward him. Then, he wanted to tell me about all of the different tours and such he could get me on. I know he gets a referral cut from this. Attempting to put his hand into Logan's pocket made Logan positively friendly toward him.

When I was working in the hostel and people showed up, one of my first questions for them was "What do you need right now?" Some of them were interested in going to do stuff - others in nothing more than stretching their legs with a nice walk and some in a shower and sleep. I tried not to assume I knew what they wanted.

I walked around a bit after dropping my pack (and chaining it to the bed) and discovered a fancy coffee shop you could buy espressos and such for 4 TRY. I explored still further and found a place where I could buy Turkish coffee for 1.25 TRY.

Looking around, this place reminds me a lot of the stories I've heard about Venice where the tourists wildly outnumber the locals. If tourism stopped and everyone knew it would never again be back, this town would shrink from 5000 residents to 500.

On the second day, I zoomed around on an ATV. I'm not sure if it was pretending to be the late, great Crocodile Hunter Cappadocia or getting to ride the ATV I enjoyed more. That was the best time I had here. If you are going to do it, bring some goggles (they have none) as the dust is really bad - worse if you are in a group. They even hose you down with pressurized air afterward to get rid of some of the dust from your clothing. If you have no goggles, bring eye drops. You'll thank me later.

Also available are horses, camels, scooters and balloons. You will not want for lack of options - if you want to spend the cash.

Speaking of balloons, I think the reason I may end up dumping the cash to do another ATV ride over the same course instead of a balloon ride is that an ATV is an active thing - a balloon ride is a passive thing.



OTHER RANTINGS

While I was looking at my iteniery I was contemplating the next place. If it is $20 or more to hit each place I am interested in visiting, I'll have to get more choosy on what I'm really interested in seeing.

The Turkish flag is everywhere. People seem very proud of their country.

The Turkish alphabet is the first one in awhile that uses characters I'm use to. It is possible to make out what some of the stuff is saying.

Africa is the first country I wish I had an 'African style' fly whisk in. I can understand why many of the natives wear long sleeved shirts and long trousers.



LOOKING FORWARD

After about two days here, I've seen enough pointy rocks. Neat. No, I haven't gone into the 'watch the fat man try to squat in houses in the underground city isn't it funny how inflexible he is' places. I've seen them on TV and thought 'meh'. I am not really interested in cave churches either. Even the guy at the hostel asked "Why did you come to Cappadocia?" Fortunately, I didn't respond with "To be interrogated by assholes." I said "To relax." This irritated him because my relaxing does not put money in his pocket. After one night of sleep and two days in total, I am pretty much ready to move on. Since I can't due to the holiday and the chalked full buses until the fifth I may end up doing the ATV's again, even though the route would be exactly the same.

Other travelers have told me that Anatalya is just as touristic but not as nice as Goreme. This makes me so happy. I think I will try to pay by the night there. Yes, I hear Adam's voice in my head "Hey you stupid bastard, you're going to tourist places - what did you expect?" My answer: Perhaps a bit more subtlety with the hand out? Yes, I know - I'm in Turkey. I will either deal with it or move with alacrity.



TRAVELERS' TIPS

Don't be shy about showing your ticket to several employees at a bus station to make sure you get on the right bus.

The companies that sell tickets are many and varied. Some sell tickets for other places. Some are completely sold out of everything and will tell you that the bus is full. Others will somehow have a seat available. Check around. In America, this type of system would be referred to by the phrase "cluster fuck" but it seems to work here. Sort of. Even the official 'information booth' (marked 'information' in English though the inhabitants of it speak none) is pretty useless. Just walk around and talk to everyone. You'll eventually find the information you need.

Just after Ramadan, there is a festival (Ramazan Bayramı in Turkey) that lasts two to four days, depending on who you talk to. I'd suggest booking well ahead or just stay where you are and don't move till it is over if you are in any Muslim country. Transportation lines and hotels are overflowing. [Side note: As I am writing this, I am listening to a couple of Japanese girls whose whole travel plans have gotten totally fucked due to this holiday. Aren't you glad you read this blog?]

The single most important phrase to learn in any country is 'thank you'.

If you are with an incompetent guide and become lost, stop moving and wait for him to come find you.



TRAVELERS LORE

According to a cool guy I met from Vietnam named Van, Vietnam is twice as cheap as Turkey. Nice.



TURKISH CUSTOMS

They like to spread water upon the ground to 'make it cooler' and keep the dust down.



COSTS

Can of soda, 2 TRY at bus stop restaurant, 3 TRY in Cappadocia

Soe sort of chicken sandwich at bus stop, 5 TRY

Bottle of Cappadocian wine, 20 TRY

ATV - you must get a guide but it is included with the price. Totally worth it IMO, 60 TRY

Most other dorm living (including a place called the 'Flintstones' which bears no resemblance to the cartoon and that is a pity) has dorm beds for 25 TRY. I didn't ask if they included a shitty breakfast with that.

A half hour massage, 50 Euros. When the guy said Euros I tried not to burst out laughing. By his expression, I don't think I was controlling my facial muscles well enough. But I did try. So, for half an hour of massage, you can go on a two or three hour balloon ride that includes breakfast and possibly lunch. I'll leave you to think which is the better.



WANDERING AROUND GOREME

I was wandering around Goreme and accidentally wandered onto the death march known as 'Pigeon Valley'. It was a fairly arduous climb. Well, for me anyway. And I was totally unprepared for what it turned into - I wasn't carrying water, was wearing flip flops and carrying a sweater. Eventually, it became the 'in for a penny in for a pound' sort of thing that my stubborn streak likes to go up against. I'm glad in this case I did because I met a Vietnamese guy named Van who I got to chat with for quite some time. I also met a nice Dutch family (husband and wife with a baby in a backpack thing) and an old man who sold tea very close to the terminus of the trip. I addressed him as 'the smartest man alive'. Unfortunately, he did not have a backgammon board or I would have spent even more time there. It was a pretty good amount of walking that I didn't want to repeat again in any circumstances.



VIDEO

Stone Penis

Paco

Cappadocia Hunter

Holmes Needed

Meet the Horse

Tosspot Helmets

Location, location and...

Fresh TV

The Walls

TURKEY - THE ARRIVAL

CORRECTION

TRY is not the correct symbol for Turkish Lira. For some reason, it is TRY. Hence, I am TRYing to use TRY instead. If I accidentally use the wrong symbol, please TRY to deal with it.



TURKEY, THE ARRIVAL

Coming into eastern Turkey, I was struck by how brown everything is. The people are brown, the earth is brown, the hay that seems to be the only crop is brown as well. Well, at least the Turks don't have to pay for expensive tanning 'treatments'. Lucky. [Disclaimer: The land turned green once I left eastern Turkey. This does not mean the people did as well. Though that would have been interesting.]

Two thoughts struck me as we entered in to Turkey. First, it was like we were climbing up the inside of a big, brown bowl. The second was that whoever said something about the roads being better as soon as they entered Turkey from Georgia was full of shit. The buses were better, true, but the roads were still crap.

Eastern Turkey has a lot of wild and remote places as we wound our way through.

At one point, the bus made an unannounced stop. About half of the passengers leapt out. I didn't know what the hell was going on but the people didn't look alarmed or anything so I just sat and waited it out. After about two minutes everyone who had gotten out quickly resumed their seats and we were off again. It turns out there was a 'holy spring' there and they had anointed themselves at it. I couldn't help wondering if it was hose fed, like the one in Georgia.

On the bus, I met a Swiss girl named Mary Ann. To the question of if she had her Swiss Army Knife on her the answer was 'Of course!'. Reference my earlier blog entry on it.

Turns out that she had a place she wanted to try staying at named the Gungoren Hotel. I didn't really have any firm plans so we agreed to share a room. Prices there were 40 TRY for a single The double room started at 80 TRY but if you objected they quickly dropped to 70 TL. Through hard bargaining we managed to get them to 55 TRY. Everything in Turkey is negotiable.

It was a so so place. Not bad, not especially good. Mary Ann liked the breakfast. I thought it was some cold, nasty shit I didn't want to eat. I got breakfast at a grocery store. The laundry at this 'hotel' (I'll be nice and give it one or two stars) is an amazing 2 TRY for a single shirt. WTF. I had written that it might be Cappadocia before I got clean clothing. I had no idea I would be on the money with that. The English spoken by the staff was abysmally bad and got worse if they didn't want to understand you. Personally, I wouldn't recommend the hotel to anyone.

My initial plan had been to see Ani, then sleep in Kars then see Kars the next day then sleep again taking off the day after. After wandering around Kars a little bit (and remembering my earlier research) I decided their was nothing I wanted to see in Kars so I decided to cut my visit there short. This left Mary Ann in a bit of a lurch with the room but she is stubborn and decided to stay anyway.

To save money, she was initially talking about hitchhiking out to Ani and back but she decided to just spend the 35 TRY and go out with the group. She didn't believe three hours to see the ruins of Ani were enough. I figured the guide had taken out enough tourists over the last seven years he'd been doing it to know how long they usually took. The guide mollified her by saying they'd delay the bus back an extra half hour if need be.



TO THE LOST CITY OF ANI

The drive through Kars confirmed my earlier opinion of it and my complete disinterest in seeing any more of the city. The tour guide himself was very cool and let me bring my backpack. He said they'd drop me off at the bus station so I could get on to where I was wanting to go after Ani.

The highway to Ani was pretty deserted. I think getting there via hitchhiking would be pretty rough. Tourist buses were the only ones who were going there and the one we were in did not stop for hitchhikers. It is probably possible to hitchhike back with a tour company but if you paid to get out there, you've paid for a round trip already - might as well use it.

I did the walk through Ani, leaving the group far behind. It was pretty cool. I'm glad I chose to wear my disintegrating shoes rather than my flip flops for it. There was some light climbing involved and plenty of feet hazards.

Ani really didn't strike me emotionally at all - it was ruins. No really nifty carvings on anything. There was a couple of interesting ruins (see Ani photographs) and a very nice panorama shot of a river in a canyon. That was about it really worth mentioning. I am glad I went but wouldn't visit it again.

I made it through Ani in about an hour - the others, say two and a half hours. My goal wasn't to sprint through Ani but unless something has 'intrinsic interest', I simply don't care. In other words, if there is a pile of rubble that was until one hundred years ago the most significant building in this part of the world, I don't care. I'd rather see something interesting now. If I have to read about it to be impressed by it, I don't really care that much. I call this 'intrinsic coolness'. Ani had some but there was a lot of stuff that wasn't as well. Be advised that the amount of time you spend in travel from Kars to Ani will equal or exceed the amount of time you spend in Kars itself. It's worth seeing if you are close but I wouldn't make a detour to catch it. Again, I'm happy I went - perhaps because it was my first 'lost city'.

It was interesting. On the way to Ani, the other tourists in the bus were much more excited and talkative than on the way back. They looked bored and frustrated. I am thinking Ani may not have touched them in a special way.

Also, unless your kids can climb small rocky hills, I don't advise bringing them. I saw some people dragging in a stroller and I wondered how the fuck they would manage with that.

Through making videos and pictures, I managed to drain my camera. The border guards served me tea and cake while we hung out in the guard shack recharging it. We hung out in the 'no smoking' shack and exchanged cigarettes and smoked.

It seems that from an early age, people living near tourist areas work at making money off of the tourists. Kids ran out bottles of cold water for 1 TRY. I had brought my own. But it was interesting to see the capitalist system working so hard. In fact, on my travels through Turkey I have been mentally classifying people into one of two groups - those who are looking to make some money off of me and those who aren't. Both groups can contain nice people but knowing at the end of the day someone wondering how much money they can make off of you does color your dealings with them.

After everyone had been sitting in the bus and waiting for awhile, Mary Ann (the Swiss lady) showed up and said she was right - three hours and some was not enough for her to significantly plumb the depths of Ani. I gave her the traditional goodbye I had learned in Hungary of "See ya!" and we got underway back to Kars. She was an interesting person but our traveling styles were too different. I was happy to get out on my own quickly. Well, at least I saved a few Lira off of the first night's lodgings.

On the way back from Ani, we saw three hay carts parked on the highway. No people, no horses - just a hay cart. I thought 'My, what an extraordinarily dangerous and stupid place to leave a huge, over packed hay cart!'

The slick person who had hooked us up with the ride out to Ani is named "Celil Ersozoglu". I'm naming him as a good contact within Kars because he was personally standing there at the bus station when we pulled up. He made sure I had enough water, walked with me to get a cheep kabob and got me onto the bus. It was like clockwork. I'd recommend him as a personal guide if you can afford it. I don't imagine someone that good comes cheap.

Because I wanted to do all of my 'due diligence', I tried to check to see if it was possible to go straight to Cappadocia (Goreme). No, I was told it wasn't. So I purchased a 15 TRY ticket for Erzuru. From there it would be other transfers and such to get me to Kahta. After Ani, my desire to go to Nemrut Dagai had been much quenched but I figured if I couldn't get a ticket to Cappadocia and could to Kahta, what the hell, I'd go with the flow.

The road to Erzuru wound around and followed a river. Everything (except the people) got much greener.

At the Erzuru bus station I was introduced to the concept of 'free' translators. These eager young men (all men) would leap to helping you with your ticket. I believe that it does increase the price of the ticket but since I was tired and confused, I was OK with having my ticket price raised 5-10 TRY for some guy to sort through all of the crap at this chaotic bus station. I interviewed my 'tauter' Ferhat. He has worked at this job since he was 14-15 years old. A good day of hustling can get him about 25 TRY. He is currently going to university to study tourism. There are a lot of these guys with very rough English.

I consulted with the bus people on what would be needed to get to the Nemrut Dagi and it turned out to be five or six difficult waiting for new dolmuş every time. For hours. I asked myself "Just how bad do I want to see these giant heads?" The answer - not that goddamn much. I envy Adam and his ease of the truck.

So, I decided to make a break for Cappadocia. He detailed an easy route that took me to Kayseri. I asked how much it was to go to there and was told sixty lira.

I told Ferhat I needed to get some more money from an ATM. For some reason, they had no ATM's at the Erzuru bus station. I went to the one directed but the screen was in direct sunlight for god knows how many years, hence that didn't work either. The next one was a one kilometer round trip. Or further. But I got the money. By the time I got back, the bus I was going to leave on had split so I had to go to Ankora instead.

He quoted a price of sixty again till I yelled that is what he had quoted to go to the further away place of Kayseri. In the next breath dropped the price to fifty. Everything is negotiable. Every price has been inflated as a built in stupidity check. Try not to fail it.

So, I had him take me to where the bus was to show up. At the appointed time, it utterly failed to materialize. One of the other 'tauters' did instead. They seem to work as a team. He had two unhappy looking tourists with him. He informed me it was time to go on a taxi ride. I said 'Will it cost me anything'. I was told it wouldn't. So, we drove with an old taxi driver out into the middle of nowhere. And waited.

Rather than being killed for my meager loot, a bus showed up and we all got on.

Next time - the bus to Goreme!



GENERAL OPINIONS OF TURKEY

If you don't enjoy or at least tolerate bargaining/haggling, you won't like Turkey.

I've been classifying people I've met into two flavors. The people that are wanting money from me and those that aren't expecting it. Both can be nice but knowing someone is wanting to make a buck (lira) off of you does tend to color the relationship.



TRAVELER'S LORE

(From Mary Ann) She recommends buying a silk sleeping bag. It is a sleeping bag shaped piece of silk you can sleep inside of on those scary occasions when you don't want to touch the bed or the sheets. It packs down to the size and weight of a shirt. Seems like a good investment to me - I'll keep an eye open. Unless I forget about it. Again.



COSTS

Round trip to Ani (getting dropped off there, no tour) 35 TRY.
Entrance to Ani, 5 TRY.

Locals advise avoiding the water in Turkey.

Be advised that when you buy transportation (and possibly even a tour) the chances of you getting the suave, erudite person with you who sold you the tour are slim. You will probably get one of their flunkies who may or may not know anything and may or may not speak English. Verify this strongly in advance if you are basing the tour strictly on spending time with the person selling it.

Gas prices in Turkey, 4.40 TRY per liter. Stop yer bitching, America. After conversion, it's $9.55 per gallon here. And the taxis are still so much less.

Cheap kabob, 2.5 TRY. Super-sized kabob, 4 TRY.

Bottle of 'very nice' red Turkish wine, brewed in Cappadocia region, 20 TRY. (Note, this is the same price as Georgian wine. I like both but I am not a 'wine snob'. I did decide to try one purely for 'scientific research'.)

"Turkish night" - some restaurant offers this cultural experience of observing dancing as well as eating and drinking (alcohol) as much as you can hold - 75 TRY. Considered a 'good deal' in alcohol alone. It's a 'go get plastered' night. Eight to eleven or midnight depending on the guests. This sounds like an interesting thing I will probably try out.

.75 TRY to use a disgusting bathroom.



TURKISH CUSTOMS

Using scented alcohol to clean the hands and face is a common occurrence.

Some buses have a buzzer that goes off when a certain speed is passed. Most don't. Hope for one that doesn't have such a buzzer. You're going to have many close calls and near death experiences anyway. You might as well get there a little faster.

The driver of the bus enjoys certain privilages that the passengers and other people working on the bus do not. They may smoke when they wish, play music and so on. Other passengers may not. This is odd to me, but if it keeps him awake, great.

The price of everything - including bus tickets is negotiable.



PHILOSOPHY

I don't mind paying for stuff if I'm enjoying it - but if I'm thinking 'meh', I am happy to 'fast forward' to the next good bit.



VIDEOS

Ani first view

Ani smoking view

Goreme intro