HEAVEN AND THE SWISS

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The German group includes the following: Kai, Oliver, Max, Hardy and Vitik (who is actually from Poland traveling on his own).
Note - my memory of exactly who I was drinking with on a given night may be a bit scrambled...

Prior to drinking, we were feeling a bit peckish so we went to a nearby restaurant with the German group to have a Weiss beer. While we waited for our food, a beautiful aerial display of fireworks was set off. According to Lasha, no permits are needed in Batumi to set off fireworks. Hence, whenever some person or organization feels like it, they light them off. This makes for a lot of interesting - although noisy - stuff to see in the city.

After the restaurant, we needed alcohol for a really good drunk. We went to another 'mom and pop' restaurant and were discussing the different options. The owner of the store insisted we taste some vodka from an unlabeled bottle. Naturally, everyone did. I don't think it had anything to do with the different brands we were considering (I think it was Cha Cha - homemade vodka) but we certainly bought alcohol shortly thereafter.

We took our two purchased bottles to the hostel. Lasha, master of hospitality, produced another bottle and a half. There were no survivors.

After a night of drinking,
morning came and I hiked off to find some breakfast. I went to the grocery store. Although it was open, they were unable to do any business for several hours at this busy store - because the cash register was broken. One broken cash register manages to stop the steady flow of customers and the line that is usually at least two deep. If I was the owner, I'd be strangling kittens and farting fire with rage. Maybe he was. The lack of charred felines told a different story. So, I went to one of the hundreds of small 'mom and pop' grocery stores that exist on nearly every block to pick up what I thought were two containers of drinkable yogurt. One was, but the other was an unholy fusion of apple and pineapple. I discovered that not all things with 'apple' in their name really go together.



LASHA FINALLY TAKES A BREAK

Well, I finally think I convinced Lasha that taking a break now and then is OK. Everyone else from the hostel (including Lasha) took off to go clubbing. I'm hanging out in the hostel to keep watch over it and tell any hopeful people that come it is full. I don't think anyone will come but it's still important to have someone around rather than an empty building. I personally would hate to be forced to stay in the hostel 24/7 so I'm glad to give Lasha some free time. Ironically, while I was 'running' the hostel (and by that I mean sitting on my ass watching South Park) one of the other hostel guests told me about a possible job opening that will come soon in a new hostel opening in Batumi. I recalled Adam's words in my mind about keeping yourself open for new opportunities so I said I'd be happy to meet with her and see what's up. I don't know if it will go anywhere or what the offer is but if I end up getting a free bed, food, etc out of it I don't see that as a bad thing. We'll see what happens.



SPECIAL CAMEO APPEARANCE

I got to meet Lasha's friend "So-So" (AKA Joseph). He is a really funny guy who speaks great English. He has a problem in that he has a really big vineyard and a lot of wine that he wants to move. I discussed my ideas with him on it such as 'harvest festivals' and things that tourist and 'tourist workers' would be interested in. We'll see what comes of it.



THE GREAT UNDERWEAR QUEST CONTINUES

I was doing my 'daily constitutional' ie wandering around, usually lost. I was working on talking to people about trying to find a new watch. The one I brought with me is pretty bad and getting worse. I ran into a great guy named Oleg. He is a retired sailor who now runs a small shop in the bazaar which sells children's shoes. His family (or village) owns a vineyard. He offered to help translate for me. After checking a couple of nearby places and not finding what I needed, we went for a ten minute walk (or more) to a different part of the huge sprawling bazaar. Note, this is not the 'big bazaar' - just a local one. After we at last found a watch I asked him where we could get a beer. I had no interest really in drinking a beer but I wanted to thank him for spending so much of his time helping me out. He showed me the place but absolutely refused to let me buy him a beer.

He insisted on buying me one instead.

He even asked if I was hungry. Seeing where this was going, I quickly denied any hunger urges at all least he make me feel more in debt by buying me food as well. Afterward, he took me back to where I came from and gave me the gift of a bottle of wine from his village.

This is the kind of over the top hospitality that makes this a country I'd highly advise travel in.





THE MAD SCOTS

The insane Scottish group consists of Annaka, Hannah, Rebecca and Chris (a guy). With them travels Lilly from England who they were working on converting.


Annaka said that she could really use a weiss beer. Fortunately, I know a restaurant nearby that serves it (cheaper than you can get it in Germany) so I took the group there.

We had a round of beer.

Although I was suppose to be going with Robin (Switzerland) and Stefan (Germany) to the White Room at 17:00 the Scots exercised some sort of mind control on me and I found myself ordering another weiss beer at 16:30.

As I was cutting my visit short with the Scots (and as of yet unconverted English) and making my way out of the restaurant, Robin tracked me down. So, I went back to the hostel with him and picked up Stefan. We went to the White Room. They liked it a lot.




SOMETHING FUN IN BATUMI
I'm guessing this marks the place you're suppose to do it. Or you can be a dick and just keep slowly walking your girlfriend by it...



HEAVEN AND THE SWISS

Switzerland if Logan ran it - or 'another reason Logan is not allowed to run countries'.

While at the hostel in Batumi, Georgia I had the pleasure of meeting Robin from Switzerland. From conversations with him as well as some demented dream I had (which I would guess is sent by God) I managed to piece together the following.

Everyone knows that Switzerland is famous for their knives. The quality and popularity of their ingenious knives is known throughout the world.

Most people have heard of 'William Tell'. Although people think that he used a bow to shoot an apple off of his kid, it was actually a crossbow. William Tell apparently off'ed some guy in the 1500's (read as assassinated with a crossbow) that pleased his countrymen mightily.

What is not known widely is about is the following: God really hated a schmuck named Gessler. Gessler is the guy who threw his hat on top of a pole and told the people to bow to it. This really pissed God off. [It was due to Tell disobeying this order that Gessler imprisoned him then forced him to shoot the apple off of his kids' head or both of them would be put to death.] So, when Tell bumped this Gessler off, God told Tell that he would reward his country - in four hundred years. [People often say it is a divine mystery why God would wait four hundred years while others believe he is a huge procrastinator.] You see, not many people talk about Tell's son. He lived! And more over, he got married and had kids who had kids and so on. The line broadened and changed name several times. Eventually, a person named Wenger was born. It was four hundred years since the Tell's Arrow shot and then the prophecy was completed. God showed Wenger in a vision (as well as some other guy but whatever) what he wanted done. Due to Tell pleasing God so much (God really hated Gessler), Wenger was able to make a device whereby God would know the new chosen and by their carrying of this device they would be permitted into heaven.

And so the Swiss Army Knife was born.

It is usually the duty of the godfather of the child (or his parents or other relatives) to give the child his first Swiss Army Knife. Thereafter, he will bring shame to his family name should he loose, damage or use the saw from the knife.

Without it, God shall not recognize a member of Tell's country and put him in the long line to Heaven. Without this knife, he must take a number just like everyone else.

Should a Swiss person lose his knife overseas, he will not be admitted back into the country because if God doesn't love him, they sure don't.

And this is Robin (who is Swiss) proudly displaying his badge into Heaven. Robin's father is named Walter which is eerily enough William Tell's son's name.



PRICES

Drinkable yogurt, 3 GEL
Shitty juice, 1.4 GEL
White Room for five, everyone stuffed, 34 GEL
White Room for three, everyone stuffed, 21 GEL
Cheap digital wristwatch (which I immediately hand the band cut off of), 10 GEL
German weiss beer, 4 GEL



FOR THOSE JUST JOINING US - PLACES LOGAN HAS BEEN THUS FAR

United Kingdom, Netherlands, Germany, Czech Republic, Slovakia (very briefly), Hungary, Bosnia, Serbia (briefly), Romania, Moldova, Ukraine, crossed the black sea via ferry and Georgia.