49 DAYS TO GO

WALK AROUND TEST

Well, I'm not sure how much my pack weighs in at but I can say without fear of contradiction that it is more than I am loving. Yes, I did walk around with it for an hour or so but I felt it - big time. Sure, if I drop 30-50 lbs (13-22KG for you on a more sensible system) then my pack would be much less of a big deal. Hopefully, if I am walking around instead of bored-sitting-eating at my house that will happen. It's the plan anyway. I've still got some space in my pack which is good because there were a couple things I wasn't carrying today - phone charger, more medicine, etc.

In an ideal world, I'd just be taking a couple days worth of clothing. That isn't really realistic - and the shit builds quick. Oh - you need toiletries. And my medicine to keep me from dying. And my blood pressure machine to tell me if I am starting to die. And my electronics to keep in touch with everyone else. And chargers/cords/converters for all of that shit. And locks to use for lockers I will hopefully get to put my shit into so that I don't have to start over.

It tends to add up pretty quick.

I guess when you get down to it, the most basic of stuff I could take would be my clothing and medicine. Obviously, I'm going to try to take more than that. I'm hoping that I will be able to leave my packs in my room chained to something (need to buy as light of metal chain as I can still) so that they at least have to cut into it to get the chewy chewy center. Mmmm. Chewy...

One unnecessary thing I am going to be packing is an electric razor. I figure it will have two uses - the 'canary in the mine' and 'keep me from looking like a terrorist'. The 'canary' bit is I can plug it in to the outlet and see if it explodes. If not, there is a chance I can plug my computer in there and hopefully it won't explode. Note, that it will still probably explode. I don't know why. The 'terrorist' thing is when I grow a beard, well, I look a little freaky.

I am also contemplating bringing a second bag. Before you say "Ah ha! We knew you couldn't live out of just one bag!", it is for smuggling purposes only. By that I mean "Stuff the TSA doesn't want me to bring on the aircraft. Like liquids over 1oz. I'm thinking about packing some clothing in there also so that if they do lose the bag, I can get more money out of the airport. But, aside from the liquids (and maybe a small knife - not sure on that as it may present a legal issue at borders) I could throw out the bag and all of the contents after I get the liquids and such out of it. If the airport doesn't lose it first. Not sure on that one.

I'm sure when Bert eventually gets time he will look at the stuff I have packed and say "Really? What's wrong with you? Why do you want to take this?" I can't say I'm blaming him for that either.



CLONE BERT FUND
This is an artists rendition of what it would look like if there were two Berts on a 'V' shaped stair. Why a 'V' shaped stair? Shut up! That's why!

Speaking of Bert, he's been as busy a one legged man in an arse kicking competition. (I hope he is winning.) Please contribute to the 'Clone Bert Fund'. Give generously and we can try to make more than one Bert. He then might get done with all of the stuff he's trying to get done on time. Give generously to this fund! We're going to have to develop cloning technology for humans first. Well, at least cloning technology that people will admit to. [You KNOW they have done it already but won't admit to it.]

Bert's thoughts on getting himself cloned - he'd want at least two clones so one of them could not do actual work but some other project Bert is wanting to do. Part of it involves defeating his arch nemesis! Or his other arch nemesis! He has so many.



MOVIE REVIEW

Rewatching another old film, 'The Amateur'. No, it is not a porn. Took me a good hour of pondering to remember the title and such. Given my memory, I'm amazed I got it at all. This is one of the movies that it is a pity they didn't have electronic format back then. A lot of nifty movies have gotten lost over time due to VHS or nothing. They also had some nice shots of Munich (Germany, you heathens) in this one.

There is a lot of very dated stuff in this - like amazingly light security (2 marines) at an embassy. And 1980's computers. And glasses. I think the electronics always help date a movie. If someone was to make a movie and use fake nifty electronics, I don't know if it would help keep the movie from being dated. It seems we can never imagine far enough ahead, even with Moore's Law. [Notice that on Moore's Law they are even thinking 'oh, after 2015-ish. Will it? Only 4 more years to find out if they are full of shit - my guess is that's why they put an '-ish' on the end.]

Another dated thing is Czechoslovakia. Gods, I remember when that was a country. Makers of Semtex! Part of the movie is (suppose to be) set in Prague. Interesting bit of history...

A couple of good lines (not found on IMDB):

The main character (Heller) is asking a lady (Elisabeth) why she works for the CIA while living behind the iron curtain.
Elisabeth: "It fills my days."
Heller: "With what?"
Elisabeth: "With fear. It fills my days with fear."

When Heller gets the drop on an guy with a gun, he has it up to the guys skull:
Heller: "Drop the gun and put up your hands.
The enemy agent looks fairly confident until,
Heller: "I'm fairly new at this."
The enemy agent looks much more nervous and drops his gun.



SNOW

It started snowing here. I am holding myself and rocking back and forth saying "Only forty nine days left."



CTHULHU

Remember this! If you don't know about Cthulhu, you need to learn more here.

Food and Civilization

FOOD AND CIVILIZATION

Being that I am a fat man, I find that I like to equate many things to food - including the 'level of civilization'.

Primitive - 'Food quest' level of dining. This is the type of food that comes from bits normally not considered 'edible' by civilizations higher up what I'm thinking of as 'the food chain'. Most of the world seems to be on 'food quest'. Unless for religious reasons, vegetarians do not exist at this level. My belief as to why is that it is more of a 'if we don't eat (whatever) we die. So - an 'us vs them' type of mentality.

Basic - You have to get off your fat ass to go to the store or restaurant to get food but they eat normal stuff. They claim normally inedible parts of animals to be 'cultural delicacies'. One of the favored games of civilizations at this level is 'What will Effendi eat?' For those not knowing, 'effendi' in this case is referring to the tourist.

Normal (for highly developed countries) - No ears of animals and stuff like that to be found aside from in very specialized parts of the country. For example, the 'pork rinds' of the hicks of the USA. At this level, the dreaded vegan makes their appearance.

Decadent - "Who is still open for delivery at this hour?" You can also get specialized delivery organizations that will bring you whatever weird shit your heart is craving. If you want a pound of chocolate, a tin of sardines and an inflatable sheep at three in the morning - this level of civilization is the one that has organizations set up to get that for you and quick. At this level, the uber-vegan makes their appearance. The uber-vegan does not use any products that have been in an animal's shadow.



MOVIE REVIEW - LORD OF WAR

I'd give this about a 5 out of 10. It was a bit slower than I liked and overall a bit depressing. It did have a couple OK scenes and was well made.

Logan's movie scale:

1: This is so bad I don't know why the studio that made it hasn't been burned down.
2: This is so bad, I'd suggest rounding up all of the copies made of the film and destroying them. Or showing them to people instead of waterboarding them for much the same effect.
3: This is the usual rating I give to films I don't make it all of the way through. Either the film is too slow for me or has nothing that interests me.
4: I made it through the film and thought it was bad.
5: I am ambivalent about the film. If given a chance to see it again, I wouldn't but I'm not willing to slit my wrists for having seen it.
6: This is the minimum for making it into 'the collection'. Whether it gets watched again ever is anybodies guess. This is the minimum level I would recommend the film to anyone and no - I don't give them spoilers. I might say something like "I really liked the scene at the airport". That kind of information doesn't tell them anything and after they've seen the 'scene at the airport' they can say 'ah!' - or 'Logan's a tool'. Either way.
7: A good solid film.
8: A very good film indeed.
9: Films that are very close to the best but not quite there.
10: This is the kind of film that gets re-watched more than one time a year.


EUROPE AS SEEN THROUGH LOGAN'S EYES

This is my 'further wanderings' map. Apparently, I can't stay in the countries with the black slash through them for three months each - the EU (clack slashes through them) is considered one big country as far as the 'spend your three months here then get out' time goes. So, I'd have to 'duck into' for three months.

The countries that are crossed out in red are 'gosh are they expensive' countries.

The countries colored in red are ones that I'd want to find out more before going in as my safety might be a concern, or it is a 'real pain in the ass' to get into the country. For example, Saudi Arabia has a really 'we don't want tourists' way of getting the visas. You have to get them in advance, etc. Also countries that charge a bunch of money (like $100) - especially if they only let you stay there for a month. I can go back and see those countries after I see everything else.

Not sure if I want to enter Israel - doing so limits your travel options elsewhere as none of their neighbors seem to like them.

Note that this is only my 'Europe map'. I'm wanting to start there. I'm not sure how much I'll be able to travel or for how long. My body is really not doing well but I'm going to go for it with all of the gusto I can.



GEORGIA (the country)

Interesting fact, quote "Citizens of EU countries, the USA, Canada, Japan, Israel, Switzerland, Singapore, Norway, Iceland, Liechtenstein, Andorra, San Marino, Turkey, Kuwait, Qatar, Bahrain, United Arab Emirates, Oman, South Korea and CIS nations (except Russia) need no visa to visit Georgia for up to 360 days [2]."

Now that's what I call 'wanting tourists'! Leave our country for five days every year and you can stay here as long as you want!

Now - I have no idea if they have anything nifty to see there but the cost of living does look pretty inexpensive. Might be good to check out. From what I've read, seems there are some friendly folks there.

Naturally, they do have some 'parts of the country not under government control' - so I would need to be careful on where I traveled...



INDIA

I was talking to a guy from India today and mentioned that I might end up going there some time and he told me that they occassionally give foreigners really long - like several years - visas just to encourage them to stick around and spend money. I like that sort of attitude and I also like how cheap it is to live in India. I'll see if that sort of thing can happen when I get closer to being there.



GOOGLE SEARCH

Amazingly, this blog is the top search result if you search for "Logan's Voyage"! Woot.



LATEST BAG REPACK

I lost some clothing (intentionally) out of my bags. If anyone thinks of anything critical that I am needing, let me know - I think I've got enough 'extras' though. Here is what we've got it down to. Note, the clothing listed will be additional to what I am wearing. Most of the stuff is in water proof bags or clear 'freezer bags'.

Pair of shorts (can double as swim trunks if I need to horrify the natives)

Pair of sweat pants (black)

2 T-shirts, black, no writing.

4 sets of underwear

4 sets of socks (one of the travel writers mentioned that socks and underwear determine when he has to do his laundry - that sounds good to me so I'm taking less shirts/pants and more socks/underwear)

Travel towel

Power transformer (shitty)

Small, light possibly inappropriate gifts for friends (note to friends - please do NOT buy me anything as I won't be able to carry it. If you feel you wish to reciprocate, you can buy me a drink or something. These were VERY inexpensive gifts - a beer or two would certainly cover it. I got these small gifts way before I knew I'd be trying to live out of a bag for an unknown period of time).

Crappy travel alarm with instructions

Lotion, very small tube (it puts the lotion on it's skin)

Wash cloth

Drain stopper

Cord (as in cloth cord to tie stuff up with or make a wash line. Note - you should not read anything into the fact I am carrying both the lotion and cord. It is merely a coincidence).

Electric razor (that might go if I need to lighten the pack. I would then join the ranks of the unwashed bearded hippies. Dirty, dirty hippies).

Toiletries (miscellaneous shit your probably happier not knowing the specifics of. Instead, let your imagination run wild).

Flashlight (one of those LED ones - seems powerful as hell)

Earplugs (for when screaming at someone just won't do the trick)

Extra glasses in a 'crush resistant' case. (Note that I did not say 'crush proof' but it is the best I've got).

First aid kit containing:
* Some very old bandaids
* 3 spools of thread (very small spools, dark colors)
* 3 needles (I am worried that the TSA will say "Ah - plan to stab the pilot in his EYES and take over the aircraft, eh?")
* Very small container of Krazy Glue (Bert told me that if I get a blister from having walked too much that I can lance it, drain it and put Krazy Glue over it to make a second skin. This seems like it could work but I do have two thoughts on it: a) have you seen me? Do you really think I'm going to walk long enough to get a blister anywhere? b) I have thoughts that if I tried this, I would somehow get my foot stuck to the floor and end up with much worse pain. However, it is a good thought, very light so what the hell.)
* Small eyeglass repair kit (hope I'll never need that)

Extra crappy lock

Extra D-rings (these are the small ones for repairing my bags if the plastic crap on them goes. Not the big climbing ones. I don't plan on climbing on jack shit.)



Things yet to be packed:

Wires for all of my electronic shit. Having the electronic thing without the correct wires means I won't have the electronic thing long.

Medicine - possibly with my bulky blood pressure machine. High blood pressure is a pretty serious risk and mine has been way up lately. So I'm very much considering this.



Things I need to still buy then pack:

Rain poncho

Water purification tablets

Condoms (Fat, ugly people need love too. Plus I'd much rather have them and not need them than need them and not have them. Also, as we have seen in the movie "The Big Red One" I can make ten condoms into two gloves and deliver a baby if need be.)

The Bag of Doom

Well, my bag arrived today - this is what it looks like:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0013KBWOO/ref=oss_product

Keep in mind that this bag is small enough to be taken onto the plane as a carry on. This bag and my normal carry around bag (and I'm not sure about that one yet) are all I'm planning on taking for a month in Europe. Pretty much everything I've read and listened to all stress the importance of packing light. This is also a good test for 'how long can I live out of a small frigging bag'. I'm thinking that with this and my normal carry around satchel I'd like to try it out and see.

So - what's in the bag? Note that I will be revising this list as time goes on - this is the initial list. Two things I've found helpful in the past for 'big trips'; first - I like to have the bag partially packed up and add stuff to it as I go. Sometimes you'll just have a little thought like "I should take some Q-tips" - toss at least one in right away to remind you. Picture as different countries might call them different things: http://tinyurl.com/23ga4k8 The second tip I heard on one of the various travel podcasts I'm listening to. They say that after you get your bag packed up, go shopping around your hometown with it for an hour or two. Or the day. How do you hold up after that? If it's too heavy, start dumping stuff out. That's brilliant. I also wanted to get a backpack instead of just dragging around my wheeled bag. Backpacks are a lot easier to wander around with outside of the airport. I suppose if someone is really slick and gets some nice aluminum wheels that can be put onto and taken off of their backpack/bag they'd have the best of both worlds.

Here's a partial list of what we've got in so far:

3 sweat pants.

Sources advise not taking jeans for a couple reasons - they are much heavier and also they dry a lot less quickly than other clothing. They also take up a lot more space in the bag. I'm not taking them because I only have one pair and can't remember the last time I wore them instead of my normal sweat pants.

4 t shirts

4 pair of socks & underwear

Bag of miscellaneous toiletries. Now, since fear has caused people to give up their rights: http://www.tsa.gov/ you'll want to make sure that the bag is clear. That's so when they are rooting around in your bag unrolling all of your carefully rolled clothing (yes, roll up your clothing) and messing it about, they can look at and dismiss your toiletries easily instead of up ending the bag and dumping it out into your suitcase.

Electric razor. I recommend on all cords and such, use twistie ties, rubber bands or some other clever thing to make the cords neat. This is partially because of the TSA wanting to muck about with your bag and partially because if you don't it can look like you've got some sort of weird explosive device in your bag and it will get searched beyond the x-ray machine. Which you don't want.

Power converter (for pretty much everywhere)

http://www.walmart.com/ip/Converter-Adapter-Set/10983771

Mine looked less slick than this, came with a bag instead of a box and cost half the price. I've no idea if it works and no way of knowing till I get over there if it will blow up my shit or not. I guess that's the beauty of selling a product like that - by the time someone's pissed off, they're on the other side of the world seething in impotent rage. Sounds like a great product to sell. I mean, even if you're pissed at it, you're not going to remember 'oh it was Protege that sold me this - I'll get them'. No. You're just going to cry yourself to sleep at night. Now one thing I didn't like about it is that it says not to use it on computers and electronics of that nature. Now I ask you, who the fuck wants a power converter that you can't use on that sort of thing? What's the point? For curling irons? For fuck's sake. So, that is a product I really don't recommend just because it is either too shitty to use on your computer or they don't have enough confidence in their product to say 'oh - sure - use it on your computer'. Either way, not happy thus far with it and I haven't even gotten to plug it in anywhere.

All of my clothing is dark colors, fairly somber. I will only be taking probably one shirt that has any writing on it - and that is the shirt that has this on it:

http://tinyurl.com/2e7v5x4

Note that I have personally used that seller on e-bay before and got my shirt freakishly fast. It seems to be of good quality - I've worn it three times or so and it has utterly failed to fall apart. For people who haven't traveled before - I don't recommend bringing any kind of clothing with writing on it. Blending is the key. I am doing it because I am a freak and just like Firefly enough to want to make sure it has more world wide advertising. Don't know - that shirt might end up getting left behind (or in the bag) depending on how I feel.

Extra glasses. Lets face it - if your vision is very bad (as is mine) and your glasses get broken, lost or whatever you are fucked. Proper fucked if your vision is bad enough. So it doesn't hurt to take along extra glasses. You're going to want to put them either in a smaller bag you'll be carrying (like a secure shoulder bag - more on that later) or off to the side in your main bag/backpack. One thing that people don't often think about when they're packing their backpack is just how often they're going to be leaning on it. If you're not sure of the answer, it is a lot. I've seen people with breakable stuff in it trying hard not to lean on it but it is just too handy to do. It's like (if you packed it right) having a big pillow strapped to your back. Of course you are going to bloody well lean on it. Just arrange stuff with that in mind and you'll be OK.

Pad lock. A lot of hostels and such have lockers you can put your shit into. They don't come with the lock - you provide that. If you carry around a combination lock, you don't have to worry about losing your keys. Naturally, I'm a dumbass and got a key lock. I might have to get a new lock.

Cord. A bit of cord comes in useful - drying line, tying up people, hanging stuff off of yourself so you can look like a freak, whatever. Pack some cord. I believe that a lot of the little things (things that don't take up much room or weigh much) can really help out on the trip.

Things I've still got to get:

Hard rubber ball. Heard about this on one of the traveling podcast (I really have no creativity but I do know enough to study before I leave) that many places don't have drain plugs. My guess is that they don't want some dumbass flooding their hostel. The rubber ball works as one but is also multi-function. After I explained to Travis that I could bounce it off of the wall when I was bored, he said it would then roll under the bed - somewhere I couldn't get at it and where it would never be seen again.

Little locks. This is deter would be thieves. You stick them on the zippers of your backpack and it will keep them out. Unless they have a knife in which case you must ask yourself the question - did you bring a small sewing kit?

Extra house key. It is really amazing what you think about when you think "What happens if I lose everything I take?" It could happen - don't go home only to have to pay good money to replace the window of your house after you had to break in. My plan is to well hide the key somewhere in a park near my house (or where ever I don't think thieves will search) so that should I get back and need a key (having lost or had mine stolen) then I can get back into my house. As a side note - don't bring keys you won't need. If you aren't taking your car with you to Europe and you're taking the bus to the airport from your home - you are an idiot if you lug around your car keys. If you do need to bring your car to the airport long term storage, I'd personally hide a copy of the car key no where near my car. Just remember where you hid it. If you get back, still have your keys you took with you - who cares? Ditch the extra key. Hiding it in a magnetized hideaway (something good car thieves with time look for) or under the wheel of your car - again, 'idiot'. If there is any justice in the world, the Mafia will leave a dead body in your trunk.

Now, a bit on bag security. I've had a rather...interesting...period in my formative years and will tell you how pickpockets and bag snatchers work. I want to preface this by saying 'most people aren't use to pickpockets' - especially in the USA. I don't think they even have them in Australia. http://tinyurl.com/3xmbals The reason I mention it for a trip to Europe is they have some there. Your chances of meeting one are pretty low. I have lived in Europe for close to three years (being quite a dumbass, believe me - my excuse is I was young) and have never been pickpocketed. I'm not even sure that all of the people who claim to be pickpocketed were - many could just be idiots who left things lying around. The fact is that they (and other thieves) do exist. So, I'm putting up some stuff that may help.

Grab and run. Literally, they will just grab your bag and run off with it. Solutions, wear it strapped to you. If you are a woman wearing the purse in the 'fashionable' way, http://tinyurl.com/3xsp7p7 then, I'm sorry - your shit is gone. If you have delusions of 'hanging onto it' and such when some maniac grabs it and dashes off, you are probably dead wrong. They usually time it so that your hand isn't clutching it then go for it. That also goes for this silly bint http://tinyurl.com/33bffsk and this one http://tinyurl.com/2vx62nv Gone, gone gone. The best way to carry bags or purses is like http://tinyurl.com/32fxxte Unfortunately, she didn't keep her purse closed with tiny locks so she is getting pick pocketed. Now, if you have a rolling case, I'm thinking that could also be grabbed and gone pretty quick - another advantage for the backpack. When you sit down with your backpack off, do you lean it carefully against your leg or do you wrap a strap around your leg like a python? If you put the bag up in the luggage rack of the train, do you set it there carefully or do you fiendishly attach straps to the rack for the guy who dodges in, grabs it and tries to run out? Do you have enough straps attached so you don't have to worry about them breaking?

Professional pickpocket team. Professionals have three guys in their team. The spotter looks for and finds the targets. They signal the guy who actually picks the pocket. Forget the fancy name for that guy. The third guy is the 'hand off guy'. The pickpocketer either hands (or reverse pickpockets) this guy. That way even if you somehow notice the pickpocket and catch up to him - wallah! He doesn't have the wallet. You must be mistaken. There goes your passport, thanks, we'll sell it for $5000. Chump. Pros are pretty rare. Avoiding them isn't too hard. You just work on looking poor. Have tape put over imaginary holes in your pack, dress way down, don't look like a mark. In my case, this is easy as I *am* poor. Some people will have to work harder at it. Are you wearing a nifty looking wrist watch or a cheap piece of crap? Jewelry? Expensive cameras? While you can't necessarily look as poor as some of the people in countries you go to, you can look more poor than other tourists. Don't take this to the extreme where police try to get you out of the country thinking you are an out of work street person.

Kids! Hate these the most. They mob you and hold up a piece of cardboard under your face so you can't see their busy little fingers get into your pockets and such. Protecting against these (since you can't beat them to death as you should be able to) is harder - zippers and buttons on pockets, things that slow them down are pretty much your defense. You won't run into these except in the most dire third world countries. I'm thinking Asia and Africa may have some of these delightful little bullet catcher wannabes but I would be shocked if we saw any in Europe.

Well, that's all for right now. I will be adding more to my bag (and perhaps subtracting some of what I added!) as time goes on ticking down the last 83 days till the (first) big trip.