YES AMERICA, THERE ARE OTHER COUNTRIES
Thanks to Travis G for that wonderful title.
THE AMAZING 400TH BLOG POST
For those of you just joining us, this is our 400th blog. That averages out to about 100 posts per year of the four years I have been continuously traveling. I would like to say 'thank you' to all of the fans of the blog and 'eat a dick' to all of the people who tell me that ten posts does a blog make.
Newer readers may think we're going to be doing something special and magical for the long awaited 400th post.
They would be wrong.
Sadly, life doesn't work like that and since I'm not Fox News, I don't just make shit up.
Sorry. [Editor: This is clearly a lie as he makes shit up later in the blog. Watch for it! He blames the whiskey.]
On a more serious note, I'd like to thank all of the loyal readers that are still reading this. Mainly because I can't swear at those who don't read it. To all of the new readers, I hope you enjoy this gritty look at 'how things really are for travelers' - at least from Logan's perspective.
THE CRAZY LADY WHO LIVES BEHIND MY ROOM
She's been getting louder. I wandered around looking for a different room. At the same price (50 MYR) I can get a shitter room. Yes, shittier than this decent room with my own madwoman out back.
From time to time, the neighbors here get sick of her and call the police. They don't do anything. In the past, they've even called the Malaysian equivalent of 'social services'. They came and collected her and she went to a place where she received the help she needs. Probably medicine.
This cured her so they let her leave.
In no time she was back in the alley putting worms into her hair.
And annoying Logan. (Yes, poor Logan. I know.)
Talking to the desk clerk it appears that in a couple days a room further away from 'crazy pants' will open up. I'll go take a look at it. [Note, this didn't happen. They really don't care so long as they get paid at cheaper hotels.]
Till then, I get to hear her ranting at the voices in her head.
If it gets too annoying, I'll just go live in Chinatown in KL and be able to bitch about the prostitutes and such there I suppose.
Or, might just get that plane ticket (there and back again) to Indonesia and go see what's happening there.
Could go to Korea but the cost does worry me a bit there.
Realizing the crazy lady does give me quite a bit to write about in the blog, I know part of me should thank her loud ass. "Excuse me, but could you be crazier in a more quiet fashion?" Don't see that working.
If I can find a way to mitigate the crazy, I might just stay here a bit longer.
In San Francisco they sometimes use water to keep the homeless off the stairs of places like churches. Because everyone knows God hates the homeless.
Sometimes, acid is instead used. One homeless man was hosed down with acid. The church assumed this homeless man named Gordon had been killed. Some people were happy when they discovered he was indeed still alive. [Editor: Three unrelated things and a healthy dose of lying just to be able to finish it up with the 'Gordon's Alive' video? You've been watching that too often recently. Suggest cutting back. Also, remember you are NOT Fox News.]
CHINA AND THANK YOU PRESIDENT OBAMA
Yes, Obama actually did something which directly helped me. First time from any president. Go him.
It is now much easier to get a visa to go to China.
They still have some weird rules and I'm not sure what I can actually get but if I end up hanging out in Kuala Lumpur, it might be worth it to go to the Chinese embassy to consult.
As you can see in the picture above, any visa for US citizens costs the same. Why wouldn't someone want to get the multiple entries for ten years? I'm thinking they might say "Despite it costing the same, we will only issue you this lesser visa" - but I could be wrong. The webpage this is from is here.
Note that I found out China is more expensive even than Malaysia. I've said it before and I'll say it again. And again. I have no problem going to a fucked up country but when it is expensive what is the fucking point? I can go somewhere nice 'for expensive'.
KUALA LUMPUR
This is an expensive city and finding a fairly cheap hotel (or even hostel) which isn't a complete horror show took some doing.
The best value for money I could find is about 60 MYR but it isn't the kind of place I'd want to stay for long.
Checking on hotels near the airport, change the same price into USD. For some of the airports double it.
My best bet would be busing to KL, going straight to the airport and sitting around for a few hours waiting for my flight?
"Oh, Logan - don't you want to see Kuala Lumpur?"
As tempting as yet another 'they kind of all look the same' glass and steel city is, I'd rather go to a smaller place that costs significantly less money and is more interesting.
ENGLISH
Two things. First, there is a great chance here of finding people who not only speak some English but fluently, though heavily accented. Second, English in this country is actually required on some official government forms.
That's why when I run in to people from here who don't speak it, this always comes to mind.
SPEAKEASY
"The Speakeasy" is not it's official name. Not sure if it has one. However, given the 'grey market' ('black market'?) nature of the business, I figured 'speakeasy' fit.
Because both tourists and locals freely mix, it is a great place. Well, that and cheap booze.
Sometimes, there are tons of people that flood in. One of the tourists wanted to try to get everyone into one big group. He had them sit in a huge circle.
I'm thinking "This is lame, I can't even hear people from the other side of the circle."
Got my chair into the middle and started working my way around the circle.
Fuck thinking 'inside the box'. Or, in this case, the circle.
SHOPPING
There is a huge tower which would be absolutely fabulous to go up and take a long majestic look at the city. In 2017, you might (might) be able to do that. Because they are 'refurbishing' it. Better than it collapsing, I guess.
Around the base are three malls connected by bridges. The stores in them range from the guy with a table of crap to modern stuff you see in 'westernized' countries.
The shops are all manned by phone zombies who seem to have no skills outside of playing with their phone and express heavy annoyance when taken away from their phone to deal with customers.
Carefully questioning fat natives revealed two stores which had clothing huge enough for even me. Needless to say I was excited.
After spending time rousing the zombies, I managed to buy a pair of shorts. Sounds simple for other people but for me to get some that actually fit is not easy.
The shorts themselves can be seen above in the picture which I'm surrounded by other travelers. These were the least messed up looking shorts I was able to find. Asian fashions...woohoo...
WHILE SHOPPING
Be sure to try out these massage chairs.
Here is how much they cost.
Totally...worth...it...
At some point, I'm going to go there to just spend an hour in one. Five and a half dollar per hour entertainment I can do for an hour.
VIDEO
The Malaysian reincarnation of Elvis belts out one of his numbers. (Note, I apologize how dark it is. My cheap camera doesn't like the night.)
COSTS
Aside from drinking, I've gotten my costs down to about $25 per day. Drinking could add another $6. Not bad for several hours of entertainment talking to interesting people but still a significant addition.
Excellent Indian meal, 12 MYR
Scooter rental, 30 MYR or 60 MYR, depending on the horse power.
Camera Museum, 20 MYR. (No, I didn't go. Cared more about having 20 MYR than seeing cameras.)
Three mimosas and a paper packet of rice, 3.50 MYR.
Thanks to Travis G for that wonderful title.
THE AMAZING 400TH BLOG POST
For those of you just joining us, this is our 400th blog. That averages out to about 100 posts per year of the four years I have been continuously traveling. I would like to say 'thank you' to all of the fans of the blog and 'eat a dick' to all of the people who tell me that ten posts does a blog make.
Newer readers may think we're going to be doing something special and magical for the long awaited 400th post.
They would be wrong.
Sadly, life doesn't work like that and since I'm not Fox News, I don't just make shit up.
Sorry. [Editor: This is clearly a lie as he makes shit up later in the blog. Watch for it! He blames the whiskey.]
The Simpsons make a big hullabaloo about their four hundredth episode so I suppose I can at least include some fanfare.
On a more serious note, I'd like to thank all of the loyal readers that are still reading this. Mainly because I can't swear at those who don't read it. To all of the new readers, I hope you enjoy this gritty look at 'how things really are for travelers' - at least from Logan's perspective.
THE CRAZY LADY WHO LIVES BEHIND MY ROOM
She's been getting louder. I wandered around looking for a different room. At the same price (50 MYR) I can get a shitter room. Yes, shittier than this decent room with my own madwoman out back.
From time to time, the neighbors here get sick of her and call the police. They don't do anything. In the past, they've even called the Malaysian equivalent of 'social services'. They came and collected her and she went to a place where she received the help she needs. Probably medicine.
This cured her so they let her leave.
In no time she was back in the alley putting worms into her hair.
And annoying Logan. (Yes, poor Logan. I know.)
Talking to the desk clerk it appears that in a couple days a room further away from 'crazy pants' will open up. I'll go take a look at it. [Note, this didn't happen. They really don't care so long as they get paid at cheaper hotels.]
Till then, I get to hear her ranting at the voices in her head.
If it gets too annoying, I'll just go live in Chinatown in KL and be able to bitch about the prostitutes and such there I suppose.
Or, might just get that plane ticket (there and back again) to Indonesia and go see what's happening there.
Could go to Korea but the cost does worry me a bit there.
Realizing the crazy lady does give me quite a bit to write about in the blog, I know part of me should thank her loud ass. "Excuse me, but could you be crazier in a more quiet fashion?" Don't see that working.
If I can find a way to mitigate the crazy, I might just stay here a bit longer.
Not her - note this is an entirely different crazy woman.
In San Francisco they sometimes use water to keep the homeless off the stairs of places like churches. Because everyone knows God hates the homeless.
Sometimes, acid is instead used. One homeless man was hosed down with acid. The church assumed this homeless man named Gordon had been killed. Some people were happy when they discovered he was indeed still alive. [Editor: Three unrelated things and a healthy dose of lying just to be able to finish it up with the 'Gordon's Alive' video? You've been watching that too often recently. Suggest cutting back. Also, remember you are NOT Fox News.]
Well, it does make people too stupid to use the internet happy I suppose. "You have to keep track of what's going on!" Yeah, right.
CHINA AND THANK YOU PRESIDENT OBAMA
Using this picture is probably as close as I will ever get to having a beer with Obama.
Yes, Obama actually did something which directly helped me. First time from any president. Go him.
It is now much easier to get a visa to go to China.
"Yes, Rogan come in to my web. I've been waiting for you, you so slow and fat! How you get so fat? You think you Buddah? You no Buddah! Die fatboy!" - Courtesy of Chinese Consulate.
They still have some weird rules and I'm not sure what I can actually get but if I end up hanging out in Kuala Lumpur, it might be worth it to go to the Chinese embassy to consult.
And thank you Mr. Ambassador.
As you can see in the picture above, any visa for US citizens costs the same. Why wouldn't someone want to get the multiple entries for ten years? I'm thinking they might say "Despite it costing the same, we will only issue you this lesser visa" - but I could be wrong. The webpage this is from is here.
Note that I found out China is more expensive even than Malaysia. I've said it before and I'll say it again. And again. I have no problem going to a fucked up country but when it is expensive what is the fucking point? I can go somewhere nice 'for expensive'.
KUALA LUMPUR
This is an expensive city and finding a fairly cheap hotel (or even hostel) which isn't a complete horror show took some doing.
What a creepy fucking kid. Note to our readers, if any of your kids are this creepy, please send in their pictures. We'll get them into the blog. Note, if they are actually 'cute' and you are trying to pass them off as creepy we will ignore or mock you. Nobody cares about your cute kids. Only your creepy little spawn of Satan pyro kids.
The best value for money I could find is about 60 MYR but it isn't the kind of place I'd want to stay for long.
Checking on hotels near the airport, change the same price into USD. For some of the airports double it.
My best bet would be busing to KL, going straight to the airport and sitting around for a few hours waiting for my flight?
Why no officer, I wasn't slitting my wrists in boredom.
"Oh, Logan - don't you want to see Kuala Lumpur?"
As tempting as yet another 'they kind of all look the same' glass and steel city is, I'd rather go to a smaller place that costs significantly less money and is more interesting.
ENGLISH
Two things. First, there is a great chance here of finding people who not only speak some English but fluently, though heavily accented. Second, English in this country is actually required on some official government forms.
That's why when I run in to people from here who don't speak it, this always comes to mind.
SPEAKEASY
"The Speakeasy" is not it's official name. Not sure if it has one. However, given the 'grey market' ('black market'?) nature of the business, I figured 'speakeasy' fit.
Because both tourists and locals freely mix, it is a great place. Well, that and cheap booze.
Sometimes, there are tons of people that flood in. One of the tourists wanted to try to get everyone into one big group. He had them sit in a huge circle.
I'm thinking "This is lame, I can't even hear people from the other side of the circle."
Got my chair into the middle and started working my way around the circle.
A picture taken as it happened. Photo credit to Josi H. and a big thank you.
Fuck thinking 'inside the box'. Or, in this case, the circle.
For those who don't know - but care - I believe the red arrow points to about where the watering hole is.
SHOPPING
There is a huge tower which would be absolutely fabulous to go up and take a long majestic look at the city. In 2017, you might (might) be able to do that. Because they are 'refurbishing' it. Better than it collapsing, I guess.
Around the base are three malls connected by bridges. The stores in them range from the guy with a table of crap to modern stuff you see in 'westernized' countries.
The shops are all manned by phone zombies who seem to have no skills outside of playing with their phone and express heavy annoyance when taken away from their phone to deal with customers.
Carefully questioning fat natives revealed two stores which had clothing huge enough for even me. Needless to say I was excited.
Just like this guy. So...excited... (Disclaimer, not my pic - I've not seen grass here.)
After spending time rousing the zombies, I managed to buy a pair of shorts. Sounds simple for other people but for me to get some that actually fit is not easy.
My role model.
The shorts themselves can be seen above in the picture which I'm surrounded by other travelers. These were the least messed up looking shorts I was able to find. Asian fashions...woohoo...
WHILE SHOPPING
Be sure to try out these massage chairs.
Here is how much they cost.
Totally...worth...it...
At some point, I'm going to go there to just spend an hour in one. Five and a half dollar per hour entertainment I can do for an hour.
VIDEO
The Malaysian reincarnation of Elvis belts out one of his numbers. (Note, I apologize how dark it is. My cheap camera doesn't like the night.)
COSTS
Aside from drinking, I've gotten my costs down to about $25 per day. Drinking could add another $6. Not bad for several hours of entertainment talking to interesting people but still a significant addition.
Excellent Indian meal, 12 MYR
Scooter rental, 30 MYR or 60 MYR, depending on the horse power.
Camera Museum, 20 MYR. (No, I didn't go. Cared more about having 20 MYR than seeing cameras.)
Three mimosas and a paper packet of rice, 3.50 MYR.
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