Making this blog on Notepad as the internet is mostly down.
Says I've got a lot of bars but in Indonesia - especially on a small island - this is what we call a 'lie'.
Eventually, I remembered getting taught how to tether my phone to create a temporary wifi hotspot. That works. Love my phone.
COUNTRIES IDEALS AND FAST FOOD
It's amazing what you can get out of the way even something simple - like preparing fast food - can tell you about the ideals of a country.
What's Burger King's motto?
In the USA, where individualism is important this is true.
Asia says 'The nail which sticks up gets hammered down'. Japanese proverb and a lovely thing to teach the kiddies.)
Order off the menu. Want extra tomatoes? Too bad - doesn't come with those. No, we won't even take extra money to make it that way. There is a reason our country is poor and we want to demonstrate that.
STUPID IS
Stupid Logan goes to a fast food place while sitting around the airport. Since public masturbation would get me thrown into a cell, better eat something instead. Either way, I get a little joy.
And mess.
While I was at the fast food place I got to see three examples of extreme stupidity. There were more, but these were the ones I excitedly wrote down.
1. After eventually explaining to the girl working the counter what BBQ sauce was and that I'd like some, she said they didn't carry it. "What goes on the chicken nuggets?" Oh - there is BBQ sauce for those but it is impossible to purchase it unless you want the nuggets as well.
2. In India, getting menu 'sets' is extremely common all over the country. Watched the counter girl try to explain - for five minutes - to an Indian gentleman that he had the option of getting fries and a drink with his meal for just a little more money. Eventually this virgin to all that is fast food shook his head and just walked away. Fortunately, he seems to have married someone with a higher IQ as she stepped in and took care of it.
3. When you type an order into the computer, it appears on nifty computer monitors. They were working fine. The folks who make the food had no truck with this 'new fangled gadget' and yelled back and forth several times about the same order until it was prepared. Hate to see what they do during a rush. Of course, nobody thought to drop some fries in the frier while this was going on so those got delivered about the time I'd finished eating the burger. One thing at a time is all they can handle.
NARRATIVE
Getting from the unimaginative airport in Bali back to Kuala Lumpur was not a problem.
You can't check in your bags - or get a boarding pass - until three hours before the plane is ready to leave. This prevents you from entrance into the vaunted inner airport where all the comfortable chairs and less music, screaming babies and narcissistic loud phone users.
The inner courtyard is almost deserted.
At least I got to gorge myself on Johnny Rockets...
The time passed slower than a loading screen. It was like getting groped by eternity. Ever wonder what immortality can feel like?
At this point, I discovered the cool new umbrella I got may actually suck. I like the umbrella because it's an extra three inches or so longer. Which now makes it a 'checked' item. Which gets put in the over sized items bundle.
But it's become my cane.
Eventually, I arrived in Banda Aceh.
Before coming, I'd read on the internet the fare from the airport into the city itself is 100,000 IDR. After taking that long assed drive, it seems 'fair' to me. He even told me by tuk tuk it was three thousand to go from the city to the ferry and five thousand from the city back to the airport. Remember those figures.
Got a taxi from the airport with a guy who didn't seem to tricky and evil and made it to the hotel I'd researched.
Full.
And the backup hotel close by.
Full.
And three other hotels in the area!
Full.
And one had no free wifi in the room. Double fuck you Logan'.
Universe? Is that you? Trying to tell me something?
Looking around the small town thinking uncharitable thoughts about the houses and the corrugated steel and crap look of the place I said 'fuck it'.
Usually a tuk tuk is a motorcycle pulling some sort of wildly unsafe metal cage which has wheels and a couple metal chairs inside. Here, it's almost a side car.
If we get into an accident, I have unimpeded access to the street. This is why normal side cars you sit down low. Here, you sit on level with the driver. Guess I shouldn't have watched that horrific video of motorcyclists getting taken forcefully off their motorcycles. To the tune of Benny Hill.
The ride to the ferry was not a big deal but when I gave the guy five thousand and wanted change he thought I'd lost my mind. Holding it up ahead of the ride and asking if it was correct apparently wasn't. He wanted 30,000 not three thousand. Not a big deal (it's under $3) and the length of the ride justified it. The ferry was 27,000 IDR. On websites they talk a lot about different classes and such. Don't know where that came from and all the seating looked the same to me.
The ferry itself was a couple hours of 'fun' - even got a little sleep on it.
After the ferry dropped us off, I was offered the price of 80,000 to take me to the place I'd written down. Again, the price I'd read about. Normally, two people would sit in the sidecar I was told. "How?" I asked filling it like jello.
We crawled up hills and raced down them. Street markings and other traffic ment very little to the driver. Over an hour later I was deposited but not at my destination.
Oh no.
Where I wanted to go there are no roads.
Begin the game of 'choose your own death march'!
Back in the airport, I'd already begun to stink.
I was pretty ripe.
The trail through the jungle (yes) had been built sometime during the time of the Pharaohs and not repaired since. Since leveling land is difficult they just built it up and down the steep hills.
It was awesome.
Naturally, the place I had read was the 'good one' is at the end of the line.
Just like Colonel Kurtz.
How far could the walk really be Logan? Going to measure it with a GPS later but the locals said one or one and a half kilometers. With all my stuff. Up and down hills. Through the fucking jungle.
Before I go in to detail on the place I found, let me state that this looked like the best of the places I saw. Yes, really.
To restate my earlier position, any time you are near the sea or ocean, all of the buildings are shit. If it isn't, you're paying several hundred dollars a night. "Sure, you are staying in a dilapidated shit box but look at that view!"
There is a hole in my floor to allow mosquitoes to come in to the room. From there, they can fly in through the gaping holes in the mosquito net.
Mosquito netting is very delicate. Every place I've ever been to desperately needs to replace theirs. Including this one.
Tomorrow I'll get more pics of the room.
I do want to apologize in advance though. This is the kind of vacation area most people frankly dream of. I can throw rocks into the ocean from my room. There is interesting coral really close. The only thing lacking is booze. Muslim country.
Says I've got a lot of bars but in Indonesia - especially on a small island - this is what we call a 'lie'.
Eventually, I remembered getting taught how to tether my phone to create a temporary wifi hotspot. That works. Love my phone.
COUNTRIES IDEALS AND FAST FOOD
It's amazing what you can get out of the way even something simple - like preparing fast food - can tell you about the ideals of a country.
What's Burger King's motto?
Disclaimer: They are getting rid of this motto because apparently, fuck your way. The new model should be "Take it our way - like the little bitch you are."
In the USA, where individualism is important this is true.
Asia says 'The nail which sticks up gets hammered down'. Japanese proverb and a lovely thing to teach the kiddies.)
Order off the menu. Want extra tomatoes? Too bad - doesn't come with those. No, we won't even take extra money to make it that way. There is a reason our country is poor and we want to demonstrate that.
STUPID IS
Really didn't like this movie but it is damned quotable...
Stupid Logan goes to a fast food place while sitting around the airport. Since public masturbation would get me thrown into a cell, better eat something instead. Either way, I get a little joy.
And mess.
While I was at the fast food place I got to see three examples of extreme stupidity. There were more, but these were the ones I excitedly wrote down.
1. After eventually explaining to the girl working the counter what BBQ sauce was and that I'd like some, she said they didn't carry it. "What goes on the chicken nuggets?" Oh - there is BBQ sauce for those but it is impossible to purchase it unless you want the nuggets as well.
2. In India, getting menu 'sets' is extremely common all over the country. Watched the counter girl try to explain - for five minutes - to an Indian gentleman that he had the option of getting fries and a drink with his meal for just a little more money. Eventually this virgin to all that is fast food shook his head and just walked away. Fortunately, he seems to have married someone with a higher IQ as she stepped in and took care of it.
3. When you type an order into the computer, it appears on nifty computer monitors. They were working fine. The folks who make the food had no truck with this 'new fangled gadget' and yelled back and forth several times about the same order until it was prepared. Hate to see what they do during a rush. Of course, nobody thought to drop some fries in the frier while this was going on so those got delivered about the time I'd finished eating the burger. One thing at a time is all they can handle.
NARRATIVE
Getting from the unimaginative airport in Bali back to Kuala Lumpur was not a problem.
You can't check in your bags - or get a boarding pass - until three hours before the plane is ready to leave. This prevents you from entrance into the vaunted inner airport where all the comfortable chairs and less music, screaming babies and narcissistic loud phone users.
The inner courtyard is almost deserted.
At least I got to gorge myself on Johnny Rockets...
Clearly, I ordered with my eyes and not my brain. 'Merican style. I ate most of the onions rings and ate less than half of the burger. Pulled off the 'bacon' - it wasn't. $17 of food. Note, there were more onion rings originally... Some have mysteriously disappeared.
The time passed slower than a loading screen. It was like getting groped by eternity. Ever wonder what immortality can feel like?
At this point, I discovered the cool new umbrella I got may actually suck. I like the umbrella because it's an extra three inches or so longer. Which now makes it a 'checked' item. Which gets put in the over sized items bundle.
But it's become my cane.
Eventually, I arrived in Banda Aceh.
Before coming, I'd read on the internet the fare from the airport into the city itself is 100,000 IDR. After taking that long assed drive, it seems 'fair' to me. He even told me by tuk tuk it was three thousand to go from the city to the ferry and five thousand from the city back to the airport. Remember those figures.
Got a taxi from the airport with a guy who didn't seem to tricky and evil and made it to the hotel I'd researched.
Full.
And the backup hotel close by.
Full.
And three other hotels in the area!
Full.
And one had no free wifi in the room. Double fuck you Logan'.
Universe? Is that you? Trying to tell me something?
Looking around the small town thinking uncharitable thoughts about the houses and the corrugated steel and crap look of the place I said 'fuck it'.
Usually a tuk tuk is a motorcycle pulling some sort of wildly unsafe metal cage which has wheels and a couple metal chairs inside. Here, it's almost a side car.
If we get into an accident, I have unimpeded access to the street. This is why normal side cars you sit down low. Here, you sit on level with the driver. Guess I shouldn't have watched that horrific video of motorcyclists getting taken forcefully off their motorcycles. To the tune of Benny Hill.
The ride to the ferry was not a big deal but when I gave the guy five thousand and wanted change he thought I'd lost my mind. Holding it up ahead of the ride and asking if it was correct apparently wasn't. He wanted 30,000 not three thousand. Not a big deal (it's under $3) and the length of the ride justified it. The ferry was 27,000 IDR. On websites they talk a lot about different classes and such. Don't know where that came from and all the seating looked the same to me.
The ferry itself was a couple hours of 'fun' - even got a little sleep on it.
After the ferry dropped us off, I was offered the price of 80,000 to take me to the place I'd written down. Again, the price I'd read about. Normally, two people would sit in the sidecar I was told. "How?" I asked filling it like jello.
We crawled up hills and raced down them. Street markings and other traffic ment very little to the driver. Over an hour later I was deposited but not at my destination.
Oh no.
Where I wanted to go there are no roads.
Begin the game of 'choose your own death march'!
Back in the airport, I'd already begun to stink.
"...Why do poor people smell like sour milk?" - Eric Cartman
I was pretty ripe.
The trail through the jungle (yes) had been built sometime during the time of the Pharaohs and not repaired since. Since leveling land is difficult they just built it up and down the steep hills.
It was awesome.
Naturally, the place I had read was the 'good one' is at the end of the line.
Just like Colonel Kurtz.
How far could the walk really be Logan? Going to measure it with a GPS later but the locals said one or one and a half kilometers. With all my stuff. Up and down hills. Through the fucking jungle.
Before I go in to detail on the place I found, let me state that this looked like the best of the places I saw. Yes, really.
To restate my earlier position, any time you are near the sea or ocean, all of the buildings are shit. If it isn't, you're paying several hundred dollars a night. "Sure, you are staying in a dilapidated shit box but look at that view!"
There is a hole in my floor to allow mosquitoes to come in to the room. From there, they can fly in through the gaping holes in the mosquito net.
Mosquito netting is very delicate. Every place I've ever been to desperately needs to replace theirs. Including this one.
Tomorrow I'll get more pics of the room.
I do want to apologize in advance though. This is the kind of vacation area most people frankly dream of. I can throw rocks into the ocean from my room. There is interesting coral really close. The only thing lacking is booze. Muslim country.
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