Monday, May 18, 2015



Tomorrow, I'll be leaving Bali and decided scribing my feelings would be a good wrap.

Coming to Bali to recover from the dread Dengue fever which had wracked my body with deathly illness and my mind with the fever bright visions was the tonic needed.  If my body were a temple, worshipers would still think some throw pillows and Molotov cocktails would remodel it nicely.  Doctors condemn my lifestyle but are baffled as to why my liver and kidneys do not show any stress or exploded like hand grenades.

Looking at this pic makes me want to rub my nipples.

After less than a month here, even the taxi drivers are starting to ask "Exercising?" rather than mindlessly saying "taxi?"  They've come to grips with the fact they will never get to rob me as they do other tourists.

Though anyone in shape would laugh at my puny six kilometers of walking I've laboriously built back up to, I'm happy to shuffle that far.  According to my phone, my moving speed averages at three kilometers per hour for those who wish to try it at home.

Not to downplay the Bataan Death March but I've got a good imagination and feel a bit like that if I do more than ten kilometers.

Though Ubud has a lot to see, walking here isn't really advisable.  You are lucky to get a sidewalk chalked full of pit traps and ankle twisters.  Better than the side of an extremely narrow road with cars moving fast on blind turns and scooters attempting to pass them without concern of safety.

Using this pic I found on the internet.  Though photoshopped, the driver looks happy and a dog is driving a car.  When you are either killing people using a motorized vehicle - or getting killed by one - happy pictures are important.

It's not ideal for walking here.

After a month, you settle in to a place.  Your possessions get spread throughout like children's toys.  Fortunately, it only takes an hour to pack everything.  Unlike the people who live in houses or apartments, I don't have the clutter of a lifetime to slow me.  Too much detritus.

With as little stuff as I have, yes, most people do appear to be hoarders to me...

Feeling rejuvenated, it is time to do something a little harder.  Bali is a common stomping ground for tourists, even those as low as the hipster.

The place less visited awaits on the morn.



From this excellent website, I arranged countries in order of restaurant prices.  Then, I commented on them.



So I was running some sort of inter galactic hotel/guesthouse/hostel.

Working on slowly seducing some sweet young thing.

Could speak all of the languages in the world but not sure how.

Problems came when some military guys on leave came in to town.

Encountered them while out getting food at a restaurant.

They wanted my cigarette butts.

Needed them for the 'war effort'.

They told me why, but it just wouldn't stick in my brain.

Because it's classified.

One of the lady soldiers wanted some cigarette butts but with some cigarette left on them so that she could smoke them down.

"Well, why do you keep calling them butts then?"  Chimed a different soldier.  "Don't call them butts."

The commander was a creepy, tough, stalk the guy who might take my daughter to the prom, knife him and hide the body so it will never be found kind of guy.

"We're not unreasonable - we can even buy them.  How much do you sell them for?"

One hundred fifty five - which is way above the going rate, I know.  But you have to remember we have an intergalactic place.  We get people from all over.

(Commander looks creepy and dangerous)

"You know what?"  I say  "We'll just give them to you.  We don't have many left.  I've got like seven left back at my place.  You say the word and I'll go get them.  It's only a few blocks away.  Just say the word and I'll go get them."

"That won't be necessary." Says the creepy commander in a voice that says he will get me back if it's the last thing he ever does.

I find less than a half dozen there and give them to him knowing he is already plotting revenge.  The female soldier sulks because she wanted to smoke a couple of the butts.

I wake up thinking I need to get back to my place and make sure we've got a resell license and that I'm getting drafted to go fight the aliens soon.  Maybe I need to flee?  Or get final revenge on the creepy commander?

Dreams that make you say "Jesus, my brain may be broken."


One of the nice things about taking a brief nap is the chances of remembering your dreams goes up.

In my dream, I was writing an autobiography and it started with this:

"You owe it to your children to torture them.  You need to do stuff that would have been widely condemned at the Nuremberg trials.  Psychological manipulation, suffering, fear all need to be inflicted with such sadism and cruelty it would make Charles Manson blush.

If your children ever become famous enough to write an autobiography, it will make great reading.

Sadly for the reader, my parents didn't do any of these things so my autobiography will be a bit dull."


This one is from Eric H who I'd first met back in the very old days when I was in the military.


According to a couple tourists from New York I chatted with, having about three thousand dollars for a month in SE Asia is a good amount to go for.  This includes airfare out of the US (though you may not wish to return) as well as 'security money'.

From Bob B., here is a great article on bits of etiquette from a few countries.


Review of Euro Truck Simulator 2 demo:

After half an hour of messing around with it, deleted that crap.

The graphics were pretty good but the AI of the NPC's was shit.  Sure, some of the cars I can see trying to 'carry on'.  There are a lot of idiot drivers out there.  But if you saw a big rig either piloted by a mad man or some sort of retarded monkey, would you continue to drive as though everything was OK?  No.  And not once did the police seem to care about what I did, even when I'd bash an occasional car off the road.

Bashing cars off the road, not much fun either.  No Hollywood explosions or bodies getting tossed out.  Things we've come to expect (in defiance of reality) in the USA because we love gore.  So long as only a certain amount of nudity (and absolutely no penis) is shown, having blood and guts is fine.

The controls are pretty shit but it was just as confusing and irritating as driving a truck would be IRL.  Going backward, complete nightmare - just like real life.

Not seeing a lot of 'fun' in delivering packages back and forth especially when you have to worry about getting tickets and such.  I'd personally prefer something like the old fashioned 'car wars' computer game from the ancient days where you did have cargo but it was a bit more 'arcade' feel and people were trying to kill you and you could kill them.

Or a space game.

I'd rather worry about 'pin point' driving only during small amounts of time like combat rather than 'I'm going to be driving down this highway for a long time with a clumsy trailer on the back and need to pay attention the whole time'.  That's what this game offers.

(If anyone knows of a free demo or free game like what I was talking about above, please let me know...)


Fuck the other travel blogs that don't show the prices of things.  That always pissed me off.

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