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Thursday, March 5, 2015

WELCOME TO THE MOST INTERESTING BLOG IN THE WORLD

EGO?

Since I didn't come up with the idea for the title (see below) it is clearly not ego.  It may be ego.



HUMOR IN A FOREIGN LAND

When you don't speak the language nor know the culture, humor is all 'physical comedy'.

While I was shopping in the grocery store, a cart was left in my way.  A couple women were shopping close by.  Presumably it was their cart.

I took the cart and slowly started moving it away.

One of the women made a half-hearted not really conscious of it gesture toward the cart.

I moved the cart away faster.

She made a concerted grab for the cart, worried the fat foreigner would run off with her groceries.

I moved the cart away faster and started doing the 'bwahaha' evil laugh.

When I returned the cart, they thought this was the funniest thing they'd seen all day.

Making people happy!  Well, I like it more than Homer does.




THOUGHT OF THE DAY

Thought of the day given to me by a wise tourist: "You should try everything in life once - Except incest and Morris dancing."  [Edit:  Discovered there is a book with this title here.]



ODDNESS

This hotel I am staying in gets weirder and weirder. 

I was thinking I am the only one staying here.

 Coming from the USA, it's always struck me as odd that businesses can stay open without having customers. That's the first kind of odd thing.

The second is that I think someone pissed all over the hallway outside my door.  [Edit:  Confirmed.  I asked the people who run the place the next day.  They just shrugged like "Shit happens.  Lucky it wasn't shit happening."

If the first thing is accurate and it is the staff themselves doing the pissing, that makes it even more odd.

But it is important to remember this place costs approximately $12.36 per night.  Logan can afford it!

And not to leave your shoes outside your door.



WHERE YOU FROM?

When I was in Central and South America, I learned that people got really irritated if you said "America".  They are also from "America" as the egotistical Amerigo Vespucci named a lot of shit after himself.  Ego plus a lack of creativity is never good when naming stuff.

However, in SE Asia, my stock answer of "USA" is always met with blank stares until I qualify it with "America".  Understanding is then reached.

For those who didn't know, the Americas were named by some Italian guy using a bit of Latin.  Now you know.



OFF THE BEATEN PATH

From long experience, my favorite places to hang out are either small cities or large towns.  These give me enough stuff to explore from day to day.  Kind of the 'goldylocks zone' but on a personal rather than planetary scale.

Within the USA, when you leave the 'city' area, you get to the suburbs.  These are largely comprised of people all living in houses which look pretty similar to each other.  It puts them close to the things they want within the city without needing to live in the city.

Outside of the USA, when you leave the 'city' area, you immediately go to the 'village'.  This is like a giant leap back in time and cleanliness.  While there are rich people who have nice walls and clean areas, most villages are heavily littered rotten shitbags nobody in their right mind would voluntarily live in.  While that may sound a bit harsh, remember that if your neighbor raises livestock (especially chickens) you get that constant din added to the packs of roaming dogs, cats fucking, rats which look like they could carry off a cat and all of the other quaint amenities of 'country living' combined with all the litter of city living.  It's usually ugly and squalid.

Often times, there is no 'trash pick up'.  Where would they put it?  A landfill?  Perhaps the village is viewed as one.  In poor places, trash doesn't mysteriously disappear as it seems to in richer countries.

The natives of these areas usually react in shock when they see me wandering through.  "How the fuck did this fat white guy get here?"  Many are nice though some laugh.  Remember, sensitivity training is well below literacy and many people read with the agility of a third grader in these countries.  I suppose that makes them technically literate but I always wonder when I see a well dressed person carefully sounding out a word.  Is it that this person is barely literate or is their written language that horrible?

Despite how I make it sound, I do enjoy poking around these areas.  Due to the sanitation and noise I wouldn't want to stay there, but it is neat to wander around them a bit.

One of the nicest places.

In both Eastern Europe and SE Asia, it seems 'village life' is never far away from the natives.  I'm not sure how long they have technically lived within cities but you can still see a lot of the habits of the village sticking to them like wet toilet paper.  The people gather with people of their village, consider themselves a part of the village even though the town has grown over the village area and so on.



ADVERTISEMENT PHRASES

I'd asked my friends on Facebook for some ideas and here are some they came up with.

What ones do you like best?  Leave your thoughts (or new ones) in the comments section!


Chris C. "On the go on the low", "Cheap travels", "Hostel to hostel (a cheap travelers story)"

Corey N. Travel "from the trenches", "Wanderlust on a budget", "Logan exposes himself (traveling to other countries)"

Dennis A. "Truth In Travel", "Truth Through Travel", Border TruthBorder TrutBorder TruBorder Truths, "Border Truths"

Derek J. "A pants-on-head travel blog!", "Adventures through time!", "Spirits and Sprites", "A thirsty voyage of self discovery", "The most interesting blog in the world", "An american idiot abroad", "Where's my sock? A tale of love, loss, and pain", "I remember when... a drunk's tales"

Gilbert I. "Travel Whore"

Jonathan P. "the world from a different point of view...", "To infinity & beyond! (at least until my pension runs out)"

Josh M. "My drunken escapades", "drunken shenanigans"

Julie J. "The World according to Logan", "Travel ala Logan", "World Travel Logan-style"

Jason P. "Voyager, Voyeur, Vigilante", "Tales of an anti-tourist"

Leon C. "Blog to Blog", "Pillar to (blog) Post"

Mathias M. "Give Me Liquor, Foreigner"

Michael S. "Wino Wanderings"

Mike G. "Bordering on Truth", Travel Accuracy. Truth About Traveling. What am I doing out here I don't even know. Don't Wish Me Safe Travels, Where The @#%^! Am I Now?

Murlka K. "The Waddling Traveller", "Putting the T in Travel and Travesty"

Peter H. "World travel on a pension"

Razvan O. "Mad man on the lose in Cambodia"

Stephen W. "Travelers Diarrhea - Lessons from the, oh look free vodka!"

Travis G. "Truth in travel", "A guide to nowhere/everywhere", "To nowhere and back to nowhere", "I'm walking here!", "Real travel, no really", "Yes America, there are other countries!"



ON EQUALITY

This video is golden.



WHAT DOES LOGAN THINK OF YOU?

Just watched this video.

Wow, they say a lot of stupid and insensitive shit.

I do too but people realize that I am saying it sarcastically, to point out problems in our system as I did when some bakery refused to make a wedding cake for a gay couple. I suggested they have a long sign of who all they refused to serve hanging on their business. Perhaps a long, long list would be appropriate. 1950's style.

Fortunately, people who know me well (or at least read my blog) quickly realize that at my core, I don't give a shit. Truly. I don't care what color you are or what sex you are. I don't care what religion you are unless you try to talk to me about it.

The important thing to me is "Are we going to have a good time? An interesting conversation? A bunch of alcohol?"

Remember, even if your religious beliefs keep you from drinking, they do not specifically say you can't buy Logan alcohol.  That's the important thing to remember.

Most of the stuff people use to try to determine 'what box should someone be in' is to try to figure out 'is this human in my tribe or outside of my tribe'. Since I am now the 'eternal foreigner', I'm not really in any tribe - but interested in every tribe.

Some people say Logan is equally hateful of everyone, hence does not discriminate.



VIDEOS

Ever seen Apocalypse Now?  Here's my brief reenactment for my buddy TJ.
Glamour of travel



COSTS

Street food:  30-60 baht (one or two dollars).  This is what keeps Thailand cheaper.  Note that if you eat at fancy restaurants, you lose that edge.

3 comments:

  1. BTW, as of last week I have now seen Apocalypse Now... yep, fuckin' good movie.

    ReplyDelete
  2. It's the kind of movie that changes the way you listen to a song. Now, whenever I hear Ride of the Valkeries by Wagner, I want to strafe a Vietnamese village in attack helicopters.

    ReplyDelete
  3. BTW: I normally don't recommend 'the making of' however http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0102015/?ref_=nv_sr_1 this was extremely interesting.

    ReplyDelete

PICTURES

{{2011}} London, GB | Rail N Sail | Amsterdam, Netherlands | Prague, Czech Republic | Budapest, Hungary | Sarajevo, Bosnia | Romania | Chisinau, Moldova | Ukraine: Odessa - Sevastopol | Crossed Black Sea by ship | Georgia: Batumi - Tbilisi - Telavi - Sighnaghi - Chabukiani | Turkey: Kars - Lost City of Ani - Goreme - Istanbul | Jordan: Amman - Wadi Rum | Israel | Egypt: Neweiba - Luxor - Karnak - Cairo | Thailand: Bangkok - Pattaya - Chaing Mai - Chaing Rei | Laos: Luang Prabang - Pakse | Cambodia: Phnom Penh | Vietnam: Vung Tau - Saigon aka Ho Chi Minh City

{{2012}} Cambodia: Kampot - Sihanoukville - Siem Reap - Angkor Wat | Thailand: Bangkok | India: Rishikesh - Ajmer - Pushkar - Bundi - Udaipur - Jodhpur - Jasalmer - Bikaner - Jaipur - Agra - Varanasi | Nepal: Kathmandu - Chitwan - Pokhara - Bhaktapur - (Rafting) - Dharan | India: Darjeeling - Calcutta Panaji | Thailand: Bangkok - again - Krabi Town | Malaysia, Malaka | Indonesia: Dumas - Bukittinggi - Kuta - Ubud - 'Full Throttle' - Gili Islands - Senggigi | Cambodia: Siem Reap | Thailand: Trat | Turkey: Istanbul | Georgia: Tbilisi

{{2013}} Latvia: Riga | Germany: Berlin | Spain: Malaga - Grenada | Morocco: Marrakech - Essauira - Casablanca - Chefchawen - Fes | Germany: Frankfurt | Logan's Home Invasion USA: Virginia - Michigan - Indiana - Illinois - Illinois - Colorado | Guatemala: Antigua - San Pedro | Honduras: Copan Ruinas - Utila | Nicaragua: Granada | Colombia: Cartagena | Ecuador: Otavalo - Quito - Banos - Samari (a spa outside of Banos) - Puyo - Mera

{{2014}} Peru: Lima - Nasca - Cusco | Dominican Republic | Ukraine: Odessa | Bulgaria: Varna - Plovdiv | Macedonia: Skopje - Bitola - Ohrid - Struga | Albania: Berat - Sarande | Greece: Athens | Italy: Naples - Pompeii - Salerno | Tunisia: Hammamet 1

{{2015}} Hammamet 2 | South Africa: Johnnesburg | Thailand: Hua Hin - Hat Yai | Malaysia: Georgetown | Thailand: Krabi Town | Indonesia:
Sabang Island | Bulgaria: Plovdiv | Romania: Ploiesti - Targu Mures | Poland: Warsaw | Czech Republic: Prague | Germany: Munich | Netherlands: Groningen | England: Slough | Thailand: Ayutthaya - Khon Kaen - Vang Vieng | Cambodia: Siem Reap

{{2016}} Thailand: Kanchanaburi - Chumphon | Malaysia: Ipoh - Kuala Lumpur - Kuching - Miri | Ukraine: Kiev | Romania: Targu Mures - Barsov | Morocco: Tetouan

{{2017}} Portugal: Faro | USA: Virginia - Michigan - Illinois - Colorado | England: Slough - Lancaster

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