DON'T DO WHAT DONNY DON'T DOES

MO' RESEARCH

In case you wanted to do what Donny Don't Does...

If you want to find out exactly what I think of research, take a look at the previous blog.  I spell it out there.  Within this blog, you will find yet more research - as well as some other tidbits.

Fear not though - there is some non research stuff within this blog!



HAT YAI - THAILAND

This name has potential to be funny but I'm not sure how.

Chatting with expat sex tourists, it seems I'm only getting two weeks for land crossing into Thailand.  Probably due to expat sex tourists.  Interestingly, the airport visas are still a month and the price of flying in has reportedly fallen very low.  Since I don't really care all that much about Thailand, two weeks should suffice.  Personally, I think they are cutting their own throats limiting people who aren't trying to live there - but nobody cares what I think.

Well, it's not like I get proved wrong often.

Fortunately, according to this website, the train depot here is 'Thailand's only international train station'.

Dealing with transport schedules

An interesting hidden nugget from wikitravel states:

"The Jungle Railway is the apt description for the eastern line between Tumpat (close to the Thai border) and Gemas, including stops at Gua Musang, Kuala Lipis, Jerantut (for Taman Negara National Park) and Wakaf Bahru (for Kota Bharu and the Perhentian Islands). The original "Jungle Train" is the slow daytime service which stops at every station (every 15-20 min or so). It's 3rd class only, meaning no air-con and no reservations, and some stops may be lengthy as it's a single line and all other trains have priority - hence the "Jungle Train" waits in side loops along the way so that oncoming or overtaking trains can pass. Tourists may use this service to travel to Some find it to be a fascinating and stunningly scenic ride; others feel there's not much to see when you're in the jungle. Eastern line night trains (for which reservations are possible and recommended) also have 2nd class berths and seats, and some have 1st class sleepers too."


Important note:

Kuala Lumpur - unless you're on the direct night train, you'll have to change at Gemas to reach KL.



THROUGH MALAYSIA

The Jungle Line.  I found a video on what to expect.  Looks good to me!

Note that taking a train ride through a jungle appeals to me a lot more than walking or paddling through a jungle.  Been there, done that before.  Old and crippled now, not really up for doing a Bear Grylls.

...and later - because all of the information is NOT in one easy to find place (like it is here, you lucky people) the 'Seat 61' website told me this:

"Engineering work on the Jungle Line: The Gemas to Gua Musang part of the Jungle Line is set to be closed in the middle of the day for repairs from August 2014 for possibly up to 2 years. This means there will be no daytime shuttle trains south of Gua Musang during the day as there would normally be. The timetable below will apply from 15 August 2014 onwards. Flood damage on the Jungle line in 2015: In December 2014 the line was blocked by floods, it may take many months to restore services. Please check the KTM website."

Not sure if any intelligence on this can be gleaned from Hat Yai.  I'm sure it could from Khota Bharu but once in Hat Yai you have to make a choice of which railway to go on - east or west.  If the daytime jungle rail is down for maintenance then there isn't any reason to head that way.

As you can see from the map from 'the Man in Seat 61' (go buy his t-shirts) my choices are either the lightning round (headed for the 'Jungle Line') or the big blue arrow which eventually heads toward Kuala Lumpur aka KL - one of the hubs of the world.

And there is the town of Butterworth.  Of course, this is what I imagine is there.  I might be off a bit but remain cautiously optimistic.



WHERE TO GO IN MALAYSIA

After a little bit of research, I found some places that might be good to check out in Malaysia.

The places with red lines under them and corrected spelling.  Interesting that most of them are on the West Coast.  Not sure what I'd actually be able to hit if I ended up doing the 'Jungle Train', which still seems intriguing.

From the looks of it, I might head down to Georgetown (which I can pronounce) and Ipoh.  Which shall be pronounced as "I poo".  Funny.

Fortunately, I remembered to look at my blog.  Turns out I've been to Malacca and didn't care enough about it to even remember it.  Fortunately, that place is down past Georgetown and into Ipoh.

Or is it 'Pooh'?  This picture is dedicated to Chris C.  One of his nicknames is 'Pooh'.

Note - to get to Georgetown you have to go through Butterworth and get the ferry.  It honestly looks like a pain in the ass but Butterworth has no real tourist infrastructure.



THE BIG ISLAND THINGEE

It's the one in the middle...

After the Jungle Railway, it appears the coastal town you end up in is Johor-Bahru.  How to get from there to the big island thingee.

Note:  Someone else just told me the big island thing was expensive.  Going to do research on that first - if affordable, I can figure out how to get there.

After doing some research on Borneo (aka 'big island thingee') it seems to come in three flavors:

a) expensive
b) trekking through remote mosquito infested jungles
c) fucking nothing to do and towns not worth writing about

So that is three flavors of 'nope'.

And too are these potato chips.  What the fuck has been going on there since I left?

Time to check out the other islands in Indonesia and see what I want to hit.



FERRY MAP OF MALAYSIA AND INDONESIA

Makes me think

One problem I'm running into is that Indonesia is frigging huge, and the visa is only thirty days long.  And they have some complicated crap which might kick in that I won't bore you with.   Not sure if they really check 'proof of onward travel' for land (or train) crossings but we'll see.

See the stars?

Following the stars (see above map) is tempting.  It would give me a neat (though not complete) swath of Indonesia.  However, Sumatra (red island) is some hard travel.  Amazingly rough, hard travel.  And there are also places I'd like to just go hang out at there such as O'ong's place.  Read this review.  Imagine spending a month there learning to SCUBA dive.  Yeah.  That sounds sexy to me too.  Heck, since I couldn't afford to drink there (yeah, Muslim country) theoretically, it would give me more money for diving.

But then how to get over to East Timor?

I don't mind saying Malaysian Airlines does have me a bit nervous - with the planes they've been losing and crashing lately.

Unless...

...it gives me a cheaper fare!


Lets worry about having my body get permanently lost by M.A. later.  To start with, I need to get into the country.  Once in, I can fly around like a freak.  Note that later, I will compare costs by looking up flying in and out again.

The main - and possibly only - ferry goes from Port Klang (port for KL) to an extremely seedy shithole called 'Dumai'.  The place comes with more warnings than lawn darts.

I do really miss Jarts.  And not just for their power to kill and maim children!

Sadly, when I imagine something seedy it always looks like this - start :36 seconds in.

From there, it would be some hard overland travel to the northern part of the island if I wanted to just hang out for a month.  But I'm not sure about that hence I will do some research and see if I can answer the question "Where do I want to actually travel within Indonesia?"  Also, how much will it cost me to get to the next country?



PAPUA NEW GUINEA - BUSTED

Places that aren't well known to tourists can go either way.  Either rude crude but cheap places to stay or due to no 'tourist infrastructure' freakishly expensive.

After a bit of studying on PNG it turns out 'freakishly expensive' is the direction they went.

So, I could either sit in my thirty plus dollar a night hotel room and not eat anything, drink anything or go anywhere or pass.

Giving that a big pass.  I'd have been delighted to go rough it a bit there and find out what's up but I just don't have the funds.



EAST TIMOR

Since the remote Papua New Guinea had gone so poorly, it was time to check out the other remote place, Timor.

According to the valuable Wikitravel, the capital city Dili looks reasonable for food but only one place to stay as far as hostels go.  Could be a bit of a red flag but not as bad as PNG.

Nobody from East Timor has put a hostel on either hostelworld.com or hostelbookers.com.  That tells me a bit.



IN CONCLUSION

WHAT'S THE BOTTOM LINE HERE?

Here is what it seems to have shaped into:

Siem Reap (wake up at 7AM because the border is closed at night - yes, really)
Bangkok (by bus; switch to train)
Hua Hin (stay there a bit unless it sucks or is expensive)
Hat Yai (is the jungle line down?  If so,)
Penang, Butterworth (big city by bus then either ferry or bus across bridge to island)
Georgetown (stay there a bit unless it sucks or is expensive)
Ipoh (stay there a bit unless it sucks or is expensive)
Kuala Lumpur (head over to next door town, take ferry to Sumatra unless figure out better idea)

Sorry if the blog seems a bit jumpy.  It took roughly fifteen hours of research to find all of this stuff.  Much easier with the internet than travelers before had it...



LOCAL CUSTOMS  [ON THE FOURTH DAY OF CHINESE NEW YEAR...   (SIEM REAP, CAMBODIA)]

Within Siem Reap, much less 'adventurous' people are traveling than ever before.  We have (other than Logan) other fat people, old people, parents with kids - hell I've even seen parents lugging around a 'special needs' kid.

Siem Reap has clearly become more 'main stream'.

They had their big parade today - the fourth (?) day of Chinese New Year.  Some notes I recorded follow:

Pre-recorded cheering - if you hear this you are clearly at an awesome event.  Despite people just standing there like statues wondering if it will get better, you get to hear mad cheering!

People collecting for 'good causes'.  I've always wondered about the percentage of money which goes to a 'good cause' as opposed to 'is collected'.  They had white guys and locals out collecting from the parade audience.  If I really wanted to help the locals, I'd feed them for awhile - not just give money.  I know how many people in Asia operate when given money and it is 'spend it all fast'.

They played music which to western ears (or at least mine) can best be described as 'grating'.  Lots of drums going on because people love to hit things with sticks.  Preteen.  Here is a sample.

Pre-recorded music because even the low quality of music produced in this country is 'hard'.

"Y" shaped sticks.  These confused me a bit initially.  Perhaps they are some hold over from an ancient native religion?  No.  They are to push the banners which hang over the streets out of the way so their floats can fit through.

Even the Khmer I spoke with didn't know what they were for...

It amazes me how many foreigners (non-Cambodian) were there trying to direct their Cambodian counterparts on things like 'flap the dragon wings thus'.  Perhaps in this country they feel they'd do best under white leadership.  Sigh.

As in every westernized country, half the people were looking through devices rather than with their eyes.  Because hey, that's how you see things these days.

They had a fire juggler who was doing four brands.  Anyone who says 'they can juggle' and does three - that just means you have decent coordination.  Four or more is the 'money shot'.

One acrobat, half dozen floats, two drummers - you can tell it ended when the regular traffic flowed in and backed up.

Typical float

The Feast of the Flaming Tiger

By tradition, young Cambodian men dress in outlandish garb and play loud drums as they dance throughout the streets to drive off evil spirits.  This so enrages the residents of the street, they would set Bali Tigers on fire and throw them at the young men.

There were many deaths every year until the 1950's when the Bali Tigers finally became extinct.  Unfortunately, the end of World War 2 also saw a lot of military surplus fall into the hands of civilians.  Instead of hurling flaming tigers at the young men, they would use flame throwers.

This had the unfortunate but inevitable consequence of burning down several villages made from corrugated metal, rotten wood held together with seaweed and snot.

Many Cambodians wished to use tigers native to Cambodia but sadly only about thirty exist.  Hence, the festival was updated to using conversationalists lit on fire and thrown at the noisy young men as they paraded loudly through the streets.  Although hundreds of conversationalists die every year, it is estimated that unless the festival is expanded their numbers will eventually displace native Cambodians.

In reality, as the wrap up for Chinese New Year in Cambodia, a group of perhaps a dozen young men with dragon suits, drums and symbols go to affluent businesses to 'bless' them. Presumably, they are finished blessing them when given enough money to move along. I just like my version better.

Yes, I realize that some people reading this may be heart broken that the 'intrigue and mystery' of the Asian culture is ruthlessly stripped away by Logan's version of 'seeing stuff for what it is' - not through a haze of 'well I paid a lot to get here and so I am ruthlessly disposed to enjoying this vacation regardless of what reality says' as I've seen so many tourists and travel writers display.



TRAVELER'S TIP

This is a picture of someone who left their computer 'just for a second' while they went off to the bathroom.

This device is worth several months pay to each of the people pictured in the background - and it is casually left on a table.

If you leave your stuff lying around and it gets stolen, tourists should have to claim "I donated it because I am stupid".  Instead, they will make it sound like they were pick pocketed - for insurance and not to sound as dumb as they are.

Note:  I have no sympathy for the stupid.

WHERE 'WHY NOT' TAKES US

LETTER TO MY MOM

Given how much stuff I write for this blog and having written four books in the past, it is still difficult to write to my parents.

I've never been close to them and it doesn't seem any of their offspring are.  They have always had their own life which they lived and were never much interested in my hobbies when they went outside of what kids 'should' be interested in - sports and the like.

Having met many people who exhibit a strong bond to their parents they are always confused when my bond - and even interaction with them - is about the same as if they were long dead.

However, they are still on the planet and married as I write this - both seventy five (and seventy seven?) years old.   When I was a kid, there were few things as scandalous as 'divorce'.  Like being caught with drugs it just didn't happen.  Smoking, drinking and slapping your wife and kids around was far more acceptable.

It was a different time and one which many people show a lot of nostalgia for.  And they call me 'strange'.

Because my father knows I (and perhaps my brothers - I've never asked) have no idea of any of the special dates for the family, he wrote me to tell me it was my sick, aging mom's birthday.  I wrote her a letter for it.

Because this is one of those great pieces of literature which would cause Hemingway to rip off his shirt and insist on drinking rum with me I thought to reproduce it here for posterity.



Hope your birthday is pain free for you.


Not much is happening with me.  I am back in Cambodia hanging out for a month or so.

The few sidewalks they have are used for displaying merchandise, parking and such.  Normally, you walk on the sides of the streets attempting to avoid injury from the chaotic low speed traffic.

Often you get mugged by the smell of rotting eggs causing you to gag from the ill built sewers.

Imagine a wildly unsafe four seated wagon hooked to the back of a motorcycle.  This is called a tuk tuk ("took took").  Anyone with one constantly cries 'tuk tuk!' at you to attempt to badly lure you into the back of theirs so they can make a dollar or two from you.  Women at massage parlors call 'massage' in primitive English for the same reason.  Dirty and poor women wander around with empty baby bottles attempting to beg money from tourists presumably for 'milk for the baby'.  Many tourists don't realize the babies are often rented from others to make the begging con complete.

The Cambodian national dish is called 'amok'.  Fish stew.  Since I hate fish and have always been suspicious of soups and stews as well as the water used to make them, I stick to the more expensive foreign restaurants.

They have only two seasons here, wet and dry.  There is no relief from the dust during the dry season which is what I'm in now.  During the wet season only a couple hours of hard rain per day fall.  Though it is arguably a better time to visit, tourists mistakenly believe it continuously rains.

In the cheap hotels and hostels, you can get quite a reasonable room with a mini fridge and desk at a decent price.  This is all I really need as I spend a lot of time at my computer when not out wandering around.

This is one of my favorite towns within SE Asia.


As I grow older, thoughts about mortality often cross my mind.

Given the type of lifestyle I had, reaching age twenty five was quite a shock.  Given the state my body is in reaching the age of sixty would feel quite the cosmic betrayal.  Even given my life is now of extreme interest to me another decade upon this rock would probably be more than enough unless I got a new body out of it.

Don't think that will happen.


Given that you always ask me if I am healthy and happy I will answer 'reasonably so'.

I hope you are at least happy if not healthy.

Logan


And there you have it.  A rather stilted letter to someone who is almost a stranger to me.   Normally, thoughts of my parents and family are far from my mind - pushed out by more immediate sensation.

For those who are close to their families, here is a view from 'the other side of the spectrum'.



SPREAD THE WORD ABOUT LOGAN

If you know anyone else who would enjoy my Facebook feed, tell them to friend me!

Why?

Due to the excessive old age (read as 'imminent death') of my parents (read as 'stuck with son duty as I was not hatched despite reports to the contrary') I will eventually be passing back through the states in probably 1-2 years.

I'd love to do another combination of Logan's Home Invasion (LHI) part 2 and hitting various NERO events.

A big problem for people outside of the Virginia/Michigan/Colorado/Illinois states is quite frankly, I don't know enough people in others to make it 'economically viable' to visit other states.

If I knew enough people in all the states believe me I'd love to do a massive tour of the states.  If I know one or two people in a state (*even if they want to put me up for a week*) my thought is "I can't afford to stay there".

It's all about money and time = slow trickle of money.

If I was a lot more witty and famous I'd just rent a big RV, hire a couple drivers I liked and cruise the states to visit everyone.  That would be awesome.

But I'm just not that cool.

So - if you want me to visit your state and you're not in one of the four I listed earlier, now is the time to get other people interested in my blog and so on.  I'm looking for people I can stay with.

I get a lot of offers for 'hey, I'll take you out to dinner'.  That is great if I've got someone else to stay with but otherwise it just doesn't help.

If you have questions let me know.

If I can get enough people in your state (who want to drop me off to the next one in line and so on) I'd love to come have some drinks with you and sleep on your couch.



UNUSUAL DAY

It's always interesting to find out where 'why not' will take you.

Not a lot of people go with it - they have 'reasons' why they don't.  Usually fear.

The day started early - about ten or elevenish when I was headed downstairs to go find some coffee.

There were about a dozen somber looking men in a guests room along with the owner of the hostel.  One of the somber men seemed to be reading a prepared statement off a piece of paper.

My first thought was cops.

After they tried the 'move along' thing on me (didn't work) it did indeed turn out to be police.  I asked the owner of the hostel about turning in some laundry.  He sent me down to see his wife.  Turned in the laundry and went to find coffee.

Although I didn't get the story until later, you won't have to wait.

Turns out some Dutch guy decided to go completely mental with drugs.

Normally, having a joint or two in the hostel (or somewhere discrete) won't get you into trouble.  However, he was passing out pills and downing them with alcohol out on 'Pub Street' - the main tourist area.

One of the cops took a picture of him.

At this point, you have an option - you can either pay a hundred dollar or so bribe or 'see where it goes'.

He choose poorly.

They then brought him to the jail for a bit and then a larger group of cops brought him back to the hostel.  At this point, he'd have had to bribe the larger group of cops about $500 and they wouldn't search the room and it might have all gone away -

Again, he choose poorly.

They search his room and naturally find more pot and pills.  People who want to go to foreign countries and do drugs which are illegal in them get no sympathy from me when they are caught.  None at all.  And acting stupidly and very publicly?

Now, there is evidence - lots of cops are involved.  The bribe is up to $3000.

Why go against tradition?  He choose poorly.

So they haul his dumb ass off to jail.

I go for coffee.


LOGAN GOES FOR COFFEE

There was really no good reason to make that into a separate heading, but it just sounded so dramatic I had to.

There is a restaurant very close to the hostel where I had been told a small cup of coffee was thirty five cents.  A reasonable price so I figured I'd go.

It turned out the guy who told me that didn't know the difference between 'thirty five' and 'seventy five'.  Considering it was tiny cups and not very good I don't think their coffee business is going to boom.  Remember that a draft beer is half a dollar in most bars.

While I was mulling over the coffee I was watching a guy counting up a bunch of cashey money.  My mind went back to my youth when I was in Egypt and got to meet my very first gangster.  Well, that's a lie - I'd met them before but it sounded better.  I remember it well - he had a bunch of cronies and a table full of cash with more being brought to him as the day progressed.

Turns out this guy wasn't a gangster but a fixer.



WHAT IS A FIXER?

I'd been asked about this on Facebook so I figured I'd include the term here for those who don't use a lot of 'street speak'.

My favorite definition comes from the old Cyberpunk game, though it is still a 'street' term used today.

Their definition includes ' Deal makers, smugglers, organizers, and information brokers '.

Depending on the type of fixer, they may range from totally legal to totally black market though most are well into the 'grey' market. Which can range from either handling a variety of legal and illegal goods (hence averaging at grey) or grey could mean goods which are 'kind of illegal' or 'legal in some places but not in others' etc. This guy did everything from give people rides, organize doctors to meet particular patients, pick up special fruit, etc. He is a busy guy.

Although they do have this occupation in 'developed' countries it is much more rare than in places where the laws are 'fast and loose'.

There are also general types of fixers as well as ones who only specialize in one sort of thing.  The best ones can - with enough cash - get you any item or any person with a certain set of skills you need on short notice.

Just to be clear, a fixer is not necessarily a smuggler.  They might do some smuggling or even employ a smuggler but it is not required for the job.  As stated earlier, their jobs may be entirely legal.


MR NGOG

[Disclaimer - not sure how to spell his name and it sounds like I've spelled it so I'm sticking with that for now.]

Really nice guy.  He told me he was counting out some of his money from dealing in cosmetics but he was also going to be starting a hotel in the area.

He asked my advice on aspects of the hotel.  Though I am no expert on running a hotel, I've stayed in enough of them to know what features I want to see in one.  He seemed very pleased with my answers.

Did I want to go see his hotel?

This is the point I hesitated for a bit.  The point where you use your training (if you have any training) in people and assess the situation.  Most people don't have any actual training, go with their gut and wind up dead in a ditch still not wanting to admit they are dumbasses.  But I looked at the situation and said,

"Why not?"

Let's see where 'why not' takes us.

We went to his under construction hotel.  I made observations and suggestions, he took notes and talked to his people.

Note that I do not expect him to follow all of my ideas - I was merely trying to give him some ideas he could choose from.  Be useful.

Apparently, he really liked my suggestions.

Not long after that, we were at a very expensive resort and he was buying lunch for myself and some of his friends from the initial restaurant.  I don't remember the name of the place but rooms start at $100 per night and go up from there.  It's often baffled me why people stay at places like that even if they can afford them - you really don't get even a taste of the country you are in.  And the location is pretty remote.

As he was taking me back to where he'd discovered me, he asked if I'd like to have dinner at his Cambodian families' (he is Thai) house tonight.

"Sure, why not!"

I consulted with the owner of the hostel as to what I should bring for a dinner gift.  Although I know the universal answer is always 'a small box of slightly expensive sweets', I figured I'd go with what he told me.  Here, I learned, they either bring food or beer.

Why not.

I stopped next door and bought an eleven dollar case of beer of the brand suggested.  I don't really know anything about what sort of food they wanted and I haven't seen any suitable sweets in the store.

Note, the sweets would have probably gone over better.

It ended up being a very nice dinner.

Turns out that the family not only were close friends with Mr. Ngog, but they own a huge hotel and are one of the richest and most influential families in Siem Reap.  He does the licensing for the government.

This is my 'how did I get together with the movers and shakers' picture

The person who prepared the food was another friend of Mr. Ngog's who may end up working for this family.  It's the first meal I ever had prepared by an actual gourmet.  Not even exaggerating.

Although I don't eat seafood, even I can see the artistry.

Most of the feast laid out with the chef in the background

After eating, I told my hosts I was depressed because that was probably the best meal I'd ever have in Asia.  No exaggeration.

After a lovely meal, Mr. Ngog borrowed the families government plated vehicle ("I never get stopped in this car!") and drove me back to my hostel.

It was a great night.

There was some talk by the family they might have me come out to take a look at their hotels and give recommendations.  As with Mr. Ngog, I don't expect any sort of payment but I'm betting it will be an interesting story to tell.



PRICES

Massage, per ten minutes $1

Bottle of alcohol, around $10/liter

Meal in Pub Street, Siem Reap:  If you are eating for under $5, it is probably crap.  The average meal is $5 to $9.

CHANGES WITHIN CAMBODIA

UPCOMING PLANS

For some odd reason, I woke up at 7:30 AM.  Fought to get back to sleep and failed.  Guessing it may be excitement for heading to a different country.  This sometimes happens.  Pain in the ass.

The plan for those who are curious:

Tomorrow, Guy is taking me to a train that goes to the airport here in Johannesburg.  We are to arrive there by 6 PM.  The train shouldn't take too long.

Once I get to the airport, I'm going to wait around for a few hours.  Only fools don't arrive plenty early for international flights.

The plane will then take me to Bangkok.   There is a shuttle from the new airport to the old one I must take.  It's free!

Rather than blow a bunch of money (up to $50) for a place to stay connected to the airport, I'm just going to crash in the airport for about twenty four hours.  It's not fun but that's just how the flights go.

Fortunately, I remembered to check that the airports are both open 24 hours a day.  They aren't in some countries in order to drive out the riff raff.

Yes, I realize I may be part of the riff raff.

After a long assed wait in the airport, I fly to Cambodia.  Back to Siem Reap.  Assuming my usual hotel will give me my usual rate, I'll probably hang out there for a month - the normal visa time.  Plus, that is long enough for that town.  Going to eat a lot of cheap Mexican(ish) and Indian food.  Buy some extra cheap ear buds.

After that, I'm really not sure where to head.  Might do some research on various ferries that go to different countries.  While the ferries are pretty dangerous, they seem safer than any flight out of Malaysia - where they have trouble keeping track of the planes.

I'd like to head back to Dani's Home Stay in Indonesia (beautiful place).

Need to research several new (to me) countries to see if they are affordable and such such as Singapore, Timor, Papua New Guinea and Korea.

Use to live in Korea decades ago (still speak some Korean!) and would like to eat a bunch of Korean food.  Good stuff.

Other than that, I'm not sure what else will come about in Asia.  My goal is to stay there for say 15 months.  By the time I'm ready to move out I'd like to be past the nasty winter.

We'll see how that goes.



JUGGER

This is the best thing I found out about in South African NERO.

Here is a video of the sport:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9Zg_aEPME4&feature=youtu.be

Here are the rules:  https://www.teana.co.za/DownloadFiles/Teana%20-%20Jugger.pdf

This is an excellent sport.  As you can see in the video, there are several men and women who like to play it and can compete on a very equal field.  It doesn't require much in the way of props either.  In addition to two sets of short swords, two handed swords and sword/shield, you need a skull and two goal things.  The only other things not really seen in the video is a steel hammer and some large steel thing that is hit at a beat per couple seconds rhythm throughout the game.  If you listen carefully you can hear it behind the music in the video.  Everyone would need either matching t-shirts or tabbards as well.

This is a sport that if people try it out in NERO (in the USA) I'm convinced it will catch on.  It's quite tactical and fun to play and even fun to watch.  (In the video I am the fat guy with the light blue bandanna).

If this catches on as I hope it will in the USA, I could even see NERO chapters having their own jugger teams and challenging other NERO chapters to matches.  This could be big.

[For anyone who cares about such things, I've been told this game originally comes from an old movie called 'Blood of Heroes'.  It may even be played within some other LARPs but I've not seen it at NERO in my over a decade of NERO.  Nor heard of it there.]

My thanks to NERO South Africa (Teana) for introducing me to this very interesting game within NERO!

Note:  Yes, I am aware of the movie it came from.

Note:  Yes, I am sure they play it plenty in other LARPs.  However, in close on two decades of NERO, I've not heard about it.  Neither in the game or in monitoring other chapters boards.  Hence, I discount reports of 'oh, we play it'.  Clearly not enough if it doesn't even make your chapter board.



SWITCHING CONTINENTS

When the time to leave South Africa drew closer, one question I was often asked is "Will you return to South Africa?"

My life is very strange.  Honestly, I can't answer that.

A better question would be "Do you have any desire to ever return to South Africa?"

Mixed feelings there.

Like every other country, there are upsides and downsides to South Africa.

The downsides include feeling like you're living inside of a prison, the $1200 price tag to go there and get back out again, etc.  The upsides include getting to hang out with some really great people.

Hence, I don't know.  If a good enough external reason presents itself, it is possible.



BAG WEIGHTS

Big bag, 14 KG.  The little bag with just the computer shit, 9 KG.

How about that?



WELCOME TO THAILAND, BITCHES

The sources I read on how to get the free shuttle from the new airport to the old were only mostly correct.

For anyone who wants to do it, exit through door 3 (NOT 2) and look immediately to your right.  It's a full sized big white bus.  Good news, the airports are the only stops.


Coming from the UAE there was absolutely no question of 'proof of onward travel' despite many web pages saying Thailand demands this.


Don Muang (old airport) actually kind of sucks to 'bed down' in.  If you need to, I'd suggest hanging out in the new airport then when the time for your flight approaches, catch the free shuttle over there.

While the old airport does indeed have Krispy Creame, McDonalds, Dairy Queen and Subway those are all after passport control.  You can't even get in to the airport proper until six hours before your flight and the good area about three hours before your flight.  Until these times, you stay in the sucky area with shitty restaurants charging $15 for meals they can't even make look appetizing on their own menus.


Playing the "Jason Bourne" game - ie having currency from various different countries - is really neat when you head back to one you actually have the correct currency for.  The rest of the time it is a pain in the ass.


Despite the numerous signs saying that carry on luggage for Air Asia is limited to 7 KG, the check in guy was much more lenient about it.  He encouraged me to keep the cabling with the computer despite it possibly pushing the weight past it's limit.  Not that anyone ever weighed any of the check in bags.  This is a big difference from Ryan Air (the European discount airlines) which only allows you one bag and is ready to charge you more at any time.

Air Asia priority seating, from left to right:  Mummies, old people, people in wheel chairs, pregnant or fat people wearing dresses, people wearing dresses with a monkey lodged in their chest.

BACK IN CAMBODIA AGAIN

Imagine if you will, Logan on heavy sleep deprivation.  Haven't slept more than an hour or two at any one time for the last day or two.  What do you do?

Go drinking, of course.

After getting a kind of shitty hostel, my first stop was to go to Viva Mexican restaurant.

Viva Viva!

They sell a 'bucket' (not a bucket but a half liter glass) of margaritas for $5.  Snagged that up immediately.

While I was drinking, a man with a whiny voice was attempting to grill a waiter on what kind of oil they use to cook with.  He then demanded to speak with the manager about it.  This is the kind of normally powerless twit that isn't really tough enough to go travel.  How he wandered into a third wold country is a mystery.  Hopefully, he won't survive it.



"LUCKY" MAN

After arriving at the airport, I ignored the taxis and headed out to the street to grab a tuk tuk.  They cost less than half.

During the negotiation for the tuk tuk, I mentioned I'd spent a lot of time in country.  Rather than the tourist rip off price, they started at $6.  I haggled down to $5.  If you don't haggle you're either rich or an idiot but most often both.

As we were headed in to the city itself, I reflected at how cool it would be to know hundreds of cities so well all over the world...

I didn't really know the city so well as I'd hoped.

Gone.

My beautiful hotel, gone.  The one which gave me a great room for just $10 per night.  The hotel where I'd bribed the people I'd interacted with.  The people who - last time I was in town treated me like a VIP.

Fucking gone.

New hotel at double the price with the same rooms.  None of the old staff.

Well, fuck that.

The tuk tuk driver took me to about five other places which were actually kind of crappy.  Eventually, I shocked him by giving him an extra five dollars and thanking him for his time.

He called me "Lucky man" because everything was either fully booked, over priced or just sucked.

After checking into a crappy room, I went looking and within an hour found one which gave me an air conditioned room for $12.  Close enough.

Note that most AC rooms are $15 to $20.  The people will tell you there are none cheaper.

They are full of shit.

After checking in, heading to the Mexican restaurant, staggering around for a couple (or few) hours and hitting a bar for a couple quick beers, I eventually decided on a quick nap.

Out like a light for twelve hours.

Twelve.

Sure, teenagers and people bored with their lives can sleep that long but I wanted to go do things and look around.

Like a light.

After waking up, I switched hotels to the one I'd found after sending the tuk tuk driver off.

For some reason, I always have better luck doing these things myself.


The next day, I headed back to my normal stomping grounds near the 'Old Market'.  Found a restaurant which use to be my old breakfast nook.  The owner and his wife still remember me there and were very happy to see me again.

Gossiping with them revealed that the new martial rule in Thailand (where they are actually enforcing the laws now) has been excellent business for Cambodia.  All of the people who were living illegally in Thailand doing 'border runs' to update their visa now have to go actually live for a time in a different county.  This has caused quite an up swell of business in Cambodia.  Also, the possibility of some new EU Asian style has a lot of stuff being built.

Before Anne Rice lost a love one, went crazy and returned to religion (death doesn't become her it seems) she reportedly did things like sleep in coffins to try to 'get into the mind' of vampires.

I do this by just wandering around.

I think vampires would often be depressed at how much areas have changed.  The places they love and the people they knew are always gone.

Boy, that sucks.  Hell, it's been only a year and a half or so since I was here and everything is changing.


The tourist age varies wildly from really young looking kids up to old folks trying to see the world before they die.  Most tourists I've been told stay in Siem Reap from 1-3 days.  Honestly, if all you are coming to do is see Angkor Wat that's probably enough time though the town is not bad.


Reminder - if you decide to head to Angkor Wat, be sure to watch the movie Tomb Raider before you go.  Despite the movie being made as recently as 1991, nobody seems to have heard of it now.  It's always fun to see things you've just seen in the movies.


All of these changes here make me wonder if Burma (now called Myanmar) might be good to head to.  Get that 'unspoiled' thing.  I'm still worried about the currency issue though.  Take in all of the money you will need in perfect condition because there are no ATMs.



THE GREAT ATM HUNT

Nasty shock today.  Tried five ATM's.  No money.

Did they charge my credit card and not give me any money?  Is it a repeat of Central America?

No.

They may have been just out of money.

Yes, this is the kind of country that kind of shit happens in.  Well, it is Sunday...

Fortuitously, the ATM right across the street from the hostel I'm in worked.  It stiffed me for $10 of charges but it worked.  The ATM charges are fixed in this country.  Regardless of the amount you take out, the charges are always the same.  Hence, it is an IQ test.  Do you take out 'just what you need'?  If so, you lose more money.


So what am I doing tonight?

Bottle of rum and movies.



PRICES

Tuk tuk into the famous Angkor Wat, $15 to $20 depending what you want to see.

Winston Lights (cigarettes, pack of 20), .70 (cents)

Big bottle of Glenlivets (whiskey), $12

Can of Coca Cola Light, .60 ($11 by the case)

Can of beer, .60 ($11 by the case)

Bottle of Cuapupo Gold Rum, $9

CAMBODIA TO GEORGIA

LEAVING SIEM REAP

The torrential rains of the night before seem to have mostly drained away.

I arrived about forty minutes early to the bus station.  The people at the Siem Reap hotel I'd been staying were very sad to see me go.

Even at 7:20 AM, the day was getting very sweaty.

An Aussy dressed in poofy pants, a cowboy hat and a bed sheet in place of a sheet met me at the bus station.  His name was Joey and I spoke with him a bit as we went.  When asked about the bed sheet, he explained that all of his shirts had gotten wet in the previous nights downpour and it was the only dry thing he had to wear.   Instead of purchasing extra shirts as he had intended, he got drunk and bought three different hammocks.  Funny ole world...    



ONE NIGHT IN BANGKOK - AGAIN

It was a dark and stormy night when I finally arrived in Bangkok.

During the storm, Joey wanted to hang out under an awning.  Since I was getting soaked along with my gear it became time to part company.  The bindle was getting heavier and heavier as it absorbed more water.

After diving into an Indian restaurant to eat the best mutton curry ever, I bargained down a tuk tuk from his wildly optimistic 500 THB to 300 THB and took the uncomfortable ride to the Sukhimvit district.   Because of the rain and the time of night, I'd considered just staying in the Khao San Road area.  On their price cards, they usually have one reasonably priced 'simple' room and several other very high priced options.  The 'simple rooms' - if they ever really existed - are always full.

Stopping twice to argue with the tuk tuk driver that he should actually take me to my destination rather than dropping me off in the middle of nowhere and one other time so he could ask someone more competent where it actually was that he claimed to know, I got dropped off at the hostel.

This is the same hostel I had met two people I'd seen in different parts of the world.  Yes, I met someone else I'd seen in a different part of the world there.  Kind of an interesting vibe to that place.

The hostel was - with three notable exceptions - filled with the usual foreigners who liked to alternate between partying hard and sleeping.

Two of the exceptions were an old couple staying at the hostel.  Possibly in their eighties, I thought they were someone's grandparents who were meeting them at a hostel.  They said they had been vacationing and staying at hostels for the last four decades.  Their only complaint was that the young people pretty much ignored them.

Ignoring the old couple, I went to bed early.

Since I knew the partiers would be inconsiderate and definitely wouldn't be carrying flashlights, I just left the light on when I went to sleep.  Easier.

The air conditioner was blasting cold enough it gave me a new cough for a couple days.  Despite that, my body was still hot in that room.  Odd.  I punished the young people by sleeping only in my underwear.  They avoided me after that.

The next day, I awoke early and talked to the third exception at hostel.  He  was an old redneck named Mike.  He has inoperable lung cancer and a two pack a day habit.  He spoke of perhaps quitting smoking.  Since the doctors told him he only had six months to live I said "Smoke up.  Enjoy your remaining time how you want."  He had come to Thailand to live on a beach till death takes him.  That way, he can enjoy himself and not be a burden to his family.

Sounds like a plan to me.

We talked about having both served in the same town in Korea although a decade apart.

After that, I took my leave of him and headed to the airport.

On the way, a couple cops told me to go stand over there, possibly due to my jaywalking.  They were then distracted by several other people jaywalking.  During their distraction, I wandered off.  I didn't feel like paying bribes to the police just then.

After a couple blocks, I recalled I'd left one of my locks attached to an empty locker.  Didn't feel like going back to see if the police were upset with my earlier disappearance and reasoned that buying a new lock would be cheaper than buying two cops.

Off to the airport.

Arrived eight hours before my flight, five hours before I could have even checked in.  Some people would say I could have left my bag at the hostel and gone around Bangkok.  Been there so often there is absolutely nothing I want to do.

The big back is up to 17.9 KG.  Possibly something to do with the new business cards printed in Cambodia.

The Bangkok airport has one of those new 'controversial but accepted because we are more scared of terrorists than keeping our rights' body scanners at the airport.

As readers know, I wear a couple of pouches inside my shirt for money and ID's.  They insisted I put the pouches through the xray machine.  Despite the machine being able to see through my clothing to look at my pathetic little cock, they wanted my security pouches off.

I stripped off my shirt and the pouches and dumped all of that into the xray machine.  Going through dressed in only my shorts, I raised my hands and said "If you need to frisk me I totally understand and am happy to comply."

The Thais stared in horror as the waves of fat rippled like currents in the sea.

A couple other tourists goggled at me and I said "Yeah, they're a bit strict on their security here...  It's almost as bad as in the USA.  At least here I don't have to get naked and have a cavity search!"

My goods were quickly returned aside from a bottle of water and my beloved mosquito killing device.  These were taken away.  Sad.

The best thing about the Bangkok airport is a cheaply priced 7-11 within the airport.  This is a good place to eat and drink while living in the airport.

If I eat fast food, I feel sick for a day afterward.  Not sure why - possibly the low food value and toxins within the food.  Despite this, I did look into the prices of Burger King at the airport.  Drink, burger and fries - $13.  Screw that.

Security and customs took about two hours.   I was told that my bag would next be seen in Istanbul.  I was hopeful.

The lady at the Malaysian Air counter interrogated me about my length of stay in Istanbul.  Started having bad flashbacks about the Philippines fiasco where I had to trash the ticket due to having no 'onward tickets'.

She seemed satisfied with my explanation I'd be taking a bus immediately out to the Republic of Georgia.  I exhaled.

While waiting on the plane, someone else got hauled off for not having 'onward ticket'.

Super.

The flight was one of those 'good news, bad news' things.  The layout of the chairs was two, aisle, five then two.  I got lucky and was in one of the two.  The bad news is that it was a 'screaming baby' flight.

During the flight, some cross eyed kid kept staring at me.  Then again, maybe he wasn't.



WELCOME TO TURKEY

Going through Turkish customs from the airport was dead easy.

I found the line marked 'visa', handed them my passport with $20 USD and got a visa.  No questions at all then a new line to get a stamp and off I went.

The airport in Istanbul is one of those which has a subway under it.  Figuring I'm eventually going to need to head back to Turkey, I hit an ATM rather than getting raped by the money changers.  Figure I'll play the Jason Bourne game with currency.  Since the ATM only gives 100 lira notes, I went to a money changer and got some change.  The currency exchange guy thought that was a good idea.

When I got down to the subway, lo, the machine accepts only 5, 10 or 20 denomination notes.  Go team.

For three lira I got a subway ticket and went ten stops to the 'autogar'.  This is the main bus depot.

When I arrived, it looked like a big open square surrounded by various transport agencies.  Like the center of a flower.  Around this like the pedals and screened by buildings are the actual buses.

Turkish for 'bus station' seems to be 'argument'.

Since plane tickets were selling in excess of 300 euros and going through either Munich Germany or Kiev and a Russian prison term for no visa bus seemed a better choice.  On the plane, a Turk was telling me that a plane would actually be the better option but it turned out he had wildly over estimated the cost of a bus ticket and horribly under estimated the cost of a plane ticket.  Bus wins.

A guy asked me where I was going then took me on a long walk to one of the sellers.  This is a mistake, I should have just sought out the Metro bus office.  Metro is a good line and cheaper than the others.  After taking me to the office the guy seemed to be expecting a tip.  I gave him 5 lira.  He grumbled but took it.  Figured that meant it was about the right amount.

While in Turkey, I couldn't find any Turks who spoke English any better than I speak Arabic, French or Korean (aka 'poorly') but due to the number who have dealings with Germany, it was again German for the win.  I was able to use that at a restaurant.  I suspect they heaped my plate a bit higher as well as forcing a free tea on me because I knew German.  Excellent.

One nice thing about the buses in Turkey is that unlike other parts of the world, they keep them quiet.  Everyone gets their own little TV and headphones.  With the exception of a couple hours near the end, no idiots played their music over the speaker.  I know we have that sort of thing where people are subjecting others to their music in public places but it is hoped that people outgrow it by the time they are done being teenagers.

For Logan, a quiet bus is a happy bus.  I can listen to my MP3's and sleep.

The Turks gave up trying to communicate to me in anything other than Turkish since I seemed to understand them.  Go go body language and voice inflection.



INTO GEORGIA

Compared to entering Turkey from the airport where the 'well heeled' (rich) guests come into the country, crossing land borders is always a bit of a 'cluster fuck'.  Daily laborers going back and forth, people hauling goods, lots of trucks, whatever.

To go through the border, we had to dismount the bus leaving our stuff.  We walked to the place to get our passports stamped out.  After getting our passports stamped (eventually) we waited for the bus to make it's way through the onslaught of trucks.  When the bus arrived, we retrieved all of our possessions so we could go through the Georgian side.  I was carefully told by a border guard who I don't think spoke English "Welcome to Georgia".  None of the Turks were told this.  Perhaps they like seeing an American passport.

If you are coming via the border from Turkey into Georgia headed to Batumi and wanted to save time, you could grab everything off of the bus immediately, walk through both borders and immediately catch a taxi.  That would save perhaps half hour to an hour.

After crossing the border, it was eight more hours (of my 26 total hour bus ride) to get to Tbilisi.  Most of the distance between Batumi and Tbilisi is twisting and winding roads.  I know they have night buses and such but no clue how anyone could sleep on them.  I'd have to be passed out from exhaustion to do so.  There are some pretty scenic parts  to see.

Having traveled without cease or shower, I got pretty ripe after three days.



ARRIVAL IN GEORGIA

What I had expected and what I got were remarkably different.

When I left, the hostel had lots of the owners (multiple owners) friends hanging out here, drinking, partying and so on.  As I understand it, the hostel is now owned by just one of the original owners.  The others have gone off to do other jobs.

There were no excited Georgians around to greet me and chat with.  I was disappointed and miss them.

There is a nice lady from South Africa named Bridget who I will be getting to know well as we'll be working closely together for several weeks.  I also got to go out to have some food and wine (very cheap at 4-5 GEL for a liter) with so I am not complaining.



TURKISH CHARACTER

Compared to SE Asia, the Turks I witnessed seemed extremely aggressive.  I'm not talking about violent or hostile but much like Indians who will cut in front of you in lines and so on.  Their body language and demeanor also seemed to suggest this.



NOTE TAKING

Whenever I pull out my notebook and take notes I get curious reactions from the natives.  Some look at me in amusement, some in amazement and some in horror as though I am making notes to pass along to the secret police on their behavior.



VALUABLE LANGUAGE TRAINING SKILLS

Turkey dubs the American movies they get.  This is why the people there don't speak much English.  Dubbing deprives people of valuable free language training as well as making the movie crappy.



REFLEXIVE ACTIONS

Do you remember when you were young and a doctor took a small hammer and hit you near your knee?  Do you remember how your foot - void of any conscious action on your part kicked him square in the testicles?  How the doctor doubled over and began to vomit?  All of these things are what I am terming 'reflexive actions'.  If you were someone like Travis and pulling out a gun and saying "Try that one more time..."

But I digress.

Reflexive actions.

The next time someone tells you there is a difference between normal heat and dry heat, the reflexive action  should be to backhand them.

Either way, you are miserable.

I've lived in Asia now for about a year and am happy to be moving on tomorrow.  I've been to 'non-hot heat' and dry heat counting at least three different deserts.

Miserable and I am tired of smelling Logan.

Tomorrow, should all go according to plan, I will spend a day in Thailand then heading back to Turkey to make the trip to Georgia.

[As a side note, the last person to slap Travis was the doctor when Travis had just been born.  Travis is still looking for him.  In the doctors defense, as all doctors dealing with newborns they say the slap on the rear is to give  them a general idea as to what they should expect form life.]



MP3 PLAYER

Mysteriously, my MP3 player began working again.  This makes me quite happy because in Siem Reap, you are given two basic Chinese knockoff choices - 2gig for $35 or 4gig for $45.  This seems a fairly unreasonable price to me as they have 8gig for $30 on Amazon.

Who needs so much storage room?

Music can be uplifting, relaxing and inspiring.  However, I usually find it after enough repetition to be dull and trite.  Music teaches me nothing.  Books on  the other hand, can offer much.

Books take significantly more room than a few crooned melodies.

We'll see if better offerings present themselves in Georgia.



INTERESTING  ARTICLE

The Five Best did a nice article on beer drinking.  The number five company surprised me.



SHOE STORY

Yet another sandal has broken.  Sadly, it is always the left one which breaks.  Were it otherwise, in addition to my badly patched clothing mismatched sandals could complete the ensemble.



CAMBODIAN BUSINESS MODELS

There is a restaurant close to the hotel.  It is a pretty pricey place on good real estate.  Looks very nice.  The place can hold about a hundred people.  

There are three outdoor cooks, more in the back - and about ten wait staff.

The owners are opening another restaurant within the even more valuable 'Pub Street'.

What confuses me is that this restaurant rarely - if ever has customers.  I've been there several times in several different months and this is always the case.

How the heck do they make money?



STORY IDEA

Hookers, Ho!

A story of dirty pirate hookers through the ages.  Follow these lusty beauties as they ply their trade upon the Seven Seas pursued by an evil Englishman who is intent on making them all disappear!



LOGAN MEDICAL

127 KG.  I can't recall if that is up or down from previous.  I'm guessing up due to Mexican food.  So good.




CAMBODIAN PRICES

Sandals, $10.  Note, prices before bartering can start as high as 150%.

Bus from Siem Reap to Bangkok, $10.



THAILAND PRICES

An excellent meal in the Khao San district of Bangkok of Indian food, $10.

Travel from Khao San Road (the cut off from the rest of the tourist district by intent so the cab drivers can squeeze the tourists for money) to Sukhimvit district by a filthy smelly tuk tuk, $10.


Sukhimvit to the airport via 'sky train', about $3 USD.



TURKEY PRICES

Plane ticket from Istanbul to Tblisi, around 300 euros or more.
Bus ticket of same, 100 Turkish Lira.   Note, "Metro" is only 90 lira.  Go Metro!

Access to a filthy squat toilet, 1 lira.

Cup of tea, small, 1 lira.

What is claimed to be 'Turkish Fanta' and isn't as good, 2 lira

FOUR DAYS TILL LEAVING SE ASIA

NARRATIVE

Still hanging around Cambodia eating Mexican food.  In about four days unless everything goes to hell a plane should be winging me rapidly toward Istanbul.   Since enough of this town has been seen to  be ignored, books have been read and a pretty awful free MMORPG called 'Crystal Saga' have been my only indulgences.

It will be nice to return to the Republic of Georgia.



SHOE STORY

Since making the extremely minimal effort at health known as 'walking around', shoes have begun to be demolished as rapidly as cheesecakes in times past.  Not only have my Czech walking shoes moved into the irreparable category but yet another pair of sandals has been lost.

Only the left shoe of the sandals seems to get destroyed.  Apparently left handed is indeed left footed as forensics has taught and the strain upon the primary foot greater.  This has ruined yet another left sandal.   Should it have been the right, perhaps mismatched sandals could have been added to patched and sewn shorts and - regrettably - tee-shirts.

Asia has become synonymous with a vast over abundance of shoe stores.   Should all shoe stores be forced to close and give their stock without charge to the inhabitants of the country, every person would be ten pair of shoes to the better.

Sadly the fashion of these shoes is regrettably Asian.  Shoes made by the same culture that thinks multicolored lights within a mouse which twinkle incessantly does not make the sort of unobtrusive goods I prefer.  Not being a teenage girl nor redneck, these sorts of overenthusiastic products are made to attract attention.

Better if my shoes made no sort of statement than quiet and competent.  Gaudiness pulls attention from where I'd prefer it - my face and my words just as the  overenthusiastic mouse draws attention from the computer screen with it's needless incessant carnival light show.

Knowing that any pair of sandals I purchased with the shoddy workmanship endemic to Asia will perish within a couple months, I went for low price and managed to ruthlessly bargain a poor lady down to $10.  Given that I may have been her only customer for the day it eludes me how she and others are able to keep their stalls open.




BOOK REVIEWS

John Keegan, "Winston Churchill - A Life".

Long have I had an abiding interest in Winston Churchill.  Arguably the greatest Englishman ever and certainly one of the most determined people to have lived.  Long conversations chiding my friend Matt Lunn that he wasn't nearly as cool as Winston Churchill come to mind.  His retort that I wasn't all that cool fell of deaf ears as I wasn't even English.

Reading this book helped dispel some of the illusions about W.S.  He was a great man - but a deeply flawed.  He was extremely smart but prone to many poor choices.

Overall, an excellent book.  It was detailed without becoming dull.  Unlike some of the other biographies of W.S. I've read this one kept things moving along at a fast enough clip you could listen to it without either nodding off or slitting your wrists.



Stephen Fry "Moab is My Washpot"

Prior to listening to this, I only had three thoughts on Stephen Fry:

1.  He is a 'treasure of England'.  This is the guy whose sonorous voice did the wildly money generating 'Harry Potter' audio books.  And, he just seems to be a 'treasure of England' though I'm sure that many people - including Stephen Fry - may disagree with that.

2.  He is a very smart person.  I've seen him on QI - 'Quite Interesting'.  I know that they feed him a lot of the answers and such via an ear piece, but this guy strikes me as very smart indeed.

3.  He is funny and has been in several comedy TV shows and movies.

After listening to the first twenty years of his life in autobiographical terms, my opinion of him is the same as of Winston Churchill after listening to a biography of him.  Both men are deeply flawed individuals, very human and it would be very nice to know them personally.  They are interesting people.

As to the book itself, Mr. Fry is very easy to listen to.  Much of what he says is interesting though he goes off onto huge tangents and a bit of rambling.  Since it is his autobiography, I feel he is allowed to do so.  Glad I heard it though it won't become something like the Discworld  series that I like to listen to again after a period of time has passed.


The Fry Chronicles - an Autobiography

This book picks up where 'Moab' leaves off and covers the next decade.

Although it is an interesting look into the rapid catapulting into fame, it wasn't as endearing as Moab.  Also, he makes  quick reference to many names, businesses, products and such that - not being English - I've never heard of.  For his countrymen, these probably bring a quick whiff of memory.  For foreigners, they become tedious lists of no consequence to the overall narrative.

Interesting but not as poignant as Moab.


Stuff White People Like


Currently listening to the book "Stuff White People Like".  As the philosopher Homer Simpson once said "It's funny because it's true."

They even covered an experience I've noted earlier in my blog about how upset other white people get when they are traveling abroad, in an obscure place and spot a fat white guy lounging around.  Since this destroys both their 'unique experience' as well as the 'authenticity' and they no longer feel like some sort of explorer, they become sad and upset.

Wack jobs.

The book itself is ironic and humorous.  Reading it immediately brings to mind many people who are white and middle class I know.  Disturbingly, I myself have done many of the things listed there.

More disturbingly, various directors and such listed are completely unfamiliar.

I don't feel like I am being a good white person.  I didn't even get a liberal arts degree.

I recommend this audio book.



LUMSIE STORIES (NERO LARP)

Lumsie loved the undead. Being a necromancer was great. Story: I was up at a chapter in Canada. It was dark and foggy out and all of the PC's were hiding in their cabins. "What's up?" Oh, I was told, there are loads of undead out there. We're going to stay in here till the morning. "Bugger that." So Lumsie wanders out of the warded cabin. Immediately two death knights jump out of the shadows. "Take me to your leader, beotches!" One is into it, the other makes lots of threats. I am taken to the leader. He rants about how it is his town, everyone is his subjects and he will crush everyone. Including me. Then, he asks who I am. "Brother Lumsie!" The guy playing the NPC and the NPC himself were both of one mind at this point. "Oh my god!" He gushes. "I have always wanted to meet you!" Big hand shakes and back slapping all around. Lumsie points to one of the death knights. "He was mean to me." Glower and a growled "I will deal with him...later..." The death knight shifted uneasily. I was then taken on a tour of the town and given armed death knight escort back to my cabin when tired. Upon gaining entry "Were you OK?" "Yeah", I responded. "Pretty quiet out there..."

Lumsie was hanging out in the woods.  There were half dozen ogres wandering around throwing up.  Their blood had apparently been tainted.  Tempest (Seth Warfield) wandered up and screeched in the high pitched dragon voice "Lumsie!  What happened?"  Lumsie, looking panicked said "Plague!  Real sudden like!  Best I should go!" and scurried off.  Tempest glared after Lumsie grunting "Uh huh..."


Big I'm not sure but one that comes to mind:  Lumsie has undead for parents.  'Not consorting' is simply not able to be done as it would be 'rude'.  So, it is Lumsie's birthday, Oct 31.

There were only a few people in the tavern.  Lumsie's mother (played by Amy L) - a very nasty vampire - swoops into the tavern with several minions.  Everything stops.  The people who are there are either unwilling or unable to take on this level of Fa King undead.  Plus, to do so might start a really nasty interplanular war.  They just sit, riveted to their seats.

Amy had baked me a chocolate cake.

It got very 'upper class English' after that.  "Lumsie are you being good?"  "Yes mummy!" and so on.

She would alternatively threaten and speak at the other people in the tavern.  Whenever she had her back turned, I stuffed as much of the chocolate cake into my mouth as possible.  When she looked back, sit up straight and attentive - with huge chunks of chocolate cake falling out of my mouth.

She utterly failed to notice - by design is my guess since my face looked like I'd eaten out a chocolate golem.

"Yes mummy!" I'd say in stereotypical upper crust English to whatever question she had or statement she made then back to the face stuffing.

The thing I remember most about that whole scene was the frozen looks on the witnesses faces, halfway between humor and horror.  It was a nice birthday for Lumsie.

NEW TERM - DITA

LEAVING TRET FOR SIEM REAP

When traveling overland in Asia, you learn to expect a certain amount of DITA from various problems incurred while traveling.   This is due to an unholy mix of poorly (non) maintained gear, general incompetence, poor driving skills and few driving rules.  [If you think this is harsh, I watched the bus driver nearly kill some guy on a scooter because he'd let his gaze wander out the window to the side of the road and linger there for over 8-10 seconds while traveling at speed.  That was just today.]

Although I did get some DITA, overall it was a very smooth trip.

Term:  DITA

The more clean minded of you can think of this as a frustrating situation.  The less clean minded think about rectal pain and build up from there.

To my extreme shock, the mini van was on time, nearly to the minute.  The discrepancy (being on time) was made up by the vehicle needing some sort of repair work.  A couple stops en route were made looking for the needed part but nothing was found.  Thought we were going to make it all the way to the border but a French couple wanted them to stop for a bathroom break.  This was thirty kilometers from the border and the vehicle died there.  Not sure if it also needed more gas but we waited for a mere half hour before a new vehicle showed up that took us the rest of the way there.

Since I already had an e-visa, the transportation company didn't try to scam me into anything else.  They figured I could have a clue and left me alone.

The border itself was quite a nightmare.  They didn't seem set up to be able to deal with even half the people that stood in lines.  There were a couple of old Israeli guys in line who reminded me of some other people.  It wasn't until they were nearly to the front of the line they realized they needed to fill out a bit of paperwork.  Since they didn't have their glasses, guess who got asked to do it?

Fortunate I did as I ended up sharing a cab from the border to Siem Reap.  The last bus had already left but the company told me I'd be riding in the cab for free.  The old guys - who had made no plans and apparently just somehow shown up at the border (possibly airdropped in by the Mossad) and decided to follow me around.  Fair enough.

Normally, to rent a cab you need four people paying - one up front, three in the back.  Everyone pays $12.  My fare was free, that left $36 needed from the back seat.  They just split it.

We'd have made better time but the cab driver was trying to plump out his earnings by stopping to pick up other packages and such on the way.

Fortunately, we didn't get stuck with any music at all.  Happy days.

Got dropped off in Siem Reap part way between Angkor Wat and the airport.  The places there are not only reportedly three times as expensive but are out in the middle of nowhere.  In Siem Reap, if you're not near 'Pub Street', you're in the sticks.  Better to stay near Pub Street and get a tuk tuk to go to the sticks.

Immediately after checking into the usual hotel it was off to the Mexican restaurant.



LOGANISMS

Famous quote

There are a lot of great quotes out there.  It is not only a good idea to read other people's to gain wisdom but to perhaps pass on a bit of the wisdom you have gained in your life within a short quote.

The quote should be very short - easier to remember and understand.  It should also have a bit of instruction and perhaps even a nugget of truth within.  And the quote should help to tell future generations what kind of person you were.

The only quote I've come up with so far is:

"Happiness can be as difficult as convincing women your semen tastes like chocolate." - Logan Horsford.

[Which - if you think about it - could be true in more than one way.]



MOVIE REVIEW

Iron Sky

Pretty much the only good thing I can say about this movie is they speak a lot in German with English subtitles. After twenty minutes, even that no longer kept me excited enough to watch it.



PRICES

Bus from Trat to Siem Reap, 500 TBH
Evisa, tourist (only), Cambodia, 1 month, $25.  Note, word is that they are crooks at the Poi Pet (border town) and will charge closer to $40+.

DOWNTIME IN SIEM REAP CAMBODIA

BACK IN SIEM REAP

Arrived in a bus station outside of Siem Reap.  A Japanese tourist offered to share a tuk tuk with me.  Why not, it saved us each a dollar and gave some nice conversation on the way into town.

Had been planning on checking out a new place to stay but the rain was just pissing down.  'Rainy season' means something here.

Decided to go back to the normal haunt.   We pull up.  A girl recognized me and produced an umbrella and the desk guy ran out to snatch up my bags and bring them in.  Both were very happy to see me again.

Because I'm stuck with Logan's brain, a list of options immediately presented themselves for this overwhelming greeting:

a) begin to masturbate wildly and erratically
b) play it cool, like I'm the president of the world and this kind of shit happens to me all the time.
c) break into spontaneous song.

Went with B.

This time.



SIEM REAP

Back here for the second or third time.  After my little fast jaunt around Cambodia I have assured myself that yes, this is the place I like better than anywhere else here.  I haven't been to absolutely everywhere but most of the towns I don't want to go to.  The major towns have more to see and do but the atmosphere of Siem Reap is very laid back.  Unfortunately, it is also a bit boring to me after several weeks here with not a lot to do.

In a country where I could learn the language (or had any desire to do so) I'd be working on doing that and hanging out with the natives and such more.  Here, meh.

This is a pretty 'family friendly' town.  I've seen a lot of tourists with kids and such wandering around it it looks like 'a good time is had by all'.

Also taken the opportunity to wander around and investigate the prices of other guesthouses, hostels and such.  Generally, they aren't a great value or are extremely remote.  Where I am currently staying is literally next door to pub street and it is very quiet.  Everywhere is quiet here after ten at night.  The words 'night life' have no real meaning here.



WHAT I'M DOING NOW

Biding my time, drinking some beer and eating mainly Mexican and Indian food.  I really dislike Cambodian food.



FUTURE PLANS

Getting from Asia back to Europe isn't real cheap.  It's looking like about $500 any way I go.  I'm going to do some research to see what I can shave off that.  My plan is to get back to Istanbul and from there take a very long bus ride to Georgia.

In doing my research, I've come across a lot of really badly designed sites.  Glad I don't have to pay to bail those airlines out.


On the 18th of this month it's off to Trat, Thailand to try to live cheaply for awhile.  After a couple weeks there (unless I hate the place, get bored etc) then it will be back to here.  Or Malaysia if I can think of something more clever.



RESTAURANT  REVIEW - "PIZZA $5", Phnom Penh, Cambodia

Seriously, that is the name and what they sell are twenty three different types of pizzas - all for $5.  Free delivery if you are so inclined.  It is run by a somewhat neurotic and extremely high energy guy whose goal is to get back to China to live 'once a little visa problem is sorted out'.  The pizza is probably the best I've had in SE Asia.

#81, Street 130
Sangkat Pshar Chas
Ph: 08989 5555

These are 30 cm pizzas.  That's a big pizza with expensive ingredients on it.  The normal price for a pizza that size is $7-$10.  I asked the owner "How are you able to sell them at this price?"  He responded they sold a LOT of pizzas.  Extra ingredients (anything - including meat and cheese) are only half a  dollar each.  I can heartily recommend it.



MAD RANTING

If I could easily travel to other dimensions (after getting rich) I would find one in which Firefly hadn't been cancelled and get the DVD set.  Where would the stories have gone to by the fifth season?

The lived in appearance of the space ships are a huge contrast to 'Star Trek' empty corridors and stark living.

Comparing the show to a PNP tabletop RPG game though, well perhaps the players I had were a lot more cautious and had the cynicism of people who were say a thousand years old.


Also, there must be several other dimensions where Sir Terry Pratchette didn't get Alzheimers.  Authors tend to get sharper with age and reading more books from him would be nice. 



VIDEOS

Asian Building
OK Guesthouse



LINKS WORTH LOOKING AT

Though it is done in a humorous way, I believe this link illustrates the huge difference in thinking between men and women.  It may be hundreds of years more before true 'equality of the sexes' is reached - if ever.



COSTS

Case of beer, 24 cans, $11.20.  Here, we call this 'cheap entertainment'...

PHNOM PENH MEDICINE RUN

MEDICINE TIME

I was sitting around Siem Reap.  The name means 'Siem Defeated'.  What a great name for your town.  Anyway, I decided it was time for me to get out of there.  After two weeks there was starting to feel pretty restless.  And five dollars would get me to the capital, Phnom Penh.

I've been to Phnom Penh two or three (I forget) times and I have a basic understanding of the city.  From the central market, you can either go south to some sort of tourist ghetto that many of the better known tourist guesthouses are or straight toward the river to get to the places I normally stay.

Naturally, I messed up when I got there - again - and was in the tourist ghetto.  Why anyone stays there is a mystery to me.  Not much going on there as far as restaurants, bars and other things tourists like.

I was going to go check into a new place but I was told that a room would open up at noon and to check back then.  Since it was eight in the morning, that gave me some time.  I got a shave and a haircut ($3) and then found out about the 'French pharmacy' that allegedly had 'everything'.

A half dozen other pharmacies were trying to convince me that one of the medicines I am on was the same as ibuprofen.  I had told them it wasn't but they still wanted to sell me...anything.  I tried carrying around the boxes of the medicines I was actually trying to get.  This worked better as it seemed to prove to the pharmacists that lo, they actually exist but still no luck.  A visit to the 'French Pharmacy' which I wasn't smart enough to get the business card to finally ended my hunt for the medicines.

And then I figured 'why stay'?  I've spent a lot (too much) time in Phnom Penh and it really didn't thrill me so I went to the bus station, bought a ticket and hired a tuk tuk to drive me to the hotel then return with me to the bus station ($2).

When I burst into the hotel, I grabbed five cigarettes out of the case and said "I want to make a gift of these cigarettes to you for keeping an eye on my stuff but I won't be able to stay tonight - I've been called to Kampot."  Remember, bribe before you need to.  Had I not done that, chances are good they might have demanded money for gear storage.  Even if they didn't, I figured it was the 'classy' thing to do.

Either way, a win.

So, I went to Kampot.  They said it was a four hour bus ride.  Naturally, that means a six hour bus ride.  I found out later that it is possible to get a shared taxi where you sit alone in the front seat for $10 and it takes two and a half hours.  As Adam points out though, I do have plenty of time.  I can't help but fantasize that for a bribe of a soft drink I could demand no music for the entire trip though.

It wears you down to watch these god awful Cambodian music videos.   They film people doing karaoke and line dancing and make a music video out of that.  Horrible dancing, horrible music.  I've never been tortured before but if I am, I pray they don't find out about my hatred of these sorts of videos.  I'm sure that they would put them on, loud.  I'd rather just hear the sounds of my own screaming and begging for death.  Really.

So, I got to Kampot and allowed myself to be persuaded by one of the annoying touts to go see a guesthouse.  It is called the 'Cozy Elephant'.  I'm not sure who would name their guesthouse thusly, but it has been done.

After I specified I was looking for a room for $10 per night, the Belgian owner said his was $12 per night and I wouldn't be able to get anything in Kampot for $10 per night.

I looked him dead center and said "Want to bet?"

So, I am staying at the Cozy Elephant, $10 per night.  It has hot water and air conditioning but no mini fridge.  In deference to the cost of electricity, the lighting is so dim that I am worried about going blind here.  Not cool. It does have a balcony.  No view to speak of but there is a place to smoke.

The neighborhood it is in is extremely poor.  We're talking corrugated metal roof type of poor.  But, it's away from the regular tourist area and - aside from the noisy packs of half wild constantly barking dogs allowed to flourish in poor countries - quiet.  I may stay for one or two nights.

The problem I ran into was when I was walking down the street, I said "Fuck, does this look familiar."

And it was.

You see, I am both an idiot and forgetful.  I am forgetful in that I forgot I have been here before.  I am an idiot for not checking my own blog to see if I've been here before.  Ah well.

After doing some research on other towns within Cambodia and seeing the prices of their rooms (alarming) I'm thinking stay here for a couple days then possibly go to a place called Koh Kong.  It looks like a small and possibly shitty border town that Thais go to for gambling.  Or I'll just go back to Siem Reap.  Not sure.

The big problem I have right now is that I need to burn time until the Georgians are ready for me in October and try to spend as little money as possible in the meantime.

Unfortunately, the only countries really cheap enough for hanging out in give me a choice of Thailand and Cambodia.

My possible plane route would go through Dubai (very expensive city) then to Istanbul.  Turkey is fairly expensive.  My plan is to basically bus through it unless I find very cheap airfare to Tbilisi.

So, I'm stuck in Asia.  If I wanted to stay longer than two weeks in Thailand (not sure if I want to) I'd need to buy the plane ticket to show 'proof of onward travel' when getting a visa.  Otherwise, I can just do a land border crossing in and get two weeks.  That will take me up to September.  Spend September in Cambodia and then head off for Georgia.

Who knows?  I may just buy the plane ticket if my research can turn up other cheap places to go hang out in Thailand.

Either way, I'm looking forward to getting out of SE Asia.  If the Georgians were ready for me, I'd go there tomorrow...  Well, as soon as I could procure a cheap ticket that is.



WEIRD SHIT

Basic Celsius for Americans.

Many Americans become confused about Celsius vs Fahrenheit.  They normally try to figure out the conversion from one to the other.  This is frustrating and time consuming.

May I instead submit this easy to follow chart:

0   You may freeze to death.
10  Oh my god is it cold.  Bundle up.  You may be in Canada, eh?
20  Comfort.
30  Really hot.  You will try to find air conditioning if possible and sweat if not.
40  You are in a desert.  Your camel may complain loudly.
50  You may melt and die.   Your camel is already dead.

That's how easy it really is.  These are not absolutes.  Some people will  say "Actually, I find 18 C is comfortable.  Just slap them.  These are general readings so that you have an idea what is up.


Chris will especially enjoy this.

Years ago, several people were sitting around the table during a table top RPG.  One of the people decided to make a disparaging remark about someone who was not there.  I can't remember the person's name so I will call them X.

The person said "X is book-smart, but not street-smart."

I asked the person if they knew where to go in downtown Chicago right then to buy a fully automatic weapon.  They said they didn't know so I said "I don't consider YOU to be 'street smart' either."

"Oh, like you do."  said the 'disparager'.

I smiled at the person as everyone else around the table assured the person that 'yes, I did'.

In a new update, I have recently learned which country to go buy an atomic bomb in.

I do have doubts if I could actually get it into the USA.  In a country where they have you take off your shoes to get x-rayed (the only one BTW), I'm thinking that I might have trouble getting that in.

Sure, I could claim it was for 'home defense'.  I guarantee that if it were set off there would be no living beings around alive to actually burgle my home.  But, I don't think they would like such a large 'kill radius'.



COSTS

In both Phnom Penh and Siem Reap if you are paying over $10 (or possibly $12) per night you are either desperate, gullible, silly or living at a higher social standard than I.  For this amount of money, you should get air conditioning, hot water, wifi in your room and probably a mini-fridge.  If not, seek better lodging.

Beer cost:  Siem Reap has the cheapest beers at $.50 for a draft beer pretty much everywhere.  The 'happy hour' cost in both Phnom Penh and Kampot is $.75.  Not very happy by comparison.

Motorcycle ride - can be to multiple destinations $1.  Tuk tuk (also can be to multiple destinations), $2.  Note, it wasn't a long wait - it was 'take me to the pharmacy, I will buy something then take me home and I'll give you this shiny dollar.'  Yeah, it worked.  Yes, they did try to convince me it was that amount each way but when I said "Let me go check with the other guys to see if they'll do it."  I got waved into the vehicle.