DIFFERENCES BETWEEN EUROPE AND USA

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN EUROPE AND USA

There are a lot of differences between Europe and the USA. For example Americans pay ten to twenty percent less in taxes than other developed countries.  Of course, you don't see that in your bank account but you will be crippled financially for decades due to student loan payments and medical bills.  But best not to talk about that...

...and move on to something lighter.



INSECTS

There seem to be a lot less of them in Europe.  The average European doesn't have - nor need - screens on their windows and doors.  This is slowly changing as screens are making their way into Europe.

To give an example, in the USA if you look at any random street light at night, you will find insects teeming around it.  Not so in Europe.

My personal belief is possibly the slaying of the indigenous population left us with some sort of curse.

Not sure what more we can do for the survivors - we have named several sports teams after them...

...And even gave them casinos...

I mean, what more could people want?  Well, other than not being slaughtered.

My god, this gif can get annoying.  On to the next thing...



ELECTRIC KETTLE

Believe it or not, I had to go to England to see one of these.  Really.

They just don't have them in America.  Instead, we have

Yep.  This blurry shitty picture is the best I could find.  'Merica!  And Logan's laziness.  Laziness is indeed a stereotype of Americans.

It seems to baffle Europeans that people in the USA don't own electric kettles.  "How do you heat water?" I have been asked on numerous occasions.

When I moved in to my apartment in Macedonia, the kind people I rented it from made sure the apartment had a comfortable rolling chair for my ever widening ass and...and electric kettle.  I'd asked for a microwave which baffled them.  I was warned that I would become sick (and possibly die) if I used it overly much.  "If that were true, most of America would have already died." I retorted.

After having lived in Europe for a year or two (?) I would say that if you drink instant coffee or tea, an electric kettle is indispensable.   It heats up water faster than the stove will and I've heard that some advanced models even have a 'keep the water warm' setting.  Honestly though it heats up fast enough you really don't need that.



PHARMACIES

In the USA, especially if you have medical insurance, you go to the doctor if you think something is wrong.  Within Europe you go to the doctor if you think something is severely wrong or you are dying.

Instead of going to the doctor, you go to the pharmacy.   In the USA, it seems you need a prescription for almost everything.  For example, I take medicine for high blood pressure, muscle relaxants and for my ankylosing spondylitis.  A prescription is needed for all five medicines, which entails an expensive and time consuming doctor visit.  Every other country I've been to - including all the European nations I have visited - all these drugs are over the counter.  Although I've chosen to go to a doctor to have the prescriptions verified from time to time, it is not obligatory.



WASHING MACHINES

Coming from the land of top loading washing machines, the front loader is one of the most baffling things about Europe.

These are a huge pain in the ass.

When the machine is running, the door automatically locks to keep you from opening it and spilling a couple of liters of hot, soapy water onto your floor.

While this may sound reasonable in principle, it is one of the worst designs I've ever seen.

Often the door decides to stay locked until it feels like opening.  If ever.

With the top loader, you can open it whenever you want without the risk of a foot bath and burn.  The machine merely stops whatever it was doing.

Forget to add some socks?  No problem with a top loader - just open it up and toss them in there.  Front loader?  Too bad.  Maybe you can get it open but you feel a bit like...

...you're trying to crack a safe.  In fact, I've had an easier time getting into a couple of safes than some of these front loaders.

So why do Europeans use them?  According to some sources, they do a better job, use less water and detract less from counter space when installed in the kitchen and are more gentle on clothing.

From my perspective, using the top loader is much easier, therefore better.  See American stereotypes above.



PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION

Having lived in five different states within the USA (Arizona, Colorado, Illinois, Nebraska and Virginia) I would have to say "Public transportation in the USA sucks donkey cock."

Within Europe, public transportation is easy to use.  Buses, streetcars, subways, bike paths and so on.

America, not so much.   Women see men who don't own a car as a loser.  Corporations also want you to drive and are not above evil means to make that happen.  Lots of places in the USA don't have adequate public transportation and unless you own a car, keeping a job won't happen.

Don't get me wrong, plenty of people in Europe own cars but public transportation is a viable option.  Heck, you can even travel across Europe using public transportation.



FURTHER READING

I thought this article was an interesting read.  Disclaimer:  No, I am not trying to get anyone to move anywhere.  Honestly, I don't care where you live.  It would make me happy if more people from the USA left it to travel extensively and see some of the world.  It opens doors in your mind you did not know were there.



FOR PEOPLE NOT FROM AMERICA

Do not be discouraged by my views on the differences.  Although Winston Churchill said “When I am abroad, I always make it a rule to never criticize or attack the government of my own country. I make up for lost time when I come home.”, I am not planning on living in the USA any more so have to do it from abroad.


For Europeans planning on visiting the USA, here are five recommendations.

First - unless you are wealthy, you'll want to travel in a group of two to four people to reduce costs.  I recommend renting a vehicle large enough to sleep in as most of America hasn't really figured out the whole 'hostel' thing yet.  Hotels are freakishly expensive.  They have showers at some rest stops and you can get your own camp showers.

Yeah, it sucks but it beats blowing a hundred dollars a night for a hotel.



Second - when you go to a restaurant, have only one person order food and the other share with them.  Seriously - you will get at least double the portions and can feed two, maybe three people from one order.  This will help you save money.  Remember, unless you tip at least 15% to 25% or make sure you never go to that restaurant again.  Unless you like steak seasoned with ass.  The movie Waiting will show some of the dreadful things that can happen should you run afoul the staff of a restaurant.



Third - be sure to visit the 'hick'/'redneck' states.  I did a search on the internet to try to get a good map of which states are included in this.  The best I could find was this map:

I have no idea why the 'most religious states' are those most closely associated with hick/redneck culture.

But if you want to watch people race lawnmowers (yes), go noodling, attend tailgating parties, get to see an individual's closet full of guns and meet some really unique people...

...you owe it to yourself to go there.



Fourth, the USA is frigging huge.

While you don't need to plan out how long to spend at each location (don't recommend it either) I do recommend coming up with some sort of route.  This can make it much more probable you will hit all of the things you want to see.



Lastly, be sure to speak with people outside your group.  If you are looking for...intimate companionship, know that Americans love foreign accents.  Except Mexican.  There we have a bit of racism.  But if you are from Europe especially countries Americans get excited about the thought of visiting (not actually visiting, just the thought of it) such as France, Switzerland, etc you will find 'picking someone up' (ie one night stands aka quick sex aka bonk bonk vroom vroom...  Hopefully, you get the idea) much easier than a local.  Play up on your 'being exotic'.  Enjoy.



WEIRD SHIT AND MEMES

Be careful what you type in.  Notice that 'lobbyists' fails to appear?  Was Google bribed by one?  If only the aliens had paid up!

Know your Gods!

What an amazing sight to come home to every day.

There is some of that in this fucking blog.

Because 'Merican!

Wish I'd found this for my previous blog.  It could have used more casual racism.

But not this much.  Way over the line here.  Note, if I still have any fans of Asian ancestry, be sure to write in and tell me how much you love this blog.  Despite me.

Lastly, this reminds me of my good friend Chris C.  He use to have a profound skill in projectile vomiting.  Also, this blog may cause some people to do this.

ON THE BLACK SEA, PART 2

REMINDER - CLICK ON THE TITLE TO GET TO MY PHOTOBUCKET WITH PICTURES OF THE TRIP



DAY 4 (SATURDAY)

One of the passengers (who shall remain nameless) was approached by a lady who asked (bad English) if he had anything to drink. He took her to his room and gave her a drink. She then pointed at the bed and held up three fingers. Apparently, she was wanting some extra spending money when she hit Georgia. She was politely refused.

Andries who'd learned to play backgammon the previous night was annoying people who'd played all their lives by winning. Repeatedly. He has a sharp mind.

The boat stopped a distance outside of the harbor. Apparently, it's a busy harbor. After waiting there for a couple of hours, the boat made it's way into port. Everyone was assembled ("mustered") in the lobby room to wait for customs control. That took another couple hours of people shamelessly cutting off each other. People are really horrible at queing in this part of the world.

After that, we went to the non-functional elevator for awhile then eventually managed to exit the ship. I was given incorrect directions by someone who worked there. Idiot.

And then on to Georgia!



HOSTEL BITCHING

For some reason I can't fathom, hostels aren't listed on all of the various hostel pages. You'd think if someone had a hostel, they'd spend a few hours at regular intervals finding all of the hostel web pages and making sure they are listed on at least the major ones. This doesn't seem to be the case. Andries and Inga found a hostel that is Batumi - I didn't know it existed. So, I decided to go with them to it. If I like Batumi, I'll stay there longer. Andries and Inga will be in Batumi for a couple days before going on to Tbilisi. We'll see what I think of the town but I have no desire to crowd them. But if Batumi sucks, I'll follow them to Tbilisi.



RUSSIAN DUBBED TV BITCHING

The Russian dubbing is the worst I've ever seen. Usually, one person speaking in a monotone doing both sexes parts.

I personally detest dubbing because it strips the actor's personality. Even if I am watching something in Chinese, I prefer subtitled.

Stubbornly speaking Russian... It's almost as if the people in charge of the TV station want to prevent folks from learning another language. I was thinking about this because Andries mentioned that subtitled TV helps a lot with learning a language.



PHILOSOPHY

"There is no adventure in working for someone else, only drugery and security - but that's fine for most people." - Logan Horsford.

Whenever someone asks me 'What sort of music do you like?' my answer is always the same. "None. I'd rather listen to you." Normally, people don't ask that question unless they are planning to subject you to the crap they think of as 'good'. No matter how good you think a piece of music is, no matter how it uplifts your soul - there will be other people who hear it and say it's shit. Music is too individualized to be subjeted to the general asses. It is my belief that public music is a form of noise polution. I'd rather listen to whatever music I like on headphones.



INTERESTING PHRASES

In both Sweden and the Netherlands, when you sit too long, you can say that you've gotten 'wooden ass'. A very strange phrase for Sweden but I could see it in the Netherlands to go with their shoes.



DUTCH CULTURE

"Watching the cat come out of the tree". This refers to the Dutch custom of waiting to see how someone reacts/is/handles things so that they will know how to interact with that person. With each other the Dutch are very direct but they will never tell a foreigner to their face they don't like them.



UKRANIAN CULTURE

Discussing what type of TV shows they like may be deemed 'too personal' of information to divulge by some people. Honestly, I don't know how they make friends - or maybe it's just me. I don't know.



COSTS

Cup of mediocre coffe aboard ship - 8 UAH.
Can of mediocre beer aboard ship - 24 UAH.
Bottle of decent vodka aboard ship - 100 UAH.
Small can of peanuts aboard ship - 24 UAH.
Pepsi aboard ship - 16 UAH.



TRAVELER'S TIPS

If you are not sure of the exact (ie it's not printed on your ticket or for all travel by ship) departure time, do your shoping the night before in case you have to run screaming out of the door like a maniac.

Ships in some parts of the world have narrow gang planks that go onto them. Imagine a ladder. If you can't carry your shit up this, you may be fucked. Try to pack stuff that you can lug up one. If you are carrying a rolling bag up there, be aware you might drop it into the sea and possibly land on your head on the docks after falling ten or more meters.

For rooms and such, an even number of travelers is always best.

After getting clear of the nightmare airports have become, a real Swiss Army Knife seems to be a good investment.

When you're getting onto a boat or long haul transport, always be extra nice to people you meet in the ticket office, waiting room, etc. You will be living in very close quarters with them for several days. If possible, bring food/alcohol in such quantities that you can share it with a large group of people. This helps set the mood for a friendly journey. I'd personally suggest several bottles of very good - but inexpensive alcohol. The problem (for me, and maybe you) of course is the weight of ten large bottles of alcohol - but it will make you very popular. You don't need to bring them out all at once. The big parties are when the boat initially leaves and (I suspect but have not yet experienced) before it docks.

Bring a lot more money for the ship than you think you'll need. All prices are literally x2 to x4 what they were on land. This is what a lack of competition does.

Tobasco or some such spicy sauce may really help allieviate the blandness or otherwise horrible taste of much of the food in Central and Eastern Europe. If you do carry one, be sure to get a bigger bottle than you think you'll need so that you can generously share it with everyone at your table. And, perhaps people from other tables that wander over and request it.

Always try to arrive at a new place during the daytime. Walking around at night with a heavy bag on containing all of your worldly possessions in an unfamiliar place sucks and increases the risk.



TRAVELER'S LORE

[A lot of this came from Andries as he is an extremely experienced traveler.]

Ships have to be completely self reliant. The larger vessles have a machine shop to make parts should something break.

On all Russian transport, it is necessary to know what time it is in Moscow. All Russian transport runs strictly on Moscow time. This time also appears on your tickets.

Some ships update their clocks as they pass into new time zones. Others, like the one I'm on, update to the new local time once they make port.

To measure the speed of a boat, drop something off the front, measure how long it takes to get to the back. [I thought knots had to do with a knotted rope, but I was told the knotted rope is used for measuring depth.]

If you go down stairs and gangplanks of a ship backward, it minimizes the distance you will fall.

According to Inga, it is usually illegal to photograph harbors and train stations. [I'm guessing all transport hubs are included in this.]



PHOTOBUCKET

In an effort to make life a bit easier for those of you who don't know how to see someone's other albums within Photobucket, here is some help:

http://s18.photobucket.com/albums/b138/logan9a/Amsterdam/
http://s18.photobucket.com/albums/b138/logan9a/Amsterdam%20Rail%20N%20Sail/
http://s18.photobucket.com/albums/b138/logan9a/Black%20Sea/
http://s18.photobucket.com/albums/b138/logan9a/Budapest/
http://s18.photobucket.com/albums/b138/logan9a/Germany/
http://s18.photobucket.com/albums/b138/logan9a/London%20England/
http://s18.photobucket.com/albums/b138/logan9a/Moldova/
http://s18.photobucket.com/albums/b138/logan9a/Odessa/
http://s18.photobucket.com/albums/b138/logan9a/Prague/
http://s18.photobucket.com/albums/b138/logan9a/Sarajevo/
http://s18.photobucket.com/albums/b138/logan9a/Sevastopol%20Ukraine/
http://s18.photobucket.com/albums/b138/logan9a/Transnistria/

ON THE BLACK SEA, PART 1

REMINDER - CLICK ON THE TITLE TO GET TO MY PHOTOBUCKET WITH PICTURES OF THE TRIP



DAY TWO (THURSDAY)

I was lying in bed, groggily wondering why I was awake in the midle of the night. My alarm I had set went off telling me it was time to get up, shower and head to breakfast. This is the disadvantage of not having a cabin with a portal - it is perpetual night. I suppose that's much better if you are a night shift worker.

My roommate had left a bag and a pair of leather shoes. I had heard him use the restroom while I was asleep as well. This is the only evidence I've seen thus far of my roommate. I figure that if I didn't see him much all voyage, this could be either a lucky or unlucky thing. [As it turns out, I think it's a lucky thing.] Later, he left his ticket (in Cyrillic) and phone to charge. His bed was not slept in. I haven't a clue if or where he is sleeping. I don't know if he came in while I was sleeping and was disheartened at the noise or if he has some other mysterious schedule he is keeping. Agatha Christie would doubtless make him a red herring in one of her murder mystery books. If she was still alive. Which she isn't. Hence, you won't see him in one of her books. Sorry.

I eventually found my roommate crashed out on his bunk during the daytime with his back to me (Andy Capp style). If he is wanting to sleep in shifts different from mine, I'm totally comfortable with that.

On Western sea going ships, the bar seems to be open from morning till late in the evening. The actual hours it is closed are relatively small. Due to wanting to earn all of the money possible for their wildly over priced goods, the people who run the ship staff the bars pretty much non-stop. This is not the case on the ship I now find myself. There are some hours when only the bar is open. Others when only the dining room is open. Some hours when both are inexplicably closed. It is (again) as though the people have a general concept of capitalism but don't quite get it. Or, the bartender is the only one that works here [Later note: He is... Weird. His name is Oleg and his English is passable with respect to 'bar stuff'.] and needs breaks and sleep. Or is pressed into other mysterious duties.


While on a boat, your choices of things to do seems to be narrowed to the following:

Talk to other people
Play games (usually with other people)
Sit
Sit and stare mindlessly at TV in a language you don't understand
Sit and read
Sunbathing (weather permitting and skin cancer optional)
Sleep

I suppose their are other strange activities you could do. I suppose I could come up with a list of ridiculous things such as sit in the shower for hours, mastrubate wildly and hope your roommate doesn't wander in, exercise, try to take over the ship, take a refreshing dip in the Black Sea and hope you get rescued before you drown, etc - but none of these has any appeal for me.

Naturally, any time you get a lot of people on a ship, you will have some completely out of control kids. These kids like to do things like play kick ball in the common areas, striking random passengers with the ball, bouncing it off of full ashtrays, TV's, etc. The parents seem to watch on rather indulgently. These are the same kind of kids that seem to be getting raised in America where the parents don't spank the shit out of them. The parents don't seem to know what 'preemptive consideration' is. That's what happens when people aren't forced to read this blog.

Eventually, dinner came. I thought that it was bad fish but according to my fellow passengers it was actually bad chicken. I think simply not knowing whether it is chicken or fish illustrates what I think of the food. I think carrying a bottle of Tabasco (big enough to share, of course) would help with the food as would ritualistically beating the cooks after every meal.

After dinner, we went out and watched a brilliant purple and blue sea sunset - the majesty of which my camera utterly failed to capture.

As the sun was setting, we saw the submerged island of Rse'll - sister island of R'yell - emerge like a beheamoth from the cold depths of the black sea. The island was covered with angular buildings of non-Euclidian design. I tried to get the ship to stop but the captain said he had a schedule to maintain so I couldn't stop to attempt to rip a hole in space and time and summon the Elder Gods to enslave humanity. Fortunately, phrases for these things (as opposed to different types of water I want to order) were in my Russian-English phrase book. Unable to bring about the End Times, we chugged on.



DAY THREE (FRIDAY)

I've finally gotten to see my roommate awake, and perhaps cracked the mystery of why he is always gone. He was staggeringly, forget to lock the door, I smell like shit, drunk. I don't recognize him of anyone I've spoken (or attempted to speak) to. It appears he is working on drinking his way heavily across the Black Sea.

I've finished reading the biography on Sean Connery I'd bought and passed it on to Andries. Personally, I thought it was the kind of reading you have to do on a boat. You wouldn't sit through it otherwise. Also, it ended in the 1980's, making the book horribly outdated. [This is written in 2011.] The next book I'll be either re-reading or reading (spotty Logan memory) is Crichton's 'Timeline'. I doubt I'll finish it before we make port. I've heard we may make port either tomorrow morning or tomorrow afternoon but nobody seems sure. I've spent about half the morning and half of the afternoon typing (to here) my notes thus far. Making a blog is difficult.

Andries and Inga keep a blog but their belief is that nobody wants to spend over five minutes reading it - hence they keep it brief. I prefer to go the other way and keep a lot of information in mine for two different reasons. First, this blog is for me as much as it is you, the reader. This is my surrogate memory. If I am old, tired and wanting to relive my adventures I can reread about specifics rather than entries like "Crossed the Black Sea - took three days in a cargo ship." Not really gripping narraitive. Not that I'm saying anything else I write could really be described as 'gripping' but I hope that it does paint an accurate (from my point of view) life aboard an East European ship. An experience unlikely to be had by any of the twenty percent of Americans that actually bother to own a current passport.

For lunch, we again had soup with some sort of dead brown animal in it which was described by my fellow diners as 'more bones than meat'. Since I'm not a big fan of something that looked like road kill with very small bones in my soup, I managed to get rid of most of the animal and just focused on the ever present rice and potatoes that are the standard filler.

The Italians who were sitting at our table agreed that this is the exact sort of food which is available in the afterlife. in one of the two possible destinations, anyway.

This is the best diet food ever. Inga said the cookies were probably good - last year.

The weather has been ideal for the journey. There is no real wind, no waves, the sun is shining and the sky is cloudless. My fellow passengers have kept themselves locked to Russian TV.

My playing of the card game 'Hearts' has gotten much better as we've played it for hours. I would avoid playing Andries in chess as he is a nasty, tricky opponent. And that is in 'speed chess'. I have no idea how nasty he would be if we were doing the boring 'taking forever' chess move thing.

Well, my roommates towel and such is still at it's initial starting location on his bed. this tells me that despite the clothing he presumably brought in this bag, he's choosing not to bath. Kind of a bummer - it's a good reason to travel in even numbered groups.

Andries has fulfilled one of his goals in learning backgammon from someone who spoke no English though I was there giving him what knowledge I had on the game. Who would have thought that when I was learning Backgammon in Blacksburg, VA the first chance I'd really have to use it was a cargo ship plowing through the Black Sea? From the number of Georgians playing it, Backgammon seems popular there. While I have no delusions that I am still very much a beginner, I win an occassional match due to luck. Who knows - perhaps some day I will be in Jamaca and get to play Kevin who initially taught me the game.

This morning, my roommate who had been looking rougher and rougher the longer the trip progressed came to me. He wanted to borrow my key. Oh, hell no. I had to turn in my passport and I didn't want the drunken lout to cost me the passport. I needed that. I took him the two meters to reception. They said to get back your passport, you need to have your key. [Note that later this proved to be a lie.] I figure my roommate wanted his passport back. He had lost his key. I figured rather than having my 'stay drunk and not bathe for the trip' roommate have my key, we'd get a spare from reception. Turns out he'd already lost that one and there was only one spare. No more keys. Weird.

How would I describe Ukranian transport? In a train, a clean white linen cloth over a dirty table. On this boat, a floor clean enough to go barefoot on but food crumbs on the unused chairs.

On shipboard, they have some games to keep the passengers fromm going insane. They have two ancient backgammon boards, a couple decks of cards not quite worn enough to be transparent and the slow opium drip of TV for the mindless. To prevent any possibility of conversation, the TV's are played at monstrous volume.

The ship was registered in Panama. According to Andres, there are a few ports that charge minimal or no tax for flying their flag. Panama (and the Netherlands) are among them.



MAX FROM UKRAINE

I was speaking to Max - his English is excellent. He was saying that he felt life in the USA must be rather boring. Everything is set. In Eastern Europe, every day brings with it a new problem/challenge. There are always new strange laws from the government, a mishutka (small bus) driver who is completely insane, etc that you have to deal with. I told him that it is my belief that in the USA this tedium is what causes us to concentrate on (making and consuming) culture. People get into movies, music, books, video games, TV and such to distract them because they don't have to worry about some new problem/obstacle/challenge on a daily basis.

Max had an unusual opinion on what the best thing about the former USSR was and that was 'children's lives'. Kids were very happy and well taken care of in the USSR. They had free camps, lots of activities, teachers and such. The biggest problem of course is that everyone gets the same status/level/money. You couldn't really get paid a very much more to be a doctor than a factory worker, hence no incentive to excel.

Also, according to Max, some Turkish hostels won't deal with Russians because Russians have what they call a 'White Soul'. The meaning of this seems to be 'party animal'. Oddly though, a lot of Europeans seem to be falling into this same idiotic behavior due to the phenomina of the 'all inclusive vacation' packages. In other words, you pay a fixed amount for your vacation. Whether you drink one beer or one hundred, you aren't getting charged any more or less - hence people tend to go wild.



BLACK HUMOR AND CULTURAL DIFFERENCES

Europeans find it deeply offensive if you joke about accidents they could have. While I was fairly drunk, I made an off joke about Max needing a lifeguard (max is a swimmer). In American, you can cheerfully joke about someone needing to avoid cutting off their hands in a machine they are working with but this is out of bounds in Europe. I'm speculating that this came about due to unsafe conditions, inadequate medical care and perhaps even some sort of superstition - but that's just speculating. Just know that if you use that sort of humor you may as well threaten them.

After that, moods and attitudes cooled distinctly and the evening wound down.



FROM FACEBOOK

I think it was TJ who gave out the link to this wonderful children's book.

PRAGUE: TIPS AND SERVICE

PRAGUE: TIPS AND SERVICE

DISCLAIMER: This (like pretty much everything I write) is an 80% thing. In other words, there have been places with service that really doesn't fit into what follows but they are about 20% of the time...

In most of Europe, they don't seem really do tips often. This is good in that it saves you money but you get shittier service. Note that when they do tips it isn't a percentage, just a small amount of extra coins. For example, we were told a tip of 20 CZK on a 2000 CZK meal is OK. [If you are an American and think the service was indifferent or only slightly bad, this may be considered exceptional and you may wish to tip. See below.]

In Prague, they do tipping but you still get (by American standards) kind of shitty service.

In the subway stations and such, they don't sell all of the available tickets at all windows. Some windows are closed at random, others have a 'be back in a few minutes' sticker in them. Free brochure stands are mostly empty. Oddly enough, the people who made the prices for these are on crack. 1 day is 100 CZK. A 5 day is 500 CZK. Huh? Stupid but not as stupid as a 3 day being 330 CZK. The pricing makes no sense, really, but now you know - just buy one day passes.

According to Pete, in Australia (and the USA for that matter) the streetcars only stop if someone pushes the button indicating that they would like to get off at the next stop. In Prague, it is like a train with very brief stops. At every stop, the doors open and they wait for about 20 seconds before sounding the alarm, closing the doors and moving on. Also, like in the UK, the driver is safely fenced away from the passengers. Pete felt this is to keep anyone else from monkeying around with the controls. I thought it was to keep someone from clubbing the driver, putting on their coat and taking control of the bus/subway/streetcar, looking over his shoulder and yelling "You boys like Mexico?"

In Prague, it is 'service with a frown'. If you get to talking to the wait staff (if they speak English) they can be friendly - but the default setting is a quote from Jana on it: "Why are you talking to me?"

After they take your order and bring your food, do NOT expect them to 'check up' on you and ask "How are you folks doing?" like they do in America. In America, they carefully time it to make sure your mouth is full so that you can do nothing but nod and grunt attempting to dislodge the huge amount of shit that has gotten inexplicably lodged in your mouth by having someone interrupt your grazing. Then, they whisk off before you can clear your mouth in order to request something. My guess is that most wait staff in America (not all, Travis!) simply do not give a shit how you were doing and just want to keep their managers off of their backs. In Europe, you know they usually don't give a shit how you are doing on your meal.

Also as a side note, when you order, you order everything all at once - appetizers and mains. If you order an appetizer they will take your menus away and assume you don't want anything. And usually not care enough to check on you ever again.

If you say 'thank you' when giving them the money, that means keep the change. Never say anything as it may be misinterpreted as 'thank you' such as 'Go die you wretched person'. Instead, just hold up the money and stare beady eyed at them. While they are pausing to see if you can make any noise that could be interpreted as 'thank you', slowly lean back in the chair and cross your arms. You may want to practice this ahead of time to make sure your chair doesn't squeak as that may also be misinterpreted. They may look a bit put out that you didn't give them any tip but the service (almost guaranteed) won't (by American standards) have come close to warranting anything but a savage beating. Jana and Pete have often expressed that they thought the service was acceptable but they are foreigners and not to be trusted with opinions on restaurant service unlike Americans who like to live there and graze almost continuously. We know what good service is and any wait staff who does not live up to our expectations runs the risk of a drive by eating. Hum. Talk of cannibalism makes Logan hungry.

Some places won't even give you fucking tap water - because they make no money on it. I believe that should call for a fine from the owner of the restaurant every time an incident of that type is reported.

A Jana quote on typical Czech service: "Smile from Czech service people - never! i hate them. I hope they come after me so I can punch them! Will you write everything I say? Stop it!"

Some people I've met, like Marek (from Slovakia) who was bar tending, did an excellent job. He actually gave me my first taste of absinthe here. It is fucking moonshine.

FUCK THE DENTIST

FUCK THE DENTIST

Well, I got fucked. Again. When I had set up the dental appointment, I told them that soon I would be out of town and this was the last month I could get in. I got a call on the day of the appointment saying the dentist was sick and the next time they could get me in would be in MAY. Fuck them, I'll get it done overseas. I'll have to check in Czech Republic to see how much a dentist is there. Actually, I asked Jana to make a call as I still don't speak Czech. I know that it will be expensive everywhere west of that. If it's still too expensive in C.R., I'll have to go further east.



PASSPORT TO EUROPE

Watching Samantha Brown now. I'm checking out the one on Munich currently. Another thin good looking announcer - with a nice chest. Initial impressions, she's a bit daffy. We'll see if it gets better. I like the landscape shown thus far. Brings back memories, I can't wait to get back there. I'll write up a review of this series after I've seen some more.



WHAT NEWS DO I RECOMMEND?

If someone is wanting to be entertained by following celebrities and fed mindless garbage the way Americans eat at McDonalds, no - American media is your best choice. If you are wanting actual news, I'd suggest the following places:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/ (England)
http://www.spiegel.de/international/ (German)
http://english.aljazeera.net/ (Arabic)
Unless you are in the same position as I am (very unlikely) all news will just be pretty much 'mindless entertainment'. However, you can get lots of stuff (in English) that isn't slanted by 'American special interest groups'; our standards of journalism have fallen. Do some research into who owns the tv stations, newspapers, radio stations in America. Then do some research to find out who owns those companies. And keep working your way up. Then, look surprised.

Am I saying that it is not OK for anyone but Logan to intake news? Not at all. As anyone who has been reading this blog knows, I'm a big advocate of mindless entertainment. If you want it, chew it up. The problem comes when you believe what they are feeding you without checking other sources. Just the way something is said changes the entire meaning/emphasis. People who watch just the American news then form opinions of it IMO are lazy fuckers who will believe whatever they are told. Go the extra step - check out other newspapers from foreign countries. Pretty much all of them have an English section; if not, there is always google translate.

The reason that I am interested in sucking down some foreign (screw American media) news is that it is extremely relevant to me as I will soon be there. Whether I like it or not, America is very active in world affairs. If they start some shit in a foreign country, that can increase my threat level not only in that country but in other countries that are nearby, etc. I'm doing things like keeping tabs on 'the Arabic situation' to see if/when it is safe to go there.

Most people don't have these kind of immediate concerns. This is why I regard media as pretty much 'entertainment' for the masses. You don't get extra points/money for being 'well informed'. I think it arguable we could substitute the word 'programmed' for 'informed'. Hell, compared to other American news agencies, 'the Onion' actually looks credible!

In conclusion, be careful what you take into your brain; it is probably not helping you.

And, PS: Fuck the dentist.

46 DAYS TO GO

EGYPT

After reading this and seeing "The Obama administration got what it said it wanted when Hosni Mubarak surrendered power." I'm curious. Did the US government somehow overthrow another foreign government? Also, I had no idea we wanted it overthrown. It had been around forever and speaking from my time over there a couple of decades ago it was safe for us. I didn't think we wanted to muck about with it.

Guess it shows what I know about high level politics.



MOVIE TIP - YELLOWBEARD

Not an easy movie to find but if you are fans of Monty Python (or even Cheech and Chong) it is a 'sleeper' film that you are sure to like. Full of great lines and funny scenes. Check it out.



CONSPIRACY THEORIES

I found a list of different ones online - there is some wild stuff in there. Maybe they will be of interest to someone who wants to find a new outlet for their insanity. A current relevant one is on their section entitled 'Coups d'état'. Given some of the news of late, I'm thinking that the list may need to be updated.


MONEY

From this site, some interesting quotes on dealing with money overseas.

On exchanging currency: "The most convenient location (such as at airports, or major hotels) can be the worst rates available. If possible, check the difference between "we sell" and "we buy". When this is more than 10%, you're definitely being ripped off. The best exchanges can go as low as 2%. Also, check if there is an additional commission for each transaction."

Then entire section on 'black market exchange' is worth a read if you are going to that kind of country.

On coins: "You can't exchange coins once you have left a country." - Found that out at my bank. Hopefully, I'll be able to sell some of the Canadian coins I've got to a currency exchange - not sure on that. I will try it as I don't think I'm going to make it back to Canada any time soon. Also, "To avoid accumulating too many coins in the first place, use them as much as possible to pay (instead of notes) during cash transactions." If I can't exchange them, they will be of use in poor boxes, for tips to service personnel (who may have more ability to get them changed than I do) and anyone else I can schloff them off onto.

On 'Carrying money across national borders': "...if you carry large amounts of money (typically more than $10,000 US, Euro, or similar hard corrency) you will need to declare it." - God, I'd love to have that fucking problem.



UPDATED MAP

I've made a new map.


I think it should be pretty self explanatory.

The UK has the £ sign on it to show that they are really expensive to Americans. And everyone else.

Schengen for those just tuning in refers to the Schengen Agreement which allows you to stay inside of any countries within the dark red border for a maximum total (regardless of which countries) for a max of 90 days.

Romania and Bulgaria have a different border on them. I did this to show that they are not yet in the Schengen Agreement, it is pending. I'm not sure if going to them will count against the Schengen time ticker but I'm guessing it won't. I'll have to check closer when I get there - it might be interesting to spend some time in those countries while waiting for my Schengen Agreement time to reset. [You have to be out for three months then you can go back in.]

The countries with flames on them (Tunisia and Egypt) are countries currently in some sort of rebellion. Best to be wary though by the time I'm ready to visit them, they may have calmed down.

The countries with skulls on them. Quite frankly, I'm a bit concerned about my safety. If I had a different passport than a USA one to travel on (God, I'd love a Canadian passport) I might be tempted to get into those but I'm just not sure if the risk/reward ratio is absolutely worth it.

The countries with a guy pointing at his painful ass are - you guessed it 'pain in the ass countries'. From what I've read, these countries are currently (at the time of this printing in 2011) a pain in the ass to visit due to things like a high border cost and low amount of time you can stay there. Some of these countries also require proof you are leaving - like an airline ticket or some such. Honestly, after looking at a lot of the PITA countries, I'm curious as to who would try to stay longer than 90 days and why the heck they would. [Disclaimer on Israel - I know they themselves are not a pain in the ass but if you get their stamp on your passport, other countries won't let you in - you pretty much have to buy a new passport. At this time there isn't a lot I really have a burning desire to see that would justify a $160 cost of replacing my passport and all of the hassle of doing so. So, I'll just stay out of it until I've seen everything else I'm wanting to see or the passport is getting close to expiration. Then, slip in.] It would perhaps be best not to have the border guards from say, Belarius take a look at this map...

The small countries East of Italy and North of Greece are interesting - they might be a way to spend some time before creeping back into the Schengen countries. Sadly, they still have problems with unexploded land mines and such.

After making this map, it seems that there are a couple easy divisions of countries and a big swath of them I could check out if I wanted to get back into the Schengen countries quick.

I'm very curious as to what Georgia has to offer with it's 'we fucking love tourists please come to our country and stay for almost a whole year' visa. Gosh, I wish other countries did that.

I'm very glad that the 'Schengen' thing hasn't spread over more of Europe - it would be a lot tougher to do what I'm going to do if it did. I'm also curious if you can bypass it by purchasing (or getting) a special visa into one of the countries rather than using the Schengen agreement. But, I've got enough of the world to see I'm not too worried about that just yet.

Asian map of visitation will come soon.

The Bag of Doom

Well, my bag arrived today - this is what it looks like:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0013KBWOO/ref=oss_product

Keep in mind that this bag is small enough to be taken onto the plane as a carry on. This bag and my normal carry around bag (and I'm not sure about that one yet) are all I'm planning on taking for a month in Europe. Pretty much everything I've read and listened to all stress the importance of packing light. This is also a good test for 'how long can I live out of a small frigging bag'. I'm thinking that with this and my normal carry around satchel I'd like to try it out and see.

So - what's in the bag? Note that I will be revising this list as time goes on - this is the initial list. Two things I've found helpful in the past for 'big trips'; first - I like to have the bag partially packed up and add stuff to it as I go. Sometimes you'll just have a little thought like "I should take some Q-tips" - toss at least one in right away to remind you. Picture as different countries might call them different things: http://tinyurl.com/23ga4k8 The second tip I heard on one of the various travel podcasts I'm listening to. They say that after you get your bag packed up, go shopping around your hometown with it for an hour or two. Or the day. How do you hold up after that? If it's too heavy, start dumping stuff out. That's brilliant. I also wanted to get a backpack instead of just dragging around my wheeled bag. Backpacks are a lot easier to wander around with outside of the airport. I suppose if someone is really slick and gets some nice aluminum wheels that can be put onto and taken off of their backpack/bag they'd have the best of both worlds.

Here's a partial list of what we've got in so far:

3 sweat pants.

Sources advise not taking jeans for a couple reasons - they are much heavier and also they dry a lot less quickly than other clothing. They also take up a lot more space in the bag. I'm not taking them because I only have one pair and can't remember the last time I wore them instead of my normal sweat pants.

4 t shirts

4 pair of socks & underwear

Bag of miscellaneous toiletries. Now, since fear has caused people to give up their rights: http://www.tsa.gov/ you'll want to make sure that the bag is clear. That's so when they are rooting around in your bag unrolling all of your carefully rolled clothing (yes, roll up your clothing) and messing it about, they can look at and dismiss your toiletries easily instead of up ending the bag and dumping it out into your suitcase.

Electric razor. I recommend on all cords and such, use twistie ties, rubber bands or some other clever thing to make the cords neat. This is partially because of the TSA wanting to muck about with your bag and partially because if you don't it can look like you've got some sort of weird explosive device in your bag and it will get searched beyond the x-ray machine. Which you don't want.

Power converter (for pretty much everywhere)

http://www.walmart.com/ip/Converter-Adapter-Set/10983771

Mine looked less slick than this, came with a bag instead of a box and cost half the price. I've no idea if it works and no way of knowing till I get over there if it will blow up my shit or not. I guess that's the beauty of selling a product like that - by the time someone's pissed off, they're on the other side of the world seething in impotent rage. Sounds like a great product to sell. I mean, even if you're pissed at it, you're not going to remember 'oh it was Protege that sold me this - I'll get them'. No. You're just going to cry yourself to sleep at night. Now one thing I didn't like about it is that it says not to use it on computers and electronics of that nature. Now I ask you, who the fuck wants a power converter that you can't use on that sort of thing? What's the point? For curling irons? For fuck's sake. So, that is a product I really don't recommend just because it is either too shitty to use on your computer or they don't have enough confidence in their product to say 'oh - sure - use it on your computer'. Either way, not happy thus far with it and I haven't even gotten to plug it in anywhere.

All of my clothing is dark colors, fairly somber. I will only be taking probably one shirt that has any writing on it - and that is the shirt that has this on it:

http://tinyurl.com/2e7v5x4

Note that I have personally used that seller on e-bay before and got my shirt freakishly fast. It seems to be of good quality - I've worn it three times or so and it has utterly failed to fall apart. For people who haven't traveled before - I don't recommend bringing any kind of clothing with writing on it. Blending is the key. I am doing it because I am a freak and just like Firefly enough to want to make sure it has more world wide advertising. Don't know - that shirt might end up getting left behind (or in the bag) depending on how I feel.

Extra glasses. Lets face it - if your vision is very bad (as is mine) and your glasses get broken, lost or whatever you are fucked. Proper fucked if your vision is bad enough. So it doesn't hurt to take along extra glasses. You're going to want to put them either in a smaller bag you'll be carrying (like a secure shoulder bag - more on that later) or off to the side in your main bag/backpack. One thing that people don't often think about when they're packing their backpack is just how often they're going to be leaning on it. If you're not sure of the answer, it is a lot. I've seen people with breakable stuff in it trying hard not to lean on it but it is just too handy to do. It's like (if you packed it right) having a big pillow strapped to your back. Of course you are going to bloody well lean on it. Just arrange stuff with that in mind and you'll be OK.

Pad lock. A lot of hostels and such have lockers you can put your shit into. They don't come with the lock - you provide that. If you carry around a combination lock, you don't have to worry about losing your keys. Naturally, I'm a dumbass and got a key lock. I might have to get a new lock.

Cord. A bit of cord comes in useful - drying line, tying up people, hanging stuff off of yourself so you can look like a freak, whatever. Pack some cord. I believe that a lot of the little things (things that don't take up much room or weigh much) can really help out on the trip.

Things I've still got to get:

Hard rubber ball. Heard about this on one of the traveling podcast (I really have no creativity but I do know enough to study before I leave) that many places don't have drain plugs. My guess is that they don't want some dumbass flooding their hostel. The rubber ball works as one but is also multi-function. After I explained to Travis that I could bounce it off of the wall when I was bored, he said it would then roll under the bed - somewhere I couldn't get at it and where it would never be seen again.

Little locks. This is deter would be thieves. You stick them on the zippers of your backpack and it will keep them out. Unless they have a knife in which case you must ask yourself the question - did you bring a small sewing kit?

Extra house key. It is really amazing what you think about when you think "What happens if I lose everything I take?" It could happen - don't go home only to have to pay good money to replace the window of your house after you had to break in. My plan is to well hide the key somewhere in a park near my house (or where ever I don't think thieves will search) so that should I get back and need a key (having lost or had mine stolen) then I can get back into my house. As a side note - don't bring keys you won't need. If you aren't taking your car with you to Europe and you're taking the bus to the airport from your home - you are an idiot if you lug around your car keys. If you do need to bring your car to the airport long term storage, I'd personally hide a copy of the car key no where near my car. Just remember where you hid it. If you get back, still have your keys you took with you - who cares? Ditch the extra key. Hiding it in a magnetized hideaway (something good car thieves with time look for) or under the wheel of your car - again, 'idiot'. If there is any justice in the world, the Mafia will leave a dead body in your trunk.

Now, a bit on bag security. I've had a rather...interesting...period in my formative years and will tell you how pickpockets and bag snatchers work. I want to preface this by saying 'most people aren't use to pickpockets' - especially in the USA. I don't think they even have them in Australia. http://tinyurl.com/3xmbals The reason I mention it for a trip to Europe is they have some there. Your chances of meeting one are pretty low. I have lived in Europe for close to three years (being quite a dumbass, believe me - my excuse is I was young) and have never been pickpocketed. I'm not even sure that all of the people who claim to be pickpocketed were - many could just be idiots who left things lying around. The fact is that they (and other thieves) do exist. So, I'm putting up some stuff that may help.

Grab and run. Literally, they will just grab your bag and run off with it. Solutions, wear it strapped to you. If you are a woman wearing the purse in the 'fashionable' way, http://tinyurl.com/3xsp7p7 then, I'm sorry - your shit is gone. If you have delusions of 'hanging onto it' and such when some maniac grabs it and dashes off, you are probably dead wrong. They usually time it so that your hand isn't clutching it then go for it. That also goes for this silly bint http://tinyurl.com/33bffsk and this one http://tinyurl.com/2vx62nv Gone, gone gone. The best way to carry bags or purses is like http://tinyurl.com/32fxxte Unfortunately, she didn't keep her purse closed with tiny locks so she is getting pick pocketed. Now, if you have a rolling case, I'm thinking that could also be grabbed and gone pretty quick - another advantage for the backpack. When you sit down with your backpack off, do you lean it carefully against your leg or do you wrap a strap around your leg like a python? If you put the bag up in the luggage rack of the train, do you set it there carefully or do you fiendishly attach straps to the rack for the guy who dodges in, grabs it and tries to run out? Do you have enough straps attached so you don't have to worry about them breaking?

Professional pickpocket team. Professionals have three guys in their team. The spotter looks for and finds the targets. They signal the guy who actually picks the pocket. Forget the fancy name for that guy. The third guy is the 'hand off guy'. The pickpocketer either hands (or reverse pickpockets) this guy. That way even if you somehow notice the pickpocket and catch up to him - wallah! He doesn't have the wallet. You must be mistaken. There goes your passport, thanks, we'll sell it for $5000. Chump. Pros are pretty rare. Avoiding them isn't too hard. You just work on looking poor. Have tape put over imaginary holes in your pack, dress way down, don't look like a mark. In my case, this is easy as I *am* poor. Some people will have to work harder at it. Are you wearing a nifty looking wrist watch or a cheap piece of crap? Jewelry? Expensive cameras? While you can't necessarily look as poor as some of the people in countries you go to, you can look more poor than other tourists. Don't take this to the extreme where police try to get you out of the country thinking you are an out of work street person.

Kids! Hate these the most. They mob you and hold up a piece of cardboard under your face so you can't see their busy little fingers get into your pockets and such. Protecting against these (since you can't beat them to death as you should be able to) is harder - zippers and buttons on pockets, things that slow them down are pretty much your defense. You won't run into these except in the most dire third world countries. I'm thinking Asia and Africa may have some of these delightful little bullet catcher wannabes but I would be shocked if we saw any in Europe.

Well, that's all for right now. I will be adding more to my bag (and perhaps subtracting some of what I added!) as time goes on ticking down the last 83 days till the (first) big trip.