SUPERFLUOUS THAILAND VISITATION

SUPERFLUOUS

Yeah.  Got to use that shit in a title.  And it meant what I wanted.  Suck it, Pulitzer prize committee.



SE ASIA 'CLOCK'
These are Logan's observations.  While I have had some other travelers agree with them (or at least think they were humorous) you may have your own ideas on these.  Good.  Here are mine:


Sunrise minus 2 till sunrise: The only people up at this time are generally tourists dumb enough to think that something is more special at sunrise. Or want to be able to brag to people they saw x at sunrise.

Sunrise till ten: If you enjoy seeing closed shops, this is the time to wander around. Most shit you want to see and do is closed.

Ten till sundown: Some stuff open, a lot of people on siesta. They don't call it that here but avoiding the big angry orb in the sky is smart.

Sundown till sundown plus three: This is the time to go and see and do everything. Hell, a lot of stuff doesn't open till this time.

Ten till midnight: Sensible drinking at nice places.

Midnight till four: Poor choices, increased chance of bad shit.

Four till sunrise: Only the truly desperate are out and about.



PHARMACY ADVENTURES

In Thailand, they have either tuk tuks (see 'pro tip' below!) or 'meter taxi'.  As I've probably said in the past, both are often  (usually?) staffed by insistent beggars and rip off artists.  Especially the ones parked around tourist areas.  After being told they wanted to charge me five to ten times what the journey should cost and hell no they won't use the meter I decided to instead catch the water taxi to the hospital.  It is on the opposite side of the river near Khao San Road.

For those not in the know, Khao San Road ("Co like 'cope'" and sometimes spelled Khaosan Road because 'reasons') is the fluffy bunny tourist area.  If you aren't here for whoring or getting your perverted fix, this is the place.  Family friendly and all.

Since this is the tourist spot, the prices are a lot higher than other places.  I asked where to get medicine (as it is restocking time) and was told to go to the hospital - they have many pharmacies near there.

I chatted with various Thais when I made it across the river taxi (step lively or die horribly) and was directed to one.

A fellow customer told me I was very lucky to be at this particular pharmacy as it is the cheapest one in Bangkok.  I told her I was freakishly lucky.  Four different medicines for a year, about $100 to $125.  They were only missing one.  Since I will eventually be back to Bangkok (possibly to meet a friend as well as catch my eventual plane back to Jolly Ole England) I may end up swinging back by there to get the missing medicine if I can't find it in Cambodia.

Buying in bulk raised some eyebrows.  I was asked if I would be taking it back to my home country, maybe reselling it, etc.  Note that they were still going to sell it to me - they were either just curious or were looking to get cut in on the deal.  After assuring them it was all for me for the next year and that I had no home they gave up on that line of questioning.

So I got most of the medicine I need.  Hopefully, I can get the rest at some point soon and not have to worry about it for another year.

What is shocking is that the meds cost less on the open market here than I'd have to pay with the VA (Veteran's Affairs) office footing most of the bill in the USA.  Folks get mighty ripped off there for some rich people's stock prices.

Cambodia note on pharmacies:  The ones in Cambodia seem a bit grittier and it is a fucking epic quest to find something.  Seriously, you may end up wandering to eight different shops to find one thing you need.  While this isn't bad if you are a fat fuck and need to either eat less or burn more calories and fucked if you're eating any less sooooooo....



PRO TIP

I've come across this when dealing with people who have never been in SE Asia.  "Tuk tuk" is pronounced 'took took' - like "I took your pudding."  No idea why it is spelled the way it is.

No idea why it is said this way but book readers sound like idiots when they mispronounce it.  Because drivers are constantly trying to get you into one by stating what it is, anyone spending more than an hour here has heard the correct way of saying it at least a dozen times.  And probably has developed some rage.



WHAT AM I DOING IN BANGKOK?

Heroic Cthulhu.

Recorded in London, England and put up on youtube.  Both audio only and audio with visual formats.

These are TTRPG's which have been recorded and people seem to enjoy watching or listening to.

Currently, I am working on the second season.



WHEN SUDDENLY

Through the magic of staggering out when I write this thing, I am suddenly now back in Siem Reap Cambodia because well, fuck Bangkok.  I've really been there too much.  For like $8 a night I was staying in a pretty miserable room with a fan.  For $13 a night I now have AC and a mini fridge and the room looks really nice. 

And beer is cheaper than water (at restaurants/bars).  Seriously.

The current price for beer is fifty cents.  If you buy a water at a store it is maybe thirty cents (Cambodia uses the US dollar as it's currency - yes, really) but at restaurants it is generally seventy five cents to a dollar.  It's nice to see that the price of beer (and rooms) haven't increased in the last seven years here.  I know I've not been making more money.

Siem Reap seems to me to be a bit more squalid and trashy than it was.  Not sure why that is.  I don't mind squalid and trashy - it's generally cheaper to live in places like that.  Wondering what is causing it here though.  Due to various physical ailments nobody else gives a fuck about (take a lesson old people) my walking has been cut down to about a third of what it was.   Plus breaking my foot twice.  By stepping on it.  Too fat for my own feet.  (Note - if you make a joke about the physical ailment, you might be able to get away with mentioning it but it had better be a fucking short joke you rambling old bastards!)

Now I'm staying at my favorite restaurant, 'Viva!' in Pub Street within the heart (there's not much else) of Siem Reap.  I'd often seen signs advertising the place for $20 per night and figured I'd treat myself for a night while I looked for  something more affordable.  Haggling got the price down.  If you can't haggle, learn to be rich instead!

The manager of Viva! even gave me a card for 15% off of the food (in perpetuity) since I'd been a customer here for years.   Though grateful, I was thinking "It is NOT easy to get one of these fucking cards!" 



RAINY SEASON VS DRY SEASON

A lot of people hear 'rainy season' and say 'eek' because they think they're made of sugar.  While I don't recommend wandering around in SE Asia's rain (you'll probably get sick - a lot of things here can make you sick) it normally does not rain all day.  It normally rains for an hour or two then it's done.  And the temperature is much cooler.  Of course you then have to deal with tons of standing water (they are not good at making roads or sidewalks or gutters here) and 'squirt stones'.  Long time readers of the blog will remember those are the loose pieces of sidewalk that get water trapped under them.  You step on them with one foot and dirty water squirts onto your other shoe, leg, friend, etc.  That's what I call them anyway and they are fairly prevalent.

Right now (NOV) it is on the cusp of the two seasons - the only two they have.   The rainy season is ending and the dry season beginning.  Neat.

It's great that I've managed to procure lodging now and will be paying in advance because the great 'wander around' time for the ordinary person (New Years) approaches.  They don't really do much for Christmas out here other than a few expats and it's not a holiday I care about.  Actually, none of them are (you people need an excuse to drink?  What's that all about?) except where it impacts travel.   New Years is a huge one.  Get your lodging early, pay in advance.  Don't go anywhere.  Hunker down.  Buy some provisions (alcohol, water, snacks) in advance so you don't have to worry about it.

Ensure your place is rented out for these holidays - preferably in advance - or you'll end up paying a premium for the week before and after.  Unless that country celebrates Christmas - then a week before Christmas till a week after New Years is premium time.  Plus, all of the transport will be crowded or possibly even sold out.

The next time I will need to travel won't be until February.  At that point I will head back to Bangkok, go to the airport then fly back to England.  And hang out there making Heroic Cthulhu season 2.



THAI TRANSLATION

'Sausage' = shitty hot dog.  Think one of the cheap ones in the bargain bin that rednecks turn up their noses at.

'Ham' = think about a piece of Oscar Mayer bologna, inexpertly heated up (ie part hot and part cold - somehow rather than just being lukewarm).

'Egg' =  the 'eggy' taste will be double or triple what you are probably use to.  Plan accordingly.

PRICES

(As of OCT/NOV 2017!)

Water taxi, 15 baht.  Note - make sure the boat is pointed in the direction you want to go.  They do NOT turn around.  (At least not where I was.)

Decent place to stay, nothing fancy but great internet, 300 baht.  (That's less than a cheap meal at a lower class English pub.  Really.)  Note that the internet in Viva (Cambodia) seems better.  Weird.

Beer - half a dollar.  Contrast with Thailand's three to four dollars for a beer and wonder why anyone fucking goes there to drink.

Within shops, you can get loads of different alcohols for around ten to twelve dollars per bottle.  [They do have wine here but there is way too much to know about wines to mess with them for nice wine.  I've not yet started mixing red and coke yet though that may happen in the future.  Or not - I have enough of that in England to keep me happy.  Also, they don't have any (that I've spotted) truly cheap (four or five dollars a bottle) wine here though I've not really been looking.  Most seems to be around twelve to fourteen dollars at a glance.]

Tuk Tuk (Cambodia) - for short rides if you're giving them over two dollars, you're horrible at this.  Seriously.

TALES FROM THE HOOD

TALES FROM THE HOOD

Walking down the street and espied a guy walking the opposite direction toward me. "Trouble", thinks I. "Probably a con man who will try to talk me up."

Sure enough, he stops me and launches into his spiel alternatively telling me I am a 'lucky man' and 'do you know what your trouble is'. Push/pull technique. "Well, I know what unsolicited advice is worth." I retort. He is trying to come off as some sort of mystic who has just happened to run across me and has a message.

[Any real mystics would know the best way to get my attention is to hand me ten thousand dollars and a crossroads to meet at after a couple hours. Gives me time to get to the bank and get the money changed, make sure it is real. A crossroads is still public so I'm less worried about getting rolled.]

Sadly, this guy's English isn't good enough to get more than the very basic responses from me. I'm thinking if you are going to scam someone in a new language you need to get pretty fluent in it. Eventually he needed my input. "Where you from?"

"Say goodbye!" I responded.

It took him a couple of repeats to get it, so entrenched in his anticipated responses. Then, he just left without a word - which was a mercy.

Being able to read people - at least on some basic level (always learning, pity I'm not immortal) is something I'm very happy with.



SIGNS YOUR WORK MAY BE TOO DANGEROUS

You don't feel comfortable cleaning your gun unless a different loaded gun sits beside you.

Notching your gun belt each kill would weaken or destroy the gun belt.

Having so many scars people often mistake you for Frankenstein's monster.



A BIT O RAMBLING

Found out I should not leave my phone in my pocket when applying talcum powder to my torso.  Felt like a pretty 'duh' move.  Did I mention it is damn hot here?  I do feel a bit bad for all of the people who suffer through the cold but apparently they like it well enough not to expat.

In better news, it seems there is a chance that paying for an entire month may cause the price of the room to drop by perhaps a third.  Honestly, I didn't even check on it because the place is so cheap.  It may be one of the few places in Siem Reap with air conditioning for $10 per night.  Aside from the three hour nightly concert of xylophone music (which in the US I think may only be in grade schools and huge concerts) it is a pretty decent place.

They even make sure to give me a couple bottles of water every day.  It could be that I walk in looking like I was just playing the 'who wants to drink from the fire hose' game after wandering around during the heat of the day for a few hours every day.

We'll see after the guy talks to his sister who seems to be running the show.  She seems like a shrewd businessperson and I'm thinking the price won't drop but we'll see.



OTHER TALES

Demon Accord series

Honestly, I didn't expect to like them.  They have painfully overused fantasy elements.  The indestructible super hero, the sexy vampires, werewolf pack mentality, no ugly (read as 'realistic') people etc.

So why did I try it out?  Main answer - it's a series.

While there are some 'stand alone' books I like, they generally piss me off.  When you are done reading, it's over.  No more.  And anyone who has ever met me knows there is nothing more I enjoy than overindulgence.

Why do I like this series?  I have no fucking idea.  I'm up to book four and haven't flagged.  I would compare it to a simplified Dresden or a 'Bill the Vampire' (but without the slapstick) type of series.

Check it out if you enjoy urban fantasy.



Book review, Adrian's Undead Diary series by Chris Philbrook

Normally, I'm not a big fan of zombie books.  The buxom girl looks back while fleeing, trips over something gets eaten.  All that kind of crap.

It will take a better psychologist than I am to figure out why the hell zombie books/TV/movies are so popular.  I suspect it is a combination of first world guilt, boredom with the status quo, the need for massive change and humans desire for some sort of global apocalypse.  Until it happens, of course.  Nobody got real excited about the Black Death when it was under way but there have always been religious nuts who forecast that very soon the apocalypse will be upon us.  And other nutters who listen.

I'm not a huge fan of zombie fiction.

This book is a lot like World War Z (which I didn't like and the movie was a 'WTF has Hollywood done') so if you like that, you may well enjoy this.

I'm not sure why I enjoy this book.  Part of it may be that the main character isn't the kind of tool that you yell 'What is wrong with your brain!' and end up hoping the zombies will messily get.  He strikes me as a calm, thoughtful individual who is doing what he needs to in order to survive.  He has emotions which creep out small ways but he holds himself together admirably.

About a third of the way through the first book and am doing fine in this massive series thus far.  While it may turn to crap later, thus far I'm enjoying the book.  (Update, into sixth book - check out this series if you enjoy zombie stuff.  Even if you don't you might end up getting hooked.)

Also, the audio reader is good.  Very good.

For RPG gamers, this series (or at least the first couple books - not past that yet) should probably be a 'must read' for any GM wanting to run a long term zombie campaign.

One word review:  Addictive.  8/10.



LOGAN'S THOUGHTS ON ZOMBIE STORIES

Zombie Tales:

The downside about zombie stuff seems to be that it follows the same story arc. Since I'm currently reading a zombie book series, I'm going to try to list them here. These may not always be in this order and some of them may be mixed, depending on the plot.

Phase 1: The shit has broken out. Everyone tries to come to grip with the new reality of zombies bite bite biting everyone.  At some point, one or more of the characters will become bitten or infected - usually through some sort of easily avoidable mistake.  When the others discover one of their group has become infected, more drama ensues.

Phase 2: The looting phase. Humans need a huge amount of shit to live. Water, shelter, food, Twinkies, guns and so on. All of this must be hauled back to...

Phase 3: The set up of the fort. In addition to making it zombie proof, it needs to be hidden and human proof because of the...

Phase 4: Raiders! AKA the 'who is the new asshole who wishes to become the next Lord Humungus. Always one will arise with his band of raiders. The always want YOUR shit.

Phase 5: Fighting of Lord Humungus. Lots of fighting. Sure, most of the population of the world has died and zombies are busy trying to infect everyone but by now fighting stupid zombies has gotten old. Fighting other humans is the new red. So to speak.

Phase 6: Resolution of the fight with Lord Humungus and the rebuilding of society.

Phase 7:  Struggle for the leadership of the group.

Phase 8:  Integration of zombies with everyday life; news service.

Note that in most tabletop RPG's, usually only phase 1 and 2 is usually hit. I think there are a combination of reasons why such as the group only meets on the second Thursday of alternative months (ie 'unmotivated gamers') and combat is much easier than story (ie 'lazy or inept GM's/players). Also, maybe the logistics of tracking how many shotgun shells you have left for your aging twelve gauge have just gotten to cumbersome. While I'm sure that there are many gamers who have taken it beyond the first two phases, unless I was GM'ing, I didn't see it in three or four decades of gaming.

Thanks to Kevin D., Stephanie T. and Travis B. for their great input.


Further reading:

If you are wanting to write zombie stuff, this and this may be of assistance.

What other phases did I miss?



PRICES - SIEM REAP, CAMBODIA

Note - all prices given are in USD as that is their currency here.  Many tourists do get suckered into buying Cambodian reil but don't fall for it.  Those are only used for small change (a 1000 reil bill is twenty five cents) or by people who don't know better.

Mexican food at 'Viva' restaurant - 5-9

Lovely margarita in the half liter size (why go for less?) also at 'Viva', 5

Indian food with large bottle of water, 4 at 'India Gate' restaurant though it costs more elsewhere.

Laundry per kilo, 1

Room - I've found that the average cost is about 20-30.  This is fine if you are traveling with another person and splitting the bill (or have more money than this poor author) but a horrible price for me.  Finding cheaper  places takes a day or two.  Booking on the internet is a terrible idea, especially since many of the places are no where close to 'Pub Street' - of which you want to be in easy walking distance.

8% - getting the bank to do a CC transaction, less if you take your chances with the ATM's.  Which may or may not work.

Bottle of cheap wine, 5.

Alcohol, about 50-60% of the price within the USA as they don't have 'sin tax' as they aren't brought up to feel bad about alcohol and tobacco.

Packet of smokes, 1.  This is a bad country to come to if you are trying to give up smoking.

RUN WHEN THEY GO CRAZY

RUN WHEN THEY GO CRAZY

The place I was staying - and had been staying for awhile - developed problems.

The owner has hit the 'burn out' part of owning his own guest house.

When I first got there, he set the price ($12 per night) and since it was a good price I didn't haggle.  We did agree that after the guests who were in my old room moved out I would retake it since it was a comfortable room.

Then the problems started.  The toilet (or drain?) wasn't working.  Days went by.  First, he tried to clear it himself.  Then, he got a plumber's snake.  Then, he called in a plumber.  Then, he discovered that not emptying the septic tank for four years even though it is expensive is not really a good option.

Either he got sick of me checking on the status of the room I'd been promised once per day or he figured he could rent it for more than the price he had set.  While very drunk he just kept muttering "Maybe you should go find a different place to stay."

Not wanting to be cast out during a time when many of the rooms would be full (boat race festival currently going on), I tried to pay him and tell him I could just keep the same room.  He refused payment.  The next day, I caught attitude from his family as well.

It was obviously time to move on.

Run when they go crazy.

Searched around for an hour or two and found a nice place for $10 per night with mini-fridge, AC, desk, etc.  All the stuff I like.

The only downside is that it is next to a fancy hotel which is pleased to have a nightly 'native music and dancing' show.  This is populated by the kind of tourists who think that sort of thing goes on outside of fancy hotels.

But that's only for a couple hours a night.  There are no barking dogs outside my window.

So this place is looking good enough that I ordered some new glasses.  Since the festival will be going on for about three days, it's going to be ten days until the new glasses are done.  I'm getting two pair of normal glasses (vision has gotten slightly worse), one pair of prescription sunglasses and some reading glasses for $135.

You know you are old when you are excited by reading glasses.

My stomach looks exactly like this - filled with Oreo stuffing.

MOVIE REVIEW

American Ultra

I like quirky spy movies, found this and decided to check it out.

Pretty much the first twenty minutes is the slowest thing ever and can be summed up by:  "The protagonist is in love with a girl, a bit of an apologetic looser and wanting to marry a girl.  His face is in CIA records."

Christ, the first twenty minutes were painful to get through.

It had some good parts in it but overall wasn't quite quirky, funny or interesting enough to be a movie really worth watching.  I'd give it a five, boosted up from a four just from some decent killing scenes.



BOOK REVIEW

"Agent to the Stars" by John Scalzi

The audio book is read by the talented Will Wheaton.  I like him a lot better as an adult than I did on Star Trek: TNG.

Without giving away the plot I can say that it has humor, aliens and movie stars aplenty.  Check it out.

I've got to say that his ability to read, do various characters and so on is mighty impressive.

BEAR NOODLES OR LINES DEVELOP?

GOOGLE TRANSLATE

"Bear noodle or lines develop?"  The waitress asked me on her phone.  Taking a wild guess at it, I went with making small motions.  She smiled and nodded.  Got small noodles.  I've no idea what is going on with google translate but it doesn't seem to like Thai.

The restaurants were pretty much the only thing I really didn't like about the town of Khon Kaen.  Sure, Thai food is in my top ten but after a couple weeks solid of eating it I really wanted some variety.

The hotel room was lovely and large with a non-Narnia (or dead hooker) wardrobe.

It didn't look as cool as this because Asian creativity seems to be reserved for historical times or I'm staying in places that simply can't afford it.  And there were no children creeping around.  Or goat legged freaks.

The wifi was good at the hotel until about three or four AM when some idiot would turn it off.  Till I went down and convinced them it did not need to 'rest' and the amount of electricity they would save for having it off a couple hours was negligible.

The town itself was OK and I did spend a decent amount of time wandering it.

After a couple weeks there I was ready to go somewhere else.

Because the town is not on the 'tourist trail', that means I got to travel on a series of buses and such like a local.  Cheaper, slower and more crowded.  (See 'costs' section below.)

Eventually we reached the border where a dirty scruffy guy attached himself to me saying I would need his help.  Turns out I did.

The border is poorly organized with the place you need to buy your visa stamp inexplicably far away from the place you get your stamp.  I've no idea why they do this as it is illogical and frustrating.  Also, the building is fairly innocuous and unlabeled.  Maybe they just want a reason for the dirty scam artists to be employed.

But yet...

Soon enough he started in on wanting to get me transport.  Forty dollars.  Oh yes, he was the driver.  Yes, it was a normal taxi.  You would be sharing the vehicle with two other tourists.  All lies, of course.  After I told him I wouldn't be needing transport the price dropped by half.  Note, this is pretty close to the regular price.   Because it was so late in the day (we'd end up arriving at midnight) I went along with it.

The vehicle and company oddly ended up better than advertised.  I was going with a Russian tour guide named 'Oscar' (harder 'ar' on the end than the USA pronunciation) who was getting his ride for free as his company often rented the van.  Just the driver, Oscar and I.  We had an enjoyable conversation and decided to pay a visit to the Mexican restaurant Viva before the kitchen closed.

Over my objections Oscar paid for the food.  I was suppose to hear from him over Facebook and get the next meal but I suspect he got busy.  Some other time.

And now I'm back in Siem Reap.  I'd picked up the extendable 'ordinary' visa rather than the normal tourist visa.  We'll see how I feel about staying here after a month has passed.  If I can tough it out, I may stay a second month to avoid travel during Christmas/New Year.  Bad time to travel if you don't have to.

There's not a whole lot going on worth blogging about right now.  I'm back to having a choice of food and the staff of Viva has taken to tempting me with margaritas.  Oh, the evil.



COSTS

Taxi from the hotel to the bus station, 70 baht
Bus to Kolat, 120 baht
Bus from Kolat to near the border, 155 baht
Crossing the border, 100 baht in a 'tip' to a guy who lied about everything but did help out.
Private vehicle to Siem Reap, $20

RAZY LACISM

A RACIST GAME FOR YOU TO PLAY

I was directed to a store called "Low-Bee-San".  I double checked twice on the pronunciation.   See if you can guess what name it really is.  Hints:  Not that uncommon of a last name for white people, also there is a song containing it from the ancient days before MP3's.

The answer to this will appear later in the blog.

Also, I found that if I pronounce it correctly, the locals have no idea what I am talking about.



SIEM REAP, CAMBODIA

It's always funny to me how judgmental travelers are of other travelers.

Unless you are doing the stuff they think should be done by other travelers, you are clearly wrong.

I was talking to a Dutch guy I'd met at Viva (the Mexican restaurant).  He asked me "Why did you come to Siem Reap?"

"To drink.  And eat Mexican food."

He's the kind of guy who likes to do 'home stays', eat a lot of local food and so on.

I explained that I've been traveling long enough that I've done all of those things at some time - I just like eating and drinking at that particular restaurant.

And...did I mention where I'd met this guy?


The last night I was staying at the guesthouse I'd been at for three weeks, Mr. Reeet had what started as a small party and quickly blossomed into lots of locals and foreigners.

While I was talking to one of the other guests, she asked how I was able to do something or other.

"Because I am Logan!"

She responded with an emphatic "Fuck you, Logan!"

I just grinned at here.  Should have gone the full Eddy Murphy though.



As I was packing up to leave, my Central American pants finally collapsed into a black hole and pulled themselves through to the other side.  It was sad.  After a couple seconds of mourning, I tossed them in the bin.  That leaves me only with the extremely durable wrap pants.   (See The Harpy & The Hag for all your wrap pants and clothing needs!  Still, one pair of pants is just not enough.  I knew I'd be stuck getting some in Thailand.



When I left on the $28 dollar 'big, fancy' bus it was neither so big nor as fancy as I'd hoped.  The seats weren't as large (or Logan is getting LARGER) and there was no real space in the over head rack.

Managed to get two seats to myself as they had the space and I asked the attendant if it would be OK to move.



BORDER - CAMBODIA / THAILAND

The best thing about the expensive bus is that you get a small placard to wear when you get off the bus at the border.  This lets the bus know who you are.

It also acts as a magical talisman and lets all of the border scam artists (there are many) know you are already with a certain bus.  Rather than attempting to scam you, they just indicate which direction you should be going.

For people unfamiliar with the border or travel, this itself is worth the extra money.

If you don't wear the bus talisman, you can always print out one of these to wear.  Not sure if it will help - let me know.

Unless you can find and hire one of the rare individuals with a push cart, you will be carrying all of your luggage about half a kilometer.  If you can't carry your stuff (by yourself) that far, you shouldn't have the stuff you do.  Oh - and there are some stairs to lug your stuff up.  Did I mention the unnecessary stairs?

Once there, I got a thirty day visa.

This confused me for two reasons though I failed to bring up either to the nice border guard.  First, I had read that people crossing the border by land received only a two week visa.  Second, I thought there was a thirty dollar or so cost for the visa.

I did notice he looked at one of my old Thai visas and seemed happy with that.

And so long as he is happy, I am happy.



BANGKOK, THAILAND

As expected, the bus dropped everyone off at Mo Chit ("Not enough Chit, damnit!  I need mo!") bus station.

Met up with a couple from the same bus.  They saw me dismiss a couple taxi drivers with phrases like "I don't even want to talk to you any more!" and asked what was up.

I was getting a lot of quotes to take me to the train station ranging between 500-800 Bhat.  Didn't want to tell people "Fuck off, thief!" but I was clearly showing my displeasure with them.

"Look", I told them "If you don't want to get ripped off, you have to leave the bus station area.  I am out of here."

They walked with me as far as an ATM (not far) but then the guy announced he wasn't walking "All the way to the road - it was too far."

These were young, healthy people.  As people who are familiar with me know, I have serious medical problems that make it so I can't even stand up straight.  On top of my numerous back problems (not helped by hauling 20KG plus of shit), my legs have swollen up with blood and one foot hurts like I sprained it, causing me to limp.  And I'm lazy.

And these young, healthy people think it's "too far"?

Pussies.

You've got to harden the fuck up a bit to travel.  I don't consider myself all that rugged.  Another thing is I have less money than common sense.  Well, I don't have much money at any rate.  Fuck it, I'm poor.  But why pay double to these rogues?

Ended up not making it all the way to the road before a 'meter taxi' picked me up and informed me it would be 200 bhat.

They do have a place where you can catch 'metered taxis' (ones that use the meter rather than shaft you deep and repeatedly) but there was such a huge line for them and they came so rarely it wasn't even something I considered.

So I decided to take the metered taxi.

And ended up back in the Bourne Identity.

For those who don't know, when I was young (and could literally turn my head) I did a bit of stupid stuff in cars.  High speed chases, car tag (where you bump the other car to tell them 'they are it') and so on.  I've rolled a car and gone through many cars.  No idea how many.  Got taught how to do a PIT Maneuver and so on.

When I got into this guy's taxi, he made me feel right at home.

This was the most aggressive driving I'd come across in a long time.  He didn't quite push people out of the way but did his best to make them want to get out of his way.  Oncoming traffic?  Sure - swerve into that shit.  We didn't quite go up on the sidewalk.  Had they been as small of curbs as in the US and not filled with various merchant's wares I'm sure it would have happened.  But they are steep in countries like this for a reason.

Because I've accepted death as my constant companion (as I typed this I was nearly fatally struck by a car today) and inevitable end, I didn't whine or clutch at the 'Jesus handles'.  Just figured we were making good time and planning my escape if we crashed.

We didn't quite 'drift race' but we did skid to a halt outside the train station.   The meter was only at 150 bhat or so for the half hour race of death but I just gave him the 200 baht he mentioned at the beginning.  He'd earned the tip.

Got on to the train.

When you have the sleepers (even if your trip is brief) you end up sitting across from the people who have the other cot.  There are no compartments.

It was a mother and daughter.  Despite my offering some Pringles, they were both terrified of me and wandered around the train until it was sleep time.

Not nearly so good at making friends as M&M's.

Food does not come with your train ticket.  Your choices include buying whatever crap they bring by (all the same) or ordering off the menu.

I was very excited after they brought me a menu in both Thai and English.  Thai is one of those languages that only people from here or fairly serious about staying in Thailand people bother to learn.  In other words, nearly no one.

Since there was no sign of the mother and kid from the seats facing mine, they set up the small table turning the seats into a booth.

Yeah.  Good fucking luck with that.

Here is the difference, pictorially, between Cambodian food and Thai food.

Cambodian bus food.

Thai train food.  The stuff I really liked was kept warm under the pineapple desert.

Above is the six dollar 'set meal'.  It was amazing.  Better than I've had at many restaurants.  "I don't know what this side dish I'm eating is and have never had it but it was so fucking good I'm spending a moment of silence when it is done in mourning" type of good.

The train appeared to be the 'non-Express' train despite it's name but after the first couple stops kicked in at a good rate.  It was noisy and bumpy.

Not something I felt I could sleep in.

But the journey was only five hours or so.

At seven PM I was told I either got to crawl up in the top bunk (yeah, right) or that I should go to the dining car.

Wait - there's a dining car?

And I could smoke in there.  And drink coffee.

I passed the rest of my trip chatting with train workers, the restaurant staff and armed railway police.  It was excellent.

In both of the Thai trains I've been on, the dining car hours are roughly five in the morning until ten at night.  Despite people getting on at various stops, they really haven't figured out shift work and such here.  Presumably, the staff crashes in the dining car.  The dining car is like a bumpy wind tunnel with all the windows down.  Very retro - very 1980's.


Here's an important safety tip - don't get up and go to the doors leading out until the train has come to a complete and final stop.  Unlike European trains, there isn't much room in there and the train staff told me that pretty much every day someone falls out.  Sometimes they're just injured.  Other times, they break their back or even die.  The train often jerks like a bucking bronco when it comes to it's final stop.  No Americans, you don't get to sue them.  They'd just say "Why you stupid and stand near open door?  You lucky they took you to hospital you so stupid."

Don't be a warning to others.

HUA HIN, THAILAND

14 hours of non stop travel including a 'fancy bus' that wasn't, an insane taxi driver who didn't mind doing stuff I'd previously seen mainly in American movie chase scenes, a train and a bit of walking have brought me to a beach town in Thailand. As soon as I spotted the Burger King and McDonalds I said "Logan, you done fucked up". This town is way too mainstream, hence expensive. Right now I am staying at a $15 shit hole crawling with mosquitoes with 'suspicious stains' on the pillow. I'm going to wander around tomorrow and look for a better spot if I can find one. Probably see the town for at least a day or two. Maybe even eat some Burger King's.

Got to BK's just before the changing of the menu.  Unlike in the states where if you want a burger one second after the restaurant has opened, in the rest of the world you wait until lunch time.  Who could possibly want a burger in the morning?  Besides Americans?

The self loathing is related to the patriotism?  Or is it indigestion?

After the fifteen hours of hell by bus, I decided another twelve by train would be just the thing.  Anything to escape Hua Hin.

It is so expensive there that the tuk tuk drivers won't negotiate.  They look disgusted at any offers less than 100 baht even for a three block ride.  Amazing.

500 baht gets you a tiny tiny room.  There is mosquito netting on some - but not all of the windows.  There is no mattress - just a box spring.  Talking to some other tourists who stayed at different places, I found out they also had no mattresses.   Why they do this is unknown.  And who gets the mattresses?

So what did Logan think of Hua Hin?  The world may never know.

Could Hua Hin have spirit?  Almost certainly.  Spirit beyond "Hey, give me money foreigner?"  Perhaps?



TRAIN HUA HIN TO HAT YAI

Leaves either in the middle of the night or supposedly at 17:17 to arrive at 06:00.

Deciding seven hours hanging out at the train station with all of my bags sounded outstanding.

The train actually arrived at 18:30.

Unsurprisingly, some random tourist took the time to tell me "This train is shit - it came an hour late."  Rather than explain to him I knew and had been waiting the extra hour I smiled and nodded then got on the train.  I didn't mind it arriving an hour late as that should put me in closer to seven.  Note, it ended up being a bit after 08:30 - apparently it is becoming later and later.



HAT YAI

Irony places a surprisingly large part in my life.  This is probably ironic.

The first place I went to I ended up staying - after visiting half a dozen others.  This place is fairly shabby but the others ranged from "You want HOW MUCH for a room?  I don't want to buy the room, just rent it!" to "So you are supplemented by the government to keep prisoners here?"

They have one hostel in town (Hat Yai Hostel - no points for creativity there) but the rooms are basic.  When I say basic I mean they couldn't throw in a table and fucking chair.  Not sure why anyone would ever stay in their private room.  For the same money or a dollar and a half more you can get much better.

With my Stupidcard¹ in hand, covered in sweat, unwashed for a day and smelling like it, I took to the streets to find a tailor.

I did - but it's pretty crazy expensive.  I tried to get the same kind of cloth (cotton) that my wrap pants are made from but I am getting charged a bunch extra because "You so fat!"

Fortunately, I found a bunch of places I can eat for about a dollar and a half so I'll be doing that for a bit.



RACIST GAME - ANSWER!

Remember the game before where you had to guess what the locals really meant by "Low-Bee-San"?

The answer is "Robinson".

Yeah.  That one baffled me to when a guy was pointing at the sign saying "You see?  You see?"

Want extra fun?

Watch THIS video.  Any time they say "Robinson", say "Low-Bee-San" in a mechanical voice.

Is it possible to remain sad after doing so?  I doubt it.

And to end with an alarming thought - what if the Thais are the ones actually pronouncing it correctly and in America we've been fucking it up for years?

Mind...blown.

Full credit to Jimmy Carr for the title of this blog.  Go buy his stuff.  I mean anything.  Even if people just robbed his house and are selling his shit on the street - buy it.



DESCRIPTION OF THE BLOG

From the incomparable Kevin D:

"I suggest getting a tetanus shot and wearing rubber gloves before reading any of his articles. The best description of his blog is the T.V. series "An Idiot Abroad| mixed with "Monty Pythons Flying Circus," basically the ramblings of a deranged mind that to your surprise is not on illegal drugs. It is however best read if you have drank a large quantity of alcohol. I am currently in therapy including shock treatment after reading just two paragraphs of his ramblings. I highly suggest checking it out."

Logan's Voyage is more fun than collecting a pyramid of human skulls.  Well...not really.

A SPECIAL THANKS TO JASON P

He made this.

I'm with the army of the 12 Monkeys!

VIDEOS

Evil Spirits 1, 2
Louis Guest House, Hat Yai - very close to train



PRICES - HUA HIN

Burger King; breakfast $4.  Lunch $10.
Shitty room, 500 baht


PRICES - HAT YAI

Custom tailored pants, 2300 baht.  -30 to -50% if you are one of those skinny people.




¹ A StupidCard is the business card of the hotel you are staying in.  If you don't get one when you check in, you are stupid.  If you get lost, you use it to show locals so they can direct you back where you are staying.  For this reason, the best cards are in the local language rather than English.  A map on the back is less helpful than one would think because usually the locals can't read a map as there is no money to be had in map reading.

CHANGES WITHIN CAMBODIA

UPCOMING PLANS

For some odd reason, I woke up at 7:30 AM.  Fought to get back to sleep and failed.  Guessing it may be excitement for heading to a different country.  This sometimes happens.  Pain in the ass.

The plan for those who are curious:

Tomorrow, Guy is taking me to a train that goes to the airport here in Johannesburg.  We are to arrive there by 6 PM.  The train shouldn't take too long.

Once I get to the airport, I'm going to wait around for a few hours.  Only fools don't arrive plenty early for international flights.

The plane will then take me to Bangkok.   There is a shuttle from the new airport to the old one I must take.  It's free!

Rather than blow a bunch of money (up to $50) for a place to stay connected to the airport, I'm just going to crash in the airport for about twenty four hours.  It's not fun but that's just how the flights go.

Fortunately, I remembered to check that the airports are both open 24 hours a day.  They aren't in some countries in order to drive out the riff raff.

Yes, I realize I may be part of the riff raff.

After a long assed wait in the airport, I fly to Cambodia.  Back to Siem Reap.  Assuming my usual hotel will give me my usual rate, I'll probably hang out there for a month - the normal visa time.  Plus, that is long enough for that town.  Going to eat a lot of cheap Mexican(ish) and Indian food.  Buy some extra cheap ear buds.

After that, I'm really not sure where to head.  Might do some research on various ferries that go to different countries.  While the ferries are pretty dangerous, they seem safer than any flight out of Malaysia - where they have trouble keeping track of the planes.

I'd like to head back to Dani's Home Stay in Indonesia (beautiful place).

Need to research several new (to me) countries to see if they are affordable and such such as Singapore, Timor, Papua New Guinea and Korea.

Use to live in Korea decades ago (still speak some Korean!) and would like to eat a bunch of Korean food.  Good stuff.

Other than that, I'm not sure what else will come about in Asia.  My goal is to stay there for say 15 months.  By the time I'm ready to move out I'd like to be past the nasty winter.

We'll see how that goes.



JUGGER

This is the best thing I found out about in South African NERO.

Here is a video of the sport:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9Zg_aEPME4&feature=youtu.be

Here are the rules:  https://www.teana.co.za/DownloadFiles/Teana%20-%20Jugger.pdf

This is an excellent sport.  As you can see in the video, there are several men and women who like to play it and can compete on a very equal field.  It doesn't require much in the way of props either.  In addition to two sets of short swords, two handed swords and sword/shield, you need a skull and two goal things.  The only other things not really seen in the video is a steel hammer and some large steel thing that is hit at a beat per couple seconds rhythm throughout the game.  If you listen carefully you can hear it behind the music in the video.  Everyone would need either matching t-shirts or tabbards as well.

This is a sport that if people try it out in NERO (in the USA) I'm convinced it will catch on.  It's quite tactical and fun to play and even fun to watch.  (In the video I am the fat guy with the light blue bandanna).

If this catches on as I hope it will in the USA, I could even see NERO chapters having their own jugger teams and challenging other NERO chapters to matches.  This could be big.

[For anyone who cares about such things, I've been told this game originally comes from an old movie called 'Blood of Heroes'.  It may even be played within some other LARPs but I've not seen it at NERO in my over a decade of NERO.  Nor heard of it there.]

My thanks to NERO South Africa (Teana) for introducing me to this very interesting game within NERO!

Note:  Yes, I am aware of the movie it came from.

Note:  Yes, I am sure they play it plenty in other LARPs.  However, in close on two decades of NERO, I've not heard about it.  Neither in the game or in monitoring other chapters boards.  Hence, I discount reports of 'oh, we play it'.  Clearly not enough if it doesn't even make your chapter board.



SWITCHING CONTINENTS

When the time to leave South Africa drew closer, one question I was often asked is "Will you return to South Africa?"

My life is very strange.  Honestly, I can't answer that.

A better question would be "Do you have any desire to ever return to South Africa?"

Mixed feelings there.

Like every other country, there are upsides and downsides to South Africa.

The downsides include feeling like you're living inside of a prison, the $1200 price tag to go there and get back out again, etc.  The upsides include getting to hang out with some really great people.

Hence, I don't know.  If a good enough external reason presents itself, it is possible.



BAG WEIGHTS

Big bag, 14 KG.  The little bag with just the computer shit, 9 KG.

How about that?



WELCOME TO THAILAND, BITCHES

The sources I read on how to get the free shuttle from the new airport to the old were only mostly correct.

For anyone who wants to do it, exit through door 3 (NOT 2) and look immediately to your right.  It's a full sized big white bus.  Good news, the airports are the only stops.


Coming from the UAE there was absolutely no question of 'proof of onward travel' despite many web pages saying Thailand demands this.


Don Muang (old airport) actually kind of sucks to 'bed down' in.  If you need to, I'd suggest hanging out in the new airport then when the time for your flight approaches, catch the free shuttle over there.

While the old airport does indeed have Krispy Creame, McDonalds, Dairy Queen and Subway those are all after passport control.  You can't even get in to the airport proper until six hours before your flight and the good area about three hours before your flight.  Until these times, you stay in the sucky area with shitty restaurants charging $15 for meals they can't even make look appetizing on their own menus.


Playing the "Jason Bourne" game - ie having currency from various different countries - is really neat when you head back to one you actually have the correct currency for.  The rest of the time it is a pain in the ass.


Despite the numerous signs saying that carry on luggage for Air Asia is limited to 7 KG, the check in guy was much more lenient about it.  He encouraged me to keep the cabling with the computer despite it possibly pushing the weight past it's limit.  Not that anyone ever weighed any of the check in bags.  This is a big difference from Ryan Air (the European discount airlines) which only allows you one bag and is ready to charge you more at any time.

Air Asia priority seating, from left to right:  Mummies, old people, people in wheel chairs, pregnant or fat people wearing dresses, people wearing dresses with a monkey lodged in their chest.

BACK IN CAMBODIA AGAIN

Imagine if you will, Logan on heavy sleep deprivation.  Haven't slept more than an hour or two at any one time for the last day or two.  What do you do?

Go drinking, of course.

After getting a kind of shitty hostel, my first stop was to go to Viva Mexican restaurant.

Viva Viva!

They sell a 'bucket' (not a bucket but a half liter glass) of margaritas for $5.  Snagged that up immediately.

While I was drinking, a man with a whiny voice was attempting to grill a waiter on what kind of oil they use to cook with.  He then demanded to speak with the manager about it.  This is the kind of normally powerless twit that isn't really tough enough to go travel.  How he wandered into a third wold country is a mystery.  Hopefully, he won't survive it.



"LUCKY" MAN

After arriving at the airport, I ignored the taxis and headed out to the street to grab a tuk tuk.  They cost less than half.

During the negotiation for the tuk tuk, I mentioned I'd spent a lot of time in country.  Rather than the tourist rip off price, they started at $6.  I haggled down to $5.  If you don't haggle you're either rich or an idiot but most often both.

As we were headed in to the city itself, I reflected at how cool it would be to know hundreds of cities so well all over the world...

I didn't really know the city so well as I'd hoped.

Gone.

My beautiful hotel, gone.  The one which gave me a great room for just $10 per night.  The hotel where I'd bribed the people I'd interacted with.  The people who - last time I was in town treated me like a VIP.

Fucking gone.

New hotel at double the price with the same rooms.  None of the old staff.

Well, fuck that.

The tuk tuk driver took me to about five other places which were actually kind of crappy.  Eventually, I shocked him by giving him an extra five dollars and thanking him for his time.

He called me "Lucky man" because everything was either fully booked, over priced or just sucked.

After checking into a crappy room, I went looking and within an hour found one which gave me an air conditioned room for $12.  Close enough.

Note that most AC rooms are $15 to $20.  The people will tell you there are none cheaper.

They are full of shit.

After checking in, heading to the Mexican restaurant, staggering around for a couple (or few) hours and hitting a bar for a couple quick beers, I eventually decided on a quick nap.

Out like a light for twelve hours.

Twelve.

Sure, teenagers and people bored with their lives can sleep that long but I wanted to go do things and look around.

Like a light.

After waking up, I switched hotels to the one I'd found after sending the tuk tuk driver off.

For some reason, I always have better luck doing these things myself.


The next day, I headed back to my normal stomping grounds near the 'Old Market'.  Found a restaurant which use to be my old breakfast nook.  The owner and his wife still remember me there and were very happy to see me again.

Gossiping with them revealed that the new martial rule in Thailand (where they are actually enforcing the laws now) has been excellent business for Cambodia.  All of the people who were living illegally in Thailand doing 'border runs' to update their visa now have to go actually live for a time in a different county.  This has caused quite an up swell of business in Cambodia.  Also, the possibility of some new EU Asian style has a lot of stuff being built.

Before Anne Rice lost a love one, went crazy and returned to religion (death doesn't become her it seems) she reportedly did things like sleep in coffins to try to 'get into the mind' of vampires.

I do this by just wandering around.

I think vampires would often be depressed at how much areas have changed.  The places they love and the people they knew are always gone.

Boy, that sucks.  Hell, it's been only a year and a half or so since I was here and everything is changing.


The tourist age varies wildly from really young looking kids up to old folks trying to see the world before they die.  Most tourists I've been told stay in Siem Reap from 1-3 days.  Honestly, if all you are coming to do is see Angkor Wat that's probably enough time though the town is not bad.


Reminder - if you decide to head to Angkor Wat, be sure to watch the movie Tomb Raider before you go.  Despite the movie being made as recently as 1991, nobody seems to have heard of it now.  It's always fun to see things you've just seen in the movies.


All of these changes here make me wonder if Burma (now called Myanmar) might be good to head to.  Get that 'unspoiled' thing.  I'm still worried about the currency issue though.  Take in all of the money you will need in perfect condition because there are no ATMs.



THE GREAT ATM HUNT

Nasty shock today.  Tried five ATM's.  No money.

Did they charge my credit card and not give me any money?  Is it a repeat of Central America?

No.

They may have been just out of money.

Yes, this is the kind of country that kind of shit happens in.  Well, it is Sunday...

Fortuitously, the ATM right across the street from the hostel I'm in worked.  It stiffed me for $10 of charges but it worked.  The ATM charges are fixed in this country.  Regardless of the amount you take out, the charges are always the same.  Hence, it is an IQ test.  Do you take out 'just what you need'?  If so, you lose more money.


So what am I doing tonight?

Bottle of rum and movies.



PRICES

Tuk tuk into the famous Angkor Wat, $15 to $20 depending what you want to see.

Winston Lights (cigarettes, pack of 20), .70 (cents)

Big bottle of Glenlivets (whiskey), $12

Can of Coca Cola Light, .60 ($11 by the case)

Can of beer, .60 ($11 by the case)

Bottle of Cuapupo Gold Rum, $9

CAMBODIA TO GEORGIA

LEAVING SIEM REAP

The torrential rains of the night before seem to have mostly drained away.

I arrived about forty minutes early to the bus station.  The people at the Siem Reap hotel I'd been staying were very sad to see me go.

Even at 7:20 AM, the day was getting very sweaty.

An Aussy dressed in poofy pants, a cowboy hat and a bed sheet in place of a sheet met me at the bus station.  His name was Joey and I spoke with him a bit as we went.  When asked about the bed sheet, he explained that all of his shirts had gotten wet in the previous nights downpour and it was the only dry thing he had to wear.   Instead of purchasing extra shirts as he had intended, he got drunk and bought three different hammocks.  Funny ole world...    



ONE NIGHT IN BANGKOK - AGAIN

It was a dark and stormy night when I finally arrived in Bangkok.

During the storm, Joey wanted to hang out under an awning.  Since I was getting soaked along with my gear it became time to part company.  The bindle was getting heavier and heavier as it absorbed more water.

After diving into an Indian restaurant to eat the best mutton curry ever, I bargained down a tuk tuk from his wildly optimistic 500 THB to 300 THB and took the uncomfortable ride to the Sukhimvit district.   Because of the rain and the time of night, I'd considered just staying in the Khao San Road area.  On their price cards, they usually have one reasonably priced 'simple' room and several other very high priced options.  The 'simple rooms' - if they ever really existed - are always full.

Stopping twice to argue with the tuk tuk driver that he should actually take me to my destination rather than dropping me off in the middle of nowhere and one other time so he could ask someone more competent where it actually was that he claimed to know, I got dropped off at the hostel.

This is the same hostel I had met two people I'd seen in different parts of the world.  Yes, I met someone else I'd seen in a different part of the world there.  Kind of an interesting vibe to that place.

The hostel was - with three notable exceptions - filled with the usual foreigners who liked to alternate between partying hard and sleeping.

Two of the exceptions were an old couple staying at the hostel.  Possibly in their eighties, I thought they were someone's grandparents who were meeting them at a hostel.  They said they had been vacationing and staying at hostels for the last four decades.  Their only complaint was that the young people pretty much ignored them.

Ignoring the old couple, I went to bed early.

Since I knew the partiers would be inconsiderate and definitely wouldn't be carrying flashlights, I just left the light on when I went to sleep.  Easier.

The air conditioner was blasting cold enough it gave me a new cough for a couple days.  Despite that, my body was still hot in that room.  Odd.  I punished the young people by sleeping only in my underwear.  They avoided me after that.

The next day, I awoke early and talked to the third exception at hostel.  He  was an old redneck named Mike.  He has inoperable lung cancer and a two pack a day habit.  He spoke of perhaps quitting smoking.  Since the doctors told him he only had six months to live I said "Smoke up.  Enjoy your remaining time how you want."  He had come to Thailand to live on a beach till death takes him.  That way, he can enjoy himself and not be a burden to his family.

Sounds like a plan to me.

We talked about having both served in the same town in Korea although a decade apart.

After that, I took my leave of him and headed to the airport.

On the way, a couple cops told me to go stand over there, possibly due to my jaywalking.  They were then distracted by several other people jaywalking.  During their distraction, I wandered off.  I didn't feel like paying bribes to the police just then.

After a couple blocks, I recalled I'd left one of my locks attached to an empty locker.  Didn't feel like going back to see if the police were upset with my earlier disappearance and reasoned that buying a new lock would be cheaper than buying two cops.

Off to the airport.

Arrived eight hours before my flight, five hours before I could have even checked in.  Some people would say I could have left my bag at the hostel and gone around Bangkok.  Been there so often there is absolutely nothing I want to do.

The big back is up to 17.9 KG.  Possibly something to do with the new business cards printed in Cambodia.

The Bangkok airport has one of those new 'controversial but accepted because we are more scared of terrorists than keeping our rights' body scanners at the airport.

As readers know, I wear a couple of pouches inside my shirt for money and ID's.  They insisted I put the pouches through the xray machine.  Despite the machine being able to see through my clothing to look at my pathetic little cock, they wanted my security pouches off.

I stripped off my shirt and the pouches and dumped all of that into the xray machine.  Going through dressed in only my shorts, I raised my hands and said "If you need to frisk me I totally understand and am happy to comply."

The Thais stared in horror as the waves of fat rippled like currents in the sea.

A couple other tourists goggled at me and I said "Yeah, they're a bit strict on their security here...  It's almost as bad as in the USA.  At least here I don't have to get naked and have a cavity search!"

My goods were quickly returned aside from a bottle of water and my beloved mosquito killing device.  These were taken away.  Sad.

The best thing about the Bangkok airport is a cheaply priced 7-11 within the airport.  This is a good place to eat and drink while living in the airport.

If I eat fast food, I feel sick for a day afterward.  Not sure why - possibly the low food value and toxins within the food.  Despite this, I did look into the prices of Burger King at the airport.  Drink, burger and fries - $13.  Screw that.

Security and customs took about two hours.   I was told that my bag would next be seen in Istanbul.  I was hopeful.

The lady at the Malaysian Air counter interrogated me about my length of stay in Istanbul.  Started having bad flashbacks about the Philippines fiasco where I had to trash the ticket due to having no 'onward tickets'.

She seemed satisfied with my explanation I'd be taking a bus immediately out to the Republic of Georgia.  I exhaled.

While waiting on the plane, someone else got hauled off for not having 'onward ticket'.

Super.

The flight was one of those 'good news, bad news' things.  The layout of the chairs was two, aisle, five then two.  I got lucky and was in one of the two.  The bad news is that it was a 'screaming baby' flight.

During the flight, some cross eyed kid kept staring at me.  Then again, maybe he wasn't.



WELCOME TO TURKEY

Going through Turkish customs from the airport was dead easy.

I found the line marked 'visa', handed them my passport with $20 USD and got a visa.  No questions at all then a new line to get a stamp and off I went.

The airport in Istanbul is one of those which has a subway under it.  Figuring I'm eventually going to need to head back to Turkey, I hit an ATM rather than getting raped by the money changers.  Figure I'll play the Jason Bourne game with currency.  Since the ATM only gives 100 lira notes, I went to a money changer and got some change.  The currency exchange guy thought that was a good idea.

When I got down to the subway, lo, the machine accepts only 5, 10 or 20 denomination notes.  Go team.

For three lira I got a subway ticket and went ten stops to the 'autogar'.  This is the main bus depot.

When I arrived, it looked like a big open square surrounded by various transport agencies.  Like the center of a flower.  Around this like the pedals and screened by buildings are the actual buses.

Turkish for 'bus station' seems to be 'argument'.

Since plane tickets were selling in excess of 300 euros and going through either Munich Germany or Kiev and a Russian prison term for no visa bus seemed a better choice.  On the plane, a Turk was telling me that a plane would actually be the better option but it turned out he had wildly over estimated the cost of a bus ticket and horribly under estimated the cost of a plane ticket.  Bus wins.

A guy asked me where I was going then took me on a long walk to one of the sellers.  This is a mistake, I should have just sought out the Metro bus office.  Metro is a good line and cheaper than the others.  After taking me to the office the guy seemed to be expecting a tip.  I gave him 5 lira.  He grumbled but took it.  Figured that meant it was about the right amount.

While in Turkey, I couldn't find any Turks who spoke English any better than I speak Arabic, French or Korean (aka 'poorly') but due to the number who have dealings with Germany, it was again German for the win.  I was able to use that at a restaurant.  I suspect they heaped my plate a bit higher as well as forcing a free tea on me because I knew German.  Excellent.

One nice thing about the buses in Turkey is that unlike other parts of the world, they keep them quiet.  Everyone gets their own little TV and headphones.  With the exception of a couple hours near the end, no idiots played their music over the speaker.  I know we have that sort of thing where people are subjecting others to their music in public places but it is hoped that people outgrow it by the time they are done being teenagers.

For Logan, a quiet bus is a happy bus.  I can listen to my MP3's and sleep.

The Turks gave up trying to communicate to me in anything other than Turkish since I seemed to understand them.  Go go body language and voice inflection.



INTO GEORGIA

Compared to entering Turkey from the airport where the 'well heeled' (rich) guests come into the country, crossing land borders is always a bit of a 'cluster fuck'.  Daily laborers going back and forth, people hauling goods, lots of trucks, whatever.

To go through the border, we had to dismount the bus leaving our stuff.  We walked to the place to get our passports stamped out.  After getting our passports stamped (eventually) we waited for the bus to make it's way through the onslaught of trucks.  When the bus arrived, we retrieved all of our possessions so we could go through the Georgian side.  I was carefully told by a border guard who I don't think spoke English "Welcome to Georgia".  None of the Turks were told this.  Perhaps they like seeing an American passport.

If you are coming via the border from Turkey into Georgia headed to Batumi and wanted to save time, you could grab everything off of the bus immediately, walk through both borders and immediately catch a taxi.  That would save perhaps half hour to an hour.

After crossing the border, it was eight more hours (of my 26 total hour bus ride) to get to Tbilisi.  Most of the distance between Batumi and Tbilisi is twisting and winding roads.  I know they have night buses and such but no clue how anyone could sleep on them.  I'd have to be passed out from exhaustion to do so.  There are some pretty scenic parts  to see.

Having traveled without cease or shower, I got pretty ripe after three days.



ARRIVAL IN GEORGIA

What I had expected and what I got were remarkably different.

When I left, the hostel had lots of the owners (multiple owners) friends hanging out here, drinking, partying and so on.  As I understand it, the hostel is now owned by just one of the original owners.  The others have gone off to do other jobs.

There were no excited Georgians around to greet me and chat with.  I was disappointed and miss them.

There is a nice lady from South Africa named Bridget who I will be getting to know well as we'll be working closely together for several weeks.  I also got to go out to have some food and wine (very cheap at 4-5 GEL for a liter) with so I am not complaining.



TURKISH CHARACTER

Compared to SE Asia, the Turks I witnessed seemed extremely aggressive.  I'm not talking about violent or hostile but much like Indians who will cut in front of you in lines and so on.  Their body language and demeanor also seemed to suggest this.



NOTE TAKING

Whenever I pull out my notebook and take notes I get curious reactions from the natives.  Some look at me in amusement, some in amazement and some in horror as though I am making notes to pass along to the secret police on their behavior.



VALUABLE LANGUAGE TRAINING SKILLS

Turkey dubs the American movies they get.  This is why the people there don't speak much English.  Dubbing deprives people of valuable free language training as well as making the movie crappy.



REFLEXIVE ACTIONS

Do you remember when you were young and a doctor took a small hammer and hit you near your knee?  Do you remember how your foot - void of any conscious action on your part kicked him square in the testicles?  How the doctor doubled over and began to vomit?  All of these things are what I am terming 'reflexive actions'.  If you were someone like Travis and pulling out a gun and saying "Try that one more time..."

But I digress.

Reflexive actions.

The next time someone tells you there is a difference between normal heat and dry heat, the reflexive action  should be to backhand them.

Either way, you are miserable.

I've lived in Asia now for about a year and am happy to be moving on tomorrow.  I've been to 'non-hot heat' and dry heat counting at least three different deserts.

Miserable and I am tired of smelling Logan.

Tomorrow, should all go according to plan, I will spend a day in Thailand then heading back to Turkey to make the trip to Georgia.

[As a side note, the last person to slap Travis was the doctor when Travis had just been born.  Travis is still looking for him.  In the doctors defense, as all doctors dealing with newborns they say the slap on the rear is to give  them a general idea as to what they should expect form life.]



MP3 PLAYER

Mysteriously, my MP3 player began working again.  This makes me quite happy because in Siem Reap, you are given two basic Chinese knockoff choices - 2gig for $35 or 4gig for $45.  This seems a fairly unreasonable price to me as they have 8gig for $30 on Amazon.

Who needs so much storage room?

Music can be uplifting, relaxing and inspiring.  However, I usually find it after enough repetition to be dull and trite.  Music teaches me nothing.  Books on  the other hand, can offer much.

Books take significantly more room than a few crooned melodies.

We'll see if better offerings present themselves in Georgia.



INTERESTING  ARTICLE

The Five Best did a nice article on beer drinking.  The number five company surprised me.



SHOE STORY

Yet another sandal has broken.  Sadly, it is always the left one which breaks.  Were it otherwise, in addition to my badly patched clothing mismatched sandals could complete the ensemble.



CAMBODIAN BUSINESS MODELS

There is a restaurant close to the hotel.  It is a pretty pricey place on good real estate.  Looks very nice.  The place can hold about a hundred people.  

There are three outdoor cooks, more in the back - and about ten wait staff.

The owners are opening another restaurant within the even more valuable 'Pub Street'.

What confuses me is that this restaurant rarely - if ever has customers.  I've been there several times in several different months and this is always the case.

How the heck do they make money?



STORY IDEA

Hookers, Ho!

A story of dirty pirate hookers through the ages.  Follow these lusty beauties as they ply their trade upon the Seven Seas pursued by an evil Englishman who is intent on making them all disappear!



LOGAN MEDICAL

127 KG.  I can't recall if that is up or down from previous.  I'm guessing up due to Mexican food.  So good.




CAMBODIAN PRICES

Sandals, $10.  Note, prices before bartering can start as high as 150%.

Bus from Siem Reap to Bangkok, $10.



THAILAND PRICES

An excellent meal in the Khao San district of Bangkok of Indian food, $10.

Travel from Khao San Road (the cut off from the rest of the tourist district by intent so the cab drivers can squeeze the tourists for money) to Sukhimvit district by a filthy smelly tuk tuk, $10.


Sukhimvit to the airport via 'sky train', about $3 USD.



TURKEY PRICES

Plane ticket from Istanbul to Tblisi, around 300 euros or more.
Bus ticket of same, 100 Turkish Lira.   Note, "Metro" is only 90 lira.  Go Metro!

Access to a filthy squat toilet, 1 lira.

Cup of tea, small, 1 lira.

What is claimed to be 'Turkish Fanta' and isn't as good, 2 lira

FOUR DAYS TILL LEAVING SE ASIA

NARRATIVE

Still hanging around Cambodia eating Mexican food.  In about four days unless everything goes to hell a plane should be winging me rapidly toward Istanbul.   Since enough of this town has been seen to  be ignored, books have been read and a pretty awful free MMORPG called 'Crystal Saga' have been my only indulgences.

It will be nice to return to the Republic of Georgia.



SHOE STORY

Since making the extremely minimal effort at health known as 'walking around', shoes have begun to be demolished as rapidly as cheesecakes in times past.  Not only have my Czech walking shoes moved into the irreparable category but yet another pair of sandals has been lost.

Only the left shoe of the sandals seems to get destroyed.  Apparently left handed is indeed left footed as forensics has taught and the strain upon the primary foot greater.  This has ruined yet another left sandal.   Should it have been the right, perhaps mismatched sandals could have been added to patched and sewn shorts and - regrettably - tee-shirts.

Asia has become synonymous with a vast over abundance of shoe stores.   Should all shoe stores be forced to close and give their stock without charge to the inhabitants of the country, every person would be ten pair of shoes to the better.

Sadly the fashion of these shoes is regrettably Asian.  Shoes made by the same culture that thinks multicolored lights within a mouse which twinkle incessantly does not make the sort of unobtrusive goods I prefer.  Not being a teenage girl nor redneck, these sorts of overenthusiastic products are made to attract attention.

Better if my shoes made no sort of statement than quiet and competent.  Gaudiness pulls attention from where I'd prefer it - my face and my words just as the  overenthusiastic mouse draws attention from the computer screen with it's needless incessant carnival light show.

Knowing that any pair of sandals I purchased with the shoddy workmanship endemic to Asia will perish within a couple months, I went for low price and managed to ruthlessly bargain a poor lady down to $10.  Given that I may have been her only customer for the day it eludes me how she and others are able to keep their stalls open.




BOOK REVIEWS

John Keegan, "Winston Churchill - A Life".

Long have I had an abiding interest in Winston Churchill.  Arguably the greatest Englishman ever and certainly one of the most determined people to have lived.  Long conversations chiding my friend Matt Lunn that he wasn't nearly as cool as Winston Churchill come to mind.  His retort that I wasn't all that cool fell of deaf ears as I wasn't even English.

Reading this book helped dispel some of the illusions about W.S.  He was a great man - but a deeply flawed.  He was extremely smart but prone to many poor choices.

Overall, an excellent book.  It was detailed without becoming dull.  Unlike some of the other biographies of W.S. I've read this one kept things moving along at a fast enough clip you could listen to it without either nodding off or slitting your wrists.



Stephen Fry "Moab is My Washpot"

Prior to listening to this, I only had three thoughts on Stephen Fry:

1.  He is a 'treasure of England'.  This is the guy whose sonorous voice did the wildly money generating 'Harry Potter' audio books.  And, he just seems to be a 'treasure of England' though I'm sure that many people - including Stephen Fry - may disagree with that.

2.  He is a very smart person.  I've seen him on QI - 'Quite Interesting'.  I know that they feed him a lot of the answers and such via an ear piece, but this guy strikes me as very smart indeed.

3.  He is funny and has been in several comedy TV shows and movies.

After listening to the first twenty years of his life in autobiographical terms, my opinion of him is the same as of Winston Churchill after listening to a biography of him.  Both men are deeply flawed individuals, very human and it would be very nice to know them personally.  They are interesting people.

As to the book itself, Mr. Fry is very easy to listen to.  Much of what he says is interesting though he goes off onto huge tangents and a bit of rambling.  Since it is his autobiography, I feel he is allowed to do so.  Glad I heard it though it won't become something like the Discworld  series that I like to listen to again after a period of time has passed.


The Fry Chronicles - an Autobiography

This book picks up where 'Moab' leaves off and covers the next decade.

Although it is an interesting look into the rapid catapulting into fame, it wasn't as endearing as Moab.  Also, he makes  quick reference to many names, businesses, products and such that - not being English - I've never heard of.  For his countrymen, these probably bring a quick whiff of memory.  For foreigners, they become tedious lists of no consequence to the overall narrative.

Interesting but not as poignant as Moab.


Stuff White People Like


Currently listening to the book "Stuff White People Like".  As the philosopher Homer Simpson once said "It's funny because it's true."

They even covered an experience I've noted earlier in my blog about how upset other white people get when they are traveling abroad, in an obscure place and spot a fat white guy lounging around.  Since this destroys both their 'unique experience' as well as the 'authenticity' and they no longer feel like some sort of explorer, they become sad and upset.

Wack jobs.

The book itself is ironic and humorous.  Reading it immediately brings to mind many people who are white and middle class I know.  Disturbingly, I myself have done many of the things listed there.

More disturbingly, various directors and such listed are completely unfamiliar.

I don't feel like I am being a good white person.  I didn't even get a liberal arts degree.

I recommend this audio book.



LUMSIE STORIES (NERO LARP)

Lumsie loved the undead. Being a necromancer was great. Story: I was up at a chapter in Canada. It was dark and foggy out and all of the PC's were hiding in their cabins. "What's up?" Oh, I was told, there are loads of undead out there. We're going to stay in here till the morning. "Bugger that." So Lumsie wanders out of the warded cabin. Immediately two death knights jump out of the shadows. "Take me to your leader, beotches!" One is into it, the other makes lots of threats. I am taken to the leader. He rants about how it is his town, everyone is his subjects and he will crush everyone. Including me. Then, he asks who I am. "Brother Lumsie!" The guy playing the NPC and the NPC himself were both of one mind at this point. "Oh my god!" He gushes. "I have always wanted to meet you!" Big hand shakes and back slapping all around. Lumsie points to one of the death knights. "He was mean to me." Glower and a growled "I will deal with him...later..." The death knight shifted uneasily. I was then taken on a tour of the town and given armed death knight escort back to my cabin when tired. Upon gaining entry "Were you OK?" "Yeah", I responded. "Pretty quiet out there..."

Lumsie was hanging out in the woods.  There were half dozen ogres wandering around throwing up.  Their blood had apparently been tainted.  Tempest (Seth Warfield) wandered up and screeched in the high pitched dragon voice "Lumsie!  What happened?"  Lumsie, looking panicked said "Plague!  Real sudden like!  Best I should go!" and scurried off.  Tempest glared after Lumsie grunting "Uh huh..."


Big I'm not sure but one that comes to mind:  Lumsie has undead for parents.  'Not consorting' is simply not able to be done as it would be 'rude'.  So, it is Lumsie's birthday, Oct 31.

There were only a few people in the tavern.  Lumsie's mother (played by Amy L) - a very nasty vampire - swoops into the tavern with several minions.  Everything stops.  The people who are there are either unwilling or unable to take on this level of Fa King undead.  Plus, to do so might start a really nasty interplanular war.  They just sit, riveted to their seats.

Amy had baked me a chocolate cake.

It got very 'upper class English' after that.  "Lumsie are you being good?"  "Yes mummy!" and so on.

She would alternatively threaten and speak at the other people in the tavern.  Whenever she had her back turned, I stuffed as much of the chocolate cake into my mouth as possible.  When she looked back, sit up straight and attentive - with huge chunks of chocolate cake falling out of my mouth.

She utterly failed to notice - by design is my guess since my face looked like I'd eaten out a chocolate golem.

"Yes mummy!" I'd say in stereotypical upper crust English to whatever question she had or statement she made then back to the face stuffing.

The thing I remember most about that whole scene was the frozen looks on the witnesses faces, halfway between humor and horror.  It was a nice birthday for Lumsie.