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Tuesday, May 5, 2015

KILL ALL HUMANS - BENDER

FAT KIDS

Because Europeans think I'm exaggerating.  

I'd like to have random readers send me pics of fat American kids to show it is an epidemic, but we have so many perverts (and suspected ones, and overly paranoid and protective parents) that taking a picture of someone else's kid would immediately get the cops called in.  If you are not white, the police then may shoot you.

Note that I have no clue where these kids are but the language is showing probably not in the USA.  Looks like Thai or Cambodian, perhaps.  [Later edit:  One of my friends fluent in the language said the picture is actually from the Republic of Georgia!  Surprised me.]



STORIES FROM UBUD

The invasive passive aggressive hippies:

Every now and then I like to stop and eat somewhere a bit nicer.  While it is possible to stick to the one to three dollar meals, every now and then you have to go nuts and get a five to ten dollar meal.  Mind you, I don't make a habit of it but every few days it is a nice treat.

Sitting around a bit nicer restaurant than what I am use to when suddenly two bongo drum wielding hippie fashion statement losers enter, sit down and begin to play.  To me, starting up noise where there was none before is very invasive and selfish.

Not this one but the 'hippie uniform' makes them pretty interchangeable.   This is a miscellaneous dirty hippie.

The customers all ignored them.  The Thai women running the restaurant didn't want any trouble.  In the USA, a fat guy wearing a wife beater T-shirt would have brandished some sort of firearm to drive off the hippie menace.  The women just looked embarrassed.  After it became obvious the two hippies weren't going to stop banging on their drums they turned off the restaurant music.

After a song which might have gotten them run out of even Burning Man, one of the hippies went around with an upturned bongo drum to collect money.  Due to the 'gosh I love to murder dirty hippies' look, he didn't approach me but his collection took in ...nothing.

The hippies went away with a shouted 'fuck you!' and the music was turned back on.

XXXL?  Same color?  Yes, I would totally wear this shirt all over the world.  If you want to get one (for yourself - sending me clothing is stupid expensive) the only website I know of is here.  If you decide to get yourself one of these and find other websites, just put them in the comments below.



WALKSIES!

People say 'walksies' to their dogs.  I say it to myself to attempt to get motivated.  When it's not bucketing down rain or looking like that is coming soon, I try to get out and move my fat ass around.  It's not really a walk so much as a sweat drenched stagger with frequent stops for sitting and complaining while drinking something cold and smoking.

If you get a bit from the usual tourist area of Ubud, the land of the touts ("Hey mister, you want taxi?") are left behind.  Friendly, smiling natives (who don't speak English) and are a big part of why people often come to Bali are encountered.  If you travel (stagger, stagger, stagger...) further you enter a new zone...

Welcome to the 'what the fuck are you doing here' zone...

This is where very few people speak English and they look at you like 'did you get dropped off here and then your driver took off'?  'Were you robbed?'  'Did the family you use to live with decide to release your fat ass back into the wild?'

After seven to nine kilometers my legs were telling me that if they were forced to continue carrying my 'Santa got nothing on me' gut around snapping off was an option, I got a motorcycle taxi.



COCKFIGHTING

Dani's Homestay is one of the few places I'd be happy to return to over and over.  Like everywhere else in the world it has disadvantages.  One of the minor disadvantages is that it is not easy to find.  You have to go through some alleys to get to it.

Or out of it.

Down one of the alleys I encountered a group of men several of whom each had their own rooster.

One called to me "Cockfighting!"  The voice tone made me think he was wanting to shock me.


If it had been kids fighting to the death with hook knives, that would have shocked me.

If the roosters had big hook knives strapped on, that would have shocked me.

If the men were using their actual cocks instead of roosters to fight, that would have shocked me.

My answer of "I know!" seemed to deflate him.

Going to have to step it up quite a few notches if you want to shock Logan.  The stuff I've seen...

For the more mild mannered among you who want to condemn cockfighting, I will put in a couple extra details that will help soothe your pansy asses.

1.  They humans weren't strapping on the barbs and such that makes cockfighting really dangerous to the birds.  It was more of a 'squabble'.

2.  If you object to cockfighting, you've obviously never lived near roosters.  After you do for a couple years you may change to a 'kill all those sonofabitches' mindset.

And this will appear to be a bit of good natured fun.



VIDEO GAME REVIEW

Yes, I'm behind the times and have just started playing "South Park - the Stick of Truth"

Not a lot of video games where you can watch things like this happening to your character...

Good stuff:  It is South Park.  If you like South Park, you'll like the dialogue and such.  Turned based combat and it actually seems to work fine in this game.  It is interesting to wander around the town and loot it.  Questing system seems fine and interesting.  The back story (extensive) of South Park is in the game.

Bad stuff:  The retarded system of save points is an unnecessary pain in the ass which will make it more difficult if you want to later try a different character class (like 'the Jew').  Also, there is no way to remap your keys.  I've checked out several forums on this and a) everyone hates both and b) the company that made the game has your money and doesn't care.  Missing an arm?  Fuck you - you don't need to remap your keys you commie lefty!



TRAVELER'S TIP - INDONESIA

Bring extra dental floss if you use it.  They don't here and it is freakishly ($20) expensive.


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PICTURES

{{2011}} London, GB | Rail N Sail | Amsterdam, Netherlands | Prague, Czech Republic | Budapest, Hungary | Sarajevo, Bosnia | Romania | Chisinau, Moldova | Ukraine: Odessa - Sevastopol | Crossed Black Sea by ship | Georgia: Batumi - Tbilisi - Telavi - Sighnaghi - Chabukiani | Turkey: Kars - Lost City of Ani - Goreme - Istanbul | Jordan: Amman - Wadi Rum | Israel | Egypt: Neweiba - Luxor - Karnak - Cairo | Thailand: Bangkok - Pattaya - Chaing Mai - Chaing Rei | Laos: Luang Prabang - Pakse | Cambodia: Phnom Penh | Vietnam: Vung Tau - Saigon aka Ho Chi Minh City

{{2012}} Cambodia: Kampot - Sihanoukville - Siem Reap - Angkor Wat | Thailand: Bangkok | India: Rishikesh - Ajmer - Pushkar - Bundi - Udaipur - Jodhpur - Jasalmer - Bikaner - Jaipur - Agra - Varanasi | Nepal: Kathmandu - Chitwan - Pokhara - Bhaktapur - (Rafting) - Dharan | India: Darjeeling - Calcutta Panaji | Thailand: Bangkok - again - Krabi Town | Malaysia, Malaka | Indonesia: Dumas - Bukittinggi - Kuta - Ubud - 'Full Throttle' - Gili Islands - Senggigi | Cambodia: Siem Reap | Thailand: Trat | Turkey: Istanbul | Georgia: Tbilisi

{{2013}} Latvia: Riga | Germany: Berlin | Spain: Malaga - Grenada | Morocco: Marrakech - Essauira - Casablanca - Chefchawen - Fes | Germany: Frankfurt | Logan's Home Invasion USA: Virginia - Michigan - Indiana - Illinois - Illinois - Colorado | Guatemala: Antigua - San Pedro | Honduras: Copan Ruinas - Utila | Nicaragua: Granada | Colombia: Cartagena | Ecuador: Otavalo - Quito - Banos - Samari (a spa outside of Banos) - Puyo - Mera

{{2014}} Peru: Lima - Nasca - Cusco | Dominican Republic | Ukraine: Odessa | Bulgaria: Varna - Plovdiv | Macedonia: Skopje - Bitola - Ohrid - Struga | Albania: Berat - Sarande | Greece: Athens | Italy: Naples - Pompeii - Salerno | Tunisia: Hammamet 1

{{2015}} Hammamet 2 | South Africa: Johnnesburg | Thailand: Hua Hin - Hat Yai | Malaysia: Georgetown | Thailand: Krabi Town | Indonesia:
Sabang Island | Bulgaria: Plovdiv | Romania: Ploiesti - Targu Mures | Poland: Warsaw | Czech Republic: Prague | Germany: Munich | Netherlands: Groningen | England: Slough | Thailand: Ayutthaya - Khon Kaen - Vang Vieng | Cambodia: Siem Reap

{{2016}} Thailand: Kanchanaburi - Chumphon | Malaysia: Ipoh - Kuala Lumpur - Kuching - Miri | Ukraine: Kiev | Romania: Targu Mures - Barsov | Morocco: Tetouan

{{2017}} Portugal: Faro | USA: Virginia - Michigan - Illinois - Colorado | England: Slough - Lancaster

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