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Tuesday, June 7, 2011

DEATH FUCK

Kenny: [Mufffled] Autoerotic asphyxiation? What's that?
Researcher: [Researcher] I don't want to go into too much detail, but you choke yourself with a belt around your neck while masturbating dressed up like Batman or something and you pass out from lack of air and apparently it makes your orgasms super awesome.
Kenny: [Muffled] Really?
Butters: Oh no. I don't wanna have to buy a Batman costume!



TUESDAY

I'm really starting to see the appeal for me of big, busy hostels opposed to small quiet ones. I'm sitting around in Sevastopol TIU hostel and pretty bored. In Odessa, there were more people to hang out with and chat to. I have become a social fucking butterfly. A fairly obscene one. I had come to Sevastopol mainly to get a boat to Istanbul but also to hang out with Adam and Gary. In the next couple of days, I'm going to be going to see some tourist shit with Gary. That should be interesting.

The main tourist shit in Sevastopol includes the big painting thing of the Crimean war - did that - as well as a beach, some Greek ruins and two 'get on the bus and go there' day excursions. One is Bakhchisaray (3 hours each way by bus - ug) and the other is Balaklava (an hour or so each way). Naturally, they also have a good sized market in Sevastopol but markets are a lot less cool when (aside from Pilot G7 pens) you really don't have stuff you need to buy. A note on the markets - the people in many of the former USSR countries have embraced capitalism but really don't seem to 'get it'. You will come across a big section of people all selling the same shit at the same price. Why? They want to hang out with their friends and visit. And their friends all sell the same shit. It would probably be better if the people selling say, cold drinks, distributed themselves throughout the area but - they don't seem to really 'get it'.

So, that's what they have here.

I am planning on doing some mildly illegal stuff while I'm here - mainly running around without my passport (or anything really except enough money to buy some food or sodas) when I go to the beach. Even if I'm with others, I really am not happy leaving my bag of shit on the beach while I frolic in the water. Since what I do probably can't be considered 'swimming' I'm going with 'frolic'.

I've got to say that Gary's offer of going and renting his place in Thailand is pretty damned tempting. I know I'm going to end up in Asia eventually, due to the cost of things and I'd like to stick about Europe for a bit longer. Plus, I'd still like to go to India. But staying in a town whose claim to fame is as a 'sex tourism' spot does have a certain...er...academic interest.

See 'Death Sex' below.

On a different note, Adam noted one of the things I seem to enjoy most is just sitting around talking to people. Hence, I can go to cheap areas and do that...



WAVING

This is a nice story. Thanks to Russ B. from facebook for bringing it to my attention.



DEATH FUCK

Some people bungee jump, some go for death sports. There is a new sport - Death Sex! Find the nastiest, skankiest whore you can with needle marks on her arms and have unprotected sex with her. If you don't catch AID's and die, you win that round. This new sport was come up with by Adam at the hostel.



UKRAINE BUILDINGS

I was wondering who was responsible for fixing the buildings themselves since nobody technically owns the buildings apartments are in. Adam said the Ukrainian government is technically suppose to fix them. Since it is the government, it takes years. In the building the hostel in Odessa is in, they had a leak for three years before the government got around to fixing it. Amazing. That would explain why I saw buildings in Odessa where the roof on the third floor had literally collapsed - but people were still living in the first and second floors.



AMERICANS ABROAD

From people I've talked to (including Gary and Adam) I've found that in general, Americans seem to fit into one of four categories:

Oldsters: These are people on their 'sunset' or 'saga' tours or cruises. They are trying to see the world before death claims their old, wrinkled asses.

College age: These are people who are either going to be starting college soon, are currently in college (a gap year, perhaps) or have just completed college.

Boorish: These are sometimes the kind of creepy couples that have matching track suits - and have their kids wear the same shit. They always think everything should be the same as in America. 'Why isn't this this other way? It is in America!' and so on. "Why don't people speak the same dialect/speed of English as I do?" They don't slow down or alter their speech for foreigners struggling to understand.

Political self exiles: These are the conspiracy theorists who have gotten out of the USA because they have some weird beliefs about it. One world government, Obama's birth certificate, aliens among us, whatever. These are some strange fuckers who (if you are unfortunate enough to get them started) never stop trying to fill your head with shit. I've met some already... They are as messed up as the road warrior queef.

3 comments:

  1. Good read, and great title :D

    ReplyDelete
  2. Do you still fall into the Boorish category or have you stopped all the "Why isn't this this other way? It is in America!" etc?

    ReplyDelete

PICTURES

{{2011}} London, GB | Rail N Sail | Amsterdam, Netherlands | Prague, Czech Republic | Budapest, Hungary | Sarajevo, Bosnia | Romania | Chisinau, Moldova | Ukraine: Odessa - Sevastopol | Crossed Black Sea by ship | Georgia: Batumi - Tbilisi - Telavi - Sighnaghi - Chabukiani | Turkey: Kars - Lost City of Ani - Goreme - Istanbul | Jordan: Amman - Wadi Rum | Israel | Egypt: Neweiba - Luxor - Karnak - Cairo | Thailand: Bangkok - Pattaya - Chaing Mai - Chaing Rei | Laos: Luang Prabang - Pakse | Cambodia: Phnom Penh | Vietnam: Vung Tau - Saigon aka Ho Chi Minh City

{{2012}} Cambodia: Kampot - Sihanoukville - Siem Reap - Angkor Wat | Thailand: Bangkok | India: Rishikesh - Ajmer - Pushkar - Bundi - Udaipur - Jodhpur - Jasalmer - Bikaner - Jaipur - Agra - Varanasi | Nepal: Kathmandu - Chitwan - Pokhara - Bhaktapur - (Rafting) - Dharan | India: Darjeeling - Calcutta Panaji | Thailand: Bangkok - again - Krabi Town | Malaysia, Malaka | Indonesia: Dumas - Bukittinggi - Kuta - Ubud - 'Full Throttle' - Gili Islands - Senggigi | Cambodia: Siem Reap | Thailand: Trat | Turkey: Istanbul | Georgia: Tbilisi

{{2013}} Latvia: Riga | Germany: Berlin | Spain: Malaga - Grenada | Morocco: Marrakech - Essauira - Casablanca - Chefchawen - Fes | Germany: Frankfurt | Logan's Home Invasion USA: Virginia - Michigan - Indiana - Illinois - Illinois - Colorado | Guatemala: Antigua - San Pedro | Honduras: Copan Ruinas - Utila | Nicaragua: Granada | Colombia: Cartagena | Ecuador: Otavalo - Quito - Banos - Samari (a spa outside of Banos) - Puyo - Mera

{{2014}} Peru: Lima - Nasca - Cusco | Dominican Republic | Ukraine: Odessa | Bulgaria: Varna - Plovdiv | Macedonia: Skopje - Bitola - Ohrid - Struga | Albania: Berat - Sarande | Greece: Athens | Italy: Naples - Pompeii - Salerno | Tunisia: Hammamet 1

{{2015}} Hammamet 2 | South Africa: Johnnesburg | Thailand: Hua Hin - Hat Yai | Malaysia: Georgetown | Thailand: Krabi Town | Indonesia:
Sabang Island | Bulgaria: Plovdiv | Romania: Ploiesti - Targu Mures | Poland: Warsaw | Czech Republic: Prague | Germany: Munich | Netherlands: Groningen | England: Slough | Thailand: Ayutthaya - Khon Kaen - Vang Vieng | Cambodia: Siem Reap

{{2016}} Thailand: Kanchanaburi - Chumphon | Malaysia: Ipoh - Kuala Lumpur - Kuching - Miri | Ukraine: Kiev | Romania: Targu Mures - Barsov | Morocco: Tetouan

{{2017}} Portugal: Faro | USA: Virginia - Michigan - Illinois - Colorado | England: Slough - Lancaster

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