PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE RACISM

In the last blog (read previous blog) I'd mentioned that many people in the USA had 'passive-aggressive racism'.

Here's a meme which illustrates that:

ANOTHER MEME

Thanks to David H for providing this one.

THIS IS TRUE.




DYSTOPIA RISING  (AKA DR)

My buddy Seth kindly arranged and paid for me to go experience Dystopia Rising.  This is a new LARP I'd never heard of before so I was curious to find out about it.  More so as it seems to be a fast growing game that has a lot of people excited.

Other people heard I was going and asked me to give them my opinions on it.

I took a lot of notes during the game for that purpose.

A couple of disclaimers:  Thus far, I've only gone to one chapter (Wisconsin).  Another visit to a different chapter is scheduled in a couple weeks.  Also, unlike in the NERO larp, I don't have a bunch of chapter owners who are friends I can get that behind the scenes point of view from.  So this is pretty much all from a new guy who was dropped in to it.

Also, since I've played a couple of decades of NERO, I will make tons of comparisons between this LARP and NERO as it is my only real basis for comparison.  So you're going to get a bunch of those.

Lastly, if you've never played a LARP, I'd suggest expanding your experiences and trying one out.



WELCOME TALK

Back in the old days, NERO use to do a 'welcome to the site and event' chat.  Due to poor planning, laziness, people arriving at various times or whatever I've not seen much of this in the last decade.

They did a welcome talk where in addition to the usual information I got to find out two interesting things.

1)  The first rule of DR is 'Don't be a dick'.  Good first rule.
2)  Second thing is that the only verboten topic in DR is sexual assault.  It doesn't exist period.  Fine - there is some pretty dark shit here (cannibalism, zombies, betrayal, etc) so this one thing is the 'too far' line.

And they have a 'safe space' for people who are overwhelmed at logistics.

Neat.  Fine.



NEWBIE ARMBANDS

One idea which had sounded great but due to poor execution (they forgot to bring them) completely fell flat was 'blue armbands'.   These would be passed out to newbies who would wear them for some amount of time.  Not sure if it was three months, three events or something else.  Till they were no longer complete newbies.

The stated purpose of these would be so that newbies could get help dealing with battle calls, the world, skills, etc.  Also (and much more interesting) so that experienced players would know they were newbies and make an effort to get them integrated into things.  Maybe give them simple missions so they could pick up a little coin or whatever.  Make them feel like part of the family a bit so they might come back and bring their friends.

A brilliant idea blown because nobody thought to bring armbands.  Given the importance of newbie retention (and those newbies bringing their friends) I find it quite astonishing they don't leave them in the vehicle or NPC camp stuff.



THE NEWBIE RUN

They had about ten newbies (which the experienced players called 'new fish' for reasons never explained to me who were asked to gather after the mildly disorganized (as all I've been to have been) player talk finally ground to a halt.

One of the people running things (was he the chapter owner?  I have no idea) talked to the newbies, offered to answer any questions and then told us he would walk us into town.

We were at the 'depot' (logistics) and would be headed into 'town'.  It was a long fucking way, especially for my fat ass.

Along the way were a couple very small groups of zombies which the experienced guy used to try to teach the newbies the basics of combat.

Eventually, we made it into town and were taken to a bar/food place known as the 'Lemonade Stand'.

The lady who ran it had a brilliant idea which again fell upon it's face.   Partially due to execution, partially to not getting buy in from the townspeople.

She told the newbies that if they grabbed a towns person and brought them to the Lemonade Stand that both the newbie and towns person would get a free drink.  Obviously, the intent was to have the newbie and towns person be able to chat - at least for however long it took for the drink to be drunk.  Maybe the newbie could ask questions, maybe the towns person could find out something about the newbie - who knows.

While all the other newbies milled around trying to work up the courage to ask a towns person for a drink (maybe having it the other way around might be nice - don't know) I grabbed a random towns person and asked him.  He agreed, got his drink, passed it off to someone else and wandered off.

"Well, he doesn't seem to give a fuck about me."  I thought and moved on.  With my free drink.  Damned fine lemonade.  Sweet, sweet lemonade.

Later that night, I decided to try to get some sleep.  Not a whole lot seemed to be going on and the town seemed to be mostly milling about or whatever.  At that point, the fuckery started.

After I went to bed in the 'hostel' (thirty or more mattresses laid out on the floor) lock picking window climbing in zombies made it inside three different times and were beating on my fellow sleepers.  Since my character literally had no combat skills, I just tried to get some sleep during the carnage.

I was doing alright until the violin started at eight AM in the goddamned morning.

So now I'm on four hours of sleep.   Meh.

Nobody else was screaming in rage or murdering the violinist so I just got up and went with the flow.  It turns out that someone (I forget who - sorry) was making really great biscuits and gravy for the camp.  This was great because there was no 'meal plan' at this event.  Lots of different people brought their own food.  You could buy food at the Lemonade Stand, but that cost in game money and newbies do not start with any in game money.

I still regret not getting a second helping of biscuits and gravy even though everyone was threatened with death if they did.  So good.  So good.



MY CHARACTER

Although Seth had encouraged me to read the rule book or even help build my own character, I decided after looking at their thick assed rule book (3cm?) 'oh hell no'.  Seth made my character who was a tinkerer.  My character had the ability to make basic shit and repair shit.

Also, he made my character a 'rover'.  This is pretty much a person who travels a lot.  Good fit.  The required costume for this 'strain' (like a race but not) is that they have to wear a lot of scarves.  Bandannas seemed close enough to me and since in real life I am kind of a rover, I own a bunch of these.  I knotted several together and made a loop I put over my head and one arm to mark me.

Because I was feeling super lazy and would only be going to two total sessions of this game before going back to Eurasia, I decided to just use the back story of my NERO character and have him on this world.  Since magic and all the fantasy realm stuff (aside from zombies) wasn't going on, he would figure he was having a weird hallucination or something.  Having Lumsie talk about insane stuff would be fine I reasoned because chances are great anyone living in the DR world should have heavy PTSD and quite a few different types of insanity.

For two events, it would work.

I  discovered a couple downsides of my character as I went through play.  First, for 'basic stuff' there was zero market.  The next tier up of goods was plentiful and cheap - nobody wanted basic.  Also, repairing a basic suit of armor means sitting around at a work bench tapping one thing on another for ten minutes.  Why nobody was using that time to say build real actual chain mail (or something useful) escapes me.

Also, extremely cheap people said that repairs should be done for free.  If people don't repair the armor of the fighters, it is argued, then the zombies will over run and kill everyone.  I responded that I needed money to buy food.  Whether I died from hunger or zombies didn't seem to be that huge of a distinction in my mind.  This did stop the tightwad and made him think a bit.  After that, I just told people 'will repair armor for food' and everyone seemed happy with that.

I didn't go hungry.

Note that my 'build shit' skill (not the official name) did get me one quest - which took all Saturday.  (See below, 'the quest for the doctor's bag').



ECONOMY NOTES

Although I was told it is changing, there seemed to be two types of people at the event - rich and poor.  I personally found two rich people.  Everyone else seemed to be (or said they were) dirt assed poor.  I sat down and spoke to one of the rich merchants to find out what the deal with the economy was.

In NERO, it is a 'murder economy'.  All treasure originally comes from killing monsters.  DR flips that on it's head.  Killing monsters is the drain on the treasure.  Treasure comes from farmers, brewers, scroungers (etc).

A note on scroungers.  Back in the old days of NERO, some times staff would go out into the woods and leave module cards or perhaps even treasure.  This eventually tapered off because it was extra work, some cards and such were never found - or acted on, etc.  Basically, thin staff and laziness.

In DR, they have an entire profession whose job it is to go out and find crap lying around.  They can take a certain amount/kind of stuff and must leave other stuff behind.  Staff does indeed leave stuff lying around for them to find.

Stuff in DR is priced in 'money'.  "This costs one money."  A couple people called it 'credits'.

All but the yellow cards are examples of various money.  Each is printed on a credit card looking/feeling/size hard plastic tab.   Hopefully, someone in management has been clever enough to make larger denominations but the only ones I've seen are ones, fives and tens.  The yellow cards are scrap which are almost always worth 'one money' each.

Food costs - a drink or a taco, 1 money.  Double stuffed taco, 2 money.  Nachos with lots of meat, 3 money.

At the low end, the economy is pretty simple:  1 money = 1 scrap = 2 herbs.  That's really all you need to know.  Of course if someone has bought up all the scrap or herbs, the price may alter.

Talking to a PC merchant, I found that mid level characters with the right skills, connections and the ability to be able to do things like pretend to farm a ten by ten section for hours of real time can make about ten money per hour.  This is OK but for clever folks they can make that in minutes with the right deals, travel and such.  If I lived in the USA and played this game a few times a month, I have no doubt I could get there.  But since I don't and won't...

One thing the wise merchant did say is that the only real limit for him was actual time...



DAYTIME AT LAST (SATURDAY)

During LARPs, Saturday generally goes one of two ways - either people are busy running modules or they are sitting around 'role playing with each other'.  In NERO, this generally means 'a shit event without much plot is going on'.

People seemed to be mostly sitting around talking to each other here but unlike NERO events having a decent time doing it.  Weird.  I admit I have no idea why.

I have been assured that there is plot going in.  Unlike NERO, I didn't see groups regularly (or even irregularly) wander off on adventures.  Certainly, there was no 'town adventure'.  (For the record, IMO 'town adventures' were almost always super lame and best avoided.)  I've been told that the plot build up is more subtle and such here.  People that use to play NERO and now play DR tell me that DR is more of a 'sustained investment' than NERO plot.


LOGAN'S QUEST FOR MONEY AND FOOD

I went back to the Lemonade Stand because there was food there.  I reasoned that where there is food, there may be some way for me to get food.  It seemed very unlikely that Seth and I would leave the camp to get food - there seemed to be nothing (other than a bar which if you live in a small town you probably need) there that served meals.

So I needed to get some food.

They had something like a job board there.  Small medallions with things printed on them.  One was 'sell ten newspapers'.  I forgot to ask how much this would pay or read the reverse side of the medallion which would have told me.

I was given ten newspapers and went around selling them for one money each to various PC's.  To help them to want to buy the paper, I would make up various outrageous headlines ("Pretty girl buys newspaper, read all about it!" type of thing.)

After selling them, I went back and received...one money.

Well, fuck this I thought.  I'd felt lucky to have sold off the previous ten newspapers and had no desire to spend another half hour or hour to try to sell ten more.  Fortunately, they also gave me a lemonade.  Probably because they saw the look on my face when I got paid.

I decided to try to use my character's abilities to get some money going so that I could buy lunch.  The biscuit and gravy I'd had earlier helped but hunger would come later so I had to hustle.  I began the quest for the Doctor's Bag.  (Play dramatic music).



THE QUEST FOR THE DOCTOR'S BAG

After asking around, I found that a guy who claimed to be the head of the tinker's guild was working at a workbench.  I went and asked him what needed doing.  He tried to recruit me to the tinker's guild.  I explained that I was a rover, not around for long and probably would never be back.  I failed to mention that unless he could actually provide work I saw no benefit at all to joining any guild.  He said that he did have some work but since he didn't have any glue, he didn't have anything for me.

I asked him how much he was paying for glue.  Five money.  After going around and talking to some other people I tried to get more money out of him but he was firm on five.  He eventually agreed to give me the five and I would get the glue for him using that money.  Fortunately, the 'rover' strain has a thing where they won't break their word if they shake on it.

One herb was needed to make glue.  No herb was initially available but eventually I managed to talk someone in to selling me two for one money - the standard rate.

To make glue, I needed a brewer.  Found a farmer who could do basic brewing - but he had no distillery.  So I had to find the brew thingee.  Found it but hey, it's not free to use.  So I had to rent the time as well as pay the farmer to brew it.  Ended up with two glue brewed for four money (including the cost of the herbs).

Now in order to get the cards that say 'glue', you have to take the brewer, the card for the distillery and the card for the herbs and walk your happy ass to the depot (aka 'logistics') which is a long way away through potentially zombie infested areas.

Super.  My one coin of profit had to go to tipping the person the farmer had an arrangement with to help guard us.

But eventually, I had two glue - one extra!

I went back to the head of the tinker's guild and presented him with the glue.  He seemed a bit surprised as he'd heard there was no herb left in town.  "Where is the project?" I asked lest he lose focus and wander off - a common adventurer problem.

Eventually, he got me a blue print for something called a 'doctor's bag' and all of the stuff to build it, including the glue I'd just gotten.  He told me he'd pay me five money to build it.

Considering how long it took just to get the glue made (including walking, finding people, haggling, etc - couple hours) I was less than thrilled but assured that was 'standard guild rate'.

Well, fine.  I hoped to then make a total of ten money off this deal - five for putting together the doctor's bag and hopefully selling the head of the tinker's guild the extra glue.  The glue wouldn't expire for an entire year and I'd been told that it was used in a wide variety of things so...

So I spent time making the 'doctor's bag'.  Normally this would have taken thirty (??) minutes but since I'd learned the skill 'educated', that knocked a flat ten minutes off.  After finishing up tapping a small bottle on a work bench with the blueprint (like a NERO formal scroll in many ways) and materials (components) in front of me I was done.

Not really.

No, I had to make the trip to the dreaded 'depot'.

Hey, fortunately, a large group of people were also headed that way.  I could tag along with them.  Super.

Seven people fucking died.

I managed to (very very slowly) escape and help raise the alarm.  Other people came and looted the bodies of their friends.  The massively powerful twenty damage swinging skull faced zombie who was leading three beings covered in blood had wandered off.  Note that my starting hit points (amount of damage I could take) started at eight so I can only presume that had I been hit, my family in distant lands would have also taken damage.

Fortunately, the lady who owned the table (and got the tag for the table - needed) still wanted to go to the depot.

{Because the players need to visit the depot all the time in DR, it use to be manned twenty four hours a day.  Because some of the people weren't sleeping at all, they knocked it down to a mere twenty hours per day to try to convince some of the staff to sleep.

NERO people, let that sink in.  They have enough staff to keep a desk manned by usually two people twenty hours per day.  Yeah.  On top of that, NPC'ing is mandatory.   There is no whining about needing to do it.  It is an expected part of the culture.  Being able to opt out is possible but the event costs twenty dollars (20USD) more and there are a limited number of 'opt out' slots.  Mind blowing.  Note I'm not saying that they are actually using all these NPC's well - I have no idea.  I didn't see many of them.  Perhaps they were creeping around in the woods.  Maybe there were modules going on of which I was completely unaware.  I'm not sure if the NPC shift is four hours or longer.  [For non-gamers I am sorry I could not find a good definition of 'module'.  Generally, it is an entire or part of an adventure in which a group of PC's go out and do stuff.]}

So, at long last, I got the doctor's bag card.  As is normal with pretty much every LARP I'd done in the last couple decades, after a big attack the roads are safe for an hour or so.  The three of us wandered back to town.

I turned in the blue print, doctor's bag card and extra components to the head of the tinkering guild.  He paid me.  I asked if he considered our deal complete.  He said he did.  We shook on it.  I then pulled out my extra glue and offered to sell it to him at the same price as the first.  This should be a good deal for him - especially given what a pain in the ass it was to get.

"I don't have any money left." he responded.

For folks that are new to LARPs, here's a hint.  If you present some newbie stuff to a 'guild master' and they claim not to be able to afford it run.  Don't work for them, don't join them and avoid them.  Either they really don't care about you the newbie enough to give you a minor amount of newbie treasure or they are not competent enough to have a decent pile of money sitting around.  Either way, you don't want to get in with them.

So I questioned people, found out who someone else was that was rich, told him my tale of woe and sold it to him.   I figured he was just being kind to a newbie.  But, since it was fresh, something that was widely needed and a huge pain in the ass to get made - I figure both of us did OK in that deal.

After various tips, spending money on food and such, I ended up with twelve money.  Talking to other players, they often claimed to either have made no money or under four on their first event.  No clue what is up with that.



SUNDAY

At NERO, you get up, clean up and take off.  Maybe to eat with others, maybe just go home.

At DR, the culture is completely different.

I woke up fairly early, took a shower and changed into my civilian clothing.  I'd have done well to have a second costume for my character.

Everyone played from about eight in the morning till noon.  Not kidding.

After that, there was stuff to go through.

You had forty-five minutes to clean up the area you slept in.  This had to be signed off by a marshal.

Then, on the character sheet, you had an area you were assigned to help clean.  You go there and do as asked until they are happy and have a marshal sign off on that as well.

Then, as you are getting ready to leave another marshal takes the sheet, checks both signatures and off you go.

I was asked what happens if someone has to leave early and was told they would be assigned some where to clean at that time.

In conclusion, no cleaning means you definitely get no build.  Not sure if there would be any other repercussions.   This is probably a better system than I've seen in NERO where it often ends up with the same few people doing the cleaning for the masses every time.



OTHER LITTLE NOTES

The rules book (which you can buy on site but not the t-shirts for some reason) is available at the site for sale.  Also, it is an 'in game' book they call the 'survivor's guide'.  It is a thick assed book.  There are also other books which are apparently stories and illustrate the world, etc.

If you go to this game, bring timers.  Really.  Everything takes real life time.  You might be at a bench for minutes or hours depending on what you are doing.  Or in a field.  Bring some stopwatches or egg timers.

The economic system in DR is amazing and has a LOT of potential.   They have a lot of stuff which is only available through certain chapters and many things which not only come from only one chapter but are seasonal.

Apparently, you get less XP when traveling.  I'm not sure of the exact amounts but after what I found out, the XP you gain from travel (assuming you are clever) matters 'fuck all'.  It's all about the trades/contacts/money/blue prints/etc you can bring back to your home chapter.  Anyone who has any kind of brains and skill can make traveling well worth their wild.

Unlike (badly run) NERO, it seems that DR has a much stronger team leading it.  Reminds me of 'old fashioned' franchising vs McDonald's style.  In the old days of franchising, you would pay some money to a person to use their restaurant name.  What was served might be completely different.  In McDonald's style franchising, if you don't use the hamburger buns they tell you to, they yank your license and poof - you are no longer a McDonald's.  I have no idea if DR does this but they seem to all be going from one script.

Story Tellers (AKA ST's) have a shift (six hours?) and then play the rest of the time.

I checked on the DR website and for reasons that escape me, they don't have just regular DR t-shirts.  You can only get chapter specific ones.  Weird.

There was a definite feeling of comradery within the DR community.  I don't know about all of the chapters but this one did not feel 'clickish'.  Since the game is strongly set up on 'groups of people doing things together' (to even make fairly basic things) that seems reasonable.

I do personally see a bit of a problem in that (at the moment and in the chapter I was) 'one money' is still considered a bit of wealth.  Will it become less so over time?  Something like 'dragon poker' (or any gambling) I've not yet seen because even a small amount of money is considered quite a bit.

Unlike NERO, the system they use (from my extremely limited understanding) is made for the 'long haul'.  With something like NERO, once players progress beyond level thirty, they begin to get unwieldy - especially with swinging damage.  Example - in NERO, getting to the point of swinging tens doesn't take all that long.  The problem is that these days, there are people who can literally swing one hundred's.  Balancing monster hit points for both the hard swinging groups and more modestly swinging groups is not really possible.  In DR, swinging tens might be possible but if someone is swinging above that (up to twenties is what I'd heard about) they are burning resources to do so.  Also, I spoke with an experienced (300 build/xp/whatever they call it) character who told me that putting things into thirds (one third into body aka HP, one third into skills and one third into mind which is often the limiter for skills and abilities) is the way to go.

Simpler combat (no stupid spell incants) but a much more complicated social/economic dynamic.  I am totally great with that.

I've been told DR is made for groups.  Solo play is super hard but possible.



IN CONCLUSION

It seems that both the system and leadership of DR are light years ahead of NERO.  Also, DR seems to be growing very quickly.  I've heard that a chapter in CA which is only a year or two old has already bought a permanent site.   The numbers of players at DR events seem a lot larger than any of the regular NERO events I've been to or heard about.  Heck, this (WI) was a newish chapter and it had fifty or sixty people.

But what the hell is the draw?

I feel like I've seen a duck floating on the water.  I know that the legs under are kicking feverishly but wasn't able to see them this last event.

Not sure what the draw is with DR.  I feel I am missing a vital piece of the puzzle.  Hopefully, I will find out more at the next event.

For those thinking about DR or have been to an event and didn't like it - I'm thinking, try to find a large event.  Go check out an event of a few hundred people and see if you can find out what the draw is.  Let me know.

I'll put up more after the Colorado event in a couple of weeks.

WHAT TO GET BEFORE YOU GO

DEDICATION

This blog is dedicated to the Vandenberg family who look to be escaping their birthplace to go live a life of adventure overseas.



TYPE OF BLOG

Before I started traveling, I read a lot of travel blogs. I found three commonalities. a) they were boring. Dull, dull, dull. b) everything was always 'super'. My thought was either they were getting money from corporate sponsors and didn't want to say "Gosh, this place really sucked ass" or they didn't want to say "You know, I saved up money for a long time, went to somewhere and it ended up sucking, gosh did I make a mistake." c) they were not informative past what you could get perusing wikitravel, wikipedia and other common sources. Most were less informative. When people say "Oh, you should check out THIS other travel blog, it is usually the things I've listed. Hence, I don't.

My blog has several drawbacks. It is naughty. Sometimes it goes off in random directions. Sometimes you ask 'why is this bitter old bastard traveling'.

But I hope that I am not repeating mistakes from the a, b and c listed above.


After a quick search on the internet, I am convinced this could be among the most gritty travel blogs in the world.

Most travel blogs like to show you wonderful locations their authors have been.  While overtly telling you 'hey, you should come' most people read that as 'it would be nice but in my soul I know it will never happen'.

In this travel blog, there may be some of that but also a lot of places the audience says things like "Get out Logan!" or "Gosh, I'm glad I'm not there!"



LOGAN GIVES AN INTERVIEW ON TV

Well, not yet but I've always imagined it would go something like this.



AND NOW, FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT

Go watch this car chase.  It's awesome.



WHAT TO GET BEFORE YOU GO

Some nice people who want to escape the cold tyranny of winter are going to be escaping Canada soon.  They are planning to move on a permanent basis outside of North America.  This got me thinking - what all should someone do before either moving or taking a trip?

Here are my recommendations:


PASSPORT

Jason Bourne would be proud.

Get a passport.  Sure, it sounds obvious but in the USA the number of people who actually own a passport is shocking low.  Also, people like to wait until way to close to the time for them to need it before they actually get it.  Can't speak for other countries but the price in the USA is about $100.  You can spend nearly that on a video game.  Buy your passport well in advance - they don't expire for a decade.  If owning a passport doesn't help motivate you to travel, you may need a lot more motivation - but it is still better than saying I will get a passport 'later'.


PACSAFE

The wire mesh that goes over your bag then can lock to something solid can save you thousands of dollars and a lot of stress.  See that long tail on the left part of the picture?  That goes around something and locks to it.  If someone has bolt cutters or infinite time to meticulously pull every item out through the mesh, they win - but most burglars don't have time or bolt cutters.  This prevents 'grab and go'.

Buy a Pacsafe or two.  These are less than $100 each (possibly with free shipping).  Lightweight - you can lift it with your pinkie.  They can be found here - but be warned, they come in different sizes.  Pay attention to what size you are getting.  If you get the 55L one and have an 80L backpack, you're screwed.  Also, buying one larger than your backpack does NOT hurt anything.   Buy one per bag of shit you care about.  I've heard people say "It's only clothes."  Sure - how much will it cost you to replace all of those clothes?  Quite a bit, especially if you've bought quick drying clothing and such.  [Disclaimer:  Logan gets zero money from the people who make pacsafe but would love to.  I like my money delivered by brimming dump trucks.]


LOCKS

As a side note, after you've gotten your Pacsafe and have the lock that comes with it, go buy one extra lock per Pacsafe and attach it to your backpack.  Keep the keys in a safe place and forget about them.  This is the 'oh, I need an extra lock' or 'I had to hack through the Pacsafe lock because I am a dumb-ass and lost the key' lock.  The weight is fairly negligible and honestly, locks made outside of western countries are shit.  The amount of times you need an extra lock (locker in dorms, etc) is higher than you might think.


SECURITY POUCHES

These are photos of my four year old one because Mountain Hardware wants to make it extra challenging to buy their shit.

Under the clothing passport holder.  Because I couldn't find it on the internet, I took several pictures of the one I bought in a Walmart (in the USA) for something like $10.  It has survived four years of extremely hard usage.  A value at twice the price.  Disclaimer:  This is not comfortable to wear under your clothing.  If you wear it under your clothing in a warm climate, it will quickly smell like ass.  Wear it under your clothing.  Buy two so you can wash one while wearing the other one.  "Oh, Logan, our passports will be OK in our easily stolen and pickpocketed bag."   You can always tell people who have the same lackluster attitude as in their own country and believe that the justice system works the same way as back home.  Zero sympathy.  Within this inside of a plastic bag you should have the following:  Your passport, extra money (in US dollars, four fives, five tens, ten twenties at a minimum), credit cards and a dozen passport sized pictures.  Pictures of you.  Not me.  I know it is tempting to carry tiny pictures of me around but keep ones of you.  These will be needed at some border crossings and so on.  If you don't carry them, you will get ripped off by locals later.  Do not smile in the photo, an off white background is best and dress very conservatively.  Do not make signs and stupid shit.   Think passport photos.

May not work as your passport photo though it will become the story of legend at the border crossing.

Note that the security pouch will not be 'invisible'.  The reason you are wearing it is because it is much easier to pickpocket someone than to decide to mug them.   If you are mugged, you can give them your pouch (better than dying though it may feel like it) but running into the kind of people who decide 'I'm going to mug these tourists' is much more rare than the expert pick pocket.

Also, I do not suggest things like money belts or calf pockets simply because you need to firmly attach them to you.  After a day or few, your skin will develop a rash and the things will stink quite a bit more.  Having things snugly fastened to you in hot climates is much worse.


PAYPAL

Note this blog is in no way affiliated with Paypal though we will accept your money if sent to us.  And by us, I mean 'me'.  And by me I mean 'send it'.

Open a Paypal account.  Put some money into it.  Get a Paypal debit card sent to you.  The debit card use to be a bit more of a pain in the ass - it was only for two years and of course they wouldn't send it overseas.  This is a job for whoever gets the dubious honor of becoming your relay person in the states.  Fortunately, Paypal has recently changed it so that debit cards don't now expire for three years.  The reason you want to get one of these is that they are painless - often cheaper than your own bank and they provide another layer of protection between your money and the ATM you're trying to get money from.

I'm sure that long time readers will remember a bank in Central America which sucked as much out of my bank account as rapidly as possible.  Not 'fishing equipment' - no - the bank itself.  Had I been using a Paypal debit card, they could have only gotten access to what was in there.  When you contact a bank about fraud the first step is to cancel the card.  Always have extra cards.  The weight is negligible and you won't notice them if you don't use them.


RELAY PERSON

Posting the picture of a sport in progress is the closest I will come to any sport ever.

Coordinate a 'relay person'.  This is a kind-hearted person that will lend you their address (you want to maintain an address in your native country), forward correspondence to you and so on.  This is pretty much only necessary if you are going to be gone more than a few months or a year.  Most of my readers are young enough that their parents can do it for them.  If you aren't, find someone you trust.  You won't need to go so far as giving them 'power of attorney' (getting attorneys involved is never a good thing) but having someone take care of things for you in your home country is never a bad thing.  When you first leave, there will be more but it drops off to nearly nothing the longer you are gone.


BACKPACK

Pictured is an 80L backpack.

The backpack.  Gosh, I wish I'd read a sensible article on this before I bought mine.  First, I don't recommend army surplus stores and such.  As anyone who has actually served in the armed forces will tell you, civilian stuff isn't generally made by the lowest bidder.

What I would recommend in a backpack are two things:

First, find the ones that have a big zipper (not pictured) that goes around the entire bag like a big happy face.  You can unzip the bag and fold it open.  Much better than digging through it like a mad badger any time you need something.

Like this but a full size backpack instead of a tiny day pack.

Second, buy the largest one you can fit onto your frame.  Many times, you are stuck taking something bulky but light - such as a jacket.  If you have a small backpack you can barely fit all your stuff into, you are screwed.  If you have a large backpack that is always half empty, you have plenty of space.  This is also good for the people out on brief trips who want some presents to take back home.  I've heard people who bought the 55L bags say "This makes sure I don't pack too much."  You could go that route or develop some fucking self discipline.

This will help.

How much should you spend on a backpack?  This depends on how much you will be traveling and such.  Generally, an 80L bag is a bit less than $200.  If you are spending less than $100 on a bag, it will probably fall apart at a critical time.  If you are spending more than $300, you are getting a bag for the long haul.   The bag is surprisingly critical.  No matter where you go, it will be you and your luggage.

Some people want to buy the luggage with wheels and such to drag around.  I don't advise this unless you are strictly staying within Western Europe and North America.  I admit that I've gotten at lot of cheap laughs watching people who were dragging their cases through mud flats and sidewalks or roads barely fit to be called that.  A backpack is the way to go.

Not recommended outside of the 'first world'.

After packing everything you are wanting to take into your backpack, wall six hundred meters with it.  Throw in three or so flights of stairs.  If you can't carry your stuff, it is time to get rid of some of your shit.  You carrying it.  Not other people with you - you.  [Yes, Logan has done this obstacle course many times.  Possibly hobbled myself from it but it is part of what needs to be done.]  If you think this is excessive, I would point out that I've done this more times than I can remember.  For example, the border between Cambodia and Thailand is easily this much of a walk - and there are stairs.

There are a number of clever things you can have in your backpack such as cord and plug adapters but generally, people wildly over pack.  Most of the stuff you simply don't need.  Just remember that most things (toothpaste, dental floss, make up, etc) are used in all countries.  Don't get tied to one specific brand and you'll be OK.


BANDANNAS

100% cotton

You may think "I don't wear these hence I don't need them."  You would be wrong.  You will probably end up wearing them in hot climates.  Also, they have a large number of uses - anything from wash clothes to bandages and yes, I've used them for both at one time.

The color you get is important.  I would suggest ugly ones in pastels.  Yes, pastels.

Many gangs and political movements wear or display certain colors for various things.  You do not want to be affiliated with any gang or movement, especially if you don't know what it is.  Nobody I'm aware of uses any pastel colors.   Ugly bandannas are better because it decreases the likelihood of the laundry service stealing them.  You may think that each and every time you get your clothing back you will count everything but unless you are extremely anal retentive that won't happen - and if you are, you probably won't be traveling.

How many bandannas?  Last I was in the states, they were about a dollar each.  Get ten per person.  If you don't use them at all in the first couple months, throwing them out won't be financially crippling.  Also, finding all cotton bandannas is sometimes more challenging than you would think.


WHEN SHOULD I BUY ALL OF THIS STUFF?

As soon as you make the decision to go.  I mean really make it.  Not a 'someday' type of 'promise' to yourself.  Perhaps having all of that stuff in a pile right next to the door will help motivate you to do something other than a 'staycation¹'.   Buying it all (and starting on the paperwork for passports and such) half a year or year out is clever.

Note, if your sense of adventure is limited to reading travel blogs and you have no desire to leave the country of your birth, that is OK.  I was mainly speaking to the 'someday'  (ie 'I am lying to myself and to Logan') crowd.

SPECIAL NOTE

Everything you don't want to have become wet should be placed inside of a waterproof bag.  I recommend clear plastic shopping bags.  Clear so you don't have to play the 'what's in this fucking bag' game.  Shopping bags because they are usually free if not dirt cheap and easily replaceable.   Note that clothing is bulky enough that putting it within individual plastic bags is not feasible.  For that, you'll have to hope the rain cover of your backpack does it's job.  For everything else - especially if it can leak (soap, pens, etc) plastic bag them.

WHAT DOES LOGAN CARRY?

I was just searching through the large backpack and this is what I found:

Three extra pair of glasses - correctional - got these cheap in Cambodia.

Two rolls of toilet paper - good quality - if you are needing it, you don't want it to be shitty - pun and toilet humor intended.

Pack of playing cards - I realize these days most people instead want to pull out their phone to flash the amount of easily black marketable goods worth many times the average persons monthly wage in order to entertain themselves playing a game in order to drain the battery before something vital comes up like needing directions to where they are staying but I don't own a phone.

Cord (10m?) - this has all kinds of uses from on the spot repairs, temporary clothes lines, BDSM, repelling down into crocodile pits, etc.

Scissors - good ones in home made case so they don't cut through random stuff.  Useful if you are forced to cut the cord.

Medicine - note that it is cheaper overseas but have enough for at least a month when you start out.

Less than a week's worth of clothing.  All experienced backpackers always advise 'throw out clothing' if someone complains their load is too heavy.  The thinking is probably that the person should have already thrown out all of the stupid shit they thought was necessary.  My approximate clothing (it fluctuates and I am too lazy to go count) is about five shirts, one pair of wrap pants, one pair of more customary pants, a dozen bandannas, six pair of socks, eight pair of underwear/shorts.  For clothing, I recommend very conservative, no logos, no messages, not expensive looking, durable.   Believe it or not, I've seen people from the USA wearing shirts with the 'Merican flag on them and such.  Not really clever.  Just dress conservatively.

Because going through customs in this shirt would be awesome.  I sense a free cavity search on the way!!

Toiletries - fortunately, being male this means I don't have many.  Bottle of liquid soap (don't use bars), a wash cloth, deodorant, toothbrush, tooth paste, floss, ear swabs (like Q-tips but low quality local kinds) and a super fast drying towel I avoid using whenever possible.  If you use it a couple times it quickly starts smelling horrible but it is always good to have one in case the horrible place you are staying does not provide towels.

Sandals - the kind with a strap on the back to keep it on.  If you are going anywhere warm, you want these.  Get them where you live as the quality of footwear is shit in other places.  These also come in very handy when your shoes are soaked.

Shoes - I know a lot of ladies like heels but outside of the 'first world' you are risking major mechanical injury wearing them.  I recommend well 'broken in' shoes.  Buying a new pair of shoes 'for the trip' is a universally bad idea.  Having shoes that can walk through mud and shit is a good idea because you will.  Bring extra socks.

The last weird thing I have is a 'HIT' pack I picked up in Indonesia.  It is a small heating unit that plugs into a wall which heats up a small tab (sold separately) which makes a smell mosquitoes either hate or die from.  I've no idea which.  It isn't something I've seen outside of Indonesia but mosquitoes are dangerous as well as super annoying.  This makes them go away and it was cheap to boot.  Because they are so light, I bought all of the tabs the store sold and have been carrying them around for a couple years using as required.

You put the white tab into the light blue thing, plug it in and hope the place doesn't burn down.

In the smaller bag all of my computer stuff goes.  A trick I learned from my buddy Pete is to have a multi-outlet plug.  In many hotels, you get one or two plug ins.  Less places to plug in means you can't use as much electricity - hence more profits.

Mine is only a small three plug one but having more plugs never hurts.  Except in weight.

Sadly, my computer stuff weighs the same as everything in my big bag.  However, I get plenty of use out of my computer.  If your big back weighs over say 15KG, you might want to seriously reconsider.  If all of your stuff weighs over 20KG, know you have more stuff than Logan has needed for four years of living abroad and moving constantly.  Do you really want to carry that much shit?  I've come across so many people who wished they had 'packed less and brought more money'.

Kindle.  Another company I'm not getting money from.

If you don't have one, I recommend getting some sort of electronic reader.  "Oh, but Logan I like the feel of real books..."  Sorry, part of travel is 'getting over it'.  You could lug around 'real books' or put a couple thousand books on your kindle and have lightweight books to last a lifetime.

I don't have a reader but do have an MP3 player.  I listen to books since my eyes have gone bad due to my illness and bathing in shockingly dirty water from time to time.



YE OLDE NERO STORY

When Blizzard and Lumsie traveled together, Lumsie was "Hello Kitty"!

God, that still makes me laugh. Before that day, I'd never heard Derek's teeth grind together before!

The full story:

Derek and I went to some chapter - was it in Canada? I don't remember. Derek had been there a couple times before and kicked plenty of ass. He is like my polar opposite as far as being a player in NERO - ie competent. He had pretty much single handedly saved the day for the chapter last time he was there.

He and I arrive.

"Hello Lumsie! Hey everyone it's Lumsie! Hi Lumsie! Hi!" (pause, Look at Blizzard) "...Hello...er...Lumsie's friend!"

(Grinding noise)

Fantastic!



GAME REVIEWS OF STEAM DEMOS

I'm sure a lot of people will give me shit about judging a game within the first few minutes.  "Oh, it gets better, you just have to give it a chance."  It never does.  Also, the game developer - like an author has a job to draw people in quick.  If you can't make some aspect interesting for people - something to draw them in quickly - you have fucked the pie.

Seeing a lot of 'independent games' I can understand why no company would fund them.  It's great that you get some quirky unique games and I support their right to make them.  For many, I'm just glad I don't have to fucking play them.  The kind of programming asshattery and buffoonery makes me think there are good reasons why they don't get funding.


Black Ice Demo:  They actually had all of the right stuff for a demo in place.  Quick start etc.  A demo done right.  The game was just a bit too static for me - nothing seemed to be going on other than the shit I was starting.  No illusion of the world moving beyond me.  This game would have ruled the 1980's though!

Depth Hunter 2:  Makes me wonder just how bad Depth Hunter 1 sucked and who would be insane enough to fund number two.  This got old within the first three minutes.

Maker's Eden:  Obviously programmed by twats.  Couldn't shut off the music.  Trying to made me watch their self indulgent intro yet again.  WTF.

Merchants of Kaiden:  I do like 'merchanting' but this made me loath it within the first few minutes.

Salt:  Can't go under water.  That always smacks of lazy programmers to me.


¹A mix of poverty, fear and a shitty job.

DIGGING DEEPER INTO GUATEMALA

DIGGING DEEPER INTO GUATEMALA

One of the very nice things about being a traveler (opposed to a tourist) is you have no set plans.  No schedule other than what you choose to set.  Or what the visiting government has set as their 'Get the fuck out of my country' date.

After a day or two I got bored with Antigua.  While loitering around my 125Q per night hotel, I strike up a conversation with a couple tourists.  They ask the usual questions and are curious as to what I want to do in Guatemala.

"Well, right now I want to relax."

Antigua is pretty expensive for that.  They recommended San Pedro.  For USD 10 and four or five hours of my life I can be there.  Why not.



OH HELL YEAH

You can never tell where a random conversation with a couple of nice people is going to take you.  This one took me to a lush jungle lake town with friendly locals and cheap prices.  They've got quite a good expat community and everything seems very nice here.

For those who don't carefully read every word I commit to the ages,

When you travel, find expats.  They know what you want to know - especially if you are staying in an area for more than three days.  Three or less is a pit stop.



BETTER LIVING THROUGH LYNCHING

Living close to the 'raggedy edge'....

I'm staying in a pretty idyllic town.  Jungle, lake, quiet.

All that was shattered when three natives went into a bar and started waving guns around.  Oddly, they weren't robbing the place.  They were just showing their power.

According to locals I've spoken with, the local cops are worse than useless.

Logan:  "So what will happen?"
Innkeeper:  "Well, they'll be out of here by tomorrow one way or the other.  There might be a lynching, bodies dumped in the lake."
Logan:  "I'd like to point out I've already paid my tab."
Innkeeper:  "We're not worried about you."

Slice of my life.

PS:  Do NOT tell me to 'be safe'.  I know it's an American thing but I'm here for adventure - not safety.



UNSKILLED LABOR, REVISITED

I've mentioned it before with my story from India about the air conditioner repair man.  Had another baffling case of it today.

I'd ordered a custom made shirt for 100Q (about $12).  Got there and the woman told me she had a problem.  Not a problem for me but a problem for her.

Despite having taken my measurements and seen me before she had used too much material on the shirt.  Hence it would cost 150Q if I still wanted it.  I didn't so I left.  She apologized saying it was her problem.

This brings up several baffling questions.

I'd be willing to bet this woman has done sewing and stuff for over twenty years.  How can you NOT figure out how much material and come up with a price for it?

Also, who the hell will she sell it to?  I've not seen any locals my size and the store is off of the tourist trail.  Now she has to sit on that inventory indefinitely rather than sell it at break even or a slight loss?

So when people talk about 'unskilled labor' in other countries, sometimes they are talking about people who have done their job for over ten years and still have no clue what's going on.

Baffling.



SPANISH

So I recently stole a 'how to speak spanish' podcast thing.
Christ, it is boring.
If they had fun phrases like:
"Don't shoot me"
"There is a schnitzel in my leiderhosen"
"Why do you play so much fucking hippy music"
"Where can I find a midget?"

Then it would be much more interesting.

And useful.



LOGAN DISLIKES MUSIC

Why I prefer the sounds of two cats screwing as opposed to music:

If I say I don't like the noise, nobody looks at me as if I'm insane.

Nobody tries to tell me that if perhaps I heard different cats fucking, I'd enjoy it more.

Nobody asks me which cats I like to listen to fuck in a clever ruse to subject me to noises of their preferred cats fucking.

It's softer than a live band.

If you kill the cats, you will just get a fine.

There was no evil human influence behind the cats decision to fuck just outside my window.  If there was, I wouldn't be the only person deeply concerned.

The cats don't expect you to tip them.

Disclaimer:  I have respect for those who can play instruments, have worked hard on them, etc.  Should I pay to go to a concert, I'll be interested in hearing it.  If you come to me with an instrument and just start playing, I'm going to start looking for some 'in heat' cats to have near you while you're trying to go to sleep.



SOME NOTES ON GUATEMALA AND HONDURAS

Within both countries, not many people seem to smoke openly.  It could be a religious thing but perhaps the price of cigarettes (double to triple some countries in SE Asia) keeps people from using them.

Moza is a dark, though not bitter Guatemalan beer popular with Logan.

For somewhere around $150 per week, you can live with a family and take four hours a day of Spanish lessons.  Eventually, this might happen but for now the Laziness Monster is winning.

As with many countries in which the natives don't really understand counterfeiting, old wrinkled bills are often not taken.  They want crisp, fresh and perhaps newly minted ones.

Maximum from ATM machines (both countries) seems to be about 200 USD.  That sucks when you have to pay charges each time you withdraw money.

The cheap meals in both countries (3 small tacos or one extremely deflated burrito) runs around 1.50 USD.

The countries in South America (Guatemala, Honduras, El Salvador and Nicaragua) once upon a time had a little agreement where you could travel within all of them as though they were one country for a grand total of three months.  For whatever reason, Honduras said 'fuck it' and quit.  Hence, you can go to the other countries for a total of almost three months, duck into Honduras and hey presto get a three month visa.  There is only one little problem with that.  The other countries count Honduras as 'still in'.  When you leave Honduras, they will tell you your visa expired long ago and probably fine you.  The only way out of Honduras overland is sadly through one of the countries still playing this strange game.  If you really need to prolong your visa, check with the expats there - they've got some sort of system involving Mexico down.

While I was in San Pedro, I discovered it was possible to go to another town along the same lake via tuk tuk for 10Q (about 1.25 USD).  Despite the stories of tuk tuk drivers taking their passengers out into the wilderness, killing them and reanimating their corpses to fill their ever growing armies of the undead I went anyway.  San Juan was nice.  Not all that great, but nice.  Didn't have the charm of San Pedro.  Did a bit of walking around and couldn't find a hotel anywhere near the city center.  Later, I heard there was stuff down near the lake but the town didn't look interesting enough to hold my attention for more than a couple hours.

After deciding that San Pedro was nice but not quite cheap enough to save money (too many expat temptations there) I decided to go to Copan Ruinas - right over the border in Honduras.  The five or so hour shuttle ride was hellish.  To continue on toward the Bay Islands, home of scuba diving, will require passing through San Pedro Sula - aka 'Murder Town'.  According to wiki travel, they have three homicides a day.  Hopefully, none of them will be Logan.  While it is easy to say "Well, duh, avoid the town" it's not really possible.  It is a major transportation hub.

Wish I'd not read up any on Guatemala and other countries before coming here.  They make it sound scary as fuck.  It's not.  Bit like living near the worse areas of any town.  Sing it "In the ghetto..."!  Keep your wits and don't get shanked.  Leave bling layin around and it be walkin'.  I'm going back to my hood roots yo.

When I crossed over the border from Guatemala to Honduras, it seemed to get more brown.  Not sure why, it rains plenty in Honduras as well.

Neither country seems to really lower prices during the off season.  Might be part of the reason they don't have more off season business.



NERO PLAYING (This is the LARP, live action roleplay.  If you have no interest in this, skip to next section for pricing in Guatemala and Honduras.)

Disclaimer:  These are all my views.  If you have your own views you can either leave them in the comments section or start your own blog.

Since I get asked from time to time how to play NERO, I thought I'd put some of my advice here so I can simply refer others to this.

There are four kinds of healers:

Templars (they heal themselves):  Don't play until 25th or 35th level.  Being a templar before then means you suck at two different occupations.

Circle healers:  These are usually out of shape people - like me - who sit around the healing circle.  You bring people to them for healing - they don't or can't come to you in time.  This is the class to play for the obese or crippled.  Or those who can't throw.  Again, like me.

Bind-O-Mancers:  These are the people who either chuck chaos or pin/web/bind/confine.  These guys work on taking out monsters.  Sadly, because most plot teams suck at statting monsters, these don't exist that often due to the high number of resists/returns/immune monsters have.

Backpacks:  These are arguably the hardest healers to play and probably the most valuable.  These are the guys who are attached permanently to ONE fighter.  They cast a magic armor on the fighter just as a monster is calling a slay then they call the defense for the magic armor for the fighter.  They pump small amounts of healing into the fighter - just enough to keep him up.  While the fighter in front of them ALWAYS has a sword and board (sword and shield) don't backpack those who don't - you usually lose.   The fighters job is simple.  Never back up and run over the healer.  Never sprint away from the healer.  Just keep swinging those 10's and catch everything thrown at you - never dodge.  The healer should be calling their defenses and fixing everything that goes wrong with them.  A good backpack keeps the fighter going almost indefinitely.

Do's:

A good healer NEVER carries a weapon.  Their weapon is the fighter.  Carrying a weapon slows casting and changes the focus of the healer from casting to ineffectually fighting.  If you want to find a shitty healer, look for one who carries a weapon.  Carrying a two handed weapon (example a 2H staff) in this game system is the mark of a wildly incompetent healer.  If they tell you 'it's for blocking' or some such it is a sign they don't get the game of NERO.

A good healer always keeps count of how many people go out on a mod then counts again when returning.

A good healer always just throws healing at someone rather than uses healing arts.  If a cure light doesn't get them back up, check if they are dead and ask for 'visible effects'.  But first use a cure light or '10 elemental healing' - they might be a couple seconds from dead.  If they call a 'shield magic' hit them again with the same.

A good caster (any) always double taps the target.  If someone casts one spell then waits to see what the call is, they are incompetent.

When any caster first starts out, they don't have many spells or body.  They get to either whine they have no spells or do the 'crap jobs'.  Crap jobs include, force feeding people with 'cure light wounds' potions, gathering packets and giving them to other casters and soaking slays instead of letting them hit the fighters.  Example:  If a healer has 5 HP and something throws a 100 point slay, you have the option of either healing 100 HP of the fighters damage or a cure light on the healer and hey, they are back to almost full HP.

A good healer never heals someone who is up and walking around.  Someone with 1 HP swings just as hard as if they are at full HP.  It is better to let a circle healer get them back to full later and save your healing spells for keeping them going.  The fighter will bitch but tough.  I've seen people who have only 20 body wanting to get healed to full.  That shows they don't know how to play NERO.

A good NERO player always travels to different chapters and learns from their best PC's.  Otherwise, they don't learn how the game is played.  People who never travel inevitably become lame and clickish over time.  Not sure why, that's just how it happens.



COSTS

Cheap meal, 1.50 USD
Cigarettes, 3 USD
Regular meal, 8 USD
Drink at a bar, 1.50 USD
Water, liter, about 1.10 USD
Coffee (not as good as you think it should be for central America), 1.10 USD
Boat across lake to different town, 25Q.  Health and safety nightmare.  If it sinks, you die.
Shuttle, San Pedro to Copan via Antigua (with mandatory sleep over and a three mutherfucking AM wake up), 200Q.
Room in Copan with detached walk through the rain if you want to use it in the middle of the night bathroom and shower, 10 USD after haggling.

WHERE YOU BEEN FAT BOY?

Hillbillies vs Hicks vs Rednecks

One of the questions I've been asked quite often has been "What is the difference between hillbillies, hicks and rednecks?"

I suspect that the answer will vary depending on who is asked.

One answer was given by Jack who is starring in some of the videos below:

"Rednecks farm, hicks collect trash and hillbillies marry family."  (Meaning brothers marry their sisters, etc.)

From Brian the answer we get is:

"Hillbillies are born, rednecks are by choice.  Hicks exist everywhere - there are so many different types."


And from my friend Kevin, who is a hick, he says it's regional as to which someone is.  See 'Cooler Corn' videos below.



BIT OF CONVERSATION

Seth P. and I were talking:

Logan:  "My parents had some of their friends over.  They told me to be 'charming'.
Seth P (laughing):  "Do they know who you are?"
Logan:  "They really don't."



Welcome to the world

And, once you're in it:

NERO STORY

In NERO, it seems that lots of people want to 'become nobility'.  Usually, this is a sign of 'raging ego'.  They like other players bowing and scraping.  I've never been into this.   The only reason I made Lumsie any sort of nobility was it fit into the story.  Because it was 'from another dimension', it was rarely taken at all seriously.  So I'm at the NERO event and the head of the Bloodguard (can't remember his name, I called him 'the Captain') had pretty much taken over NERO Nebraska.  He stopped by with all of his players and said "Bow to Lumsie!"  They all did.  I was feeling pretty awkward and uncomfortable till I looked over at Derek Jones (playing Blizzard) who had a WTF look on his face.  That made it all worthwhile.



WHERE YOU BEEN FAT BOY?

Apologizes to the readers of this blog for not posting much during "Logan's Home Invasion".

While in the USA, I didn't do 'tourist things'.  I met up with a lot of very cool, kind individuals.  Honestly, my interactions with them were of huge interest to me - but not so much to people who don't know them.  Also, since I'm in their homes, didn't want to breech their privacy with my 'unique' reporting style.  It felt good to take a vacation from my...er...vacation?  Lifestyle?

And now, the thank yous...

Thanks to the trip coordinators within each state for working their asses off coordinating stays and rides.

A heartfelt thank you for all of the people I stayed with who provided time, effort, food, alcohol, cigarettes and in some cases even paid for my NERO events.  They went so far above and beyond the call of duty - or even common hospitality - that it blows my mind.  My favorite activity was sitting around and getting to know you all better.

Thanks to the NERO chapters who comped my events and to those who made me feel at home.  Although I really don't 'play' NERO any more, the chance to meet up with other NERO players, tell stories, train, and, in the few cases where the plot teams had any flexibility, to get people involved with a 'Lumsie story' was a lot of fun.

For those who don't know what a 'Lumsie story' is:  It's been over a decade (?) since I've played NERO.  For some unknown reason, stories involving Lumsie (my character at NERO) are still going round the campfire.  It is weird being a celebrity - even in such a limited way.  For those who don't know what NERO is, it is a LARP.

Almost everyone I stayed with is a NERO player.  When you get involved with NERO, it is joining a new family.  A huge, strange, dysfunctional and at times incestuous family - but a good family nonetheless.  It's a family I'm proud to be in.

PS:  If I missed anyone in my thank you's, let me plead pre-Alzheimer's.



FOOD WITHIN AMERICA

Warning to my readers not from 'Merica.

The food there doesn't do you any favors.

It's very good going in...  But...

I don't know if it's that it is all 'Frankenfood' but it was worse on me than street vendor food in NW India.  Considering that I ate either homemade or small non-fast food restaurant food exclusively, this is alarming.



STRANGE STUFF

It's very strange to be a world traveler.  This is so far outside of many people's lives they just can't really grasp it.  Or don't care.  Honestly, I expected to be quizzed a lot more about my travels than I was.  Instead, many conversations went like this:

Host:  "So, you're a world traveler."
Logan:  "Yes."
Host:  "I have a cat named Tibbles."

And we talk about their cat.  Very odd.



HEADED TO GUATEMALA

I flew on Spirit Air.  For some reason, they wanted 'proof of onward transport'.  This is not required by the countries I'm visiting.  I suspect it has something to do with the OCD displayed by air carriers.  Beware of it and have a fake ticket prepared.

Since wiki was full of scary shit about Guatemala, I decided to first visit the protect tourist place of Antigua Guatemala (Old Guatemala).   From the airport, it was only 80Q (about 10 USD) for a nice shuttle ride.  Passing through the capital, there seemed to be nothing of interest other than poverty and desperation.

It is more expensive in Antigua Guatemala but it should provide a good way to settle back into traveling.  The hotel room I've got seems fine though I may have discovered what I call 'fun and games' (aka shenanigans) being done by the hotel to charge extra money not on the bill.  Got to check it out.  If so, I'll move and put up an unfavorable review of 'Posada Juma Ocag'.  We'll see how it goes.

Haven't seen anything in 'Antigua' that seems to be a reason for tourists to come here.  Very baffling.  Perhaps it is a center point for exploring Guatemala.  Not sure.  Hell, there don't seem to be many tourists around.  Much less than say Kathmandu.   What they do have is a lot of guards and police armed with pistol gripped, pump action shot guns and wary looks as well as bars on every window.

Yippie ki yay.



VIDEOS

Beach
Magic Show
Cookout
Cookout 2 - the reckoning
Mini-house
Torturing Children
Tonia the Tour Guide
Unfriendly Plant
Tonia the Musician
Tonia the Witch
Whose Momma's little...
Cooler Corn 1 & 2 (yes, it was delicious)
Call Her Boo
Real Juggling

BARBERS

THE BARBER STORY

When looking for something, I always play a game of "Twenty Questions".  It is different from the normal game in that it is the same question spread out over twenty people.  This is a frequently played game for people visiting foreign countries simply because half the people you ask have no idea and want to be helpful by lying.

Interviewing the older members of society who actually know where things are.  As they possess know knowledge of English but make expansive hand gestures which can be as difficult as interpretive dance to understand.

Eventually, I found myself at what I always think of as a 'manly barber shop'.

Since the 1980's these have not been seen within the USA.  Within them, you can get a straight razor shave while terminally nicotine addicted men lounge about.  These are extinct within the USA having been replaced by either 'fu fu' salons or chain barber shops with their revolving door staff.

In a fairly run down part of town was the barber shop, it's presence being marked by a highly stylized pair of scissors you could only see from the sidewalk in front of it though looking into the barred windows was easier.  After wandering around the building a bit, I discovered the only entrance was through a shop selling eyeglasses.

The sixty year old (he told me) barber was finishing up with his previous customer who sported a fair amount of blood on his neck.  Undeterred, I got a chair.

We spoke in a mixture of English, Georgian, German and sign language - the latter being the most useful.

Shave and a haircut, 10 GEL - half the price or less at a chain store in the USA with a lot more care and quality.

Sadly, the quality part didn't rub off on me, but the barber did the best he could with what he had to work with.

Since I only get a shave and a haircut once a month, my appearance is usually midway between 'basic trainee' and 'terrorist in training'.

Unexpectedly, I found myself back in the Elvis restaurant.  Certainly, I did take the subway there and walk to it but it was the siren call of hamburgers that brought me.

Because I am a perverse person, I instead had a very mediocre steak burger while being freaked out by the numerous statues and pictures of 'the King'.



NERO STORY

The cabana boy story:  Once upon a time, Derek and I went up to Canada.  I don't remember which chapter.

We found some young guy and hired him to be our 'cabana boy'.

Any time we would call out "Oh cabana boy!"  He was to loudly and immediately sound off with "Yo ho ho sir!".

He did literally everything for us - fetching drinks for us, doing our dirty dishes, being ambushed by monsters if we thought there might be a trap.

If we saw him sneaking up on monsters, we would call "Oh cabana boy!" just for the hilarity that would ensue.

Note, for those that are reading this thinking "So you abused this poor low level newbie for the entire event, yes.  Yes we did.  But we did promise to pay him well.  We didn't.  We paid him obscenely well.  We may have left him the richest guy in his chapter.

I consider him a crunchy because he would die very quick.  I have a very broad view of 'crunchies' - they include low level players.

FOUR DAYS TILL LEAVING SE ASIA

NARRATIVE

Still hanging around Cambodia eating Mexican food.  In about four days unless everything goes to hell a plane should be winging me rapidly toward Istanbul.   Since enough of this town has been seen to  be ignored, books have been read and a pretty awful free MMORPG called 'Crystal Saga' have been my only indulgences.

It will be nice to return to the Republic of Georgia.



SHOE STORY

Since making the extremely minimal effort at health known as 'walking around', shoes have begun to be demolished as rapidly as cheesecakes in times past.  Not only have my Czech walking shoes moved into the irreparable category but yet another pair of sandals has been lost.

Only the left shoe of the sandals seems to get destroyed.  Apparently left handed is indeed left footed as forensics has taught and the strain upon the primary foot greater.  This has ruined yet another left sandal.   Should it have been the right, perhaps mismatched sandals could have been added to patched and sewn shorts and - regrettably - tee-shirts.

Asia has become synonymous with a vast over abundance of shoe stores.   Should all shoe stores be forced to close and give their stock without charge to the inhabitants of the country, every person would be ten pair of shoes to the better.

Sadly the fashion of these shoes is regrettably Asian.  Shoes made by the same culture that thinks multicolored lights within a mouse which twinkle incessantly does not make the sort of unobtrusive goods I prefer.  Not being a teenage girl nor redneck, these sorts of overenthusiastic products are made to attract attention.

Better if my shoes made no sort of statement than quiet and competent.  Gaudiness pulls attention from where I'd prefer it - my face and my words just as the  overenthusiastic mouse draws attention from the computer screen with it's needless incessant carnival light show.

Knowing that any pair of sandals I purchased with the shoddy workmanship endemic to Asia will perish within a couple months, I went for low price and managed to ruthlessly bargain a poor lady down to $10.  Given that I may have been her only customer for the day it eludes me how she and others are able to keep their stalls open.




BOOK REVIEWS

John Keegan, "Winston Churchill - A Life".

Long have I had an abiding interest in Winston Churchill.  Arguably the greatest Englishman ever and certainly one of the most determined people to have lived.  Long conversations chiding my friend Matt Lunn that he wasn't nearly as cool as Winston Churchill come to mind.  His retort that I wasn't all that cool fell of deaf ears as I wasn't even English.

Reading this book helped dispel some of the illusions about W.S.  He was a great man - but a deeply flawed.  He was extremely smart but prone to many poor choices.

Overall, an excellent book.  It was detailed without becoming dull.  Unlike some of the other biographies of W.S. I've read this one kept things moving along at a fast enough clip you could listen to it without either nodding off or slitting your wrists.



Stephen Fry "Moab is My Washpot"

Prior to listening to this, I only had three thoughts on Stephen Fry:

1.  He is a 'treasure of England'.  This is the guy whose sonorous voice did the wildly money generating 'Harry Potter' audio books.  And, he just seems to be a 'treasure of England' though I'm sure that many people - including Stephen Fry - may disagree with that.

2.  He is a very smart person.  I've seen him on QI - 'Quite Interesting'.  I know that they feed him a lot of the answers and such via an ear piece, but this guy strikes me as very smart indeed.

3.  He is funny and has been in several comedy TV shows and movies.

After listening to the first twenty years of his life in autobiographical terms, my opinion of him is the same as of Winston Churchill after listening to a biography of him.  Both men are deeply flawed individuals, very human and it would be very nice to know them personally.  They are interesting people.

As to the book itself, Mr. Fry is very easy to listen to.  Much of what he says is interesting though he goes off onto huge tangents and a bit of rambling.  Since it is his autobiography, I feel he is allowed to do so.  Glad I heard it though it won't become something like the Discworld  series that I like to listen to again after a period of time has passed.


The Fry Chronicles - an Autobiography

This book picks up where 'Moab' leaves off and covers the next decade.

Although it is an interesting look into the rapid catapulting into fame, it wasn't as endearing as Moab.  Also, he makes  quick reference to many names, businesses, products and such that - not being English - I've never heard of.  For his countrymen, these probably bring a quick whiff of memory.  For foreigners, they become tedious lists of no consequence to the overall narrative.

Interesting but not as poignant as Moab.


Stuff White People Like


Currently listening to the book "Stuff White People Like".  As the philosopher Homer Simpson once said "It's funny because it's true."

They even covered an experience I've noted earlier in my blog about how upset other white people get when they are traveling abroad, in an obscure place and spot a fat white guy lounging around.  Since this destroys both their 'unique experience' as well as the 'authenticity' and they no longer feel like some sort of explorer, they become sad and upset.

Wack jobs.

The book itself is ironic and humorous.  Reading it immediately brings to mind many people who are white and middle class I know.  Disturbingly, I myself have done many of the things listed there.

More disturbingly, various directors and such listed are completely unfamiliar.

I don't feel like I am being a good white person.  I didn't even get a liberal arts degree.

I recommend this audio book.



LUMSIE STORIES (NERO LARP)

Lumsie loved the undead. Being a necromancer was great. Story: I was up at a chapter in Canada. It was dark and foggy out and all of the PC's were hiding in their cabins. "What's up?" Oh, I was told, there are loads of undead out there. We're going to stay in here till the morning. "Bugger that." So Lumsie wanders out of the warded cabin. Immediately two death knights jump out of the shadows. "Take me to your leader, beotches!" One is into it, the other makes lots of threats. I am taken to the leader. He rants about how it is his town, everyone is his subjects and he will crush everyone. Including me. Then, he asks who I am. "Brother Lumsie!" The guy playing the NPC and the NPC himself were both of one mind at this point. "Oh my god!" He gushes. "I have always wanted to meet you!" Big hand shakes and back slapping all around. Lumsie points to one of the death knights. "He was mean to me." Glower and a growled "I will deal with him...later..." The death knight shifted uneasily. I was then taken on a tour of the town and given armed death knight escort back to my cabin when tired. Upon gaining entry "Were you OK?" "Yeah", I responded. "Pretty quiet out there..."

Lumsie was hanging out in the woods.  There were half dozen ogres wandering around throwing up.  Their blood had apparently been tainted.  Tempest (Seth Warfield) wandered up and screeched in the high pitched dragon voice "Lumsie!  What happened?"  Lumsie, looking panicked said "Plague!  Real sudden like!  Best I should go!" and scurried off.  Tempest glared after Lumsie grunting "Uh huh..."


Big I'm not sure but one that comes to mind:  Lumsie has undead for parents.  'Not consorting' is simply not able to be done as it would be 'rude'.  So, it is Lumsie's birthday, Oct 31.

There were only a few people in the tavern.  Lumsie's mother (played by Amy L) - a very nasty vampire - swoops into the tavern with several minions.  Everything stops.  The people who are there are either unwilling or unable to take on this level of Fa King undead.  Plus, to do so might start a really nasty interplanular war.  They just sit, riveted to their seats.

Amy had baked me a chocolate cake.

It got very 'upper class English' after that.  "Lumsie are you being good?"  "Yes mummy!" and so on.

She would alternatively threaten and speak at the other people in the tavern.  Whenever she had her back turned, I stuffed as much of the chocolate cake into my mouth as possible.  When she looked back, sit up straight and attentive - with huge chunks of chocolate cake falling out of my mouth.

She utterly failed to notice - by design is my guess since my face looked like I'd eaten out a chocolate golem.

"Yes mummy!" I'd say in stereotypical upper crust English to whatever question she had or statement she made then back to the face stuffing.

The thing I remember most about that whole scene was the frozen looks on the witnesses faces, halfway between humor and horror.  It was a nice birthday for Lumsie.

Ramblings of An Old Man - Lumsie book

Back when I was playing NERO I had a character who wrote a trilogy consisting of four books. Yes, he was that kind of character.

Because some people have asked for the books I am going to put them here in my blog so that we can keep them around - well, for as long as the blog isn't deleted anyway.

I'm not sure how much you'll get out of these if you aren't into roleplaying games, LARP's and that sort of thing. If you're not into it, that's all good - skip any entries with 'Lumsie Book' in them in the blog. There are only four books and I'm not playing NERO any more so you won't be assailed unsuspectingly by more in the future.

There will be a total of four blog posts with this information on - one for each book for cleaner access.

Note that sadly the original difficult to read fonts didn't survive being brought into this blog. Very sad. Much easier to read - but still very sad.

I'd also like to thank Derek and Julie Jones who had these on their hard drive and were kind enough to send them over.